Shards Of Who I Used to Be
by incognitowrites
Summary: Elena Gilbert is a student studying international business at Duke University. Broken and ready to forget the past, Elena goes to study abroad in Italy and is sponsored by the Salvatore family. While one of the brothers is sweet and caring, the other brings out the fire she thought had burnt out. *ALL HUMAN. D/E. * * NO LOVE TRIANGLE.*
1. Prologue: Where it all began

**Shards of Who I Used to Be: **

AHHHH! NEW STORY! Instead of winging it like I'm doing with Denial I decided it would be a better idea to plan things out more and get more organized.

Prologue:

It was like a vision of some sort. I watch as a man approaches a woman. He is tall and strong looking; he would be otherwise attractive except for the scowl on his face. The woman standing opposite of him turns to face him, startled by his appearance. They are in my room. Why are they in my room? Her face is in the shadows and her expression unreadable. She throws her arms up in frustration and seems to be yelling at him. I push on my ears and idly wonder why I can't hear anything. She turns her back on him again and he stalks forward and grabs her arm aggressively. I walk towards them to let my presence be known, this didn't seem right to me. I try to call out but my voice doesn't carry. She fearfully looks up at him and tries to shake loose from his hold. The space between her eyebrows creases and her face morphs into one of concern and fear. She angrily spits back at him. His face scrunches up in anger and a fire lights in his green eyes as his hand draws back to hit the slight girl standing opposite of him. I try to warn her of the oncoming attack. I scream to help but she doesn't move. I run towards them as the man advances on her. My face connects with a clear glass wall placed between me and the warring couple. She wears a mask of incredulity which contorts with pain as his palm connects with her delicate skin. The sting of hitting the glass is simultaneous with that of the girl who had just been hit, almost as if we are both feeling the pain. She puts her elbow up to protect herself from the oncoming blows and stumbles backwards with tears in her eyes. I shudder as he pulls her long brown hair and drags her back. Her brown eyes are brimming over with tears as she sobs quietly. He angrily spits insults at her as she cowers away from him. Something he said causes the girl to stand up and scream back. He approached her with his face snarled into a fatal expression. I bang on the glass with both fists pleadingly, praying to god that the man stops the assault. Without a flinch he draws his fist back and with one final blow the girl goes to the floor. She's lying on the floor now facing the glass wall. Her breathing seems pained; her pleading eyes meet mine before a sound echoes off of the blank walls of the space, a gunshot.

With a gasp I open my eyes and defensively curl into the fetal position. My PJ shirt is clinging to my sweat covered body. I shakily rise from my bed while wrapping the duvet around my body in a protective cocoon and switch on the light. My body shakes with fear and the aftershock of my night terror. This nightmare is always the same, except it isn't some melodramatic teen drama I conjured up in my head, unfortunately it was my life. The girl in the dream now seems vaguely familiar as I stare into the mirror opposite of my bed. A shudder runs up my spine, of course this was no nightmare. I touch my scared skin gently and probe at the now fading line just below my eye. That scar was made by the shard of glass he scratched me with. It's almost as if I can still feel the sting of his swing. I can still see the tangible proof that he was here; it was spread around my body. Covered loosely by bandages, my cracked ribs protest against my quick wheezing breaths that wrack my frame. But what I remember most is the momentary stutter of my heart beat that signified it breaking when the man I loved drew back the safety on his pistol and pulled the trigger twice Once on me, narrowly missing my lung and cracking a rib and once on him to the brain. I grasp the edge of my dresser and hold my body weight against it and weight for the attack to pass. I wonder if I should wake Jenna up but decide against it.

"This is your fault" echoed in my head over and over again, the last words he said before her pulled the trigger on me. I take a few shallow breaths effectively calming me a bit and think of what my therapist told me to do when I get these nightmares. I'm supposed to start with the things I know about myself. My name is Elena Gilbert, I am 21 years old. I have one brother named Jeremy, he is 19 years old. He's been getting into trouble lately, he drinks and I suspect he is doing drugs. We live with my Aunt Jenna who is 32 in our deceased parent's house. Both of my parents are dead. _Guilt._ The man I loved is dead because of me. _Guilt. _ I can't sleep in this house anymore, not in the room where I almost died and the man who abused me attempted my murder and successfully committed suicide. I wish we could just remodel the house already, get rid of the painful memories. I had substantially calmed down at this point; my fear had been eradicated by my rational thoughts. Only now it was replaced with something worse, guilt. I slowly walked to the window seat and moved the pillows around. I found my cell phone under the pillows and checked the time; it was only 3:00 in the morning. I flopped onto the seat and covered my body with the duvet. I was lucky tonight; I had gotten four hours of sleep tonight. I hadn't slept a full night's of sleep since he did it about two months ago. I was a physical wreck, I had gotten on break for school and came home expecting to spend time with him. The first time I met Mason I remember coming home and telling my mother I was going to marry him. Oh how wrong I was. I look around the room that doesn't feel like home and bitterly smile. I should find Jenna's label maker and label everything I touch damaged goods. Thank God I will be out of here in week, I can't stand another minute. In only one month I will be in the Tuscan sun in Italy. That's what our fight was about, the fact that I had a course requirement to fulfill for my major in international business. I would never get my degree if I couldn't do one semester at least studying abroad. Mason couldn't take being away from me, he didn't trust me and I don't think he ever loved me. You don't try to kill the people you love. I couldn't wait to be in Italy, no worries, no crazy boyfriends and nobody who knows what I have gone through. That's the worst part I think, walking around town hearing the whispered words and seeing the sympathetic looks. At least at Duke only very few people know of my problems. I swing my legs off of the bench and walk down the hall. I quickly pad my way down the stairs and flick the light switch in the kitchen on. I walk to the sink and find the prescription my doctor had given me. I twist the lid off and see only four pills left. Good, I'm done with this stuff. It's just a reminder I can't handle my own life and I need prescription medication so I don't have an anxiety attack. I gulp one down with a glass of water and stand in my kitchen not knowing what exactly to do. Jenna has left the letter from Duke on the kitchen table reminding me to pay for tuition. I decided it was time for me to start packing up my things for when I would go back to North Carolina in five days. I went back upstairs and spent the next few hours packing up my stuff. I was going to be spending my last two semesters of college in Florence Italy, and for once in my life I knew nothing would go wrong.


	2. One week too long

**Hello everyone! I hope you guys like this chapter! I promise next chapter will be Elena going to Italy so please bear with me! This might get a little confusing but elena is taking multiple Italian classes (Because of her major in international business) so there will be a lot of Italian in this story. I speak Spanish so everything in here is compliments of Google translate. After the Italian there is a sentence inside the parenthesis because I didn't know how else to really write it. Sorry if it gets confusing! Please review and tell me what you think! **

**Thanks Guys!**

**Emil**

"Mi aspetto un completo 7-10 documento, pagina, con tutti entro domani. No eccezioni!" (I expect a full seven to ten page paper with everyone by tomorrow. No exceptions!) Rick said as he dismissed us. The other students hurried out of the room leaving me alone, still putting away my computer. Rick looks up from his desk and says good bye to the P.A who quickly walks out.

"Ciao Elena. Che cosa posso aiutarti?" (Hello Elena. What can I help you with?)

I smile and answer back in inferior Italian.

" Ciao rick. mi hai mandato dicendo avevo bisogno di fissare un appuntamento con lei." (you emailed me saying I needed to make an appointment with you.)

He nodded his head and smiled. Rick was by far my favorite professor; he was the head of the foreign language program at Duke and had become somewhat of a father figure for me over the past four years.

"I'm going to talk in English now if you don't mind." he said rolling his eyes.

He was such a down to earth guy and extremely young to be a professor. He looks down at his watch. "I can see you now if you have time" he says. Rick is around thirty with sandy brown hair and green eyes. I make a mental note to try to set him up with Jenna.

"I have time. I have about three hours until my next class so I'm good." I say as we walk into the adjoining hall. His office is the largest and homiest around the campus. I plop down in my usual chair and relax myself.

"Okay Elena I finally have the details regarding your host family for the study abroad program."

Yes! I internally chant. I can't help the smile that is on my face, for the first time in a while I feel genuinely happy. He chuckles at my face and looks at the computer monitor and prints something out. He pulls on his glasses and reads from the sheet.

"Your host family lives in….." he skims through the paper and finally finds what he's looking for. "A villa in Tuscany. Damn. An eighty acre olive orchard, they are in the olive oil business apparently. They are a pretty influential family in the area and extremely wealthy. But all of them happen to speak English as their first language" I gulped, now I was getting a little worried. When you think about it, it's kind of crazy. You show up at someone's house and just live there even though you don't really know them. Rick smiled warmly at me.

"Elena I can see you overthinking it from here. I'm going to print you a copy. The last page is your travel arrangements. Don't freak out, you need this. I can see it. I'm gonna miss you kid." He said looking at me.

His green eyes held sympathy which I would accept only from him. He handed me the dossier and led me to the door. I walked across campus and headed to the Starbucks on the corner. I order a venti caramel macchiato and got down to business, I pull out my mac and a pen as well as the information on the family I will be living with for the next four months. The cover is letter addressed to me from Giuseppe's son, Stefan. He is very polite and has made himself very approachable, leaving me with his email for easier communication. He states multiple times how excited he is for my arrival, he sounds very young and carefree. The second page is more formal and I suspect was written by a more mature adult if not Giuseppe himself. He gives a brief and general overview of the home as well as the rules, nothing very specific just general rules that would apply in your own home. He apologizes but tells me that I will be asked to do a few minor things around the house which seems only fair since I am being taken in completely. I'm surprised to see that there isn't really much on the family itself, only that I will be staying with a Giuseppe and Stefan Salvatore and their ages and minor interests. I see nothing wrong with the document and I review the notes I have taken on the margins of the pages. I open up Gmail and fire the man Stefan an email.

_**Hello Stefan,**_

_**I would like to thank you and your father in advance for your commitment and hospitality towards me and my studies. I greatly look forward to meeting you both in almost a week's time. I am very excited to make both you and your father's acquaintance.**_

_**Thank you once again,**_

_**Elena Gilbert**_

I carefully place the paperwork with my travel information in my folder and take out the prompt for the essay that's due tomorrow. I look down at my depleted cup, I'm gonna need some more coffee.

Three hours and one horrible economics' class later, I stumble down the road and off campus. My stomach rumbles and I silently plead Bonnie decided to cook dinner tonight. I met Bonnie my sophomore year and we became friends instantly, she was a calming presence and was extremely rational. I dragged my feet up the stairs of my apartment complex and silently tip toes as I get closer to my door. I gently twist the door handle and groan when it's locked. I take out my keys carefully, trying hard not to draw too much attention. That went down the toilet when I hear the door next to me swing open, I cringe.

"Elena!" Matt says as he casually leans against the door frame.

Poor Matty, he is such a good hearted kid. He's been trying to go out with me since freshman year, every time he sees me he asks if I want to go get a drink or grab dinner. It's a painful thing to have to look into his adorable blue eyes and deny him anything. And it's funny because he is exactly the guy I would go for, smart, funny but above all caring. He would never push me to do anything, we wouldn't scream and yell; we would talk gently and figure it out. He would never pull a gun on me, the thought crossed my mind and I shook my head to expel it. That's right, damaged goods. Who in their right mind would want to deal with Elena Gilbert's romantic catastrophes?

I plastered a well-practiced fake smile on my face and replied, "Hey Mattie what's up?"

He smiles in return, "Dinner tonight Gilbert?"

Wow. I think that's a new record for him, we didn't even get through greetings this time. I bite my lip and try to deliver the inevitable as gently as possible, "Matt, you know I can't. Plus I am leaving for Italy in almost a week, what good would it do?" I asked gently.

He shook his head and smiled, "Alright Len I'll lay off of it." I internally cringed, my parents used to call me Len, now I couldn't stand the sound of it. I pushed my key in the lock and turned it, walking into my glamorous apartment.

It really was something, completely furnished with two bedrooms, two bathrooms', a living area and a kitchen. Living the dream I think and chuckle. I throw my bag on the floor near the front door and hear a sizzling sound that means Jesus has heard my prayers. I trudge into the kitchen and plop down at the small breakfast bar.

"Hey bon" I say yawning. Last night was rough; I got only three hours of sleep before the nightmares jolted me awake. Her striking green eyes meet mine as she warmly smiles and pushes back her dark curls. "You look spent Elena. Take a nap, getting three hours a sleep a night is doing jack shit for your body." Bonnie says with hard eyes. I chuckle at her expression and rest my head against the granite countertop.

" I'm taking the liberty of cooking for you the rest of the week since it is your last. I feel like we are breaking up." She says with a pout.

I giggle at her and say "It's not you it's me." She laughs back and replies, "It is most definitely you Gilbert."

She really was my best friend; she knew when I was hurting and when I needed to talk. She was so patient and caring and I'm going to miss her so much. I look at the sizzling pan behind her which looks to be filled with stir-fry. "Mmmm, Bonn that looks heavenly."

I walk over to her and hug her, "You wok!" I say giggling. She rolls her eyes at my poor joke and sets down two plates and forks and grabs the pan. She dishes out a pile of stir-fry onto my plate. Yep definitely heavenly.

"Jamie's coming by in a few minutes if you don't mind." She says smiling. Jamie and Bonnie have been seeing each other for the past four months. He is a great guy and he makes Bonnie step outside her comfort zone sometimes. "You got it bad Bonnie Bennet" I say. I can't help but smile when she is so happy.

"Elena you better call me or email me every day and tell me about all the hot Italian boys falling at your feet. It's been too long for you! You need a little fun! Promise me you won't just sit inside and read all day?" she asks hopefully. I roll my eyes, its Italy why would I read when I can do so many things? Sure enough we eat our dinner in comfortable conversation until Jamie arrives. Bonnie runs to the door and kisses him passionately, I feel like they deserve privacy so I look away. I remember when all I wanted was a love like that, one that took no prisoners, a kiss I felt in the back of knee caps, or when you look at him nothing matters anymore. That's what I see with Bonnie and Jamie and that's what I will never have. When I was a little girl I thought I would be married by now, but I just don't know if I could ever be in a relationship again. I'm too broken. Damn, I'm going to need a jar of nutella and a spoon if I keep thinking about this. Bonnie and Jamie walk hand in hand into the kitchen with private smiles.

" Hey Elena!" he says warmly his dark brown eyes crinkling with a smile.

"Hey Jamie! I know you guys haven't seen each other in a few weeks so I'm going to give you some privacy. I'm putting my headphones on so don't worry about being too loud." I wink. Jamie smirks and Bonnie's mouth hangs wide open. I grab my bag and stroll into my room leaving them to..do whatever. I close my door and put my phone in my ihome and turn up the music.. I pull out the Letter from Stefan and put it on the table to give back to Rick. I flip open my laptop and check for any new emails. There's one from Jenna telling me to call her and one from Stefan Salvatore.

_**Elena,**_

_**It is no trouble at all. We are very excited to have someone new in the household, things have been stagnant for far too long. Your mentor Alaric has already emailed us your travel itinerary and if you wish, I can pick you up from the airport. The drive to our home is a little under an hour away so it would be no trouble at all. I look forward to hearing from you Elena.**_

_**Regards,**_

_**Stefan Salvatore**_

I smile at his words; he seems to be a very nice guy. I think we will get along. My excitement is growing every day. While I'm in Italy I will be "enriching my knowledge of international business" at an Italian fashion company. I remind myself to pack some smart business clothes. I hit the reply button and shoot him back a quick email.

_**Stefan,**_

_**I would greatly appreciate a lift from the airport. I look forward to seeing you in just under a week. Below I have written my cell phone number in case you need to contact me for any reasons, please don't hesitate to call. Thank you once again,**_

_**Elena Gilbert**_

_**( 1-691-413-8643)**_

I close my computer and stand in front of my walk in closet, preparing myself for one of the most difficult decisions of my lifetime, what to pack for Italy.


	3. Italia

I know two chapters in one day. Can you guys tell I'm excited about this story? If you like what you see please review! ALSO if you feel like it, check out the other story I am writing DEnial! Please review! Show me some love for all of my hard work! Thanks for reading guys!

Emily

I cock my head to the side and look at myself in the mirror. I need to make a solid first impression. I'm currently wearing black skinny jeans with a flowy mint shirt and a black blazer in case I get chilly. My long brown hair hangs straight to my shoulders and my cheeks are flushed pink with excitement. Jenna knocks at the door and promptly enters. She and Jeremy got here yesterday to see me off, her sandy blond hair was pushed back in a rare ponytail and she was wearing sweatpants. I smiled at her and waved at her to come in.

"Elena! We have to leave in the next ten minutes if you want to get on your flight!" she said rushed.

I smile at her and look around my room for the last time. I can't find anything else of importance to shove into my already over packed bags so I grab my phone from the charger and leave my room until my graduation in about four months. Jenna smiles at me excitedly and I return her smile with a large one of my own. Bonnie is standing cross the room at the door with tears welling up in her eyes; I drop my purse on the floor and run up to hug her.

"If I don't get an email, phone call or a text every day, I'm going to fly to Italy and steal your ass back." She said as tears streamed down her face. I felt tears prick the back of my eyes as I squeezed her one more time and then pulled away from her.

"Jer already put your bags in the car Elena. We are ready when you are." Jenna said quietly.

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and giggled at bonnie waving to her before closing the door to the apartment and opening one to a fresh start.

The ride to the airport is relatively quiet, Jer is listening to his music and Jenna is quiet for once. I smile as I see the signs for the airport and do one final check for my passport, license and wallet. I push aside the mini English to Italian dictionary Rick got me as a parting gift and roll my eyes. Jenna pulls up to the curb at the departure gates and the three of us jump out of the car. Jer goes to the trunk and starts pulling out my three bags and rolling them to the baggage check. He stiffly hugs me and smiles as I wrap my arms around him. He quietly tells me to call every so often and stands to the side for Jenna to attack me with affection. She doesn't disappoint, I stand there for about two minutes in her embrace before I chuckle and pull back. We both are wearing huge grins.

"Have fun Elena. You deserve it. Text me when you get in." She smiles and retreats to the car.

I pull my bags one at a time to the curbside baggage check and quickly get all of them checked. I turn and wave to my family and walk into the airport. I quickly grab my ticket and breeze through security. My flight doesn't leave for another two hours so I walk through the shops with the intention of bringing something to the Salvatore family. I decide on bringing them a bottle of American wine and pick the best one I can find. It's actually kind of stupid that I should be bringing them wine considering they live in Italy which is THE place for wine. I thank the cashier and buy a magazine to keep me busy. I stop at the Starbucks across from my gate and grab an iced coffee. I tap my foot impatiently for an hour before the gate attendant makes the announcement I have been waiting for. I quickly pull out my phone and text Jenna and Bonnie and then shut off my phone. I bounce up to the gate and hand over my ticket. The attendant looks bored and scans the ticket and thanks me for choosing Air Italia in a monotone voice. Nothing can ruin my jubilant mood right now. I walk down the jet way and am greeted by a flight attendant who brings me to my seat. Fortunately, Alaric seemed to have pulled some strings because I was sitting comfortably in first class with a glass of champagne at my seat. The leather seat was beyond comfortable; I promptly stretched my legs out and fell into a deep dreamless sleep before the door was even closed.

A slight tap on my shoulder shakes me from my sleep. A flight attendant wearing an apologetic smile is gently touching my shoulder.

"Sorry honey but we are starting our decent; I'm going to need you to put the seat up for landing." I pull the blanket off of my body and put my seat upright. "Thank you dear." She says. "Can I bring you anything?" she asks kindly.

"Can I please have a glass or bottle of water?" She nods and walks away. I stretch my limbs and I feel, good. This is probably the first time I have had a full night's sleep in months. My sleep was completely uninterrupted. The flight attendant places some bottle of artisan water on the small table next to me and leaves. I gently rub out the wrinkles in my clothing and run my fingers through my hair. I open the window and squint into the bright light and look down at the Italian country side and smile. It's so green and open with rolling hills and just a few meandering roads. About twenty minutes later our plane touches down. The captain goes over the announcements and welcomes us in Italian.

"Benvenuti in Italia. Il tempo è 65 gradi Fahrenheit. Se sono solo visitando il vostro soggiorno e per tutti gli altri, benvenuti a casa." (Welcome to Italy. The weather is sixty five degrees Fahrenheit. If you are just visiting enjoy your stay and to everyone else, welcome home.) I quickly text Jenna and Bonnie to let them know I landed safely.

The doors open and I stretch my legs, grab my bag and walk outside on to the tarmac. The Tuscan sun warms my skin and I smile up at it. I practically run into the airport. It's everything you would expect, people leisurely walking about the airport carrying Dolce and Gabbana bags and wearing Louboutin heels. Women stylishly dressed with sun kissed skin grin back at me as I walk through the modern terminal building. I follow the signs to baggage claim and as I descend the stairs I see two men standing holding a small sign that says Elena Gilbert. I take a deep breath and collect my thoughts and walk towards the two men. One seems to be in a uniform of some sort and is talking to the other man who has his back towards me. I cautiously walk forward and the man holding the sign looks at me, he clears his throat. The other man turns around and I falter a step. Holy shit this man is a hot. He is tall and his slim body is dressed in a white button down shirt with blue jeans. He has neatly styled copper hair and strong chiseled features on his olive toned skin. His big green eyes appraise me from under a thick fringe of lashes. His mouth curves upward into a smile as he steps forward.

"Elena?" he asks as he scrunches his face questionably. This must be Stefan Salvatore.

"Stefan?" I ask matching his tone. He chuckles and steps forward.

"Yes. Stefan Salvatore. Welcome to Italy Elena, it is very nice to finally meet you." He says extending his hand to me. I grasp it and shake it firmly.

"Thank you. You as well." I reply politely. Damn he is hot. He stands looking at me with a slight smile on his face. His driver clears his throat and Stefan physically jumps. I can't help the small smirk that is on my face as he turns to the smiling driver.

"Elena, this is our driver Antonio. He will help you with your bags. He doesn't speak any English." He gestures to the man beside him.

"Ciao signorina Gilbert. Il mio nome è Antonio. E 'un piacere conoscerti." (Hello Miss Gilbert. My name is Antonio. It is a pleasure to meet you.) He says in impeccable Italian. He appears to be a middle aged man, he has a warm smile that goes all the way up to his eyes. He reminds me a lot of my father, I automatically like him.

I answer with equal flourish. "Grazie mille. Sono lieto di fare la vostra conoscenza. Ti dispiacerebbe aiutarmi con i miei bagagli per favore? E per favore mi chiami Elena." (Thank you very much. I am pleased to make your acquaintance. Would you mind helping me with my bags please? And please call me Elena.) He seems shocked as I extend my hand to him; he hesitantly shakes it and looks at Stefan who is gaping. Antonio nods and starts walking forward.

"Elena you have a beautiful accent. Have long have you been speaking Italian?" he asked inquisitively as we walked towards baggage claim and Antonio gathered my bags for me.

" I started when I was about twelve. My grandmother on my father's side spoke it fluently but my mother's side was fluent in Bulgarian. I was actually born in Bulgaria, I have dual citizenship." I say explaining myself. My mother used to call me a human melting pot; I smile sadly at the memory.

"Wow," Stefan said looking impressed. "You are trilingual and only twenty one. No wonder you are studying international business you could be in the U.N with all the languages you know." I chuckle at him. Once all of my bags have been collected we walk outside of the concourse and to a black Mercedes Benz on the curb.

I thank Antonio and he smiles and nods back to me. He opens the car door for me and I slide into the car. Stefan also sits in the back and straps himself in. Antonio climbs into the front seat and turns off the air conditioning. He pulls away from the curb and out onto the main road.

"Would you mind if we put the windows down? It is so beautiful out." I asked.

Stefan smiled and said it was no trouble and told Antonio to put the windows down. The forty five minute ride passed quickly with Stefan's constant comfortable conversation. He didn't ask too much about me which I was thankful for. He answered my questions about the house and explained the places we were passing. For the past half hour we had been traveling in the country side, every few minutes you would see a sign for a different orchard or vineyard. It was nothing like the movies, it was absolutely gorgeous. I inhaled the clean air deeply and closed my eyes as the sun hit my face. We pull onto a dirt road a few minutes later and I am stunned into silence at the property in front of me. The home is huge! It is situated in-between a group of rolling hills overlooking miles of what looks like some kind of orchard. The home its self is brick with a terracotta roof and windows everywhere.

"Benvenuti a casa mia signorina Elena" (Welcome to my home miss Elena) Stefan said in an accent that could make me swoon. There were few things hotter than a guy who could speak another language.

The car stops in front of the massive estate and I hop out excitedly. I thank Antonio who tells me he will bring my bags to my room. Stefan leads me through the door and it does not disappoint. The foyer has steeple ceilings and dark wood floors running as far as I can see. A room with a massive fireplace and leather couches was rustically decorated reflecting the landscape. He leads me through another hallway until we arrive at a large wooden staircase. It looked older than most of the house, more worn in.

"If you don't mind me asking Stefan, how old is this home?"

"The house was built in the 1800's; all of the rooms have been refurbished. The staircase and the house structure its self are all original." He says proudly. Wow, the 1800's. I run my hand along the banister and can tell that this house has been loved for many years.

"I'm sure you would like to clean up after your long flight so I'll show you to your room. My father would also like to see you when you are ready, but that can wait until after dinner." He said considerately. I hadn't really thought about that, I wanted to explore this monstrosity of a house but figured after a nine hour flight I probably looked like hell. We walked up the creaky stairs and along another seemingly endless hallway. The hall was painted with neutral colors and reflected a relaxed ambiance. Stefan abruptly stopped at one of the many doors in the hallway and pointed to the room at the end of the hall.

"That room at the end is my father Giuseppe's room, and mine is that way." He said pointing in the opposite direction. "And this is your room." He said opening the door in front of me. It is a massive room the size of a master bedroom in any normal sized house. It was decorated with a girl in mind and was white and black from the walls to the impeccably clean sheets and pillowcases.

"I'll leave you here. Feel free to explore when you are ready. Damon should be starting dinner in an hour or so. This is your home now Elena, do whatever you want." He said smiling. In the past hour I have decided I like Stefan. He reminds me of Matt, he's the nice guy. Incredibly good looking, things would be natural with him, easy even. He would definitely be a very good friend to make. He closes the door and leaves. I look at the clock on my phone and sigh, this time zone change is going to ruin me. It's 3:00 pm here and I'm starving. I idly wonder who the person Stefan mentioned before is. Damien I think he said? He's probably the chef; they look like they can afford one.

I walk around the room and survey what is there. Noticing my bags have already been brought up. I think I'm going to like it here. The bedroom is rather big and I walk over to the window seat and sit on it, almost like mine at home. I tug the windows open and let the breeze run into the room. I turn the corner to see an in suite bathroom. It's beautiful and stays with the black and white theme. It has a large shower with glass walls and one of those bathtubs with the cute little feet. I run my fingers along the fluffy white towels on the towel rack and turn back into the room. Near the bathroom there is another door I pull it open and gasp. There is a massive walk in closet completely at my disposal. It has pristine white carpets and a black leather couch in the middle. I clap my hands excitedly and begin the process of moving my bags one by one into the closet. I decide to unpack one bag and then I can explore. I hang all of my sundresses on one rack and stow my all of my skirts and pjs in the large antique armoire. I pick a belted navy cotton sundress and put it to the side for after my shower. I grab the shampoo and conditioner out of my bag and walk out back into the bathroom. The shower is already stocked with everything I need so I stow it under the sink. Wow, they really thought of everything. I remind myself to thank them for all of this… stuff. I take a necessary hot shower sufficiently removing all traces of plane from my body. I throw on my dress and lightly do my makeup. I decide to let my hair naturally curl and slip into a pair of espadrilles. I tenitavly walk outside the safety of my bedroom and down the large hall. I stop and look at the old black and white pictures of the families before the Salvatore's. I make my way down the hallway and pass the stairway. Pausing when I come across a door to a small balcony terrace. I open the glass door and look down on the miles of tree before me. I decide there will be plenty of time to look around the house; I want to be outside right now.

YEY! I know some of you are concerned about a "love triangle" happening, don't worry I can't stand Stefan and Elena together. Stefan is definitely going to try to win Elena over but she won't give him the time of day. DAMON NEXT CHAPTER!

PLEASE REVIEW!

Love you all!


	4. A fine line between a God and a Demon

I pull off my deathtrap as I walk out the back kitchen door of the Salvatore house, check that, mansion. I walk along the large patio and survey the area. There is a fire pit and a huge outdoor kitchen unit. Someone in this family definitely likes to cook. As I approach the grass, I take off the death traps that are my shoes and place them on the ground. The sun is just above the horizon line as I walk; it warms my body and only adds to my blissful feelings. I'm in Tuscany! After a few minutes of walking among assorted fruit trees, I come across a gated area. I peek around the white fence to see a very large garden. It's filled with different types of fruit trees and plants. I smile as I think of the small vegetable garden my mother used to have behind my house. I unlatched the gate and walked along the stone path stopping to look at the labeled cards. In the middle of the garden there was a wrought iron bench which was covered by an arched Trellis of roses. It was so beautiful and fragrant. What a beautiful place to live. I looked around m, there was quite a variety of plants. Someone had a knack for gardening. I bend down and look at all the veggies wondering if the Salvatore's even had to go grocery shopping with all of this fresh produce. After a few minutes I stand from the bench and begin making my way out of the garden on the opposite side. I pass by a few lettuce heads, cabbage, eggplants and a variety of other vegetables. I squat down next to a tomato plant and touch the leaves. Everything here is in remarkably good shape. I take a ripe cherry tomato off of the vine and pop it in my mouth. This is literally perfect, under the Italian sun, eating tomatoes off the vine. I don't think life could currently get any better. I chuckle and grab another one and pop it in my mouth.

"You know in Italy that's considered stealing." A voice calls out.

I jump and snap my head to the sound. Someone is standing just outside the fence area on the opposite side of the garden. The owner of the velvet voice opens the gate and comes into view. I can just make out a slender form coming my way. He continues to walk closer and just like that I'm staring into the bluest set of eyes I have seen in my entire life. A small gasp escapes my lips as I take in the man in front of me, if I thought Stefan was an angel this man was a god. My eyes raked over his face and then his body and it appears he was doing the same to me. His skin was pale and offset by a mess of inky black hair. His perfect mouth curved into a smirk and his sea blue eyes danced with amusement.

"Or do they not have any rules in America?" he asks cocking his head to the side. I faltered. I must have heard him wrong.

"Excuse me?" I said offended. He smirked again and set down the wicker basket he was carrying.

"Oh I'm sorry are you slow?" he probed. You have got to be kidding me. My perfect day just took a turn for the worse.

"Are you seriously talking to someone you just met like that? Who the hell do you think you are?" I asked angrily.

He shrugs his shoulders and narrows his eyes. He picks four small eggplants and makes his rounds to the other plants. I stand there waiting for a response. He bends his slim body over and picks up a few full size tomatoes. My gaze travels down to his bare feet and where his black pants are rolled up to the base of his strong calves.

"I was just picking vegetables, following orders when I saw someone breaking the law. Part of my citizenship is to uphold the law. But I see they don't do that where you're from."

Wow. I can't remember the last time I was this angry. Who the hell is this guy? Who does he think he is walking in here all accusatory? Any attraction he had vanished when he opened his mouth and said his snarky comments.

"If it's that much of an offense to you, I'll pay the owner of the house back. How much can two cherry tomatoes cost?" I ask sarcastically. His eyes scour me up and down.

"You probably couldn't afford it." And I'm done. Without another word, I turn on my heel and stalk out of the garden. Seeing, I walk back to the house and try to calm myself down knowing that I'll just project it on everyone else. That wouldn't be the best thing to do on my first day. I take a few deep breaths and reenter the house through the backdoor. There is a small mudroom which leads into the kitchen. I breathe a sigh of relief when I see Stefan perched on a bar stool at the breakfast bar. He turns around and smiles at me.

"Hey Elena. How do you like the house?" he asked kindly and I finally relax. This is how you treat people, with kindness. Stefan should give that asshole outside some notes on social cues. Who was that guy anyway? He must be a landscaper, worker or something. I think for a second maybe I should say something to Stefan but decide against it.

"It's beautiful thank you. I was just walking the grounds. I don't think getting bored in a place like this is an easy task." He shook his head in agreement.

"My father would like to see you when you are ready." He said sympathetically.

I nodded my head yes and he directed me down another hall. After a sharp knock on the large mahogany door a voice told me to come in. I carefully opened the door and took in my surroundings; it was what you would expect of an office. Except tripled in size, a desk sat in the middle of a book shelf lined wall. Behind a desk in the back of the room was a man who looked very much like Stefan, they had the same copper hair and green eyes. He smiled at me and pushed his glasses up onto his head.

"You must be Elena Gilbert. I am Giuseppe Salvatore." He extends his hand and I shake it firmly. I sit in the chair opposite of him and clear my throat.

"Mr. Salvatore I would like to thank you for this opportunity and your unflinching hospitality. I am so grateful to be here." His firm expression seems to warm at my words.

"It is my pleasure Elena. We will be living together for the next few months so I would prefer if you called me Giuseppe. "

I nodded my head and smiled.

"Now" he said pulling his glasses down on his head. "I know you have received my letter regarding rules of the household. I would just like to briefly go over them, if you have any questions you may stop me. There are no set rules of this household, all I ask is that you act with decorum and don't do anything you wouldn't do in your own house. You are a reflection of this family. If I find out you are stealing, drinking to excess or doing any illegal activities you will be out of this house. Is that clear?" he asks his face stern. I can tell you don't want to get on Giuseppe's Salvatore's bad side. I could tell a lot of people find him intimidating.

"Yes sir. I would never jeopardize this opportunity for something as worthless as the things you mentioned." I answered honestly. I haven't been much of a drinker since my parent's accident and I had never done any drugs or stolen anything. He nods in agreement and continues.

"I would like to be frank with you Elena if I may. Upon receiving you as the student to be living here I did a background check and compiled information on you. "

_Uhhhh What?_ I think. He must have sensed my dismay because he offered a small reassuring smile.

"Only because I needed to know who was living under my roof. I know a lot about you Elena and I promise to keep that confidential and under wraps as long as you offer my family the same respect." He stated gently.

"Mr. Salvatore…" I started and rephrased my words when I saw his eyebrows rise. "Giuseppe I would never do you or your son the disservice of disclosing any of your personal details. You have shown me only kindness and I intend to show you the same. I hold family very close to my heart and I understand where you are coming from. You have my word." I decided there that Giuseppe wasn't intimidating; he was just a man who wanted to protect his family, he was a worrier.

He cocked his head to the side in a way that looked familiar to me and seemed to be thinking. He smiled and shook his head.

"All right Elena I'm sure you are quite hungry after a day of travel and new things and I will let you leave in a moment but one last thing please. This is your home now just as much as it is mine; you can do what you wish here. Most necessities will be provided for you and I beg you not to object, we are a wealthy family and money is doing no good sitting in a bank. You can go out and bring people to the house if you wish your mentor has briefed me on your situation and told me to stress to you the importance of living a normal life. If I may be so bold to say it, you are a beautiful twenty one year old woman who needs to act like one. I know you have had a difficult few years and I want you to enjoy your experience here and a fresh start. I hope I haven't over stepped my boundaries." He said.

I couldn't help the shy smile that grew on my lips. I can tell he was putting himself out there for me and I was very grateful for it. I'm actually glad he knew about my parents and Mason, it saves me an extremely awkward conversation.

"Thank you again Giuseppe." I smile at him.

"I look forward to getting to know you better Elena. I have only raised boys so a young woman in the house will be a refreshing change. I'll see you at dinner." His eyes were unfocused and he was obviously thinking about something else. With his dismissal I rise from the chair and walk back out to where the staircase was. I decided I better not explore anything else today; I will have plenty of time for that in the months to come. I walk about the bottom floor until I find the staircase. I quickly make my way to my room and take out my laptop shooting Bonnie a quick email. Forty five minutes later the smell of something delicious brings me down from my room. Stefan is setting the table in what looks like is a second dining room, there are four place settings. I guess Antonio will be joining us for dinner.

"Need any help?" I ask as I watch Stefan arrange the cutlery. He looks up and back down at the table.

"Sure, thanks. If you want to fold these napkins you can." He said as he slides me the pile. "How did the talk with Dad go?" His attempt to sound uninterested was unsuccessful.

"It went really good actually; your father is a very nice man." I stated matter of factly. It was true, it wasn't exactly the usual politeness but he was gentle in a rugged kind of way. Stefan gawked at me.

"Nice?" he asked disbelieving.

"Yes. My first impression of him is he tries to be indifferent but I think he is a very kind man."

Stefan gaped at me but dropped the subject as his father entered the room.

He nodded at both me and Stefan and stood at the head of the table.

"Will you need any help with dinner?" I ask and he shakes his head no. He is a man of very few words I have found. Stefan however never seems to never run out of words. He spoke up to keep the conversation going.

"Damon should have it all under control." He said. "Do you cook Elena?" He seemed genuinely interested.

I smirked; cooking was definitely not my forte. "Well if you want to call burning everything I touch cooking then yes I do." I reply. Stefan chuckles and I think I see the ghost of a smirk on Giuseppe's lips. Suddenly another voice adds to the conversation, "well then Ms. Gilbert you picked the wrong house to live in." This has got to be a joke.

My eyes followed the familiar voice to the entrance to see that smirk. That god damn smirk and two blue eyes looking back at me. My mouth opens in protest and then closes again. I can't decide whether I should yell at him or slap that look off of his beautiful face. He strolls to the table and places a covered pot on a potholder and walks to my side of the table.

"You must be Elena Gilbert. I'm Damon. Stefan's brother." He says. He is mocking me. I narrow my eyes at him as he sticks his hand out to shake mine. I place my hand in his and instead of shaking it he pulls it up to his lips and kisses it. My face flushes red with a mixture of embarrassment and anger as I try to gather myself and politely respond.

"Stefan didn't say he had a brother." I say with a fake smile, putting the pieces together in my head. His half smile only grows wider as he watches me struggle to keep my cool.

"Steffie isn't one to brag." he said as he pulls the chair out for me and I sit. The rest of the Salvatore's simultaneously seat themselves. They have exceptional manors. He quickly sits down in the chair opposite of me as Stefan sits beside me. Damon uncovers the pot on the table and starts dishing out on each plate the heavenly smelling food. I start compiling a list of qualities for the man sitting across from me. Right now it reads beautiful, abhorrent, cocky and rude. I wonder what his excuse is; most people usually have an excuse for their behavior. That or he's just an ass; I'd prefer to believe the latter.

"What exactly is this?" I ask looking down at the plate. It looks like a bunch of vegetables covered in Marinara sauce.

"It is Ratatouille. This is an essentially roasted vegetables covered in red sauce. It has tomato in it Elena, you'll like it." He says bringing up the garden incident. I flush beet red at the comment and take a bite. I feel Stefan's gaze and look up. He is looking between Damon and me.

"So Elena, where does your family live?" Stefan asked.

"I live in a small town in Virginia called Mystic Falls with my brother and aunt. " I say and take a bite of the food in front of me. It is surprisingly delicious and I curse the chef internally for being such an ass.

"Where are your parents?" Stefan asks quizzically.

I work to swallow down the lump in my throat and the sob that threatens to escape me. "They died a few years ago." I respond quietly.

"I'm sorry I.." Stefan started but was cut off by Damon.

"Don't mind him Elena. I lost my mother when I was six and I'm sure we know more then everyone how the "I'm sorry's" and "are you Okay's" do nothing but add pain."

I stared in shock as he spoke. Was this the same guy in the garden who insulted me in every way possible? Now he was coming to my aid because something his brother said would make my pain worse. Talk about mixed signals. I threw a thankful glance at him as his beautiful blue eyes met mine. His head bowed a fraction of an inch in an almost imperceptible nod. I decided to start a new topic instead of dwelling on the inner workings of the beautiful man sitting across from me.

"It's alright. I have been living with my Aunt Jenna for the past four almost five years. My brother Jeremy is eighteen years old and is going to school for art. We live in a very small and very tightly knit town. There are no secrets in Mystic Falls." A shudder runs up my spine as I think of Mason, the Mayor's nephew, my now deceased ex-boyfriend. I stab a few circles of eggplant and balance them on the prongs of my fork, dutifully waiting for the next question before I put food in my mouth.

"Where did you go to school?"

Giuseppe clears his throat. "Let the girl eat for goodness sake Stefan." He says sternly, Stefan looks down at his plate embarrassed as I try to suppress my smile.

"You will have to excuse my son Elena. When there is someone or something new to talk to he will go on for days. Trust me, the more familiar you get with him, the less he will ask." Giuseppe says with an eye roll. I feel kind of guilty now; Giuseppe seems harsh on his sons.

I take a bite of the food in front of me and swallow. "It's okay. I don't mind talking. I will be graduating from Duke University in North Carolina in a few months. From there I hope to get an internship or job internationally and eventually start my own business." In my peripheral vision, I see a pair of blue eyes appraising me.

"That's a very ambitious plan. How old are you Elena?" Damon asks and cocks his head. Aha! That's why that looked so familiar!

"I am twenty one." I cautiously said. He nodded and continued eating his dinner. The rest of dinner passed in light conversation. I waited until everyone was finished with their plates and helped clear the table. I thanked Giuseppe and brought the plates to the sink. I feel a presence behind me and carefully turn around. It's Damon; I roll my eyes and continue loading the dishwasher.

"Elena. I would like to apologize for the way I acted before, there is no excuse." He said with his blue eyes burning into mine as I looked up at him. Talk about mercurial, his moods swung like a pendulum. _Yea there is no excuse _I thought. Stefan walks up behind me and carefully puts the glasses in the sink.

"Allow me to take you on a full tour of the grounds tomorrow to properly repay you." He asks politely. I stop loading the dishwasher and look up at him. Stefan seems to be doing the same thing with a shocked look on his face. I stare up at the beautiful man before me and nod my head, unable to form words when I look into his crystalline eyes. He smiles a breath taking toothy smile and retires to his room. Once I finish the dishes, I say good night to the remaining Salvatore's and snuggle deep into the huge bed and drift off to sleep.


	5. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit

Hey guys! Nothing too exciting happens in this chapter but you get to see a little of the brotherly dynamic between Stefan and Damon. I promise all of next chapter is just Damon and Elena. If you like the story please review, I LOVE FEEDBACK. Also! If you like this story check out my other fic Denial, it is a more lighthearted fic just for fun. Thanks for reading as always,

Emily

Black. Everything was black. And pain. I didn't feel it, but I knew it was there. I opened my eyes to see the car entering the water. There is screaming. Who's screaming? The cold water rushes in around me as I quickly look around the car. My mother and father in the front seat are desperately fumbling with the door handles trying to get us out. I sit catatonic as my brain processes what happened. The sound of rushing water is enough to recapture my attention. I franticly try to pry myself from the seatbelt, it's stuck. I try to open the door but it remains fixed in place. I lift up my elbow and slam it into the window as I try to break the glass to no avail. I look down at my hands to see my fingernails broken and bloody from scratching at the door. The water level was rising quickly and soft sobs were coming from the front of the car. My father kisses my crying mother and turns around to me and grabs my hand.

"I love you Elena. No matter what happens, we will always love you." He says with tears welling up in his eyes. I'm crying hysterically now as I hold both my father and my mother's hands in mine. We exchange watery glances and whispers of love to one another as the car fills further. Our hands remained joined, there is about a foot of breathing room left in the car. We all struggle against our restraints and our lungs search for air. We they take their last breath as the water fills the cab of the car. I squeeze my parent's hands a final time as I push my face against the roof of the car, the seatbelt cutting into my body painfully. Against the roof find an air pocket and inhale taking my last breath before I died. I let out a small gasp as I feel the water cover my face completely. I open my eyes to see my father and mother looking back at me. I know what this was, our final goodbyes. I hold my breath for as long as I can before I feel my parents grasp on my hand wane until they drop from my grasp completely. My lungs scream in protest, but I cannot hush their cries of agony. And suddenly I'm not aware anymore; I see nothing but a stark white color. Bright colors flash across it like lightning as I feel my body slowly shutting down.

I kick my legs and gasp in a deep breath. I can't breathe. For a moment I am disorientated and grasp the sheets beside me. My hands meet a thick finely made cotton bed sheet that is definitely not mine. My breathing is ragged and my cheeks have the remnants of tears running down my face. A new wave of hysteria ensues and I pray that my parents can hear me. _I should have died, you both should have lived. _I sobbed into my pillow and prayed for them to come back to me. Once my breathing had returned to normal, I leaned over and switched on the bedside lamp. The clock said 4:30 and judging by the darkness outside, it wasn't morning yet. I roll my eyes at myself; my sleep schedule is so jacked up as it is. This time change is just the icing on the cake. Since I know I won't be able to get back to sleep, I rummage through my suitcase until I find my slippers. I slide them on my feet and carefully make it out into the hallway. I try to be as soundless as possible out of respect for those with normal sleep schedules. I make it down the hallway and to the top of the stairs. With my brief experience with these stairs I have learned how squeaky they are. I quickly maneuver my way down them and into the general living area in search of a book. I sit on a couch facing the large window and watch the slow rise of the sun over the hills, the sky is painted with warm colors and I can tell that despite this morning, today will be a good day.

It was now 7:30 am and the entire house was still quiet. My stomach rumbled and I slowly got up from the couch stretching my limbs. I navigated my way back to the kitchen after a few wrong turns and decided I would cook one thing I actually knew how to properly cook, breakfast. I make a mental note to bring down the bottle of wine us to drink. I walk into the modern kitchen and chuckle at the entire expensive high quality machine's they have in here. I wonder if Damon does all the cooking. My heart beat embarrassingly enough speeds up when I think of the black haired, blue eyed douche that I met yesterday. I rolled my eyes as I walked into one of large pantries and grabbed a few dry ingredients. After scouring the kitchen, I have figured out where most things are kept.

I walk around the kitchen and open what must be the thirtieth cabinet when I finally find a griddle pan and put it on what looks like a top of the class convection cook top. I click on the gas and put it down on the heat. I grab a few lemons from the fruit basket and grate a small amount of zest into the pancake. _I wonder if there are any fresh berries growing outside?_ As the hotplate is warming up, I make my way to the garden near the home with a small basket from the kitchen. The sun is up now and it's still a bit chilly as I sift through the different plants. The grass is slightly dewy as it runs through my toes. I finally find a blueberry bush and a raspberry bush and pick a generous amount of the small berries off. By the time I return to the house, the grill is sufficiently heated and I drop the batter onto the flattop 3 by 3. I smile as I flip the pancakes remembering my Dad would always let me do that part. I grab the first plate and stack two pancakes; on top I scatter fresh berries. I was pleasantly surprised when I tasted them; they weren't burnt and were actually better than my parent's. I douse them with syrup and continue to cook until I hear the stairway creaking. The soft footsteps come down the hallway as I look up. It's him, the god. His black hair is disheveled from sleep and is flopping down on his fair face. His blue eyes look almost gray in the lighting. I fight the urge to run my fingers through his messy hair as he walks up to the breakfast bar. He is wearing a pair of cotton pants that sit low on his waist. He isn't wearing a shirt and I close my mouth so I don't drool. I almost allow myself to forget for a moment he is a dick.

"Good Morning Elena." He said politely and stretches out his arms. His chest and arm muscles ripple and my eyes hungrily rake down his body to where his slender hips make a v.

"Damon. Too good for shirts are you?" I said sounding on edge. I take a breath trying to regain my composure. He may be beautiful, but he is a douche! I chant in my head repeatedly.

" You tell me. Too good for normal PJ's?" He asks and widens his eyes suggestively and his perfect lips curl into a mischievous smile. I pull my sleeping cami down as well as my flannel shorts feeling very exposed.

"You are possibly the cockiest person I have ever met." I say as I roll my eyes.

" Honey at least I got the goods to back it up." He smirked as I set down a plate of hot cakes in front of him. He eyed them suspiciously and slowly took a chunk and brought it to his nose. I rolled my eyes and turned back to the pan.

"Good to see you haven't burned the house down. I'm pleasantly surprised." He says after a minute and says nothing more. He bites into the food and makes a strange face.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask.

"Well you sure as hell are no Paula Dean but I think I can stomach it." He says snootily. I really don't understand his attitude problems; he's so hot and cold all the time. I can't keep up with his mood swings. He is such a frustrating person to be around and I have known him for less than 24 hours.

"OH!" I say sarcastically, slowly getting more heated. "God forbid someone who was trying to make a kind gesture made pancake's that didn't come up to par with Mario freaking Batalli's!" I feel my face flush red.

He sits with his mouth slightly open and his eyebrows raised in shock. I took this as an invitation to continue, so I did.

"What? No snarky comment to make. Do you know how to speak or do they not teach you that in Italy?" I spit angrily, using his own line against him. This beautiful man evokes emotions in me that I haven't felt in a long time. Hate, passionate hate and attraction, really passionate attraction.

He regathers himself and lets out a low chuckle. "Well Ms. Gilbert it appears you have a bit of fire under that calm cool and collected façade of yours. If it wasn't so entertaining I actually might be insulted." He said appreciatively.

I feel all the blood rush to my face as I try to hold back what's threatening to come out. His blue eyes burn into mine and I feel so exposed. Me? He acts like I'm the one insulting him every time we speak! This man is delusional. Be the better woman. I think to myself. Instead of hurling another insult, I take a few deep breaths and calm myself. I give a normal conversation a try.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I have a bit of a temper sometimes." He raises his eyebrows, seeming surprised that I have taken the high road. A ghost of a smile passed his lips and I found myself smiling. "Okay… I have a really bad temper. I don't get mad often but when I do, it's thermonuclear." I continue.

I've been trying to hold myself together for so long and pushing everything I feel to my subconscious for so long that I didn't really feel anything at all. Anger was rare for me in the past few years, happiness even scarcer. And it took someone I have known for less than 24 hours to pull it out of me to see that. Maybe this is what I need, someone to take me out of my comfort zone and just really piss me off. I then remember I was in some semblance of a conversation and continue.

"You just seem to draw it out with your.…" I trailed off not knowing what to say.

"Beauty? Smarts? Humor? And that was thermo-nuclear?" he asks.

"Presence." I say and chuckle. He spears another pancake piece on his fork and shoves it in his mouth. They must not be that bad if he is still eating them. "And no, that was a small atom bomb." I say as I chuckle. "But you aren't totally innocent." I say, angling my head towards him.

"Oh I know I'm an asshole. I just like the reactions I get out of people. And from the three times I've talked to you, you have had nothing short of great reactions."

Is that why he acts like this? To get a rise out of people? Well I sure as hell have put on a show for him. I feel the blood rush to my face and I look down and flip the pancakes.

"I was joking by the way. These are pretty good. Meyer lemon is it?" Wow. He's good.

"Yea. How did you know that?" I asked suspiciously while looking around to see if I left one out.

He shrugs and takes another bite. "When I was young my mom taught me a few things. After she died I cooked through her entire recipe book multiple times." His blue eyes clouded with sadness and then he stopped talking, seeming to remember himself. I feel a pang of pain for my own parents; I know exactly how he feels. We both turn to the door as the squeak of the floor boards' draw our attention to the kitchen entrance. Stefan is up and is luckily fully clothed. Stefan's smile slowly fades into a pout as he sees Damon leaning over the counter in his lack of dress. I personally think shirts should be outlawed just so the world can see the sight that he is. Stefan slowly walks over and sits two chairs away from Damon. That struck me as odd, why did he sit so far from his brother? They must not have a good relationship.

"Good Morning Elena. Sleep well?" Stefan said brightening back up. Damon's penetrating gaze flicked to mine, he rolled his eyes and sneered.

"Good morning Stefan. I've had better." I said and instantly regret it when I see a thousand questions swirling around in his green eyes. "I'm still adjusting to the time zone" I add quickly and hope I escaped the fifty questions. What else was I going to say? No, I didn't sleep well because I dreamt about the time I almost died and I killed both of my parents. Fortunately, Damon cuts in before Stefan can say anything.

"Thanks for breakfast Elena. It actually was very good. Plus I can't remember the last time someone cooked for me. That's usually my job." I smiled shyly and averted my gaze elsewhere. Elsewhere happened to be Stefan, and again he looked like he had eaten something sour. He shovels the food in his mouth and nods approvingly.

"My dad is in his home office this morning Elena if you want to just wrap those up for him, I'm sure he'll find them eventually." Stefan said. I nodded and put a plate aside for Giuseppe.

"Hey Elena, I was thinking, I never got to show you around yesterday. I can show you the grounds today if you would like." Stefan said with a hopeful expression. My eyes flick to Damon, remembering his offer yesterday. I don't really know if it still stands after today's bickering but I know Stefan will be talking relentlessly for hours about nothing really of worth. He is looking at Stefan with an amused expression.

"Actually..." I said tenitavly. "I think Damon agreed to show me around yesterday." Damon looked surprised but quickly quipped at the crestfallen Stefan.

"Don't worry Stef. I'll show her all the special spots." For some reason that sounded extremely dirty. Practically everything he said had a double meaning and it threw me off every time.

"Oh." Stefan said in a monotone voice. He ran his fingers through his tall sandy brown hair.

"Stefan you are welcome to join us." I offered. It was one of those questions you offer to be polite but secretly pray the person will say no.

"Nah. It's okay. I have some stuff to do anyways."

Damon let out a snort and leaned closer putting his elbows on the countertop and looking back at his brother. "You don't do anything Stefan. Why don't you call Lexie and make a play date?"

Without a word Stefan loudly slid his stool back and stalked out of the room. They sure have a weird relationship for brothers, every conversation is deliberately competitive. I clicked off the cooktop and walked around the island plopping myself in the just vacated stool and swivel to face Damon.

"What was that all about?"

He chuckles and shakes his head. "You know how it is, new shiny toy that everyone wants to play with." I feel my eyebrows crease as I think about what he just said. Is that what I am?

"A shiny new toy? So is everyone going to get bored with me and cut my hair off when they run out of things to do? That's what I did with my Barbie's."

A smile stretched across his face as he laughed a real smile. All white teeth and his blue eyes alight with humor; I had never seen anything more beautiful in my life. For a moment I was stunned by his beauty.

"Of course not. Stefan is competitive about everything. Jobs, girls, sports, friends. He's just pissed you didn't drop everything and favor him. He'll be over it in fifteen minutes or so. And I'm sure I'll find another way to piss him off today and he'll do the whole storming out thing again. He's pretty predictable; when he isn't brooding and trying to find the meaning of life he is trying to beat me. It's a rare thing when he does." He said shrugging his shoulders.

I knew the nature of their relationship was competitive but that seemed a little far. Stefan has been very enthusiastic and kind to me since I have been here, is that only because he wanted me to favor him over Damon?

"I'm just going to clean this stuff up and will be good to go." I say nodding to the pile of dishes I had put off.

"Don't worry about it, you cooked, I'll clean." I nodded and stood up.

"Oh and Elena?" My name rolled off of his tongue and sent shivers down my spine. I felt the blood rise up to my cheeks. How embarrassing, I'm blushing because a ridiculously hot guy said my name.

"I suggest wearing some sturdy shoes."

I nod and walk to the staircase and into my room. I shut the door and go into my massive closet. What does one wear when their unbelievably hot host family's son takes you out to tour their gigantic manor? After a few minutes of indecision I finally pick out a blue cotton sundress with a brown belt. I let my naturally curly hair down from the ponytail it is in and put in a little more care into my appearance than usual. I don't know why but I do. That's a lie, I know exactly why, Damon Salvatore is why. But it's not like I can date someone I'm living with, Giuseppe wouldn't go for it and I'm sure I would be pretty uncomfortable being under the same roof with someone I'm in a relationship with._ Relationship? You met him yesterday! And he is an asshole, he said it himself._ The rational part of my brain yells at me. I shake my head of the day dream that was Damon Salvatore and laugh at how stupid I am. Just because you see someone good looking doesn't mean they are worth the time! I scan through the bags I have yet to unpack and put on a pair of brown toms I find on the top. I look in the mirror and smile, I have color in my cheeks and my eyes don't look completely flat. I look like a sicklier version of the old Elena, the happy Elena. Maybe Jenna was right, this is exactly what I need.


	6. Horsing Around

Hey guys! I hope you like this chapter! Thanks as always for reading! PLEASE REVIEW! I love hearing your opinions!

P.s- Don't hate me. Hate is usually the beginning of a love story, not the end of one. (Sound familiar? YAY for direct quotes from the show in this chapter)

Emily

I take the stairs two by two on the way down to find Damon already changed, sitting on the couch in the fireplace room. He is wearing jeans and a black tee-shirt that clings to his Adonis like body.

"Okay I'm good when you are." I say tenitavly. He looks up from his phone and his eyes run up and down my body. I stand awkwardly as I feel his gaze heat my body. I cross my arms trying to cover myself up, discreetly.

"Um hello. Up here!" I point to my face. He smiles suggestively as his eyes meet mine and puts his arm out as if I should lead the way. I walk to the backdoor and out into the warm summer air and close my eyes as the sun hits my skin.

"This way." He directs. He walks in front of me and I get the pleasure of watching his back muscles through his thin black shirt.

He leads me off the large patio and we walk along a stone path off the opposite way of the house to unchartered territory. The walk is lined with flora and fauna, and if I have learned anything about the Salvatore's in the past day, it's that they don't underdo things. There are flowers blooming everywhere, trees and vegetation everywhere. It gives the property a feeling of privacy and isolation, like you are on a private island. After about a ten minute walk we arrive outside of a barn. It has the classic red and white paint and a rustic and somewhat old feel to it but you can tell it's a new structure. He pulls open the large wooden gate and I am assaulted by the distinct smell of horses. I kick a small pile of hay as I walk in and feel like I'm back in Virginia. I hear a soft Winnie and I smile as we stroll to a stall. There are five stalls, each one filled with a horse. I stroll past most of the stalls and stop at one with a tall brown horse.

"Are these all yours?" I ask.

"Yep." He says popping the p. "My mother used to love horses." He said quietly. Sadness clouds his blue eyes for a second before it's replaced with an indifferent smirk is planted once again on his face. Must be a defense mechanism I think.

"Can I?" I ask, gesturing to the stall.

"Go for it. Her name is Abbey" He said.

I open the stall door and walk up the tall animal slowly. I had always loved horses; I had ridden horses competitively since I was eight until I was about fifteen so with them came a level of comfort. I stroked the silky mane of the horse in front of me; she had a shiny brown coat with white boots and was athletically built.

"If you aren't opposed to it, I'd like to start the tour on horseback. You don't exactly strike me as an outdoorsman." He says. He obviously thinks I have no experience. I smile politely and chuckle instead of hurling an insult at him which was at the tip of my tongue.

"Sure I'd love to."

He nods and walks over to where the saddles are kept and grabs two, throwing them on the ground. He walks across the aisle and opens another stall and takes out a large black horse. Black must be his color. He bends down to pick up a saddle and I am graced with the sight of him bending over in tight jeans. He slings one over his strong shoulder and throws it over the horses back. His hands grabbing the buckles and ties and twisting them. I can't help but notice he was doing it wrong. I start chuckling and he turns around with a bemused expression.

"Is there something I can help you with dear Elena?" he asks sarcastically.

"If you were to get on that horse right now, you would fall on your ass. That isn't hooked on right." I said pointing to the saddle wraps.

"Oh yea? What are you an expert?" He scoffed, rolling his eyes. And look at that, the douchebag is back.

"Yea, actually I am. I competed in Equestrian until I was fifteen. But go ahead…." I motioned for him to continue. He makes a face which I think is supposed to be an imitation. I take the other saddle from the floor and properly strap Abbey up. I grab the reigns and lead her outside of the barn through the big wooden door. Damon walks behind me with his horse in tow. I place my foot in the stirrup and gracefully hoist myself up. I adjust the reigns and the horse obediently trots in a circle. I smile and reminisce about the last time I was on a horse. I turn to watch Damon mount his horse. He places one foot in the stirrup and the other bounces off the ground to swing over the horse's back. As he transfers all the weight onto the holster, the saddle shifts underneath him and he tumbles to the ground violently falling right on his ass. The graceful, sardonic, beautiful bastard was lying on his back with a shocked expression on his face. That's what did me in. My body shakes with laughter. I let out a howl as he tries to quickly get up and dust himself off which makes me laugh even harder. Tears flow freely from my eyes as I try to stutter some semblance of a sentence out. "I…You! I…." I choke out and laugh even harder. My stomach hurts like hell but it is completely worth it. Eat shit Salvatore. I pull the reigns and Abbey obeys readily, I circle him slowly.

"I hate to say it. Actually I don't hate to say it; it warms my heart to say this…. I told you so." I pull on the harness and hop off. I pick up the saddle from the ground and place it on the horses back.

"Are you okay?" I asked, now serious. He scowled at me before fumbling with the belts again. I sigh. You think he would learn after one fall that he should let the master do it.

"Here let me." I say as I reach out. Our hands brush and I feel a surge of heat rush into my body. I swiftly pull my hand back and look up at him; he is looking into my eyes with a puzzled expression. I shake my head slightly and continue to work on the saddle. When I have it securely and safely tied it I hop back on Abbey.

"Can you get up all by yourself or should I get a step stool?" I ask innocently. He huffs and hops on his horse.

"So why did you quit?" he asked after a minute.

"Sorry?" I asked, not following the conversation, caught up too much in my own thoughts.

"Why did you quit riding?" he asked as we trotted along quietly, distancing us from the stables.

I chuckle and look up at him, he is a vision with the sun shining- his eyes look the ocean. I lose my train of thought. "Err what? I ask embarrassed.

"Why did you give up riding?" he asked with a smirk, almost as if he knew what I was thinking.

"Oh, um. The last time I was on a horse I was in the finals for a competition, I was going over the last steeple and she caught the front end of it, she was fine but I went flying. I fell and broke my wrist and got a pretty bad concussion that put me off of it for obvious reasons." I finished.

"Don't you wear those helmets though?"

"Yea but they aren't very protective; it's more for the image."

"You mean the preppy rich kid look."

"Exactly. Even with a helmet and my thick skull I managed to give myself brain damage." I joked. He chuckled slightly.

"So what do you want to see? This place is boring, we have a field of grass, and then we have some more grass to your left and then OH!" He said exasperatedly. "There's more grass and a couple of trees over that hill."

"Show me something cool!" I say excitedly. I have only been here about a day and I'm ready to explore.

"I hope you find olive oil manufacturing cool. Try to keep up Virginia." He says as he pulls on the bit and kicks gently forcing his horse to move. The last thing he needs is his ego to be fed, I would keep up. I gently kick Abbey and we move to a gallop and I feel a smile growing on my face as we move faster. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying myself. This was a nice clean slate, and I planned on taking full advantage. I made a mental note to call Bonnie when I got back tonight.

"So. Where are you going to work?" he asked as we slowed over the hill and stopped overlooking hundreds of rows of trees.

"At some place in town. A fashion label of some sort, Georgio Vernande." I say.

He chuckles and shakes his head.

"Uh Oh. Mysterious chuckle, what is that supposed to mean?" I ask.

"Just wait until you meet Caroline Forbes. She works there, and then you will understand." I commit the name to memory and wonder why she got the reaction she did.

" You lived in the U.S before living here?" I asked.

"Yep. We lived in Denver Colorado, when my grandpa died I was about four. We moved out here right away since my dad inherited the place. So why did you choose Italy?"

"Well I speak fluent Italian, also experience and variety. I've already lived in Bulgaria, so I figured it would be good idea to try out Italy."

"Do you speak Bulgarian?" He asked.

"Yes, I was born there and it was my first language. You can't really tell now but I used to have a really thick accent. I took Italian all through high school, then I took a few semesters of French too but I just started confusing languages and decided three was enough. I know the basic conversational stuff though." I chuckled.

"Avez-vous déjà été en France Elena?"(Have you ever been to France Elena?) He asked in perfect French, I was practically swooning.

"je souhaite" ( I wish) I replied. He nods; seeming impressed and slows down until his horse is at a slow walk. As we approach a tree he stops all together. He gracefully lowers himself to the ground and grabs the reigns and ties them around a nearby tree. I follow suit and hop off of the beautiful animal carefully. He ties my horse up and starts walking down one of the many rows of trees.

"So why do you know so many languages?"

"My parents believed in a well-rounded education, my mother was a high school English teacher and my father an engineer. I participated in a lot of things as a child, piano lessons, language tutors, ballet and, equestrian. You name it, and I have probably done it." I felt my good mood deteriorate at the mention of my parents.

"Sumo wrestling?" he asked.

I laughed. "Okay that's one I haven't gotten around to."

"I like you." He states. That was pretty forward and not to mention, flattering? What am I supposed to say to that? _Ohh trust me I like you too _I think.

"You know how to laugh." He said with a small smile on his face. I tried not to meet his gaze as my cheeks flush.

"What are these tree's everywhere? Olive trees?" I asked, switching directions of the conversation. Trying for light and not embarrassing.

"Yes. My family has been growing and producing olive oil for the past hundred years or so. We have around 1,000 olive trees on our property, and once a year we harvest them and then press them… and I'm boring myself talking, wow. I doubt you actually care about any of this." He said rolling his eyes.

"I don't mind. I just wanted to explore the grounds a bit. So what do you do for the rest of the year then if you only harvest once?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Well it takes a lot longer than a day. The whole thing is quite a process; you will get to see for yourself in a month or so. Other than that my dad manages the rest of the estate. We have a few vineyards so we sell our grapes to wine companies, Stefan is going to school and I just do things around the place. Really exciting life obviously."

"So you don't work?" I ask.

He shakes his head no.

"You don't go to school?" he shakes his head no again. "Then what do you do?"

"I cook. A lot. I want to go to culinary school and get my degree but my father doesn't approve. I'm supposed to be learning how to manage the house for when he dies." He rolls his eyes.

"How old are you" I ask.

"If you are thinking what I'm thinking, it would be totally legal don't worry." He said as he wags his eyebrows. Why does he always turn a normal question into some kind of innuendo?

I blush and look anywhere but Damon.

"Why do you say things like that?" I ask.

"I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable. That's not my intention." He said. I narrow my eyes at him. You don't need to be a genius to see that since I have arrived, he has been trying to make me feel uncomfortable.

"Yes it is. Otherwise you wouldn't put an alternate meaning behind everything you say." I snap back at him. He only grins and runs a hand through his raven hair. I casually put more space between the two of us in case he tries something.

"You're right Elena. I do have other intentions, but so do you." He says with a mysterious glint in his eyes. Screw being polite, I blatantly roll my eyes at him.

"Oh Really? Please, feel free to enlighten me on my own thoughts and feelings."

"Mm-hmm. I see 'em. You want me. I can't blame you, everyone does." He says cockily, adjusting his jacket. A brim of scarlet red rims my vision as he takes a step closer to me.

"Excuse me?" I ask, disgusted with his self-righteousness.

"I get to you. You find yourself drawn to me. You think about me even when you don't want to think about me. And right now... You want to kiss me." He says as he approaches me slowly until his body is only an inch from mine, so close I can feel his breath on my forehead. He reaches out and cups my cheek with his hand. His blue eyes turn a shade darker as he leans in, and parts his perfect pink lips. His eyes close in suspense and his long dark lashes settle on his cheek. And reflexively, my anger gets the better of my manors. My hand raises and makes contact with his face in a loud slap that shocks even me. His eyes snap open and his face scrunches up in confusion.

"What the hell?" I snap furiously. "I don't know what game you're trying to play with me, but I don't want to be part of it." I almost scream and stalk off to the tree to where the horse was tied. I hear the crunching of dirt behind me, aware he is on my tail and quickly mount my horse. I whip the reigns and soon enough am speeding back up the hill and over. I turn sharply left and gallop along for a few minutes. When my temper has cooled, I review the events that had just occurred. _He tried to kiss you!_ My mind yells at me. Why would he come on to me? Him and all of his blue eyed, black haired glory. What I really can't tolerate is his arrogance. He thinks he can get whatever he wants when he wants it. He really believes that he is entitled to whatever he wants! I wander as I ponder the thought. After a few minutes, I realize I had gone off the trail and have absolutely no idea where I am. I pull on the reigns when I atop a hill to get a better view of where I am. I see the manor sitting below me probably ten or so miles away and sigh knowing I have to go back. Abbey trots her way around a large oak tree and stops. Under the oak tree there is a headstone, the mound of earth is covered by flowers. Some are dried, while a slim amount looks fresher.

_Elizabeth Salvatore,_

_Beloved mother, wife and the best cook in Italy._

"_I'll follow you and make a heaven out of hell, and I'll die by your hand which I love so well."_

I felt my eyes tear as I read the Shakespeare quote my mother used to tell my father. I felt like I was intruding on the Salvatore's being there and turned around and galloped down the hill for the sake of their privacy. Giuseppe said it himself, they valued their privacy. I would know that quote anywhere, my mother was an English Teacher at Mystic falls High School and would force quotes on me all the time, my summer activities would be Shakespearean Plays. Bu this specific quote, she used to whisper to my father. They were one of those couples that loved each other just as much as the day they were married, I always thought I would have a love like that. I scoff, some people just weren't meant to be happy. I shake the negative thoughts out of my head and look up at the sun. It was descending in the sky; it was probably around three or four in the afternoon. As much as I would like to properly explore with a guide, I definitely wouldn't be doing that again. I wondered what was going to happen when I got back to the house, I guess I would have to spend the next four months avoiding Damon Salvatore, my house mate. At least I started work tomorrow. That would keep me out of the house and would give me the experience I came here for. I might as well have fun with the current situation at hand. I hold onto the reigns tightly and usher Abbey to go faster, she gallops along at a rigorous pace and I finally feel like I'm having fun. We race alongside of a babbling brook and she jumps across it splashing water up my legs, I smile largely and remind myself to make a habit of taking the horses out. For some reason Giuseppe doesn't strike me as a horse loving type. After about another fifteen minutes of riding, I see the beginnings of the barn. I dismount Abbey and run my hands through her main. I pull open the door and lead her through. The large black horse is already back in the stall and I roll my eyes at the thought of its owner. I look through the supplies piled by the stalls for some sugar cubes and grab a few to give to Abbey. She snacks gently from my hand and winnes softly appreciatively. I pet her shiny coat once more and remove the saddle, placing it on the floor. I close the gate and leave the barn, allowing the clean air to fill my lungs. I walk along the stone path and enter through the mud room in the back. I take off my shoes and make my way upstairs quietly. Once I am safely in my room with my door closed, I grab my cell phone and read the three texts I have from Bonnie.

_Hey! Lets Video Chat tonight!_

_I Want to see you! Where are you!  
Ahh! I Miss you! Text me when you are back from having fun without me!_

I quickly dial her up and tell her to facetime me.

"Oh my god Elena! Hey!" Bonnies face pops up on my phone screen. I smile at her familiar face and greeting.

"Hey Bon!" I laugh as I greet her back.

"Tell me EVERYTHING." She says. I sigh, I'm going to need a while.


	7. Bubbly Blonde's

**I was sick today and didn't go to school, hence this chapter. Please review! Love everyone, thanks for reading!**

**Emily**

CHAPTER 6:

Dinner was nothing short of awkward. My eyes stayed trained to my plate or across to the wall opposite of me. The few occasional glances I allow myself to steal at Damon he is scowling at his plate angrily. I feel a swirl of pride knowing that I had chipped at least slightly away at his overpowering ego. I ate very little wondering if Damon had poisoned the food, which is too bad because it was really good. I hate to admit it but he is a damn good cook. There were very few conversations, only Stefan, whom I have figured out, seems to be the status quo in this house.

"So what did you think of the ground? How did you like the tour?" Stefan asked, trying to sound disinterested. I feel a smirk pull at my lips and cough to hide the chuckle I let out. He doesn't notice so I regroup and reply.

"It was….perfectly adequate I think." I say with little emotion, leaving a small pause so I can mentally fill in the space with profanities.

Stefan's elation grew. He seemed pleased that Damon and I hadn't spoken to one another since we had sat down. I see what Damon meant now about competition. Competition! It all makes sense! Him trying to kiss me! Stefan trying to be all knights in shining armor! They are competing for you! I think, and try to swallow down the bile that rises in my throat.

"Giuseppe?" I ask quietly. His green eyes flick up to meet mine. As he takes a sip from his wine glass.

"Yes Elena?"

"I start work tomorrow and I haven't gotten around to buying a car yet. Would you mind giving me a ride? If it's too much trouble I can call a cab." I say quietly. Embarrassed that I am asking for something else from him, when he has already done me so much.

"Nonsense. I've said it before, let this be the last time I say it again. Everything and anything in this house is yours Elena. Use whatever you may like. Antonio is at your disposal as well as the multiple cars we own."

I nod and can't help but think of what a good situation I am in.

"Anything?" Damon's velvet voice asks. I look up and meet his hypnotic stare; his lips are set in a flat line with no trace of humor,

Giuseppe's gentle tone changed to a harsh one as he chastised his son.

" If you aren't going to say anything of value keep your mouth closed. Always the instigator!" This actually shocked me. Giuseppe spoke calmly to Stefan but anytime Damon said a word, he was reprimanded with disdain. I wonder why their relationship is so poor. I think.

I picked at my ravioli a little bit more before excusing myself, thanking Damon politely for dinner and retiring to my room. After a hot shower, I decided to unpack another bag. The massive closet looked better now that it wasn't so empty anymore. I pull out a black peplum blouse and a white and black polka dot skirt and put it on the large couch in the center of the room. I also toss alongside it a black blazer in case I get chilly. I place next to them a pair of nude pumps and remind myself to grab jewelry in the morning. I hopped into bed praying for a full night's sleep. I snuggle back into my bed and close my eyes.

I awake around 5:30 in the morning, knowing that I had another bad dream. I roll over on the larger than king size bed and sink into the mattress. I'm too tired. I sigh, same shit, different house. I flick on the light and squint as my eyes adjust. One look at the blinds and I know it's still early morning. I reach for the book that is supposed to be on my night table and groan when I find one isn't there; I guess I hadn't gotten around to unpacking one yet. I roll out of the heavenly bed and my feet make contact with the cold floor. I shiver as I move quickly to the closet where three of my massive bags still lay unpacked. I rummage through the miscellaneous bag until I find what I am looking for. I pull out a large volume book and scuttle back into my bed and back into the warmth. I run my hands along the familiar binding of the book my mom got me for my 16th birthday. I open up the collective publishing of all of Jane Austen's novels and skip through until I find Pride and Prejudiced. The pages in this section were well loved. Dog eared, folded and some crinkled from the tears brought on by Mr. Darcy's love and Elizabeth's pent up frustration and stubbornness. This clouded her own feelings, making her reject the man she loved. Misinformation is what it boiled down to. I flip to one of my favorite chapters and begin to read. Sometime I just want to slap some sense into Elizabeth, she caused so much pain that could have been avoided if she would just stop being so stubborn. She was my least favorite character I have ever encountered for sure. She was so busy with her own judgments she didn't see Darcy's point of view. He loved her, the man who thought he could never love, despite all the odds. Although she shut him down, he comes back for her again. Why didn't Jane Austen write my life? I slowly lose consciousness and dream of blue eyes and black hair.

A knock at the door wakes me up.

"Excuse me madam if I may enter" Damon's sarcastic voice calls from across the door.

"Really Damon?" I ask. He takes that as an invitation and slowly opens the door and I pull the comforter higher up on my body, effectively covering my short sleeping shorts and camisole.

"Good morning to you too sunshine" he says with a fake smile as he clasps his hands together. I roll my eyes.

"What do you want?" I ask my tone bitter and resentful.

"What do you think I want?" He asks in a sensual voice that makes me squirm. I tense about to strike back but he puts his hands up defensively.

"No, I actually wanted to apologize for being such a..."

"Dick?"

"Sure why not. There is no excuse. Except for I'm used to getting what I want, when I want it." He shrugs and his intense gaze burns my skin. HE WANTS YOU! My mind screams to me. I swallow and compose myself.

"Apology accepted. Don't try any more shit with me Damon. I've been here three days and all of your little remarks don't exactly have me knocking at your door." I say

"You do however have me knocking at yours. Fair enough. I'll do my best to not be a dick. Friends?" Is that what we were?

"Don't make me regret being your friend Damon."

" Okay. Also second thing, you are going to be late for work."

My eyes dart to the clock on the side table, it was 9:15! I have to be in town in the building by 10. I scramble out of the bed and run to the closet grabbing the outfit I had already laid out. Damon stands leaning against the door frame with an amused expression on his face.

"Get out!"

I yell and throw my slipper at him. He dodges it easily and laughs a musical laugh.

" I'll drive you today, my father went to do business with someone in town, he took Antonio with him." I muttered a quick thank you as I continued to run around the room gathering my things. He closed the door and I continued with my frenzy. I quickly used the bathroom and brushed my teeth and hair.

I strip into my underwear and dress myself. When I am finished I sit at the vanity and switch on the light up mirror. I quickly did most of my makeup and grab a nude leather bag and stuff my folders and notes in it along with my phone and a bunch of makeup and jewelry I didn't put on. Good thing I blow dried my hair last night; it hung perfectly straight past my shoulders. I picked up my heels and ran downstairs. I made my way to the front of the house to see Damon putting on a black leather jacket with keys in his hand. He let out a low whistle as he turned and his eyes appraised me, I don't have time for this I thought but embarrassingly enough I feel my face turn hot. He opens the large wooden door for me and I run out to the car sitting in the driveway.

"No, no. If you want to get there on time and I have to weave through traffic we aren't taking that car." He smirks and pouts to the opening garage door in the separate unit. Holy shit. The door opens fully revealing an Aston Martin.

" No way."

" Way" he says as we enter the garage. "Get in"

I follow his instructions and plop my bag in the front seat before stepping barefoot with heels still in hand into the outrageous car. I slam the door in a hurry and receive a dirty look for doing so.

"Sorry." I murmur.

He pulls out of the driveway area fluidly and books it down the private road. My hand grasps the seatbelt and I buckle myself in tightly. Damn this is a nice car, I think as I run my hand along the black leather interior. Uncle John would have an aneurism if he saw this car, he was a crazy mechanic.

"Thanks for getting me up and driving me. Probably not the best first impression to be late to a new job" I say. "There is no way I would have gotten up on my own, I didn't expect to be going back to sleep or I would have set an alarm." I said more to myself then him.

"Back?" he asks.

"Yea, I'm kind of an insomniac." I replied. I should probably leave out that I suffer from night terrors because my boyfriend tried to kill me, not exactly the best way to get to know someone.

I slide on my shoes and pull down the mirror from the sunshade and grab my purse. I dig through and find the things I didn't have time to do this morning. I put on a coat of mascara and a little bit of blush and put some diamond studs in my ears. When I'm done I grab a few gold bangles out of my bag and put them on my wrists.

As the county side grows more urban, Damon gradually picks up more speed. He is wearing a gorgeous full smile as he weaves in between cars in our lane and I can't help but stare at him.

"What?" he asks as he turns to look at me, swerving the car into the other lane accidently.

"Eyes on the road grandma" I reprimand. He laughs and passes another car. His profile is so strong and god damn he is good looking. I remember his question.

"You're actually smiling. You obviously love this car, who wouldn't? A friend of mine growing up had a DB 5, had a completely trashed transmission. It was a classic, really beautiful work." I would obviously leave out that it was my ex-boyfriend Mason's.

"You're into cars?" He asked with a shocked expression on his godly face. He rubs his chin and I notice the dark stubble growing in, I wanted to run my finger along his jaw but obviously refrained from it.

"I guess you could say that. I ended up rebuilding the transmission from scratch, beautiful car. I like fixing things", Ironic because I'm so broken.

He looked impressed. "I have a 1967 Camaro classic that I restored. That's my favorite to drive, but this is Molto bene!"

I glance at the clock and my stress level elevates 9:37.

"Shit! I'm so screwed! Who shows up late to their first day of work?" I whine.

"Relax, you will be there in 6 minutes" he says as we enter the town area. The hills and bales of hay have been replaced by beautiful shops and stores, the cows and horses have been replaced with stylish men and woman holding shopping bags walking up and down the streets. After running a few red lights and making a few illegal turns and receiving a few middle fingers, we pull over in front of an all glass building.

"Give me your phone" he says

"What? Why?" I ask as I fumble it and hand it to him. He programs something in quickly and hands it back to me

"Well someone has to pick you up. Call when you need. Hanno un piacevole primo giorno Elena. buona fortuna." He says in impeccable Italian. (Have a good first day Elena. Good Luck)

"Grazie" I thank him quickly and hop out of the car. I walk to the doors of the building and pull out my phone and read the email from Rebeka Salamanca , my new boss. My heels click along the marble floor as I approach the elevator. I click the button for the top floor and smooth out my hair and outfit in preparation. It is 9:47 and I am thanking god I am not late. When the doors open I am assaulted by pure white. White unstained flooring, couches and even flowers in vases. I approach the receptionist desk and a young girl who looks about my age looks up and smiles.

"Please hold so I can transfer you." She says and clicks a few buttons, hanging up the phone.

She is a cute red head and smiles a wide smile. I smile back at her. "Hello, I'm Elena Gilbert. I'm supposed to be meeting with Rebekah. Today is my first day." I say politely. She looks at me questioningly and I remember not everyone speaks English. "Ciao, sono Elena Gilbert. Dovrei essere incontro con Rebecca. Oggi è il mio primo giorno."

She smiles and nods, now that she knows what I am saying. "E 'un piacere conoscerti Elena. Io sono Vicky, Rebeka non è disponibile oggi così Caroline sarà in un momento. Lei è americano. "(It's nice to meet you Elena. I am Vicky, Rebekah isn't available today so Caroline will be out in a moment. She is American as well.)

I nod and she picks up the phone again and tells someone that I am here. The clicking of heels echo's through the hall behind Vicky. I small blonde haired girl dressed in a flowy sundress opens the glass doors and smiles widely at me. "You must be Elena!" she says excitedly. "I'm Caroline Forbes! And yes, I am obviously an expatriot." She said smiling. I automatically liked her, and I smiled back at her.

"Hi Caroline it's really nice to meet you." I said extending my hand. She shook it and led me behind the glass doors.

"Don't be intimidated by this place. I was in the same position as you last year. I did a semester here for study abroad, interned here and was offered a job by graduation. I live like twenty minutes from here and absolutely love it!" She squeaked out.

"Where did you graduate from?" I asked as we walked by multiple rooms keeping with the glass and white theme.

"Cal." She said smiling. I could tell by her blond hair and blue eyes she was a California girl.

"We will be working together a lot considering you are going to be pretty much my assistant. During that time, Rebeka will be reviewing you. Designers here work pretty much on their own but the company gets the money and I get commission." She rolls her eyes, obviously unsatisfied with her working policies. She continues, "My focus is making the clothes. Your job will be to get boutiques or department stores in the area to buy the clothing. You have an impeccable sense of style by the way." She said. I like Caroline; she could keep a conversation for two people going all by herself.

"Thanks! I'm really excited to be working with you! And it's nice to meet someone who has done exactly what I have done." I say as we stop outside of an office door. She opens it; it's a large flat that has been converted into a workspace. There are a lot of windows and the room is lit by the natural light. There are rolls of fabric lying across the metal tables and scraps of material on the floor. Nestled on the glass wall, pushed all the way back is an empty desk with a phone and a mac computer.

"Well this is it!" She says looking around her. "This is your desk, important contacts and other things are stored in a binder in the desk drawer and if you ever need help with anything, just ask me I don't bite." She says excitedly.

"This is just your workspace?" I ask. She smiles and looks around. "Pretty sweet huh?"

I chuckle. "It's amazing." I place my purse on the desk and walk around to the back. I plop down in the black leather chair and take a survey of what's in each drawer. On top of the desk is a packet of information and a company ID tag. I slip it on my neck and take the folder and notes sheet out and place them in the main drawer.

" P.s I know opinions aren't on the job description but since we are around the same age, and you know your ass from your elbow fashion wise, tell me if you don't like something." She pleads.

"Sure! Whatever you need me to do."

"Right now I just want you to get acclimated, in a few minutes I can take you around to meet the important people. The first week is mostly going to be just getting used to things, you'll probably be bored." She said frowning.

"It's okay, what are you making with that fabric?" I ask. She's holding a chevron pattered tan and black sheer fabric; she looks down at it then tilts her head.

"I don't really know yet. I need more range for my summer collection. I already have dresses, sun dresses, tank tops, shorts…" She lists.

"That would be an adorable maxi skirt with black fabric underneath it." I suggest and then stop. _She said my opinion, not to tell her how to do her job_. I think. _Shit, I hope I haven't offended her._

Her face lights up. "Elena! That's genius! I'll do a high low maxi skirt! It is going to be awesome working with you!" she said as she walked to a small table and pulled a tin of colored pencils and a sketchbook off the desk and pulled a stool towards my desk. She sits down and starts sketching. I figure I should try to get used to the system they have and log on using the company code they have given me. Caroline keeps scribbling away on her paper and occasionally asks a question. I take a stack of post it notes and put it with a pen next to my computer. I peel one off and write a list;

Get a calendar! Bring in a pair of comfy shoes for heel swap to keep in desk. Find nearby starbucks! Familiarize with clothing businesses in the area! When it's done I stick it on the computer and continue looking through the system.

"What size are you Elena?" she asks as she shades something in on her paper, not looking up.

"I'm a two. Why?" I ask as I continue clicking away at my computer.

"I'm going to need to use you as a model for my samples if you don't mind." She said looking up from her paper and switching her colored pencil.

"That's fine. Anything you need me to do to help you." I said. She scribbles a few more times before flipping the notebook towards me and asking me what I think. I had never understood how designers, draw things so detailed out of one simple idea. Caroline's drawing didn't disappoint, the sheer printed fabric looked very realistic and her design was very well made. I could see myself buying it in a store for sure.

"I love it. I would totally buy it if I saw it somewhere." She lets out a joyful squeal and gets up off of the stool. She pulls a manikin out of the corner of her workspace and drapes a sheet of white fabric around it which from my experience of watching project runway is going to become the lining of her skirt.

"So you are living with the Salvatore's right?"

"Yep. You know them?"

"Very well. I lived with them too. That is until I got my apartment." I was surprised to find that I wasn't the first that the family has sponsored; I wonder why they do it so often. I wonder if she could give me some insight into them.

"Did you decorate the room? Black and white?" I ask and she giggles. The room definitely had a woman's touch.

"Yep! I wanted a pink room but Giuseppe would have a stroke before he let that happen. How do you like them so far?" I stopped and thought about what I was going to say before I let anything slip.

"Giuseppe is a good man, quiet but very respectable and extremely generous. Stefan is chatty, but nice enough. And Damon is…..Damon" I say. She lets out a snort and reaches for some more pins.

"I don't know what Giuseppe you are talking about. He hated me. He was either quiet as the grave or yelling at me, there was no medium. I think when he quiet was actually scarier" she said. Hmm, he seemed very calm to me, except for when he talks to Damon. I smirk at the thought; Caroline's personality must annoy him.

"Stefan is a good kid. He's a little young and immature but he is a really caring and loyal person. We are still really good friends." I continue to listen to her character analyizations, but I really only want to know about what she thinks about him, Damon.

"I couldn't give a more accurate description of Damon then you did. He is sarcastic and nasty but most of all hurt. Stefan spilled the beans on Damon a while ago. His dad really resents him for some reason and can't even bare to look at him because he is like the spitting image of his wife." Caroline says sadly. She bears a pair of sheers and cuts a chunk of black cotton from a roll and continues draping it over the manikin. He's in pain that explains that look he had yesterday, the emotional front he puts up. He pretends like he doesn't care because he's hurting and doesn't want to show his weakness, we are a lot more similar then I thought.


	8. Cry Me a River

**Chapter 7..but 8 **

**OH MY GOD. DID ANYONE ELSE FREAK OUT ABOUT THIS WEEKS EPISODE? (4X19), THAT SHIT WAS OUT OF CONTROL. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF FOR A WEEK SO EXPECT A LOT OF UPDATES! GARHHHH! FRUSTRATION! Please review and thanks for reading**

**Emily!**

A few hours passed like this, we would alternate asking questions while both of us were doing our work. I could tell things would be easy with Caroline, we were quickly becoming friends. She babbled on about a lot of things, guys, clothes, magazines. We had a lot of similar interests. I would interject every so often but mostly I just listened, which was nice because it took the pressure off the conversation. I was actually really excited to be working alongside Caroline.

"Did they try anything with you?" I ask after a while of watching her work.

"Hmm?" she asks looking up from the skirt that had materialized in a matter of minutes.

"Stefan and Damon, did they try anything with you?" I asked as I skimmed through contact forms.

She shrugs her shoulders and sits down on a stool in front of a sewing machine, her long flowy dress pooling around her ankles. "Stefan was very persistent about trying to get into my pants. Once you shut him down a few times then him gives up." She says as she continues to stich.

"It's not really Stefan I'm having trouble with. He's been fine, it's really just Damon." The sewing machine clicked off and we were surrounded by silence. When she didn't say anything after a second, I looked up. Her eyebrows were raised and she was wearing a curious expression.

"Damon hit on you?" she asked seeming confused. I nodded and looked back at my computer to hide my embarrassment.

"Damn Elena, he must like you. The most I got was an insult when I passed him or just a laugh." She said with a small smile. She switches the machine back on and continues working.

"You should totally go for him." She said encouragingly.

"No way! He is an ass! He is hot as hell, but he's so entitled! Besides, I doubt Giuseppe would go for it." I said trying to convince myself of what I was saying. Oh trust me I know it's wrong, and his moods are so hot and cold, but damn is the boy beautiful. And his good moods almost make him like a normal person.

"Giuseppe doesn't really care about anything, and from the way you describe him it sounds like he likes you. And I know, Damon is smoking. I almost had a seizure the first time I saw him I was so blinded." She said giggling. I laughed at her forwardness, I felt like I had known her for years, not hours. She was a sweet girl, but I could also tell you didn't want to get on her bad side.

"Yea. I don't know what it is about him, but something seems to stick." I say thoughtfully. If he would just drop the "I don't give a shit about anything" act.

"I can name a few things! His eyes, hair, amazing style, and his model body." She laughs and I find myself laughing with her.

"Have you met the Michaelson's yet?" she asks as she moves from the sewing machine back to the work table.

"I have no idea who those people are so I'm going to go with a no." I reply.

"They live right next store to the Salvatore's, I'm sure you will meet them soon. They are some really nice people, Except for Klaus." She snarled and slammed down the scissors. "I hate that bastard." She continued on a tirade of how much she hated some man. I swiveled my chair around to face the glass wall and looked at the setting sun over the city. I checked my watch and decided I should call Damon to figure out my travel arrangements. I asked Caroline if she would mind, she didn't. I dialed him up on the office phone and picked up after a few rings.

"Salvatore cab service." He answered sounding bored.

"How'd you know it was me?" I asked confused.

"I didn't. I've been answering the phone like this all day. My dad was pretty pissed when he called." He said with humor into the phone.

I giggled and ran a free hand through my hair. "Would you mind coming to get me or sending Alfonso to come get me?" I asked politely.

"You mean Antonio?" He asks, amused.

"Alfredo, Alfonso, Antonio. Do you know how many people I have met today?" I asked, feeling very tiered at the moment. He chuckled.

"I will be there in a half hour." He said, putting emphasis on the I.

"And what's your name again? David?" I joked as I wound the telephone wire around my finger.

"I know I look like a piece of art work, but I'm no Michelangelo honey." He scoffs. I roll my eyes at his arrogance and hang up the phone.

I swivel back in my chair to face Caroline who is standing with the garment in her hands a few feet in front of me. She smiles and places it down on my desk. I pick it up carefully and hold it up, it is beautiful! She made the chevron patterned sheer fabric lay over a black mini skirt. The pattered cloth swooped down low in the back and came up to about knee length in the front. The waist was a black elastic band, it looked awesome.

"Caroline! This looks fantastic! How did you do this in a day?" I ask, awed by her proficiency and her multi-tasking as a gossiper.

"Please! I was multitasking so that was slow for me. And Good! Because I want you to have it!" she said smiling, jittery from the success. I looked back at her and shook my head, I hand it to her. She hands it right back.

"No Elena. This was your idea! I already have the measurements written down for the it and I want to make a different pattern to fit in better with the color scheme I have going in my collection. Also, I'm going to use the chevron idea in a sequined miniskirt for my formal collection. You are such and inspiration! I'm a designer, I make clothes. I rarely get to see someone actually wear them other than a fake person." She says as she points to a manikin. "Consider it part of the perks of the job; you are going to have a new closet when I'm through with you!" She says with her chin up stubbornly. I sigh, knowing it wouldn't be best to fight with my employer on my first day.

"Thank you Caroline. I love it, I do." I say defeated. She is my boss, what she says goes.

"No problem and by the way, I wasn't trying to eavesdrop but this is a small workspace and OH MY GOD YOU WERE FLIRTING WITH HIM!" she exclaims. I check my watch to see if I have any time to get out of this question. She must sense what I'm trying to do because she says "oh no missy I still have you for fifteen minutes." I put my head in my hands and groan.

"I wasn't flirting; I was just giving him a taste of his own sarcasm." I said innocently. Thankfully she dropped it but still looked suspicious. I helped cleanup her workspace and when we were done, we walked into the parking lot together. I thanked Caroline again and told her good night as I walked to the Aston parked in front of the building, she waved and got into her own car. That was a pretty good first day; the company was so relaxed about everything. The people were nice but I know there is no way I am going to remember all of those new names by tomorrow. I opened the door and jumped as I saw it wasn't empty. Damon was shaking with laughter as he looked up at me.

"Other side Virginia. You're not in Kansas anymore. European cars have steering wheels on the right side."_ There were a lot of states in that once sentence, somebody misses America_. I close the door, and walk around to the other side. It's actually a miracle that was the first time I had done that. I shake my head and open the door, "Is there anyone in this seat before I sit in it?" I ask. I hear a low chuckle and I get in, dropping my phone and bag onto the carpeted foot mats.

"Thanks for picking me up." I say as I settle into the luxurious car. He waves his hand to dismiss it and makes a U-turn and goes back the way we came this morning.

"Tomorrow you can take the Mercedes to work; we have more than enough cars to go around." He said. "How was the first day? Get in any catfights?"

"Yea you should have seen it; it was a naked pillow fight too." I said sarcastically.

"Wow Elena. Keep it PG. You in a fight, that's something I would like to see."

"And why is that?" I asked confused. I'm not really a fighting person, I haven't really been an anything person for the past few years. I didn't watch movies, I could listen to music and most of TV was too violent and brought back unpleasant memories.

"You are a fiery little thing. I wouldn't want to fight with you. That slap kinda hurt." I smiled at the memory. That was only yesterday when I slapped him. I can't help the laugh that comes out of my mouth.

"Well I'm not much of a fighter, but I can still open up a can of whoop ass on you. You haven't seen my punch yet." I say threateningly. He rolls his eyes.

"So speaking of cat fights, how do you like Barbie?" He says as one hand grips the steering wheel and he runs the other through his tousled hair.

"Barbie?" I ask questioningly meeting his gaze.

"Barbie." He explains. "You know. The Barbie, with the dresses and skirts and the high heels." He says waving his hands around. Caroline?

" You just explained every girl who has ever worked in the fashion industry that I have met today."

"Come on? Blondie!" he exclaimed.

"You mean Caroline? The girl you lived with for a year and you can't seem to remember her name?" I ask disbelieving. There is no way Caroline would take that, she has a strong personality. I don't see her and Damon getting along well.

"Well I wear skirt, dresses and heels and you don't call me Barbie." I prompt. Caroline does have the body and hair of a Barbie but for some reason I was left feeling insecure. Well not for some reason, I'm fully aware of said reason.

"You're different Elena…. You fit the description of a G.I Joe better." He jokes. I chuckle at him and shake the dark thoughts from my head. Twenty or so minutes later we pull into the driveway. I thank him and hop out, eager and in need of some nourishment and a bed rest. Damon and I walk side by side in through the main doors; I remove my shoes and carry them in my hands.

"We already ate dinner but I wrapped a plate up for you when you are ready."

As we enter the great room, there is a sound. I don't know what it is at first but it sends my body into waves of convulsions. I place the sound as my legs buckle from underneath me and I fall to the ground, gunshots.

"Is she okay?" I hear a concerned voice ask; the voice was smooth and reminded me of chocolate.

"What the hell did you do to her Damon?" another voice asked, demanding.

"Let's see. I drugged her, robbed a bank and gunned down a police officer. Obviously I didn't do anything jackass." The other voice snapped back.

"Both of you be quiet! You both will not say another word until she comes around, and even then. Stefan gets a glass of juice or something sugary. Also, grab an ice pack. Damon, I need you to lift her on to the coach." This man's voice quiets all the others. I feel myself being gently lifted from the cold tiled ground but my limbs don't respond at first. I am layed down on something soft and my fingers twitch. Slowly, I open my eyes and gasp as two bright blue ones are staring back at me. It was just Damon, I cover my heart with my hand and take a deep breath as my heart resets. He had just scared the shit out of me. He looks at me and his lips curve down into a frown.

"Dad!" he calls loudly. "She's up." I hear two pairs of footsteps rapidly approaching and close my eyes again.

"Hey fainty, open your eyes." He said, I can picture the smirk he is wearing. I slowly open one eye to look at him, yea he's smirking. I lean up on my elbows and push myself upright against the arm of the leather couch. I'm still a little bit dizzy but I'll be over it soon enough. He leans in and picks up a couch pillow motioning for me to move forward, I lift my back and he places it behind me.

"You okay?"

"Yes actually. I feel so alive!" I say sarcastically and he chuckles. Stefan and Giuseppe enter the room juggling a few things in their hands. Giuseppe is holding what seems to be a cold compress. He kneels down beside me, his face at my level and I can't help but blush. They are giving me too much attention and care.

"Is everything alright Elena?" he asks kindly. His expression is blank but there is concern in his green eyes.

"Yes." I say, trying to shrug it off as a common occurrence that happened randomly. "That happens sometimes. Usually if I drink some juice or have sugar I'll be fine." I say and Stefan and Giuseppe physically relax. They don't have to know that I had overheard them talking and that would have been the best way to get out of questions. Damon however crosses his arms and remains tense, his eyes are scrutinizing me. His lips form a slight pout as he watches me. I look back next to me where Stefan and Giuseppe are now standing.

"Here's some cranberry juice, sorry it's all we had." Stefan said as he handed me a glass filled with juice. I smiled and thanked him politely. I took a few sips from it for my supposed "blood sugar problem". _I wish the only problems I had was my blood sugar_ I thought.

" Well I'm sure all of us breathing down your neck won't be any help. We will leave you be. Here's a compress if you want to cool down. Holler if you need anything Elena." Giuseppe said considerately and pulled the unwilling Stefan out of the room. I relax into the couch as they leave, however I am not completely alone. I close my eyes and I feel a depression form next to my feet as Damon sits down on a cushion. I sit quietly trying to drown out the memories and feelings that threaten to brim over. Mason was right when he said he would always be with me, always watching me. I open them and look at Damon who is turned towards me, looking expectantly.

"So Elena, care to tell me the real reason you passed out?" he asked. Shit, there goes my cover story. How does one tell a family she has lived with for two weeks she has extreme panic attacks?

"Nicely deduced." I say in a monotone voice, trying to figure out what I am going to say to him. I exhale slowly and count three breaths before I look back up at him.

He speaks again, "Elena, who is Mason?"

My breath ceases and I whisper in response. "What?" I was losing my fresh start. I would be that poor girl again, the one people looked on with pity. I push myself deeper into the couch hoping that it will help avoid the question.

"Right before you fainted you said something about a Mason and hurting you." He said in a soft, tentative voice.

Tears gather is my eyes and I clinch my eyelids tighter so none of them escape. Eventually the inevitable happens. Tears spill over my closed eyes and run down my cheeks in hot streaks of shame. My body shakes with small sobs, my breath wheezes in and out of my lungs and I touch my aching ribs, still healing from the bullet that split them. I sat for minutes, in a bubble of my own personal hell. Just like every time I had these panic attacks. But this was different, someone was sitting beside me. Not asking what was wrong, not telling me everything would be okay when I knew it wouldn't be, staying silently next to me, letting me do what I had to do. We sit for minutes, saying nothing. The only sounds in the room my sniffling.

He pulls my feet up and scoots over closer to me. He places my feet on his lap and tickles them. I giggle through my tears and open my eyes. I brush the evidence of my weakness from my face with the backs of my hands. I shake my head, I'm so embarrassed.

"I'm sorry I..." I stutter, my voice hoarse from crying.

"Don't apologize Elena, never apologize. Do what you have to. Pretend like I'm not here, or I can leave. It's up to you." He said looking at me straight in the eye, blue to brown.

"You can stay." I say trying to gather myself unsuccessfully.

"You don't have to tell me you know."

Good. I don't think I was ready to tell anyone that story. Those stories. As mortifying as it was, it really was nice having someone beside me. No matter how many friends and family members I had, I had always felt lonely, misunderstood. I have spent so long feeling nothing, empty. I'm wasting my life away feeling sorry for myself, when I have a life. For some reason God chose me to survive over my mother and father, I was given another chance. I need to take advantage of all the close calls I have pulled through. I dry the last tear from my face as I sit up. In that moment I promise myself that from this point on I will not be that girl. I need to start going out, acting like the old carefree Elena from the best years of my life. These would be the last tears I would cry for myself.


	9. Gotta Get Down on Friday

This chapter is kind of boring, but hey you get to meet Klaus and the other brothers. In this story, Rebecca is not related to the other Mikealson's. If you like it, please review. Damon's p.o.v next chapter! Thanks for reading as always!

Emily

Thank god it's Friday. This week has been terrible. The days have gone okay but the mornings were enough to make me cry. Monday I was almost late for my first day of work. Tuesday I woke up with puffy crying eyes. Wednesday and Thursday my hair refused to cooperate. And today as I was walking out, my favorite heels broke. Explain to me how you just break a heel by walking? The entire outfit was based around the pop of the coral Louboutin's. I walk angrily back up the stairs and take my pants off. My sheer white shirt will do, and will be easy to match. I grab a pair of mint lace shorts and slide them on; I grab a pair of matching mint pumps and slide them on. I exchange my jewelry with coral accents to silver and grab a new purse. I am back out the door in five minutes and I slide into a sleek black Mercedes Benz. The steering wheel is actually on the left side this time and I roll my eyes as I sit in the driver's seat. I plug my phone into the aux system and enjoy a leisurely ride to work with the music blasting. I arrive in town with twenty minutes to spare so I scope out a Starbucks. I don't really know what Caroline likes so I pick her up and iced coffee and pick myself an iced caramel macchiato for myself. I make a mental list of the high end boutiques I pass to look into as potential buyers. Over the past few days Caroline has shown me a lot of her work, she is extremely talented for how young she is. I pull up in front of the glass building and grab my security tag out of my bag and put it around my neck. I grab the two coffees and a security guard opens the door for me, "Grazie" I smile at him. He nods politely. I hop on the elevator and head to the top floor. I open the glass doors and greet Vickie before making my way to Caroline's workspace. She is laying on the floor, stomach down drawing something on her sketch pad. She is up to her eyebrows in sequins. I chuckle and walk to my desk, dropping off my bag and putting down the coffee before I spill.

"Good morning Caroline." I say as she looks up. She responds with a megawatt smile.

"Morning Elena. Mmmm is that coffee?" she asks excitedly. I nod and bring both cups toward her.

"I didn't know what you liked so I got two and you can pick whatever one you want. This one is an iced coffee and this is a caramel macchiato."

"Despite what the "Devil Wears Prada" assistant had to do, coffee isn't in your job description Elena. But, I'll take the iced coffee because that's my favorite, and I have been here since five trying to get these god damn sequins on this god damn skirt." She says frustrated throwing a piece of sequined fabric to the floor. I handed her the coffee, that's exactly what I looked like without caffeine.

"If I don't have a coffee in the morning, everyone including myself will have a very bad day." I said as I took a sip.

I walk back over to my desk and check my professional email. There are a few emails from local businesses about possibly buying from Caroline's line. I print them out and file them in my drawer for when she is taking a break, she looks stressed out enough as it is. I open up a search engine and look up the businesses and jot down notes on their sale numbers and other important things. The last unread email is an itinerary for something, its un labeled and in complete Italian. I pull it off the copier tray and walk over to Caroline.

"Hey Caroline, this was just emailed to me. I would file it for you, but it isn't really specific on what it's for. It's some kind of itinerary of some sort." I say as I flip the paper in my hands and examine the paper further.

"Oh that's right I forgot to tell you yesterday. We kind of get to go to fashion week! That's my schedule for one of them. I have to go to get a look at the season's trends and change my line to fit the parameters. It is in Milan so we will have to stay a week over there at the end of the month. The company is paying for everything for us so we would be good. You would be coming of course." She said.

Damn, it's my first week into work and I already have an invitation to fashion week. "Perks" are what Caroline called them, and it seemed like I would have them frequently.

"That's so cool. I have been dreaming about going to fashion week since I was little." I say excitedly.

"Oh my god it's going to be so much fun. I think I'm going to die." She says dramatically. I chuckle at her

I walk back over to the desk and open it; I take out a new file and label it Fashion week and slip the paper inside of it. I rip off a new post it note and copy the date, and stick it on my computer. I had compiled quite a list in during the week and decided to get some of them done. My phone chirps from my bag and I pick it out, I have a text from Damon.

"**Stefan and I are going to the Mikealson's tonight, you are welcome to come." **

"**The Mikealson's?" **I replied. Not even a minute later, I get a response.

"**Are we having literacy problems again? They are my neighbors; they are actually around our age. But if you want to spend the night alone with Giuseppe then I understand." **I roll my eyes; the sarcastic Damon is never too far away. For as bad of a person everyone else thinks he is, he showed me more decency that night than I have ever been shown before. He didn't pester me, didn't ask me questions or say to get over it, he rubbed my feet. He stayed beside me when the thing I had been afraid of most was being lonely. He hasn't mentioned it since and I'm not exactly eager to jump into that conversation. I remember that promise I made to myself to try to be the old fun Elena, and with that promise in mind I reply.

"**Don't scare me like that. Okay I'll go with you guys if you don't mind." **Meeting some more people my own age would be pretty nice, especially some that live so close. This was my attempt to stick to that promise even though I would rather go home and try to get some sleep.

_Later that Night: _

A rap of knuckles on my door proved ineffective when Damon entered just a second after knocking. I sit at my mirror with my hair up in a towel turban and a fluffy white robe.

"What's the point of knocking if you are just going to come in anyway?" I asked annoyed, a minute before I would have been stark naked. "What if I was naked?" He shrugs his shoulders and wears a devilish smirk.

"If I see something I haven't already I'll throw a dollar at it." He said. Obviously, he wasn't the kind of man to spend the night playing checkers and reading books. He was hot, and had a sense of humor. Actually, I don't know if what he has is a sense of humor, more like sense of irony. I'm sure women threw themselves at him all of the time. After an eye roll I turn back to the mirror and resume putting my eyeliner on.

"So what's up? Or did you just come for the view." I asked, taking the turban off and shaking out my wet hair.

"Well I figured you would want to get there before this thing called the sun went down." He said, mocking me.

"HaHa. So what exactly will be going down tonight? I need to know if I should wear my knee pads and bring a helmet or if I'm good with sandals."

He chuckles and walks over and plops himself on my bed.

"You'll be fine, it's just a barbeque. But definitely get out the knee pads; we can use those for something else." He said suggestively. I looked in the mirror to see him spreading out on my bed completely.

"Get your mind out of the gutter. And get out of my bed; I'm not ready to get hepatitis yet. Maybe next week." I reply cloyingly sweet. As annoying as he was sometimes, the banter was fun. And his comebacks never cease to entertain me; he never seemed to run out of things to quip back at me. He smirks at my comeback and rolls out of my bed which is now disheveled and will have to be remade.

"Alright I'll go. Just try to be ready in a half hour. If Klaus eats all the good stuff I'm holding you personally accountable." He said looking seriously at me as he closes the door behind him. I slip on a pair of white denim shorts and a blue and white finely striped button up. I leave a few buttons on the top open and tuck the shirt into my shorts. I step into my white lace toms and take a pump of gel and run it through my already curly hair. Looks like I'm going natural again. I grab my sunglasses and my phone and go downstairs. Damon and Stefan are putting on their shoes by the front door and turn as I walk down the stairs.

"Hey Len!" Stefan exclaims. I cringe, my parents used to call me that when I was a kid, I had always hated it. Now it's even worse.

"Hey Stefan. Damon." I nod.

"Ready to go? Or do you want to get your nails done first Steffie?" Damon asks rolling his eyes at his brother. He opens the large wood door and we step out onto the walk. He clicks the keypad and the car chimes.

"Can we take the Aston again?" I ask excitedly. Damon frowns and chews on his lip for a second.

"You've been in the vanquish? Damn. I haven't even been inside of it; all I'm allowed to do is look through the glass." Stefan says awed, turning to his brother who just shakes his head.

"That's because you don't have a refined taste in automobiles like us. And since its only two minutes away, there really wouldn't be a point Elena." He said, caressing my name. Us. I like the sound of that. Damon climbs into the driver side of another one of their many cars, this time a jeep. Stefan motions for me to take the front and I hop in. We pull out from their private road and onto the main road.

"So are you sure I'm welcome? You guys don't have to feel like you have to tote me around everywhere." I said feeling guilty if that's what the case was. Damon pulls into another private road and continues down it.

"Please. Klaus freaked out when he heard there was a beautiful new girl in town. This is my warning, don't let him get his greasy fingers anywhere near you." Damon says looking at me quickly and then looking back at the road. I turn to look out the window to hide my blush, he thinks I'm beautiful. Wow, I'm such an insecure mess, I just freaked out because one guy thinks I'm pretty. I snort at the way he talks about his so called friend. This Klaus doesn't sound like much of a good person to me.

"You guys sound close."

Stefan cracks up and Damon smirks. "He's not a bad guy; he just gets a little excited around women." Stefan said, supporting his friend. You could tell Stefan was a good and loyal person who rarely spoke ill of anyone. I look at Damon to find we are wearing matching smirks, the irony of Stefan saying someone else gets excited. Still I'm not sure; I guess I'll just have to see. The drive to the Mikealson's house was much different than the Salvatore's. Instead of rustic and homey, this seemed elegant and stiff. The car slows as we pull up to a massive wrought iron gate in front of their home, check that, mansion. This was no piece of history, it looked brand new. I bet the inside still smelled like paint. The mansion was bigger than the Salvatore's for sure. It had at least three floors of wide windows and was landscaped to perfection.

"Damn." I said under my breath. What have I gotten myself into with all of these people; they must be in the mob. Don't get me wrong, I had always lived comfortably. I had never really wanted anything, my family took frequent vacations, we had our own lake house, and I wore expensive clothes but I had never been subjected to this kind of wealth. It didn't make sense to me that people could actually have this amount of money. We climb out of the car and bypass the front door and instead go for a large gate on the side of the home. We follow the stone path past a huge bed of blooming flowers and trees with small white flowers hanging from its limbs. The impossibly green grass is in stellar condition so I pull off my shoes and walk in it. Even the walk is pristine, in a minute or so we come to the main area. A covered patio spans the entire length of the back of the massive house. Just beyond the patio is a tiled area leading into a large walk in pool. Behind that is a pool house that was probably the size of my house in Mystic Falls. The flora and fauna is continued almost to an overwhelming amount throughout the backyard. The house was situated atop of a hill and overlooked miles upon miles of greenery. This place is absolutely beautiful. On the far side of the patio is an outdoor kitchen unit where a group of guys are standing by. I let Damon and Stefan take the lead and I follow close behind them. As we near, one of the men turn and shouts at Damon.

"Damon! Stefan" The man shouts in a strange European accent that I can't place. He has dirty blonde curls and is pretty tall. The three other guys turn and wave as we approach.

"Hey Klaus. Guys how are you doing?" Damon says with a slight wave. Stefan does the same and I just stand there awkwardly. Damon seems to remember his instilled manors and gently grabs my wrist and pulls me forward. The group walks forward to meet us at a large patio table. I try to ignore the way his hands feel on me. _Ahh so this is the infamous Klaus. _I think as I look at the man before me. Was everyone here good looking? Literally everyone I have met could work as a model; there must be something in the water supply. His green eyes look me up and down and I feel extremely uncomfortable.

"Guys, this is Elena." Damon says bored.

"Elena that is Finn, Kohl, Elijah and..." he is cut off by Klaus who seems to be putting on the charms.

"Klaus. Mikaelson. Save the best for last naturally." he said with a mischievous smile as he cocked his head to the side. I accepted his extended hand and firmly shook it, "Elena Gilbert. You seem very... sure of yourself." I said and then snapped my mouth closed. I was supposed to think that not say that! I've just met these people and I have already insulted him. Thank god they all had a sense of humor; a few of them chuckled but Damon and the one named Elijah (I think) were full on laughing. Klaus just looked at me with a small smile, his eyes however danced with amusement.

"Please, speak your mind." He says sarcastically.

A still laughing Damon walks over to Klaus and slaps him on the shoulder.

"Don't worry. She's been putting me in my place all week." He says still chuckling.

"You got a bit of fire. Don't you?" he asks me. I feel awkward standing here while there are four other people I haven't introduced myself to yet, listening in on a conversation. I haphazardly avoid the question and turn to the next person.

"I'm sorry; I must have forgotten my nonexistent of manors. I promise I won't berate anyone else, I've reached my limit for the day." I joked, trying to make light of the situation. "I'm Elena." I say as I walk down the line shaking hands. All of them have the same hazel eyes and strong facial features, and once again all of them could be models, they must all be brothers. They all greet me warmly and kindly and we move to sit down at the table. _So much for deciding to be socialable _I think. Stefan walks off with the shortest of the brothers whose name was Finn over to the grill. I settle into the comfy padded chair and answer the typical questions. Where are you from? How old are you? The usual stuff, the only things that stray from normalcy usually come out of Klaus' mouth. He walks a thin and interesting line between being offensive. He gives himself more credit than he deserves and speaks highly about himself. I can't decide if I like him or not, I guess only time will tell. My favorite of the brothers is no doubt Elijah; he is kind and sweet and reminds me of Matt at home.

" Elena, how do you find the Salvatore house?" Klaus asked another question. Could he not tell I was getting tired from this?

"It's great. Everyone has been very hospitable, I love it." I reply, trying to feign interest in the conversation, he however doesn't get the hint.

"So Elena? Any young American boy waiting at home for you?" he asks and the table quiets. All of the side conversations stop and everyone looks at me; I'm furiously blushing and reply.

"Nope."


	10. Bitches and Burgers

*****BEHOLD! Damon's point of view! GASP! I know, he is just so fun to write because not only is everything he says hilarious, later on when I do another one of his POV's you will see a drastic change in his thoughts and actions. Let me know if you want some more of his POV. And it's been brought to my attention there is no Starbucks in Italy… which is unfortunate because I freaking love caramel machitto's and it's my dream to drink one in Italy. So just for the story's sake and the preservation of my dreams, let's pretend there is one! Tell me your thoughts and likes/dislike below so I can make the story better! Thanks for reading as always!

Emily

Fuck. That was one detail I don't plan on disclosing to Klaus, Elena was completely single. Far too single, for her own good and mine for that matter. Things would be a lot easier if she was ugly, taken or was some species of whale. But she wasn't, she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She was practically a goddess and her body was no humpback whale. She was smart and quick and oh, we live under the same roof. And it was f I've learned anything about girls you look at them once and smile, that's it. Then she is in control, and if there is anything a woman wants more than chocolate and ice cream, it is control. If they don't come to you, they aren't worth the time.

"Nope." She said confused.

I look around the table and bite back a laugh as Elijah shakes his head disapprovingly at his brother's forwardness but still seems to be listening intently, everyone seems to want a piece of Elena. She has that look on her face she gets when she's thinking about something. I can tell by that look she gets on her face every once in a while when she with new people and a lot when she is with me. I can tell he makes her uncomfortable; he makes most of the female population's skin crawl so it's no shock to me. Trust me, I like making Elena uncomfortable, she says and does the most unexpected things and it's funny. But Klaus was going about it all wrong and was just plain creepy about it. He really isn't that bad except for his lack of social cues and his disregard for other people's feelings, good thing his godly good looks redeem his poor qualities. _Oh wait that's me I just described_. I think. I watch her practically squirming under his gaze and I feel bad for her, which is something I don't really do. She just looks so fragile and so god damn beautiful sitting there. And guess what, call a press conference. I feel for her, she isn't like the rest of the women I know. She's all about analyzing everyone else character it made me want to look into hers. Yes, she undoubtedly has fire, has no filter and says exactly what she's thinking. You can tell she is insecure by the way she holds her body, unrightfully so. She is so beautiful and she doesn't even know it. But underneath her independent persona, she's just a broken girl who has compassion and kindness. I don't know the specifics but I know that someone named Mason is responsible, that was clear enough on Tuesday when she was in hysterics. _Why do you care?_ I ask myself_. I don't, I_ reply and then realize I'm having a conversation with myself.

She must sense my gaze because her bottomless brown eyes meet mine and plead for help. What the hell? This will be my community service for the year. I look back at Klaus whose eyes are practically undressing her. His eyes are lingering far too long on her chest area, I kick his shin and he doesn't even flinch. _Save your English sausage for the queen_. I'm feeling a lot like Liam Neason in taken, saving the girl from being a sex slave as I push my chair back and stand up.

"I'm going to get some drinks. Anyone want? Elena?" I asked casually, nobody needed to know about my rescue mission. Plus, I kinda wanted to talk to her.

She nods her head and shoots up from her seat. Klaus asks for a beer and I walk over to the kitchen unit and open the full sized fridge. It was filled with meat and bottles of beer almost exclusively.

"Beer?" I ask, sensing her close behind me.

"Sure." She says coming up next to me and running a hand through her long brown hair. The sun was catching it just right making it look gold.

"Thank you by the way. I had to get out if there before he asked me what color underwear I was wearing and what brand of toilet paper I prefer." She said leaning up against the granite counter area. I try to get the image of her in her underwear out of my head, at least until later. This is what I like about her, she's got personality. I pop the top off of the beer and move to hand it to her before pulling back.

"Can I see your ID please? If I remember, you aren't 21" I say annoyingly, I'm pretty sure she is twenty. _Legal _my mind tells me.

She rolls her eyes and takes the bottle from my hands; she takes a long draught from it and places it on the counter. I pop one open for myself and swallow a mouthful. I cringe; I much prefer the taste of Bourbon, even the expensive beer just doesn't stack up.

"So what do you think? Have all your hopes and dreams come true in meeting the famous Klaus."

"He doesn't exactly strike me as a lady-killer; he however thinks he is one. He's made that point pretty clear. I honestly don't know what's going on over there. But I do know one thing; if I'm going to go back, I'm going to need something stronger to drink." She says as her soft lips pull into a perfect smile that could blind any man. I do my best to not appear affected.

"Pick your poison. I am also known as a lethal substance and am willing to be at your disposal." She looks disapprovingly at me and I chuckle.

"There are shot glasses in the cabinet." I say pointing to a small cabinet. She rummages through it and pulls one out.

"I don't care, something strong." She replies, shrugging. I hold back another innuendo that is on the tip of my tongue and move across the way to the cabinet.

"Tequila it is!" I say as I shift bottles around in the cabinet and grab a good bottle of tequila.

She hops up on the counter and sits with her legs dangling. I feel the urge to run my hand up and down her mile long tan legs, but I resist and busy my hands pouring a shot and putting it on the counter. I push the salt shaker and small bowl of lime wedges towards her. She licks a small spot on her wrist and pours a small mound of salt on it. She licks it off and tips back the shot glass. Her nose scrunches up as she swallows the shot and bites on the lime wedge.

She hands me back the glass. I fill it up as hand it back to her. She pushes it back and shakes her head.

"Drinking alone is pathetic. That one is all yours." She just explained the last four years of my life as pathetic.

_Why the hell not?_ I think as I swallow without a flinch.

"Damn." She says appreciatively. "Boy can swallow." She says smirking. Did Elena Gilbert just make a sexual joke?

"Gasp!" I say exaggerating. "She has a sense of humor! And a dirty one! If I have to get you drunk to see this all the time I will." I say, enjoying this new side of her. She chuckles and hops down from the counter.

"I'm not drunk, I'm only going to take one more. Not a great first impression to be drunk. Gotta keep it classy."

"Per usual." I agreed. "You should be on the floor after one shot."

She smiled that beautiful smile, "I have a really high tolerance. I'll show you sometime. I used to be quite the partier, my personal record is ten." She says proudly. There is no way she can take ten shots and still stand up without the aid of a person, wheel chair or stretcher. She was too slight.

"No way. I don't believe you." I replied shaking my head to emphasize my point.

"Come on! I totally can. Why would I lie about that?"

"I don't know you tell me! I guess you'll just have to prove it sometime." I said and extended my hand to shake on it. She eyed it speculatively and then shrugged.

"Deal." We shook on it. Her small hand fit perfectly inside mine and I let her go. I always found myself wanting to touch her flawless skin. But I couldn't, I couldn't get too close. And I surely couldn't sleep with her despite that I wanted to like I had never wanted another woman before.

After a shot more each Elena and I make our way back to the table. Stefan had pulled the burgers off the grill and had put them on the table. I was hungry as fuck so I sat my ass down and grabbed a burger.

"Where's my beer mate?" Klaus asks, and I turn back to look at where I just came from. His beer was sitting on the countertop and god knows I wasn't going to walk all the way back and get it.

"You Englishman are so entitled. You're going to have to get up off your ass and get it yourself. Mate" I say mockingly, he chuckled at me and stands up. I violently take another bite and chew. Ohhh sustenance, sweet sustenance.

I feel eyes on me and look up; Elena is looking at me with disapproval written all over her face. Her burger is cut into quarters on her plate and she has a small section in her hand.

"Is there something wrong Elena?" I ask stuffing more hamburger in my mouth obnoxiously.

Her lips twitch is amusement as she struggles to maintain her stern look.

"You eat like an animal. I'll probably vomit if you do that again."

"Are you sure you don't have alcohol poisoning? You took a whole sip of a shot back there." I said riling her up.

"Why does no one believe I can hold my liquor? I could drink you under the table Salvatore."

I chuckle and my eyes move from her face down the table, everyone is either eating or in conversation. Everyone but Klaus, who is staring inquisitively at me. I shift the focus, "so Klaus? Care to have me take you in poker again?" I ask competitively and he sneers.

"You are on mate" he says and begins clearing a portion of the table.

Elijah retrieves poker chips and a few card decks from inside the house and lays it down. Klaus takes shuffle as I set out the chips.

"Do you play poker miss Elena? Elijah asks, I roll my eyes at his propriety. My version of proper is yo bitch ya play poker? Then I remember I am also a dumbass and move on.

"Not really but I know the rules a little bit. My parents used to go at it hard at every family function." She said with an almost imperceptible smile, must be reminiscing or something.

We are all dealt our cards and the chips and I pick mine up. I get nothing and quickly fold. Actually everyone put Finn folds. I roll my eyes as he grabs the six chips from the middle with a cocky smile; the young ones just don't get it. The next hand I pull a pretty solid straight and set about fifteen chips in. I look around the table and smile as Klaus has folded. He is usually the only one who gives me a run for my money. Finn sighs and throws his cards down, Stefan puts in eight chips or so but doesn't look very confident. If he had anything good he would be beaming, he has a nonexistent poker face. Elena is the only one left, she looks uninterested as she pushes chips to match mine into the center and plays with her hair disinterested. She looks back at me and raises her eyebrows. I cock my head at her; she either has a damn good poker face or has no idea what she is doing. I go with she has no idea.

"Flip em Salvatore." She says. I toss my cards her way and sit back.

"Straight. Not bad. But not good enough." She bated as she threw her cards my way, full house. Damn, the girl had a killer poker face. She cocked her head back at me with a small smile as she raked the chips her way. The game went mostly like this, me staring her down until she flipped her cards. Finn, Stefan and Elijah were quickly knocked out. Klaus was doing his best to keep up but he was also knocked out. The table stood divided now, most of the group behind Elena and Stefan behind me. This had been going on for almost an hour. Her expression was imperceptible and I knew she had DEFINETLY played this game before. We are dealt our cards again and I draw mine in. Shit. I have a pair sevens and the rest scattered. But by the small smile on her lips, I think she has less than me.

She smiles cockily and asks "So what do I get if I win?"

The setting sun throwing a shine on her hair and making her eyes sparkle, it almost hurt to look at her. What should I tell her? _Sex, a lot of it._ I think and shake the dirty thoughts from my head. She had to be bluffing, so I'll go big so when I win she will reciprocate. "Okay. I have it. I will let you drive the Aston if you beat me." An audible gasp is heard around the table. Everyone knows I love that car almost as much as life itself. "I expect something just as good now." I finish. She nods and stays quiet for moment thinking.

"Okay. I will rebuild and replace the transmission on that '67 Camaro." That's a pretty good deal; the Camaro needs some serious work.

"And, ill wash and wax it." She said.

"Okay deal." She nodded her head and flipped her cards. _ Fuck me. _Four of a kind. I throw down my pair angrily; she beat me fair and square.

"So when can I drive your car?" she said excitedly with a gorgeous smile. I grumble under my breath but I have to admit she put on a show. I'm sure I'll still be sore from my loss tomorrow that's how much of a sore loser I am.

"A time and place of your choosing, you won fair and square. I call bullshit on you never playing before." I narrow my eyes at her and she shrugs.

"What's a little bluff? You won't underestimate me again." She says confidently. Everyone else chuckled and congratulated Elena. Stefan high fived her and then ran off to grab everyone beer. Elijah cleared the cards from the table and put the chips away. After we all sat down we each broke off into separate conversations. All but Klaus, who was staring at Elena deep in thought while leaning his temple on his hand. I didn't like the way he looked at her, like just a piece of ass. I'm not going to lie, when I met her that's all she was. But the more I learn about her the more I see she isn't just a love and leave kinda girl. She was too good for that. That doesn't stop me from wanting her, not one bit. It did however stop me for going for her. But that didn't mean I couldn't flirt with her. After an hour or so more of comfortable conversation, I wanted to be home. It was starting to get colder as the sun went completely down and I felt bad as I watched Elena's slight shoulders shake from the cold. I try to give her my jacket only to remember I left it in the other car that was my poor attempt at chivalry. All the while I was trying to subtly throw hints at Stefan that I wanted to get the fuck home but he is a dumbass and doesn't know the difference. After Elena excused herself to use the bathroom I spoke up.

"Hey guys we are going to head out."

"No problem mate. And let Elena know she is always welcome. I might stop by tomorrow to see her if you don't mind." Klaus said in that sickening accent. I hold back the eye roll and try to come up with an excuse.

"We are going into town tomorrow. That and I think she is a lesbian. So I'll tell her to give you a call, you are a pussy after all." I laugh in my head at my own joke, I delivered it straight faced. Elena walks outside at the perfect time. I smirked at the stunned Klaus and walk out the back grasping the keys in my hand and a broad smile on my face.


	11. Late Night Snacks

Back to Elena's POV, just in case I didn't explain it enough this is the first of two (Violent) mason encounters, the other will come at a later date. This first one, because of it she breaks up with him and gets a restraining order, the next encounter will be in a few chapters and is the worst part of the story in my opinion. I know it's not a joyous occasion… but I promise there are some solid Damon and Elena bonding moments in this chapter. Let me know how you are liking/disliking/ hopefully loving this story! Thanks as always! PLEASE REVIEW

Emily

I remember our first kiss; he was taking me back to my car after we saw a movie, it was our third date and things were going really well_. "You're a pathetic piece of shit." He screams as I cower under him,_ _still on the floor from when he hit me. _ His hand intertwines with mine and I smile and look up at him. His smile goes all the way up to his eyes. "So what did you think?" he asked. I shrugged; it probably wasn't the best movie I had ever seen but I still had a lot of fun with him. _ "Get up. How long have you been sleeping with him you dirty whore?" he barks angrily._ I pull my hand from his momentarily as I dig through my bag and pull out my car keys, it chirps open and I stop at the driver's side. "Thanks for tonight, I needed some time to just have fun." I said and he smiled. He leans in slowly and I feel my eyelids flutter closed. His lips assault mine passionately and I reciprocate more gently. I remember thinking that I would be telling our kids that story one day, about our first kiss. Now it was nothing but a pipe dream.

My body was curled into a ball, aching everywhere. Every kick, slap and punch reverberated in my seemingly hollow body. I would have thought my heart would have stopped beating by now but I hear the thunderous pumping in my ears. I couldn't move or even begin to process what had happened. An hour ago I was sitting in the Mystic Falls grill holding hands with my boyfriend. An hour ago I ordered a drink and smiled at the bartender. Forty five minutes ago, Mason dragged me out into the parking lot a furious mess; I had never seen him so angry. A half hour ago, he was screaming at me in my empty house, throwing glass. Fifteen minutes ago, he scratched my face using a piece of shattered glass. Five minutes ago, he broke my heart. How much an hour can change? A mere sixty minutes, I didn't understand until now the significance an hour can have. _Only sixty seconds in a minute. 3,600 seconds in an hour_. I think idly as I stare at the bottom of his work boots which remain planted on the floor. My face layed against the tiled kitchen floor, the cold was the only reminder that this was reality and not some harsh nightmare my brain conjured up. I never thought before how precious a second was, how valuable a minute was and how someone's fate could be changed by an hour. My legs don't move, I don't get up and run for my life like I know I should. My teeth stay clenched and don't scream for help like I'm praying they would. My eyes stay trained to the floor, I count the seconds of silence. I get to thirty six seconds when his boots move towards me, squeaking the floorboards. I feel a paradigm shift as I watch his two shoes walk closer to me, leaving behind the memories. The love, appreciation and admiration, he chose to walk away from it. Instead, choosing the darkest of paths, walking with open arms into a world of pain, with me at his feet.

"Are you deaf as well as dumb bitch? Get up Elena or so help me god, I will…" He trails off, probably thinking of some brutal punishment. Sensation rushes back into my body as well as coherent thought. Like a newborn baby deer, I stand up trying to keep my legs from buckling from underneath me.

"What are you going to do that you haven't already done?" My voice comes out as a hoarse whisper. I am not weak. I will not let you affect me. I will not give him the power. My voice grows louder as I shout at him. "You have taken everything I have Mason. I'm going to tell you what you WILL do. YOU WILL GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE! YOU WILL STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE AND YOU WILL BURN IN HELL!" I scream, emptying my lungs and drawing in a ragged breath. I feel the burning tears I have managed to keep at bay so well until this point, seep from my eyes. These aren't tears of sadness or pity, or anything to be ashamed of. These are tears of fury, fueling the fire. His dark expression contorts as I put space between us slowly. I eye the knife block on the kitchen island on the other side and I mentally try to figure out how many steps it would take to get there. He stamps toward me and I hope for the best as I make a lunge for the knife block that is sitting atop the island. I pull the largest handle out and hold up what looks to be a butcher's knife. He takes a step back and raises his hands, his murderous expression changes to one of pain.

"Why are you doing this Elena?" he asks with a hurt expression. My brain is swirling with confusion at the turn of events. He's asking me why I am doing this to him. I know I am not crazy, this happened. He is the crazy one. I touch a hand to my hairline and prove that it's real as I pull back my crimson covered hand, from where he slashed me with a shard of glass.

"MASON GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" I say as I pull my shattered cell phone from my back pocket with one hand, concealing it from view and call 911.

"Go ahead. Leave me Lena. Nobody is ever going to want a worthless piece of shit like you. You are nothing without me." He screams as he storms out the back door, slamming it with such force that it breaks the window pane. I stutter into the phone as the responder answers the call, my hearing fades and it's just me talking. I think I'm saying my name and address but I'm losing coherency. The last thing I think as I watch him walk to his car is _I WILL see you in court_. I drop the butcher knife to the floor and it clangors loudly through the empty house. I lean against the countertop and tumble into a heap on the floor. I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around myself until I hear the sirens coming down my block.

I thrash around my bed and pull the covers above my eyes. I can still feel the sting of the cut on my forehead and the bite of his hands on my skin. Thank god my face was down in the pillow to muffle my screams. I would have woken up the entire house. _Just a dream, you've safe, he's gone_, I repeat the mantra until I have calmed down substantially. I walk to the bathroom and flick on the light. My eyes burn from the change but soon refocus. I look like hell. My recent dream has left a slight sheen of sweat on my body and I look sickly pale. I pulled a clean washcloth from the drawer and put it under the stream of water and let it wash away the tension. I dropped the washcloth and looked at the mess staring back at me. My face looked grim and fragile, my expression reflected the past years of pain, and I felt like my mouth was set in a permanent grimace. I ran my fingers along the scar just below my hairline, it was the only evidence you could see of foul play. The rest of it was concealed under my clothing.

I wish this shit was a dream. My stomach growls and I chuckle without humor. I need something to eat, talk about a midnight snack. It's almost one am. I shut off the light and walk to the door quietly, trying not to wake anyone up. I silently creep down the dark hallway and creak down the old wooden stairs. There is a soft light coming from the kitchen and I think someone must have left the light on. I quietly pad into the kitchen and jump when I hear something close. I snap my head around to see a body rustling through the freezer side of the refrigerator and restart my heart.

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph." I say breathlessly. The door is pulled back a bit and I see that it is Damon who is rummaging through the fridge. He is wearing a tight t-shirt and the flat planes of his chest are mesmerizing, the man was the epitome of sex on legs.

"You can call me Damon. That gets a little wordy for me." He said as he closed the freezer. He carried with him a container of ice cream. I feel my face stretch into a smile; ice cream was such a normal thing to eat for someone so abnormal.

"So what brings you to the Salvatore kitchen this early? Were you drinking, smoking?" He gasps." Sneaking out?"

"No." I replied. "More like planning on eating my feelings."

He nods his head and grabs two spoons from a drawer and plops down on the stool next to me. His black hair is unruly and sticking up straight in some areas. He still managed to look stunning. He holds out the spoon to me and I take a scoop of the mystery ice cream, looks like its vanilla. I put it in my mouth and moan in appreciation. Vanilla gelato, I think I have died and gone to heaven. Damon tenses at my side but relaxes again and spoons himself some more.

"So what's keeping you awake? Monsters under your bed?" He asks as his elbow lightly jabs my ribs. I grimace and a hiss of a breath escapes between my teeth.

"Shit sorry." He said sympathetically.

"No it's okay; my ribs are still healing from an injury." I said, keeping it as vague as possible.

I was grateful when he didn't peruse the subject any farther. He seems to have a pretty good track record of not talking about my uncomfortable subjects, which I am very grateful for.

"But to answer your question, you are pretty close. I had a nightmare." He nods his head in understanding and says no sarcastic comments which a shock me, maybe he ran out of them.

"What? No sarcasm? No snarky comments? That's a first." I said appreciatively and he smiled that real smile, the beautiful one.

"Maybe because I get them myself time to time."

I feel my eyebrows raise and dig into the gelato with my spoon and place it in my mouth. If he wants to tell me he will do it on his own, without pressure from me.

"I know. The fearless hero with godly good looks and charm gets nightmares? I know, it's a shock to myself." He says smirking and I smile slightly.

"They aren't too often but they are not fun all the same. I always get the same one. When my mom died, she was giving birth to Stefan. I was the last person she spoke to. My dad has always hated me for it." He said sadly, but then a look of indifference replaced his frown. There it is again, that defense mechanism he has. Anything that shows too much emotion is covered by a smirk and sarcastic remarks. It's weird how similar we are in some senses, I do practically the same thing but with a smile and a reassurance that I am fine. He knows what it was like to lose someone he loved it. If he opened up to me I could do the same to him.

"I'm sorry. You lost someone you loved. You shouldn't be blamed for something you had no control over." I said as he scrunched his eyebrows up. He looked confused, I don't know why. He didn't answer so I figured I would return the favor.

"Mine are almost every night. I've had a lot of trauma in my life so there is a pretty good base for night terrors." I take a deep breath and try to talk my brain into saying the things that would rip my vulnerable heart to shreds. "Mostly they are about my parents and my ex." I choke out. My body shakes and I uncomfortably shift in my seat. I would talk about my parents but I wasn't ready to tell anyone about Mason.

_**Damon POV: **_

Her thin body is hunched over like she is nursing some wound that is invisible to me. She looks so young right now, in her small pj top and bottom, her hair up in a bun and her face bare. Like a scared small child, she is hugging her knees to her chest. I've been in that position before, and I know it's no use pushing her.

"If you want to talk, I can listen." I said leaving it open ended so she can decide. Her huge brown eyes darted back to mine and seemed empty. Her eyes were the only way I had been able to interpret her emotions. They were like mirrors into her mind, reflecting everything. Now they told me what I already knew, she was in pain.

"I lost my parents almost five years ago in a car accident." She says shakily, repressing emotion. "I had skipped out on family night to go get drunk at some high school party. I got into a fight with a boyfriend of mine and called my parents to pick me up. When I got in the car, they were fine with it. They had always let me make my own decisions and that night I suffered the consequences." She stopped and took a deep breath. I could tell opening up was hard for her. "It started to rain and we went over a bridge we had gone over thousands of times, the car hydroplaned and we drove off into the water." She gasps in a breath to calm herself down. I hesitantly put my arms out and put my hands on her small shoulders in a gesture meant to comfort her, but it didn't seem like the correct gesture. I don't know, I'm new at this kind of shit. Her skin was soft and she was so frail and broken looking as she glanced up to me from under her dark lashes.

"Elena, it's okay you don't have to do this." I say softly. Why did I have to bring this up? Why couldn't I have just been content sitting here in her company talking about something else? Why did I have to know everything? _Because you're a dick, _I think.

"No." she shakes her head. "I have pretended for too long that everything is okay and is better if I don't say it. I can't do that anymore!" she says as her eyes fill with tears. The heart I didn't know I had, aches. She continues, "The car kept filling with water and my mom was crying. The doors wouldn't open, and the water was so cold." Her eyes were staring somewhere far off, reliving the hysteria.

"They both held my hand until they ran out of air. I remember their hands slipping from mine when they died. And I was just by myself. And I survived! Someone pulled me out of the water! Why did I survive? Why didn't they live? They were so much better than me! I deserved to die not them!" She cries as the tears stream down her face and she sobs loudly. She was spiraling violently. Someone so beautiful and kind should never be so sad.

"Elena!" I say and she continues. "Elena!" I say louder and my hands once again find her body. She stills and looks up at me.

"Hey." I say as my hands move to cup her face. They fit perfectly, her eyes are downcast. "It is okay, it's over." She sniffles and throws herself into my arms. I am momentarily stunned but I follow my instincts and wrap my arms around her. I push back the chair and stand up and hold her as she sobs against my chest. I have never hugged a woman other than my mother all those years ago. I had done every sexual act in the book, but shied away from affection or anything I deemed as affectionate. I never let anyone get close enough to do that. Hugging for me was alien and took me by surprise. And having Elena tucked under my arm made me feel, confused and rethinking my opposition to the idea as I pulled her tighter to me.

"The tears are fine, just don't wipe your snot on my shirt. It's John Vervatos." I say quietly trying to lighten the mood. She chuckles beneath me but stays where she is. Her small body warms mine and she clutches onto me for dear life. This is the second time in the range of two weeks that she has cried in my presence. I have been around crying women before and just sat or walked away awkwardly and if I am being honest, I may have been the reason for said crying. I had never felt compelled to reassure and comfort someone until Elena. After a few minutes, she quieted and I pull back and look at her. Her cheeks are pink and her eyes red as a few stray tears ran down her cheek, how was it possible for someone to be so perfect when they were crying?

"I'm sorry; I don't even know what to say I am so mortified." She stutters. I feel my lips pull into an unconscious smile, and my hand unintentionally rises to her face again. I wipe away a few stray tears with the pad of my thumb. My fingers trail to her mouth and swipes over her full lips. I desperately want to kiss her, just help her forget for one night all the shit that she is knee deep in. She stops speaking and her eyes widen, it looks like she wants me to do it. Like she wants me to give in. _You can't_ I think. I draw my hand back to my side and take a breath. I didn't realize that I had leaned in and craned my neck down to her. I straighten up run a hand through my hair. I can't do that to her, I am incapable of the love and support she needs. I can't break her anymore then she already is broken, she isn't one of the trashy girls you can pick up at the club, fuck and dump. She is a girl some great guy out there is going to want to take home to meet his parents, will get married to her and make a lot of beautiful babies with. Not sleep with her once and have to explain to her that as perfect as she is that I am not capable of love and affection. And as much as I want to press my lips to her full pink ones in that moment, for her sake and my own, I don't. Surely, the sting of rejection is less than the harsh bite that I would give her. She turns her face away from mine and wipes her eyes on the back of her arm, she is just emotional and vulnerable, and she doesn't want me. I can't tell if she is disappointed or not because she turns away, and for some reason I want to know.

"Anytime you need anything Elena, I'm right across the hallway. Okay?" I say. She looks back up to me with her mouth pressed in a straight line. She nods and I turn back to the counter where the now melting gelato sits. I pick up the two spoons and put them in the dishwasher. I walk around the island to the freezer and put it back in its place.

"Damon?" Elena's hoarse voice calls softly. I walk towards her.

"Yea?" I ask.

"Thank you. You have literally been my tissue box twice since I have been here. And I haven't been the kindest to you, I have definitely misjudged you. You need to give yourself more credit; you aren't as bad as you think you are. Really, thank you. And I'm sorry you had to see all of that." She says as a light blush covered her cheeks. She was strong, and didn't like showing weakness. She misjudged me? So what does that mean? Does she think I am good?

"It's okay Elena; there is no need to apologize. You were dealt a shit hand, but never think that you don't deserve to be here. I'm sure your parents would be proud to see how their daughter grew up." I said truthfully, I don't see how parents couldn't be proud of the amazing woman in front of me, which makes me think of Giuseppe and how he barely even talks to me. She walks closer to me and stands on her tippy toes and places her hands on my shoulders. Before I process what she is doing, she pecks my cheek where my stubble is growing in, it tickles my face. She pulls back and lets go of my shoulders leaving me stunned. "Good night." She whispers and retreats to the stairway. I miss the heat of her skin and as she leaves, the house is quiet once more, and I am left breathless.


	12. Sports bra summer

Filler chapters blow, I hate them. This is one of those chapters. Sorry, just need to pass some more time before anything good starts going on. I know, I know, I hate me too. OH AND WHAT THE HELL? KLAUS IS GOING TO BE A FATHER? WHAT THE FUCK? I PRACTICALLY HAD AN ANURISM WHEN THAT HAPPENED. And look at that! Two chapters in two days! Thanks for reading! Please review/ show some love… for Damon's sake.

Emily

Sundays. I hate Sundays, always have, and always will. Even in this beautiful place, Sundays meant Mondays, which invariably led to a long week of work. No matter how much I enjoyed my work, it was time that could be better spent. So with another full week looming, today I decided I should go around town and familiarize myself with the local businesses. But even on a Sunday, I felt good. Nothing like a good cry with your hot housemate to make you feel golden. I took the Benz again and decided to put the top down, if you have a convertible at your disposal, that tope better be down. I wore a bright pink dress that proofed out a little around my waist and had my hair up in a bun. I slipped on my Ray Bans and enjoyed my drive with the sun on my back. That's one thing I didn't miss about school and home, driving through the city and on the highways was horrible. Here every drive was scenic and beautiful. After about a half hour I arrive on the outskirts of town. I figured I could park at the office building and just walk from there, so I hoped out the car and crossed the street. I walked along the sidewalks and into small shops. I loved exploring new things, and I had an entire city at my feet. I went into a cute store that was completely pink, interior and exterior and browsed through their things and taking notes on my phone on the clothing they carried. It was more casual than formal and I didn't really see too much of Caroline's collection being sold here. I did however see some cute dresses that I tried on and decided to buy. I was ringing them up when my phone rang loudly.

"Grazie" I said to the cashier who smiled back at me. I rifled through my bag until I found it, it was Bonnie!

"Oh my god Bonnie! Hey!" I said excitedly into the phone. There was silence on the other line for a few seconds, and then she spoke.

"Is this Elena Gilbert I am speaking to?" she asked suspiciously. I giggled at her response and grabbed the shopping bag and went back out onto the sidewalk.

"The one and only!" I said back chuckling. She giggled back happily.

"Why are you so chipper young lady? I don't think I have ever heard you this happy. Like ever. Italy agreeing with you?" she asks, I hear the concern in her voice. I miss Bonnie; she could read me like a book and would always smack some sense into me when I was being stupid. She knows me better than anyone else.

"Hell yea it is. I love it, it's like a movie. Everyone is rich, beautiful and tan, my job is amazing and listen to this. I'm going to fashion week in two weeks!" I chattered excitedly.

"What? That's crazy! That's like your dream!" She screeched back into the phone and I giggle at her enthusiasm.

"I know. It's perfect here. I am so happy." I replied, I felt like I was gushing a bit too much.

"Elena Gilbert, have you met a guy?" Bonnie asks and I go quiet, I am uncharacteristically happy today. Is it because of Damon? He was such a help last night, he showed compassion. Something I didn't even know he was capable of, I don't think he knew he was capable of it either. I had definitely warmed up to him. The cockiness that used to make me wild with rage, I have grown pretty fond of in a short time. Like I said, I misjudged him, he was like an onion. He had a bunch of layers to peel back before you see who he really is. I smile to myself because I totally stole that from Shrek and answer Bonnie.

"I'm not sure..." I replied hesitantly. She snorted in return.

"You aren't sure you met someone? Or you aren't sure if you are into him?" she asked. I scrunched my nose up knowing what was coming next. I walk into another shop and like what I see a lot; I quickly take note of it while still on the phone with Bonnie and browse.

"Both." I said quietly.

"Who is it?" there it is. The question. I should tell her that I met him in a coffee shop or at vineyard. But nope, I live with him.

"Uhhhh. I kinda live with him?" I said and it sounded like more of a question than answer. For a second time the line stayed quiet. Shit, she's probably coming up with a reason why this is wrong. And it is, but it's not like anything happened. I wanted to kiss him last night, whether it was my crazy emotions last night or just because I wanted to, I haven't wanted to do something like that in a long time. I still don't know why I wanted it, but I did.

"Which one the nice guy who talks a lot or the one you said was hot but a douche?" she asks. This time it's my turn to be silent.

"Elena." She said in a resigned tone. And I suddenly felt self-conscious, which didn't make sense because Bonnie is my best friend. I walk next store and stop at a coffee shop so I can finish my conversation stationary.

"Go ahead Bonnie, don't hold back. I know you won't" I said irritated that she was judging me when she didn't even know the whole story.

"Whoa girl easy" she chuckled and continued. "What I was going to say is I'm happy for you."

What? I would be expecting an hour long lecture and nothing less from Bonnie.

"If you like him he can't be that bad. It's good to see, well hear you getting back out there. You deserve to have fun. Just be careful because you are living under the same roof." She said.

"Of course I will. It's not like we are dating, he's just grown on me since I have been here. He's pretty challenging. But I kinda like that. I feel like I'm almost me again Bon."

"At least you are feeling again Lena. I knew that this is what you needed, time away from everything and everyone. Do you think you are ready to go for him?" she asked.

"Well like I said, nothing has happened. He has just grown on me since I have been here. He kinda made a pass at me when we first met. That's why I was so pissed when I called you the first night. But he's been a lot better. But no, I'm not ready for a relationship. It just feels good to have something else on my mind and worry about stupid things a twenty one year old should be worrying about." I finished and covered part of the phone when the waiter asked me for a drink order. I ordered a coffee and went back to Bonnie.

"I'm glad Elena. Speaking of twenty one year olds, I'm not going to see you for your birthday! You are still going to be in Italy!" My birthday was July 13th and it was only May. It's weird how long I would be away from home.

"I know. It's weird. I guess you can just sing to me on facetime" I say sarcastically. "So how's Jamie?" That's all it took to change the tide of the conversation to Bonnie's life. I talked with her as I walked around more shops and even put her on the Bluetooth in the car on the way home. It was great catching up with her, we text practically everyday but it felt great to actually talk to my best friend.

"Well Bonn I just got back so I gotta go. I miss you and I'll call you soon. Tell Jamie I said hey" I said, I really did miss her.

"I will. And you better missy! I miss you too Len. Bye." She said and I ended the call.

I grabbed my shopping bags from the backseat and walked up to the front door and pulled on the door handle. It was locked, everyone must be out. I use the house key that Giuseppe gave me on my first day and disarm the alarm on the inside of the house quickly. I shut the door back up and walk upstairs to my bedroom. I figured I should be productive today and do some laundry. I carry my hamper downstairs and load up the washing machine. I stroll back upstairs and change into some running clothes, it's a beautiful day. I really shouldn't waste it. I put on a black spandex tank and some shorts, grab my headphones and head out. I figure I might as well explore some more and take off on a vigorous run.

Running serves as my designated thinking time, I replay last night's events in my head. I'm such an embarrassment breaking down like that, but he was so….good? Talk about mixed signals, he's a douche one minute and then supportive and caring the next. His mood's swing like a pendulum. I run harder as my frustration grows; I fly through the rows of trees and push my legs harder. Now I can't seem to get that feeling of him holding me against his hard chest out of my head. I turn my music up trying to drown out my thoughts; he's been consuming my mind all day. His strong arms wrapped around me, I move faster. His blue eyes shining with sadness, I push my legs harder. That goddamn smirk and thinking he is a god given gift to all women, I sprint. My breath is ragged as I stop and lean against one of the many olive trees.

I sit in the sun and strip down to my sports bra and spandex. I look down at the skin on my side, the two wounds that are beginning to pucker with scar tissue. I run my fingers over them gently and think about putting my shirt back on briefly. But no, I have to stop hiding; I can't keep living like this. I'm not a hermit crab; I can't just go back into my shell when something makes me uncomfortable, no matter how bad I want to. And I want my god damn shirt off, so guess what? It's staying off.

_What a rebel _I think sarcastically and sprawl out on the grass. It is very short and fuzzy but is soft on my back. I wait until my breathing slows and I close my eyes, letting my body drink in the sunshine. After about a half hour, I rise again and continue my run home. The house still looks quiet as I arrive back and I go through the mudroom. The house is quiet but there are shoes on the matt so I know I'm not the only one home. I walk into the kitchen and go the fridge and pick out an apple and a bottle of water with the intention of bringing it upstairs. I stop where I am standing as I hear booming laughter coming from the den area, followed by what sounds like Klaus' voice. I roll my eyes and debate leaving the house so I don't have to see any of them. Instead, I carefully pad past the den in attempt to sneak by. I just clear the doorway when I hear someone call my name.

"Elena!" I cringe. Stefan always catches me trying to sneak away. I walk to the entrance and pretend I didn't know they were there. "Oh hey guys!" I say with a wave. Elijah, Stefan, Damon, and Klaus are all sprawled out on the couch with video game controllers in their hands. Elijah smiles back politely and Klaus waves, Damon just looks at me and chuckles.

"Elena the strip club is on the other side of town. But I won't object if you want to put on a show." Damon said with a smirk. Blood pools in my cheeks as I look down to see I'm practically naked except for my shorts and my sports bra. One of my arms wraps around my stomach as I self-consciously try to cover myself. Now I'm just straight up pissed off.

"Lucky for you Elena, he doesn't like women." Elijah says with a smile. I smile at him gratefully and then continue on with my fit of rage.

"Are there any sperm banks around here? Because you seem to be enough of a dick for all of Italy to procreate." I spit back at Damon angrily. The room erupts with laughter and he is rendered speechless. A slow smirk spreads across his face and as he opens his mouth to say something, I quickly make my exit ensuring I get the last word and give him something to think about.

"I'll see you guys later" I say and leave. _Welcome back douche Damon, you have been missed _I think as I roll my eyes and run up the stairs to my room.

**DAMON POV:**

"Looks like you met your match." Elijah said as he nudged me with his shoulder. I pick my controller back up and start the game. I had to admit, that was a pretty nice comeback. And she got the hell outta here before I could come up with anything else.

"Please." I scoff. "I was going easy on her." I say cockily. Well that wasn't true; she was getting better at this whole banter thing. And I would be lying if I said I don't like it. Some people like swimming, some people like reading; I just like to start shit. It was too easy being a normal person, who would have just admired her perfect body. I liked it hard, pun intended. Of course I had to go ahead and make her feel uncomfortable, that's kinda my thing. But damn did she look hot in her little pink sports bra and shorts. She had a perfect flat stomach and her skin was still shinning with sweat. She's literally a dream; for all of mankind. Klaus looked like he was going to jump her right there by the amount of drool coming out of his mouth. I try to ignore the thought of those mile long tan legs wrapped around my body. Or her slender arms around my naked back, digging her nails into my skin, I wish.

Klaus snorts as he kills someone on his screen. "It seems you bring out the worst in her mate. Too bad, she would be a very desirable conquest. Am I not right?" He asks. I hate when those European bastards do that, instead of saying something in a sentence they have to bust out their thesaurus and read a few chapters before they are satisfied with their speech. I roll my eyes at the screen and shoot a member of the enemy team.

"That's just our relationship. You know, the whole love hate but really attracted to you kinda relationship." I say explaining myself; none of them have to know about our late night encounters and that I act like a total softy with her for some reason.

"Uhhhh... no that's not true because the first dinner she had with us she didn't even like you then. " Stefan said, he obviously didn't know we had met before that dinner. But why do I care, I don't.

"Well I think I might take a shot at her." Klaus says confidently.

"I wish you the best of luck brother, if she hates Damon so much what makes you think she will enjoy your company Nicklaus?" Elijah said. I chuckle at Elijah and kill two more people. Our team wins, no matter how old I get I will always live video games. My father hates it when I play them, so naturally I do it as often as possible.

"Fuck yourself Elijah." Klaus says laughing.

Klaus is probably right behind me in terms of character. I knew I was a bad person with no redeeming qualities; I have come to terms with it. But even Klaus thinking he could have a chance with Elena was hilarious; he would rob a bank before he was in a monogamous relationship. That would actually be hilarious to watch though.

"That body of hers is exquisite." He said hungrily. A scoff comes from my opposite side and I turn to look at Elijah.

"Women aren't just a piece of meat Niklaus. Mother would sterilize you if she found out you were acting like this." He said with a smirk, oh Elijah. Always the defender of the helpless, what a man.

"Well you don't walk around looking like that if you don't want people to think about you sexually." Klaus said as he defended himself. Thankfully Stefan stepped in or I would have had to. He doesn't get it.

"It looks like she had gone for a run. I'm sure she didn't stage the whole thing Klaus." Stefan said defensively. It was cute watching him following Elena around with his puppy dog eyes. And even better Elena being oblivious to it.

"Whatever. But by all means go for it man." I said and he smiled triumphantly.

"Which room is hers? He asks. I turn and stare at him; he was serious about doing this. I needed to see this happen.

"You want to ask her now?" I asked incredulously.

"Carpe diem." He said shrugging. I feel my lips pull into a full smile in anticipation of her reaction. I should record this shit. I threw my controller to the side. I motioned for him to follow me upstairs, there is no way I was going to miss this.


	13. Klaus gets thrown to the wolves

Elena is a badass in this chapter. She seems kind of bitchy, but remember how much she hates people like Klaus! She is still the kind and compassionate girl we all love she just snaps sometimes. I had a lot of fun with this chapter, angry Elena is the bomb in my opinion. I hope you enjoy this, if you do please review! Thanks for reading!

Emily

I was curled up in bed with my laptop on my well, lap when the door swung open. Do you not have the decency to knock? I roll my eyes and look up wondering who I am going to scold this time._ Oh shit_ I think, Klaus Mikaelson is standing in the doorway. I quickly look around the room scoping out my best exit, this guy gave me the creeps. Why the hell was he in my room? I feel like him just being in here is tainting my air supply; I knew a bad seed when I saw one. He was one, just a bad part of the crop I guess because the rest of their family seemed like decent people.

"Why good evening Elena." He said with flourish, I'm sure he expected me to swoon. I didn't, instead I wanted to snip his vocal cords, I talked myself out of it and sat patiently. _That god damn accent!_ I scream in my head. I prayed he wouldn't come any closer and thankfully he didn't. I pushed my laptop off of my legs preparing for fight or flight; I just don't know which one yet.

"Uhh hi." I said awkwardly, not knowing what to do with myself. "Do you need help finding the bathroom or something?" I asked and I hear a chuckle from outside the door. It appears I have an audience, that soothes me a little knowing I'm not by myself with that creep.

He smiles a bit and takes a step closer. "No I found exactly who I was looking for actually." He said. Smooth. I roll my eyes outwardly not even caring if it's rude, he better not start this again. He spent half the night trying to pick me up at their house, I was praying that his visit wouldn't be a repeat of that.

"Oh yea? And why are you looking for me?" I ask. Enough with the beating around the bush say what you want to say so I can lock my door and wash the skeevies off of me.

"Well isn't it obvious?" he asks as he takes a few more steps closer, he cocks his head in what looks like to be a move of seduction. The cocky asshole. I tense and ready myself to swing my legs over the bed and jump out of the window if I have to. I shake my head.

"Not to me. I don't exactly have the time to play guessing games and decode your ancient language so could you please cut to the chase, I have work I need to get in by the end of the night." I said annoyed. The work part was a lie, I was currently emailing Jenna. It was about work, so I guess that's close enough.

"Well Elena, I find you very intriguing. You've got spunk, and I don't know a lot of men who can handle that. I however can and I can tell you find me just as interesting. I can see it." He says confidently. If I wasn't gaping at him before I sure as hell was now. This is where I have no patience, he comes in my room and tells me how I feel after the way he's acted and the stories Caroline has told me. He must be drunk or completely unaware of himself. He apparently did the same thing to Caroline and she had to kick him in the balls to make him stop.

"Thank you for educating me on my own feelings that I didn't even know I had. You learn something new every day!" I said sarcastically. "Sorry Klaus I have no interest. I mean no disrespect but you haven't exactly made the best impression on me. We are complete opposites, I would rather stay acquaintances." I said. _Fuck manors._ I mentally give myself a high five, I didn't even say friends. Acquaintances were less than friends.

"Look Elena, you are beautiful and I am me, so I understand that you are intimidated. I like you Elena, and I can show you things you didn't even know existed." He said seductively. Uhh the age old pick up line, I can take you places you have never been before. I swallow the bile that rises in my throat and think about spitting at him.

"You are confusing intimidated by repulsed Klaus. I'm sorry but I'm not interested." I say with my teeth clenched, trying to maintain some composure.

"Don't be like that baby." He coos. Baby? Fucking baby? Who the hell does he think he is?

"How do you expect me to act? You have no respect for anyone especially women! I suggest you leave." My voice was growing louder and louder as his smile widened and persisted. He coked his head to the side and sashayed closer to me. His eyes were alive with excitement and I wanted to punch that confident smile off of his face.

"This is why I like you Elena, you are a challenge." He said raising one of his eyebrows.

"If you want a challenge run a marathon or something, don't come to me Klaus. If you leave right now we can go back to being normal, I won't hold anything against you, but please just leave." I say more firmly, hoping he will respect my wishes.

"I'm persistent Elena." He said loudly, as if trying to convince himself.

"Good!" I shout, "come back next week so I can kick your arrogant ass out of here again!" My blood bubbled up beneath my skin and threatened to boil over.

"You said I hadn't made a good impression; let me make a better impression on you then. On Friday night, I'll pick you up at seven." He says as he turns around after shooting me a toothy smile and moves to walk out of the room. _What? _He didn't even give me a choice! That's where I drew the line.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I say, my voice going an octave higher with irritation. He turns back around as if he wasn't expecting any objection to his plan. I continue, his silence fueling my fire. "What part of no interest do you not understand? Trust me; the best way to get a date isn't through forcing someone mate." I mocked. I hear the same laugh in the hallway. Whoever it is tries to cover it up with a cough. I can't bring myself to care that they are overhearing this.

"Elena, if you are trying to play hard to get it's working." He said as he walked nearly to the foot of my bed. My vision is rimmed with red, this man is infuriating! I can't decide if I want to just shout profanities at him or I should slap him, I don't think. I just let it out, word vomit. And this shit is projectile.

"Holy shit. Who the hell do you think you are? You don't even knock on my door, barge in and tell me how I feel and take away any choice I had in the matter. Are you always so entitled? I think all those biscuits and cups of tea with the queen have gone to your pig head!" I say angrily. That musical laugh is still going outside and I use it to anger me even more, if that's even possible. "You have no respect for women! You think you can have whatever you want! I thought I had emotional baggage! You have the whole god damn baggage claim!" I shout in frustration throwing my arms in the air to emphasize my point. "You should really take a moment and reflect on yourself before you expose anyone else to your selfishness!" I said bitterly, he was stunned to silence.

"I'll take it you spoke to Caroline." He says unphased. I groan loudly and throw my hands in the air out of frustration. Movement from the door attracts my attention and I snap my head in that direction. A doubled over Damon is entering the room laughing. So it was him outside the entire time, I want to be mad, but all my anger is focused elsewhere for the time being. He wipes tears from his eyes as he grabs Klaus' arm and pulls him away from the foot of my bed. Klaus doesn't object and I think is really starting to get that I meant it. Constant peals of laughter continued as they exited into the hallway.

I got up from my bed and violently slammed the door and bolted it. I stomped into the bathroom and turned on the shower to cold hoping it would cool my temper. I strip down and stand under the cascade of icy water, I relax my body head to toe and grab the soap and aggressively scrub his hungry gaze from my body. Almost to a painful point I scratch my scalp with shampoo and follow it with conditioner. When I have substantially calmed down to a point where I no longer feel like I am going to hijack a truck and steamroll over Klaus, I turn off the water. I go to my closet and put on a sweatshirt and sweatpants just in case he is still here and decides to show his face again, can't get much more conservative than that. I make a mental note to keep some sort of weapon in my room for intruders. I'm just heading down the stairs about an hour later as I hear the Mikealson's saying goodbye. I freeze on the stairs and turn around and go right back up. I quickly finish my email to Jenna and set out my work clothes for tomorrow. At about five pm, Giuseppe quietly knocks on my door and tells me dinner is ready. He was very rarely home and seemed to be a busy man, but he always made it to family dinner at five. Except for tonight, he was dressed in a business suit and said he was meeting a client. I wished him good luck and a good night; he responded with a slight smile and said no more. I walk into the dining room and sink into the comfy chair, the table is empty which is weird because we always eat dinner in here. I get up and wander into the kitchen in search of food and people. I am welcomed by a clapping Damon and Stefan as I enter the kitchen; I make a small bow and giggle. I throw myself into one of the stools and slide down into it, appreciating its cushion fully.

"Damn Elena. I have so much respect for you right now, you don't even know." Stefan said appreciatively.

"You heard that?" I asked self-consciously. He nodded and smiled as he sat on my right.

"I think most of Italy heard it." Stefan said chuckling. Damon resumes his fit of laughter from before as he sits down across from me and suddenly the whole thing actually is really funny. I totally just bitched him out in front of his brother and his friends. I was actually feeling pretty good about myself. I also began to laugh and I held my head in my hands.

"The…The part about the queen and the tea….." Damon struggles as he laughs, butchering his sentence completely.

"I know, that was probably the proudest moment of my life to date." I agreed giggling. "He is completely clueless! I don't understand how someone can be like him." I continued.

"Elena you are my hero. Honestly. Nobel prize, you earned it." Damon said appreciatively, humor alight in his ocean eyes.

"That was hardly a peaceful display. I probably would have jumped out the window if you hadn't come in, so thanks for that." I said awkwardly.

"Please! I should be thanking you. Best day of my life." He said with a full toothy smile. He was so beautiful when he actually smiled. My brain stopped functioning for a second as I drank the sight of him in and quickly made a recovery move. I look in his hand and comment on what I see.

"I think I'm going to need one of those if you don't mind." I state, I really do need to calm down. He passes the beer bottle in his hand to Stefan and pulls out another from the alcohol fridge under the counter.

"I'm way ahead of you." He says as he pulls out another bottle and pops the top off. I take a swig of the cold liquid and sit back.

"So what's for dinner?" I asked.

"Hungry after your tirade are you?" I flush with embarrassment.

"Obviously, that was like killing brain cells. And I think my blood pressure is still through the roof." I said as I rubbed my forehead. Feeling the beginnings of a headache taking place. My stomach rumbled and I chuckle at the sound.

"So, master, I think you have earned the dinner pick tonight." He said as he moved gracefully about the kitchen. I was hungry, but I wanted something that reminded me of home.

"I don't really care, make me something American." I shrug my shoulders.

"Oh that's easy, we have ramen in the pantry. No Fatdonald's though sorry." He says smirking. I shake my head as I scoff at him. It was so difficult to get bored around here with so much entertainment; I've had more stuff go on in the past week of my life then the 21 years previous to it.

"Has he always been like this?" I turn to Stefan and ask. "Just pulling whatever he finds in his ass out and saying it without thinking?" I turn back to Damon. He is smirking and shrugs.

"Pretty much. I just go with the flow. So something American, it needs to have fat in it. A lot of fat." He said thinking.

"And cheese. Mmm cheese." I moan. Damon's body stiffens and his eyes hold contact with mine, it must be the lighting because they look a shade or two darker than usual.

"And hot sauce." Stefan added, effectively breaking the trance I was in because of Damon's gaze.

"Mac and Cheese?" I ask. I only eat my Mac and Cheese with hot sauce, if you don't I suggest you do. It's a gift from god.

"Yes!" Stefan exclaims, my stomach grumbled in agreement. My mom used to make the best mac and cheese, my diet as a child consisted of chicken nuggets drenched in honey mustard and mac and cheese in hot sauce. The epitome of balance obviously.

"Sure why not. Stefan, run out to the garage, go in the fridge and bring me all the cheese we have." Damon delegates. Stefan reminds me of a Golden Retriever as he happily obliges and jumps up and runs obediently outside. Now that I think about it, if you put a collar around Stefan he would be the perfect dog. I snicker at my own thoughts and lightly chuckle. Damon looks up from the stove where he is placing two pots on questioningly.

"Stefan's kind of like a dog. You throw him a bone and he just willingly fetches the same bone for hours. He looks up to you." I say chuckling again but growing serious at the last part. It is obvious Stefan looks at his older brother like he can do no wrong.

"Yea that's bullshit." He replied.

"No it's not; don't be so hard on yourself. I mean yea sometimes you can be doucheier than a gynecologist's office but other times you are really…" I trailed off looking for the right word to fit his multiple personalities.

"I'm really what Elena? Sexual?" _Yes._ "Enticing?" _yes._ "The list goes on and on you've gotta give me some help here." He said lightly.

"Sweet. Don't be so self-depreciating, trust me. I'll tell you when you should think less of yourself, I'm not really known for my self-control in that area anymore." He looks down like he is embarrassed and a small shy smile appears on his face, it's gorgeous. His jack ass moments overshadowed the good one's but I could tell he was a decent person, he had proved that to me. More than once, and that's just his comfort zone, diverting the attention to something else with a witty joke.

He pulls out a leather wallet from his pocket and takes out a small coin. I'm confused by the action, not the best time to count money while standing over a stove, but to each their own. He looks at it for a second and flips it over in his hand a few times. He draws back his hand launches it at me. I dodge it and look at him in shock. I wait until it settles on the floor and look back at him. What does he think I'm a stripper? "What the hell was that for?" I demand.

"I told you if I see something I haven't seen before I'll throw a dollar at it. I didn't have any dollar bills so I settled for something else." Oh yes, I remember him saying something weird like that. I hadn't said or done anything out of the norm though.

"What haven't you seen before?" I ask confused.

His endless blue eyes burn into mine as he says, "someone quite like you Elena."

GASPPP! Don't worry guys; Damon isn't going soft just yet. He is still the sarcastic ass that I want to marry. He however does like Elena and is flirting with her a bit. ALSO, I got quite a few PM and reviews saying they were really excited to see Elena's reaction, I hope I didn't disappoint! I AM SO PUMPED FOR TOMORROW'S EPISODE YOU GUYS DON'T EVEN KNOW! Thanks for reading as always guys. Some new Elena/Mason drama next chapter!


	14. Justice is servedtemporarily

I KNOW, THIS IS OUT OF CONTROL SHORT. I GET IT, I NEEDED A FILLER CHAPTER AND I'M TOTALLY LAGGING. THERE IS NO EXCUSE! (Except for the following excuses.) I have had two papers due in the past week and over the weekend I injured myself. I have been going back and forth to doctors and have had time only for school work and appointments. I have had NO time to do anything and on top of that I have THREE A.P tests in the next two weeks, when I get past them, updates will be much more frequent. Don't fret, the next chapter has already been started and yes, it is normal length.

"**I do." Those are the words every girl dreams of hearing from the man she loves. White, there was white all around me, just as it should be. It was so white it gave the room a dream like quality. The whole setting was just so bright, stark white. Only these white walls were closing in on me. I sit twitching nervously as he was giving his oath, just like women all over the world. I didn't have cold feet; my feet were burning if anything. He finishes his vow confidently, soon enough I would have to give mine. But this oath was not to care and to love someone for as long as you lived. No no, this oath was to promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and in Mason's case nothing but bullshit in front of a judge and jury. My parents would be so proud of their little girl, sitting in the county courtroom getting a restraining order from her ex-boyfriend. I ran through how things could have been different, all of the possibilities in my head. There was no use, I didn't need to make anything anymore difficult than it already is. It's funny, how kids walk around with an heir of invincibility, thinking **_**this would never happen to me. **_**I'll admit, I was one of them. I still remember sitting in Ms. Fyre's health class in ninth grade. She made us watch a horribly made film about abusive relationships; I rolled my eyes at the poor acting and ignored the message. I knew better than anyone, you are not invincible. Bad things can happen to anyone, at any time. I thought maybe this was my payback for being so reckless in high school, drinking on the weekends in the woods and going to parties. **

**I sat at the wooden table in an uncomfortable chair and studied the wood grain pattern. It was a sturdy table, and I felt comforted by the fact that the table had seen more gruesome cases then my own. I was lucky really, but it was hard to tell myself that as the man who abused me sat less than fifty feet away from me now. My fingers haphazardly trace the pattern on the rough surface. Every few inches there was one grain that just didn't cooperate with the others. Only one that was swimming upstream instead of downstream. One, which just didn't seem to get how things worked. **_**Just like Mason. **_**I think sourly.**

**I pull at my uncomfortably tight neck line of my grey turtle neck and barely refrain from rolling my eyes. The lawyer had said "look as frail and modest as possible" which roughly translated into, look broken and like a nun. I had the broken part down to a t, I had been a complete mess after the whole thing, all that was left to play the part of "Sister Elena". Jenna had stuck me into a pair of slacks and a turtle neck; I was looking more conservative than the Tea Party. I wipe the sweat from my palms on my ridiculous pants and keep my eyes downcast; my only movements are involuntary flinches as the judge bangs his gavel.**

"**He's going to try to break you. Don't give him the satisfaction Elena" my lawyer had said as we walked into the courtroom this morning. I nervously look at her sitting to my right; she is wearing a pencil skirt and a blazer. Why can't I wear something like that? Just then Mason's boisterous voice cuts through all the other sounds in the room. My mouth dries and I feel a small choke in my throat. I shakily extended my hand and grabbed the glass of water in front of me and took a sip.**

"**Elena and I had been seeing each other for what seemed like years. We quickly fell in love, everything has been fantastic until just recently. We've had our share of fighting, but I don't think it's necessary to be evaluated by the court. Find me a couple that doesn't fight. But in all seriousness, she's everything to me, but by judging on how I am here, I guess I'm not exactly everything to her." He finishes with a somber tone. He's always been a good manipulator. He'd ask me where I wanted to go to dinner or what movie I felt like, but somehow I was always talked out of it and ended up doing something he wanted. In hindsight, I probably should have noticed something was up.**

**I had always written it off as him being protective; I thought it was sweet and comforting. Looking back he was controlling, I only wished I did something before, however in my eyes he could do no wrong. And that's why I am sitting here in this court room today, because I don't listen to my intuition and analyze the signs, I love with my whole heart, passionately. This is what I deserve for acting like such a love stuck fool. **

**Have you ever bumped your knee really hard and for a second feel like you are going to throw up? Imagine a perpetual state of nausea, heightened when you are around someone. As Mason continued, the room spun the colors and shapes twisting into one indistinguishable mass.**

**My body convulses underneath me and I grip the side of the table until my knuckles turn white. Memories from that night flash in my head and I squeeze my eyes shut and beg for them to stop. I couldn't do this, I feel tears pool in my eyes and I can't listen anymore. My ears strain to pick up any other sound in the room, other than his voice. He was going to talk himself out of this one like he always did with me, he was putting on the charm big time and I felt my stomach churn. **

**I block his voice out and try to pick up any other distraction, someone behind me is noisily snapping their gum; I search for a new sound. A continuous tapping of a shoe catches my attention but just irritates me. I settle with the soft buzzing of the florescent light fixtures above my head. I focused on that sound for about twenty minutes, allowing it to calm me and blocking everything out effectively. I feel a slight nudge on my shoulder and look to my side. My lawyer is looking expectantly at me "go Elena" she says and I hesitantly rise. My legs wobble a little but I remain standing. **

**I walk carefully around the table and onto the witness stand. I sit in the uncomfortable witness chair and shrink down. It smells like him and I feel the bile rise in my throat. I feel my eyes threaten to glance up to track Mason's movements but I stop myself. I've managed to not look at him once and I wanted to keep it that way. **

**A juror rises and puts the bible out in front of my hand. This was just the starting gate; these people would want to know everything. And reliving the memories I wanted so desperately to be erased from my mind, would be nothing short of unbearable. But no, short term memory loss was not one of my many ailments. "Elena Gilbert do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" **

"**I do." I reply. If only the truth was so easy to tell. And as I gave my vow, I slipped the proverbial ring on my finger, because even if this was an oath of truth, it was like Mason would be with me forever. I would carry the pain he imprinted on me for the rest of my life; nothing or no one could take that away from me. It was like an emotional barrier. I would do anything to avoid the pain Mason had inflicted on me, even if that time came that I found someone.**

Those were the memories that came rushing back to me as I read Jenna's email. She said she was doing jury duty for some traffic cases and she wouldn't be home when I was awake because of the time zones. That's all it took for my past to assault me.

If there was one thing I drew from that experience it was strength, you never know how far you can go until you have pushed yourself to the edge. I walked out the courthouse that day looking at him only once and ultimately getting the last word as I watched him cuffed and taken out by a pair of officers. He posted bail, his wealthy parents quickly threw cash at the sheriff's office to keep things quiet and it did for a while. The restraining order was in effect and I admit, it bought me some time. It gave me some peace of mind. Not a lot but some. It was after all, just a piece of paper. It could be signed by the president himself and Mason wouldn't have cared. When he wants something, he gets it. He always has, except for that last night, he didn't get me.

I shook my head physically and deleted Jenna's email from my computer, I spun in my chair to face the glass wall. The sun was just starting to set over the city skyline. It was so beautiful, the colors so vivid.

Caroline is still chattering on about something but I am completely lost on the conversation, good thing that girl can have a conversation with a wall and still not get bored. I spun around a few times in my chair and giggled, I felt like a ten year old on Christmas Eve. I was going to Milan tomorrow! For the past few days, Caroline and I have been making our plans for fashion week. Everything has kind of fallen into place; the company is picking up our travel arrangements and it just so happens that the Salvatore's own a property in Milan. Damon and Stefan actually ended up agreeing to come with us to open up the house. Giuseppe approved and I could not be more excited. Excited would be an understatement. I have had my luggage packed up and ready to go since Monday, we were leaving in less than twenty four hours! I rummaged through my desk drawers and pulled out the important information as well as our itinerary and out them safely in my bag.

Meanwhile, Caroline ran all around the flat packing things into her extremely oversized bag, I'm pretty sure she had every color pencil and sketch pad ever sold in there. Along with her own portfolio and some business cards. Once I helped her do a once over for anything we missed we walked out. We said good night to one another excitedly and solidified where we would meet tomorrow. From just the few weeks I have known Caroline; I have practically fallen in love with her. She is bright and anything but dull, and it's nice that somebody understands my American mannerisms. Bonnie would love her. The drive to Milan would take about a day, so I make a mental note to pack things to keep me busy. It is going to be so much fun, even with the Salvatore's. Damon has a way of keeping me entertained and Stefan makes sure there is never a moment of silence. With Stefan and Caroline combined, I don't think I'll be sleeping much.


	15. Law Enforcement

HELL YEA FUCKING RIGHT I'M DONE WITH AP EXAMS. AKA the only thing I have for the rest of school are some finals and a few easy state tests. I WILL be updating more, thanks for bearing with me. And new followers, yo. Thanks for reading as always! Review if you are feeling the love!

PS. Tell me what you think about a Caroline POV chapter…. I'm not sure, so let me know!  
Emily

"No Elena." He said as he shook his head back and forth, the sun shined off of his inky black hair throwing light of all different colors off of it.

"Come on you promised!" I whine as the two of us stand in the driveway staring at one another through narrowed eyes. Stefan had bowed out last minute claiming he had something to do. It seemed suspicious to me but whatever, I was going to get what I wanted. And since the Aston was only a two seat car, I was totally going to take full advantage of my winnings. He seems to ponder the thought for a second before shaking his head again.

"I don't know if I can trust you. She's a six speed." He said twirling the keys on his pointer finger. I groaned at him and rolled my eyes.

"I beat you fair and square, you shook on it! I said time and place of my choosing, this is my choosing Damon!" I say excitedly, he's gotta cave we shook on it. "I won't grind the gears, trust me. I learned on a stick. I'm not incompetent." I said trying to convince him. His face twists up in a snarl as he tosses the keys at me.

"God damn poker bets." He mumbles under his breath. I beam as I catch the keys and stroll leisurely around the car and duck into the beautiful interior. Hell yes I would be driving and Aston all day. My hands stroke over the fine leather and I adjust my seat. I watch him glaring at me through the mirror and smile smugly as he puts the luggage in the trunk. I sighed contently as I took in the beautiful interior. This car deserved love, tender devotion. And I intended to fully deliver; it deserved to be driven fast. You don't make a stallion walk, so why make a sports car go the speed limit? I slowly and carefully drive down the private road and out on to the highway. I change gears and press relatively hard on the gas pedal and went. The countryside flew past us as I flawlessly shifted gears, I couldn't help it but I was wearing a pretty haughty smile on my face. The windows were down and the warm clean air was whipping my hair around the small cab. I felt his gaze burning into the side of my head and I turn to look at him beaming.

"I'm eating hair." He says grumpily and his lips form into a pout. He looks damn good pouting.

"Don't distract the driver!" I yell over the loud sounds of the wind. I loved times like this, were I could just do something stress free. I could forget about all of the shit I've been through and all the shit that I have yet to face and just act my age, just to have fun. It's hard to believe that I'm only twenty one. My birthday was only in a month, it's weird how quick time goes by. And even though I have only been here for a short time, I'm feeling more like me. The emptiness is there, I doubt it will ever be gone, but I don't feel like a black hole anymore. I'm not sucking anything in never to be seen again, the hole is slowly being filled. And if I'm being honest with myself it's because of the people here. More specifically Caroline and I can barely believe it myself, Damon. No matter how much I hate him sometimes or have hated him, he's gotten under my skin, and that scares the shit out of me.

"Take it easy with the gas. Christ." He says as he puts his hands out. I put both the windows up so I can actually hear what he is saying.

"You can call me Elena" I imitate poorly in a sensual voice that was meant to sound like him, he laughs genuinely. He displays his perfect white teeth as he honestly smiles. I'm stunned by the sight and quickly turn my eyes back on the road, doing my best not to stare.

"See something you like?" He smirks. Damn it, I thought I would get away with that.

"Yes." I say. WHAT? I bite my lip and briefly close my eyes. Well fuck. He's smirking and it only grows as I stumble and stutter to talk my way out of my predicament.

"Easy Casanova, what I meant is, yes. You have a nice smile. You should do less of that stupid ass smirk and a bit more of your real smile." I say as my eyes stay trained on the road ahead of me. I'm surprised by my own honesty; I seem to be testing myself today. Usually I would just say stuff like that in my head. I look back up at him after a moment and he has a small shy small on his face. His eyes are on my face, he seems to be scouring for something. I glance is his direction and set my eyes back on the road.

"See something you like?" I ask as I roll my eyes.

"Oh yes Elena, most definitely." He says confidently and his gaze drops to my lips. I feel my cheeks blush hard and both my hands clutch the steering wheel. I press on the gas pedal more.

"I make you uncomfortable don't I?" He asks inquisitively. I glance at him quickly.

"I wouldn't say that." I said. I sounded like I was trying to convince myself, he must have heard it too.

"I would, your knuckles are turning white from the grip you've got there." He says as he slowly extends a hand and brushes his fingers over the knuckles of my right hand. And like a six year old afraid of cooties, I sharply withdraw my hand from the wheel and run it through my hair. I try to ignore the slow burn that his touch has left on my hand, cliché I know. I hate my body for reacting that way. Damon has grown on me a lot since I have been here; he is probably the most dangerous thing here for me. I emotionally could not afford to let Damon weasel his way into my head, or any other vital organ for that matter. _Liver included _I think as I remember the bottle of bourbon he put into the trunk and roll my eyes.

He was completely right; whenever he was around me I was on edge. I get nervous and skittish like I'm a Maltese or something. I turn the wheel to drive past an obnoxiously slow minivan going the speed limit and quickly get the speedometer up to a hundred easily. I check my mirrors and watch as a cop pulls off of a side road. Sure enough, blue and red flashing lights were following me. "Shit." I moan and Damon turns around to look at what has me perturbed.

"Well were fucked. You're lucky I left my unregistered fire arms and bricks of cocaine in the other car, I totally would have thrown you under the bus." He says as he flops back into the chair, and tug at the end of his black button down. The hem was wrinkled, seemed like an action he must do more than once. I slow down and pull over to the shoulder.

"Sorry." I say quietly, he waves his hand to dismiss it. There's a slight tap on the window, a young officer motions for me to put it down. It slowly rolls down, the officer leans into the car window.

"Ciao officer." I say politely. He smiles warmly as he stoops closer to the window. He's young and good looking. But then again, everyone is, I love Italy.

"Buona mam sera. Sir. Sai perché ti ho tirato su? " (Good evening mam. Sir. Do you know why I pulled you over?) He asked.

**DAMON: **

Damn. She was hot when she spoke Italian, not that she isn't hot all the time. Every guys I've ever seen her around notices it and obviously the police officer isn't immune to her, he's been drooling all over glass this whole time. He leans a little too far into the cab to be socially acceptable and turns up the charm. I scoff as I watch him. His brown eyes appraise me as they size me up, I roll my eyes at him.

"limite di velocità?(Speed limit)She asks guiltily. He nods his head yes. "Mi dispiace. Quando si è alla guida di un auto bella come questa, si deve guidare in fretta (I'm sorry. When you are driving a car as beautiful as this one, you have to drive it fast) she said and laughed. The officer's face went blank as she kept laughing. He was probably stunned by her, wouldn't be the first time it's happened to any male around her, yours truly included.

"Mam comprensibile. Si prega di seguire il limite di velocità, hanno un grande giorno." (Understandable mam. Please follow the speed limit, have a great day.) He said as he smiled and walked back to his car. I chuckle as she starts the ignition back up. I luagh as she looks at me with a confused expression.

"He was really nice. Thank god I didn't want to pay for that ticket." She said smiling; her white teeth making her skin look even darker.

" Oh you don't have to thank me. And yea I wonder why?" I say sarcastically and roll my eyes.

"What is that supposed to mean Salvatore? " She asks innocently, if I didn't know any better I would have thought she was fishing for compliments, but it was obvious she doesn't exude confidence.

"I guess it's a good thing you are a beautiful woman. I've used that excuse on officers before and I've gotten ticketed every time". I say emphasizing my point.

"Please. He was just being nice." she scoffed. If I didn't know she was so insecure, it would sound like she was fishing for compliments, but I know better. I don't get how someone so completely stunning can look in the mirror and cringe.

"You're right Elena, you are an ugly stepmother. What was I thinking?" I say sarcastically "You need to be more confident." I say seriously.

"Sure, you seem to have an overabundance? Lend it to me?" she asks jokingly.

"Please Elena; you are a very beautiful woman, start acting like it." Shit. Why did I say that? That was a bit too far; I glance over to look at her reaction.

She self-consciously turns her head, her thick curtain of hair now serving as a barrier between us undoubtedly hiding her blush. I hated when she looked away, it closed off anything I could read from her face. Her emotions were relatively imperceptible except for her eyes and her blush. Those endless big chocolate eyes, that were now downcast slightly. She doesn't respond well to compliments. It made me angry she was so self-depreciating. I wanted to pull her chin up so she would look at me again but she was driving so I kept my hands to myself.

"Sorry." She said. That got me confused.

"What exits are we meeting Caroline for lunch again?" she asked as the car's speed progressively went up. I must admit, she was a good driver and she knew cars, she got brownie points for this one.

"Oh Barbie, that's right." I say. She nods and drives on. I would never tell her this but she is a good driver, and she's been good to my girl so far. We pull into a small café and park the car; I get out and stretch out my legs. Bad choice wearing a long sleeved shirt today, I unbutton my shirt and take it off from around my shoulders as I walk around the back of the car and pop open the trunk. Out of my bag, I grab a plain white tee-shirt and slide it on. Elena is waiting for me by the front of the car looking pretty uncomfortable. I didn't have to see her to know she was watching. I had decided after she shut me down the first time that she would have to be the one to make the first move, she was complicated and apparently had some demons. I am also a dick so I figured if she wants me, and I know she does, she will come to me. I don't chase girls. But I might have to start; the sexual tension is getting unbearable. And I want nothing more than to have her slims legs wrapped around me. Believe it or not, I actually like her too; I think I could actually consider her a friend. A friend I am extremely sexually attracted to.

"Ready?" she asks, her voice is husky and full of promise. My body reacts instantly like I'm a pubescent little boy with unruly facial hair and too much testosterone for his own good. I nod my head and try to hide the evidence of my arousal; this is what I get for going commando in tight jeans. Caroline was already seated at a table on the patio with her pink sunglasses on and sipping some practically nonalcoholic fruit drink, the girl was Malibu Barbie.

"Elena!" she squeal, her voice breaks a few blood vessels in my head. It's actually quite hard to tell Caroline's voice from an aneurism.

"Hey Care." She says warmly as she smiles back. I pull out a chair for her and she sits after saying thank you. Caroline gives me a curious look before making her feeble attempt at a one liner.

"Damon I'm surprised you came out of your cave." she says seriously. I roll my eyes at her effort. Piss poor.

"Who let you out of the Malibu Beach house Barbie? Did Ken break up with you for another man?" I asked faking sadness. Elena snickers and Caroline ignores me. As much as we go back and forth and I want to rip her head off sometimes, I like Caroline. She is a control freak and insecure but she is nothing short of entertaining.

Elena and I were bickering about her driving when the waitress comes around and gets our drink orders. She is a short woman with her hair cut quite short. She spends a little too much time on me buttering me up and a not enough on everyone else. It is pretty entertaining watching a woman trying to pick me up though, happens all the time but not when I'm with other people, let alone women. Elena looks amused and is smirking; Caroline is wearing a mask of similar temper.

"Borbone. Il migliore che avete." (Bourbon, the best you have.) She nods and flutters her eyelashes before flipping her short, greasy brown hair over her shoulder. Caroline gets another stupid drink and gives me a new thing to make fun of her for, she makes it too easy. We sit in comfortable conversation, well Caroline and Elena do, going on about fashion week and blah blah blah. I just want to go clubbing, see Elena all dolled up in some big heels and a short dress and get drunk. I laugh as I think of Stefan at home, sitting all lonely pondering his existence. He was all for coming with us until he found out Caroline was staying with us, the kid was such a pussy it was actually humorous. I'm almost positive he is in love with the girl, so naturally he avoids her like she's a leper. I can't prove she's not; I've never gotten close enough to her to look but still. What can I say; I guess I got the smooth part of the gene pool. Stefan got the pool noodles and the floaties.

I took a swig of the Bourbon and let it slowly burn down my throat and heat me up.

"I'm telling you Michael Kors is going to be big in the U.S this year. Watch." Elena says. I don't know who the fuck this Michael is but it's boring me.

Caroline. Shakes her head in disagreement. She starts to argue back but I loudly clear my throat.

"You both have all day to talk about skirts, dresses, tampons and heels. I'm more concerned about what we are doing after dark."

"Ooooh! Yes!" Caroline agrees excitedly clapping her hands together like a toddler, there definitely was a resemblance.

"Like what?" Elena adds tentatively.

"Drinking, dancing, clubs the works. It's Milan; and my apartment is in the city center. It would be a sin not to get shit faced." I said shrugging, that was pretty much the only reason I bought it in that location, walk three blocks and you are at clubs and bars.

"I don't know." Elena said glancing from me to Caroline.

"Come on. Take the stick out of your ass. You can go absolutely insane if you want, my lips will stay sealed. And It's not like anyone is going to remember you." I added.

"Whatever, I'll worry about it then." She concluded, sliding her Ray Bans on.

Our food came soon enough and damn it was good. I really do appreciate food; if it weren't for my "expectations at home" I would be in culinary school getting a degree. Can't always get what you want, or for me even remotely what you want. I picked up the check and smirked as I saw the phone number printed on the bill. I however compensated with a generous tip. They both thanked me and we stood up to exit.

"So Elena, you can ride with me." Caroline said. Well that won't do, there was still too much I didn't know about her.

" Ehhh, I'm actually driving that beautiful car over there so I think I'll pass Care. Why doesn't Damon join you?" She asks.

Oh hell no. Six and a half more hours of Blondie's' nonstop talking and I would lynch myself. Plus road trips are more fun in fast cars.

"No no no no. Have I mentioned no? My car needs supervision. You are going to have to ride solo. Suck it up Barbie, you can sing to Taylor Swift if nobody's with you."

She huffed and mumbled something unintelligible but agreed to meet us at the apartment, she drove like a maniac in her little hybrid car but I'm still sure our horse power would beat her leaf power. I was determined to get Elena talking.

"I think I'll take this shift." She says as she gracefully slides into the car. "This car is kinda my thing." She joked.

"What exactly is your thing Elena? What do you do other than save golden retriever puppies from fires and donating your blood to the Red Cross?" She giggled and tossed a chunk of her shiny hair over her shoulder, it smelled like lavender and vanilla. It was very clean and soft, very her.

"I don't know." She shrugs as we duck into the car. She starts it up and pulls out of the narrow parking lot flawlessly.

"I like fixing things. I enjoy figuring things out. That's why I like fixing cars. I can pretty much fix everyone else's problems but my own." She trailed off. I sat quietly letting her go on if she wanted, it would be her choice.

"I can seem to help everyone else out all the time but I am an invalid when it comes to me." She says sounding disgusted with herself.

"Trust me Elena, I love watching people in self-imposed downward spirals but you have nothing to be spiraling about. You seem pretty put together." I say trying to bring light to her pity party.

"Yea." She scoffs. "Right. I've used you as a tissue box twice since I've been here. Which is beyond embarrassing and I once again apologize for, I'm a mess." She says sadly.

"You are kind of a mess aren't you? Why? If you don't mind me asking. You don't have to answer." I said cautiously. I knew she was guarding something, she was so skittish and emotionally fragile at times and then so strong and empowered at others. Something set her off. Something traumatic. She stays quiet for a few seconds and as I'm forming an apology she answers quickly.

"I came out of a bad relationship. My ex fucked me up." She said harshly, she left it at that. _Mason. _That was the name she whispered before she passed out that time. What had the bastard done to her?

Her thin arm reaches out in front of her and flips on the radio and turns the music up, effectively ending our conversation.

*******ATTENTION. I TOTALLY FREAKED THE FUCK OUT OVER THE FINALE AND WROTE A ONE SHOT OF DAMONS POV CALLED "ALWAYS DOESN'T MEAN FOREVER". WE'VE WAITED FOUR SEASONS FOR THIS SHIT, MY BODY IS STILL SHAKING. IF YOU HAVE TIME PLEASE CHECK IT OUT.*****************


	16. Match Maker Fiddler on the Roof Style

HOLY SHIT GUYS! I look at my email when I wake up in the morning and more than 50 new followers/favorites/ reviews were in my inbox! Between all three of my stories! I practically had a heart attack of joy from it. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

p.s: look at me go one new story and two updates in two days review if you love me

Emily

I quietly drummed my fingers on the steering wheel and huffed as I looked at the gas gauge. I couldn't put it off anymore; she needed to be filled up. This car has shitty gas mileage; this is the second time Ive had to fill it up today. It was almost eight at night when I pulled into a gas station to fill the beauty up. Elena was curled up in a ball napping, her face was relaxed in only a way sleep could bring. Her long eyelashes grazed her cheeks and her even breathing was soothing. I do my best to get out of the car quietly and shut the door.

I watch her move slightly from behind the glass as I pump the gas. I learned a lot about her tonight, mostly useless information like her favorite flowers and somehow what laundry detergent she uses, but not enough to sate my curiosity. Especially the comment about her ex. I knew there was more to the story, I had made myself accessible. If she wanted to spill, she would. Wow, I sound weird thinking that. I sound almost considerate, probably from sleep deprecation. People moods usually worsen when they don't get sleep but I guess mine can't get any worse so it gets better. I'm just feeling so backwards lately, I've had so little control. Was I having some mid-mid life crisis or something? I roll my eyes and shove my credit card in the pump; I close the gas cap and climb back into the car. Only an hour until we would get to Milan, then I could sleep all day. I started the car and carefully pulled out, being a lawful citizen I followed the speed limit, I didn't want to wake her up. About a half hour in when I'm practically falling asleep she tosses on her side and lets out a small whimper.

She tosses again and ends up facing me. Her peaceful expression was replaced by something else. Her brow was furrowed and her mouth was set in a frown. Deep creases in her forehead formed as she muttered unintelligent words. Nothing I could understand, I briefly considered waking her up but decided to let her rest. She tossed again in troubled sleep before a low whine came out of her mouth. She scrambled around, it was almost like my hand was not attached to my body as It extended and gently pushed her hair back from her face. I don't know what compelled me to do it, but I didn't want to see her struggling like this, even if she was only dreaming. She stills under my touch, her silky hair falls around her face in a curtain. I meticulously push it back with one hand. Her expression changes from a pained one to a mask of indifference and peace. I slowly return my hand to the steering wheel confused as fuck. With my hands back to myself I can think clearly. Why did I do that? Why am I taking so much care with her? Another person I would have just shoved them awake.

She made me feel protective. I didn't like it, it's like I've forsaken my badass nature. After another half hour of contemplation I finally pull into the parking garage at the base of the building. The city is lit up and teeming with life. This is where I like to be, things move fast here.

I gently nudge her awake and she mumbles words of protest. I walk around the car and open her door up for her.

"Elena. We are here." I say quietly and awkwardly. She climbs out of the car and I chuckle as her stands up straight. "Your hair looks terrible." I comment.

"Shut up." She mumbles as she stumbles towards the elevator.

I unlock the trunk and grab our bags and join her. I guided her into the building and to the elevator. I pressed the button for the seventeenth floor; she wavered back and forth and eventually leans against my frame for support, her body still lethargic from sleep, her back pressing against my front. I ignored the way her skin felt on mine and the burning path it left behind. And like a man who has never touched a woman before, I stand straight with my arms glued to my side feeling extremely unsure.

Her eyes lids droop like they are carrying the world's weight as they droop until they are almost closed; for the second time tonight, I run my hand through her soft hair and quietly tell her we are almost there. I walk through the foyer and unlock the door, guiding Elena through the entrance the best I can while toting our bags along behind us. This place still smells new. She walks over to the nearest couch and falls onto it, instantaneously falling asleep.

I smirk at her and walk back to shut the heavy wooden door. I flick on the rest of the lights and walk about the apartment, untouched since about two years ago. I walk into the kitchen and open the fridge. Thank god someone had stocked it for our arrival, I was not in the mood to go out and get food. I pull out some antipasto and a beer and plop down on the couch opposite Elena. I turn on the T.V and wait for Caroline to show up.

The bitch was a crazy driver and showed up only forty five minutes later. In that time I had already stowed and unpacked my bags as well as made up beds for Elena, Caroline and myself. She swung the door open, and started complaining loudly.

"I hate driving in the city!" She whines loudly. I shhh her and nod towards Elena. She looks at her and nods.

"I need a shower, some food and a bed right now or I'm not going to be pleasant tomorrow." She said rolling in her pink luggage. I roll my eyes at her.

"You're going to be a crazy control freak anyway. That's like totally your thing." I mock. She scowls and stamps off in the direction of the bedrooms toting her ridiculously girl bag with her. I yawn and walk over to lock the door, on my way back I stop. I stand in front of Elena's peacefully sleeping body contemplating what I should do. She doesn't exactly look comfortable so I bend down and gently pick her up bridal style and carry her to her room. I remind myself to tell her she needs to eat a cheese burger, she is too light. I place her down gently on the soft sheets and slide her shoes off her feet. I throw the thin blanket on top of her and am rewarded with a subconscious smile that graces her face and leaves me speechless. I stand over her and smile genuinely as she snuggles into the sheets. I turn around and shut off the lamp I had put on and walk towards the door.

Caroline stood leaning against the door frame wearing a curious expression. One of her thin eyebrows rose as she looked judgingly at me with her blue eyes.

"What?" I asked annoyed as she continued to appraise me. I walked past her and into the hall, closing the door behind me.

"You like her don't you?" she asks. I scoff.

"No I don't. I've been known to be decent once every hundred years or so." I say rolling my eyes.

"No." she continues. "You were staring at her all lunch, fought with me so you could drive with her and you just did something incredibly decent. You like her." Caroline said. I didn't answer her; it must look like that to someone outside of us.

It's true, I stare at her, and she's beautiful. Yea I wanted to find out more about her, and I feel like a fucking marshmallow for putting her to bed. Shit maybe I do like her. Not like a fuck and leave, maybe like a date. Shit.

"Whatever Caroline. You're just trying to find entertainment in my life because yours is so pathetic." I said, I can't decide who's pissing me off more, her or myself.

"Whatever you say Damon. She's my friend, don't pull any stupid shit or I'll cut off your balls." She said as she walked across the hallway. Before closing the door she gave me a stern look. I huffed as I remembered I left the Bourbon in the trunk of the car. I walked into my large room and plopped on the bed, eventually falling asleep.

**CAROLINE POV:**

Ivory fabric with white mesh sleeves, nude would work too. Synched at the waste with slight beading on the neckline, which would be sweetheart. I'd let the beading gradually fall, dispersing so it looks like its trickling not falling, trickling. Maybe an empire waistline? No, A line. Either one would work I guess. Whatever, I could figure that out later. A sash of silk matching the same nude color, after letting it flow freely. Maybe a little bit of tool to give it body. I sat tapping my pencil on one of my many sketchbooks as some minor designer's show went on. This was a small unimportant show so Elena and I had gotten close seats, front row. I however was too preoccupied with ideas and Elena was taking diligent notes for me, what a doll. She had her hair pulled back in a bun today, I was totally jealous of her bone structure. If she was in the fashion field I totally would have hired her, she's got a killer fashion sense. And I was totally eyeing her valentine skirt; she had it belted with a bow and with a sweet white shirt. I pull at my own shirt and wrap my blazer around my shoulders, I don't know what it is with these Italians with their air conditioning, it's subzero in here.

"Is it bad that I like your stuff more then I like this?" Elena whispers as she leans in towards me. I wear a triumphant smile on my face as I agree with her. We both giggle and continue watching the show.

I totally agreed with her. Don't get me wrong, some of it was beautiful. The rest of it however was amateur hour. Maybe I was just being a snob; just kidding I am a snob. I've come to terms with it. I looked at my watch and rolled my eyes, only forty five more minutes of this shit. In my peripheral vision I watch Elena sigh and put her head in her hands.

I nudge her shoulder a little bit and she looks up at me. "Wanna skip and go get a burger? I'm dying of boredom and I'm starving."

"Thank God yes." She said and packed up her stuff. I chuckled as we stood up from our street and made our way to the exit getting dirty looks from everyone.

We walked out into the sun and my eyes adjusted. "Damn. It was like a cave in there." I said giggling.

"I know. And they all looked like cave women wearing table cloths. That was ridiculous." She added. We walked out of the side alley and laughed.

"It's high fashion Elena, get used to it." I say sarcastically as we cross the street. I think there was a bar this way, I just wanted something fried that would throw my calorie count out the window for good today. After a few blocks walking in the city we came across a grill of some sort. We get seated quickly and sit down.

"So what time is the next show?" I asked as we sat down in a booth. Elena dug through her bag until she found her schedule and flipped through the pages.

"That was our last one for today, ending on an interesting note." She said smiling. A very hot waiter stopped at our table and took our drink orders. Believe it or not, they don't know what a long island iced tea is so I settled for a beer. The waiter took his time with Elena and was pretty much undressing her with his eyes. If he wasn't so hot it'd be creepy. When he left I beamed up at Elena.

"What?"

"Don't what me. He was totally flirting with you and he was smoking hot! And you just were completely oblivious!" I said excitedly! Oh how I loved playing match maker! She rolled her eyes.

"Sure Care. I'm not much of a flirt." She says.

"Well you should be. You need a little fun in your life." I said seriously. It was true; she was all serious all the time. She needed someone to make her more fun, I know she could be. And then I had a thought, who better to bring it out of her then the life of the party himself. I felt myself get more and more excited as I ran through it in my head, I should have chosen match making as my profession. Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert! He's totally into her I can see it, he acts different around her. Almost good, and she needed a little spontaneity and humor, a little party. I try to suppress the gasp, but it comes out of me. I beam at her excitedly.

"Uh oh. I know that look. What are you scheming in that head of yours." Elena asked warily.

"Oh nothing I'm just thinking. SO…What's going on between Damon and you?" I ask forwardly, she seems confused by my question. I wonder if they have been hooking up, I would kill her if they were and she didn't tell me.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh come on that crazy sexual tension the longing looks. I see it Elena. And let me tell you, you should go for it." I egged her on.

" Woah woah wait Caroline. We aren't like that. I mean he hasn't tried anything with me since the first time. We're just friends." She assures me.

Oh sure, it's always the "only friends" card and then I have a wedding invitation the next year, that's what happened with my high school friend Cheryl. Damon and Elena were both in denial.

"Alright Elena all I'm saying is that he's good with you and I'm pretty sure he likes you. You need to have some fun and Damon is really hot and he can be fun but whatever, it's up to you. I'm a pretty good wing woman too so just let me know." I finished putting my hands up to show I was done.

"He is gorgeous isn't he." She giggled. "I don't know Care, I like him as a friend and I'm sure that feeling is reciprocated. That's it though." She said as the waiter placed her drink in front of her and we both ordered. THANK GOD they had a hamburger and fries. That's one of the biggest things I miss about the U.S, my family and food. There aren't a lot of places here that will bring you pizza at any hour, even in the morning. Trust me on that one I have tried.

It was almost four when we had finished our food and began walking around Milan. It was beautiful, especially as the sun was setting. We walked through shops and around the streets for a few hours until I wanted to take my freaking death trap heels off. Elena and I had a lot of fun together; she was quickly becoming my closest friend. We were laughing about something as we walked into the huge apartment. The place was massive and I could appreciate how nice it was much more in the daylight. The Salvatore's don't do anything small, those rich bastards. I blush when I think of Stefan, sweet little Stefan. Music is blaring as we walk past the foyer and into the sitting area. Some delicious smell assaults me and I'm practically drooling. Damon is dancing around the kitchen provocatively cooking. As much as I may want to slap him across the face sometimes, he was a hell of a cook.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask as he spins towards us.

"Cooking." He does that obnoxious eye thing. I roll my eyes. But damn it smells good it been four hours since I've eaten, aka my body is starting to shut down.

"What are you making?" Elena asks as she sits down in a stool by the stove top.

"The body of Christ, what does it look like?" He said sarcastically. Elena chuckled and rolled her eyes. I studied them from afar with a small smile on my face.

"Parmesan something. Not chicken, so veal?" she asks questioningly.

"Ding ding ding." He says as he puts his sauce covered spoon in the air.

"I like your style." She says approvingly giggling. Oh yea, this little thing they have is totally two sided. I sashayed out of the kitchen to give them some space and to prepare for the night that Damon had promised me yesterday. After a shower and a robe I decide to once again grace everyone with my presence. The table was being set as I walked out and took my rightful seat at the head of the table. Of course I got a dirty look from it but that was to be expected. Dinner went smoothly and freaking deliciously, but I was getting bored. I have this issue where I can't stay in one place for more than five minutes, call it OCD but it was kicking in. As we cleared the dishes from the table I sighed. I sighed louder, but nobody commented. I finally sighed as loud as I could. Finally Damon answered.

"What Blondie? You are hogging all the oxygen in here. What could you possibly want?" He asked.

"Well I want to go out."

"Then shut up and get ready." He said with an eye roll. I turned to Elena and smiled.


	17. Feel Like Letting Go

Can you tell that I have more time on my hands yet? I've updated twice already this weekend as well as write a one shot. I can't believe this is the 17th chapter I've written, I originally planned on a 20 chapter story, but I have SO much more planned for all of my characters. Thanks for reading everyone and the continued support, you guys are the best! And if you haven't I encourage you guys to go ahead and read my one shot** "Always Doesn't Mean Forever" **which is Damon's take on the final scene with both Damon and Elena. If you feel like dropping me a review please do! It makes me feel like a kid on Christmas morning.

Thanks for reading everyone,

Emily

"Caroline no." I said as I awkwardly pulled down the short red dress of Caroline's she had thrown me in. Honestly, it was short enough to be a shirt. There was no way I would be able to wear this with heels and walk without giving everyone the money shot.

"Come on Elena, you look hott!" She whines as she zips up her own dress, its electric blue and makes her eyes look even bluer. Her blond hair is curled neatly and she seems to be done getting ready, so luckily I get ALL of her attention.

"Look in the mirror and see for yourself" she says and leads me to the floor length mirror in the bathroom in the hall. My black heels click loudly on the wooden floor and I feel bad for the apartment under us. The door of the bathroom is closed, so Caroline knocks aggressively on it. It swings open, quickly.

"What?" Damon asks with an annoyed tone glaring at Caroline.

She steps aside and raises her arm for me to step forward. I carefully step into the doorway and am greeted by a very sharp looking Damon. He is wearing a crisp black button down and black pants, his hair is hanging slightly on his forehead but is messily and meticulously styled. He was freshly shaven judging by the razor sitting in on of the sink ledges and his smooth pale skin. His blue eyes stayed glued to mine as I struggled to find my voice.

"Sorry. Can I use the mirror please? I just need to prove a point that this dress is too short." I said seeming to remember my purpose as I stood awkwardly.

"Oh please" Caroline said as she pushed her way past Damon. He stepped aside to let us pass him. I walked up to the mirror only to prove my point.

"Like I said Caroline, this is too much. Waaaay too short for me." I pulled it down again and turned to see the back. Not only was it really short but there was almost no back to it at all. It scooped all the way down to almost the small of my back. I would feel way too self-conscious in this dress; there was no way I could pull it off.

"Damon will you please tell Elena she looks good and it's not too short" Caroline said eyeing Damon with a small smirk on her face that I didn't fully understand. I watch his face in the mirror, he chuckles and I turn to face him.

"Oh it's way too short." He agreed, as he looks at me from head to toe and back up again.

"See!" I said to Caroline. She pouts and crosses her arms on her chest.

"But I never said you didn't look incredible Elena." My name rolled off of his tongue and his eyes smoldered into mine. We hold eye contact for a second before the intensity of his stare got to be too much for me. I suddenly felt really overheated.

"Um hello." Caroline said forwardly as she waved her hand between us. Damon rolled his eyes and smirked, turning back to the sink and stowing his razor back in a bag.

"Sorry." I mumbled as we both walked out of the bathroom and back to my room. "Sorry care, Damon said it was too short. 2 beat 1."

"Yea he also said you look incredible. Come on Elena tonight is about fun and you are bound to get more than one bite if the bate looks this good." Caroline said and I chuckled. She just used a fishing analogy.

I growl at her and grab my leather jacket from my luggage as well as my makeup bag and plop down across from the small mirror. I put on my usual dark makeup. About fifteen minutes later the three of us are walking out of the apartment entrance on the street. It's dark out but the streets are flooded with life and light, car headlights, the neon signs and the street lights shine down on our backs as we cross the busy streets with other people out with similar goals, except I don't really know what my goal is tonight.

We arrive at some club and we walk right past the line of waiting people and up to the bouncer who slaps Damon on the shoulder in a familiar way. And if my translation is correct, Damon and the man are talking about the owner of the club, who he apparently knows. He removes the velvet rope from the metal pole and Damon cockily ushers us in front of him, I roll my eyes at him and step ahead. Holy shit its dark, those night vision goggles Jeremy got me for my birthday when I was ten would have been useful. The house music was so loud that the floor was practically shaking. The hall was relatively cramped and there were people against the wall doing god knows what. Once we got to the bar area it opened up into a huge room filled with people dancing and drinking. I felt a wave of anxiety sweep over me at the amount of people. We all walk over to the bar and order drinks. I nervously fidget in my seat and clasp my hands together.

"Hey" Damon yells over the loud music and nudges my arm.

"What?" I reply yelling back.

"Don't be so..." He shouts unintelligibly.

"What?"

He pulls me closer to him and cups his hand over my ear. I can feel his warm breath on me and his proximity makes my body catch fire, a slow burn.

"Don't be so uptight. Let go. Take a 5 minute time out. Have some fun." He speaks in my ear and pulls back. The dim light shines against his blue eyes making them look cobalt. I nod my head in agreement and order a real drink.

"Shot?" I ask as I turn to Damon on my left. He willingly takes the shot of Jack and clinks glasses with me before we simultaneously swallow down the shot.

I slam the shot glass on the table ready for another, the bartender reaches to fill it and I grab his wrist, "Lascia la bottiglia favore!" I shouted,(leave the bottle!) he nods.

If I'm going to make bad choices, might as well do it to the best of my ability. I fill the glasses up again and turn to my right to where Caroline is to offer her a shot, she is already taking to some guy and is full on flirting, hair flips and all. So I spin back to Damon and take it with him. After about for more repetitions I'm feeling a buzz. I physically feel my shoulders start to relax and the tension I felt when I arrived was long gone.

"You should be on the floor." He yells into ear as he smiles. I smirk mischievously as I take my jacket off and lay it on the chair and take the last shot.

"Please! I am not even drunk. My tolerance is, like, way up here." I say as I reach my hand up high and jump as high as my heels will allow me.

"Do you need a bib?" I ask as Damon slowly drinks his. He rolls his eyes and reply's,

"Sorry I can't unhinge my jaw like a snake to consume alcohol." He said defensively.

"Whatever." I reply and walk off towards the dance floor in search of a good time. After I have effectively weaseled my way into the nucleus of the floor, I'm finally feeling the alcohol coursing through my veins and I'm feel like I'm practically invincible.

I stop thinking about what would happen tomorrow and all the repercussions this night would have. For once I just let go of everything. In no time I was jumping to the music and letting my body move. Someone behind grabbed my hips and I turned to face him, he was a tall guy, blond hair and green eyes. He looked like one of those people who would spend a whole week looking for the perfect wave to ride. But he was good looking and I was buzzing so I went with it.

Carpe diem. He grabbed my hips and covered his hands over mine. I suddenly felt really dirty as his body made contact with mine. Like I needed to shower, I didn't really get a good vibe from him.

"I have to use the bathroom!" I yelled as I disappeared into the crowd. Instead of washing the skeevies off of me, I returned to the bar to finish what I started. Three shots later I could have been dancing with a garbage truck driver and I wouldn't have even felt dirty. My eyes scanned the dimly lit room for Care or Damon. I didn't see Damon but Caroline was currently on the dance floor with the same guy she was talking to, things looked pretty heated and I decided to be my own wolf pack. Whoa even my thoughts are drunken. After a few songs of me dancing by myself another fine gentleman grabbed my hand and spun me around. I secretly hoped it was Damon but I was met by a skinny dark haired man. He had extremely eager hands so I pulled slightly away from him until we were not even touching and danced from there. I laughed as the guy danced really poorly obviously trying to impress. He was just lucky that I was drunk enough to put up with this.

I can't even remember the last time I've done something like this. _That's because you never have_ I think. How did they manage to get me out here? After a few songs, I did my best to gradually move away from him. I find myself plopping down for the third time tonight on a bar stool. I only ordered a bottle of mineral water to help me sober up; I would have a hell of a hangover tomorrow.

"So beautiful, what's your name?" A voice like sand paper asked me. I suddenly find myself wishing I head the smooth butterscotch voice that was Damon's. The alcohol makes me brave as I laugh at him. I look up and what do you know, it's the blond haired surfer man. He scoots over a stool and sits on my right.

"Really? That's the best pickup line you have? You obviously aren't very creative you should try Google." I replied. Grateful that he seemed only to speak English, I didn't feel confident slurring drunkenly in Italian at the moment.

He seems takes a back at my retort but a stupid smile that was plastered on his face returns, his eyes are glazed over and drooping. There's nothing worse than a man who can't hold his liquor.

"Well you are the most beautiful woman I've seen tonight so yes." He says confidently. As he leans towards me.

"Well sorry, I have a boyfriend. He should actually be around here somewhere." I lie and look around me like I'm searching for someone.

"Nice try." He points at me. "I've heard that one before." He says. I roll my eyes and take a sip of the water bottle the bartender places in front of me.

"Right here babe." A smooth unmistakable voice calls out and brings goose bumps to my skin. He is always in the right place at the right time. I smile as I pivot in my seat.

"Damon" I say flirtatiously as he takes a few steps towards me smiling, instead of stopping next to me he continues until he's practically in-between my legs. He bends down slightly and presses his lips to mine in a chaste kiss, his finger weave in my hair and I close my eyes. He pulls away after a second but he lingers close to my face until my eyes open. As I open my eyes I stare into his which are staring right back at me. They are alight with humor and blazing. Well shit. I would be too drunk to remember that tomorrow. He gently pulled away and pulled his hands away from my face, he smirked slightly at me.

"Damon, it's about time you got here. " I acted as I pulled on the collar of his shirt, bringing him closer to me. He did that eye thing before answering in a smooth voice.

"Sorry babe, I got held up at work." he smirked as he bent down and whispered in my ear. "It looked like you needed some help" I nodded my head yes as an unconscious shiver ran down my spine.

"It's alright, you're here now. I was getting bored." I said as I motioned to the man sitting next to me.

He smiled deviously as he slung his arm around my shoulder possessively and stood staring at the man next to me. The man was obviously shocked that I wasn't lying, even though I was.

"Can I help you? She's obviously taken. Leave." Damon said territorially as his fingers danced along the bare skin on my shoulders and my back, I fought a shiver of pleasure that it brought me. The other man seemed to sober at Damon's possessiveness and got up from the chair with both hands up defensively. I smiled at him as he took the spot next to me and smirked back at me. I took a sip of my water and was beginning to feel a lot less drunk.

"Why thank you Mr. Salvatore. I do believe I owe you one." I said as I took another sip. He took the bottle from my hands and took a drink for himself and nodded.

"I believe you do. I'm a fan of instant gratification Ms. Gilbert. And it would be rude not to dance you know." He says with a dangerous look in his eyes. Like a vacuum, the air gets sucked out of my lungs as he looks at me waiting. I'm obviously still drunk enough to compare my lack of breath to a vacuum. I briefly think of that weird Dyson one before giggling to myself at my own stupidity. I couldn't tell you my ass from my elbow right now. I nod my head and take his extended hand.

We squeeze through the heavily trafficked area and he leads me to the center of the floor. He pulls on my hand and spins me out. I laugh as I spin in a circle like a little girl as I spin back in he pulls me close to him so the fronts of our bodies are glued to one another. My arms have a mind of their own as they raise and clasp together behind his neck. I close my eyes and let every sound and touch swallow me whole. I'm lost in sensation and it feels so damn good. His hands alternate cupping my face and running down my bare back. As I open my eyes he pulls me even closer to him, our bodies flush against each other. I revel in the feel of his hard plains against my skin.

I smile widely as we continue jumping and grinding against one another. And for once, I just don't care. I'm going to do what I want so when he grabs my hands and spins me around so my back is to his front, I go with it. His hands intertwine with mine as they rest on my hips and I grind into him.

"How do you feel?" He yells into my ear after a few minutes, I spin to face him and I beam in reply.

"I feel good!" I scream and he breaks into a full out toothy smile, the real and completely gorgeous one.

**DAMON P.O.V-**

I smiled back at her just as enthusiastically because seeing her smile like this, made me happy. I wanted to roll my eyes at the thought but it was hard to keep my focus as Elena rubbed her body against mine. She smiled as she jumped around and whipped her long hair in every direction, after about ten minutes more of the pure bliss she and her body brought me, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Hey. Do you want to get out of here?" I asked in her ear. She spun towards me and nodded her head.

"I just have to get my stuff. Where's Caroline?" She yelled, her big brown eyes glowing in the dim lights.

I shrugged, "She can follow the bread crumbs home." I shouted back and she giggled. I took her hand and pulled her with me towards the bar. She grabbed her stuff and we slid out of the club into the darkness. We walked through the narrow hallway and out into the cool night air. We walked past the line of the people waiting to get in when I snapped. I couldn't be away from her anymore, I pushed her into the brick wall in a darkened alley and closed her in with my arms and pressed my hips into hers.

"What is it about you?" I asked as my mouth closed in, only just not coming in contact with the soft skin of her lips.

She gasps and rests her hands on my shoulders. Her fingers pull at my collar bringing my face to hers. I oblige naturally and crush my mouth to hers in a searing kiss. This was not like the soft touch before, this burned my body from the inside out. The fire spread from my mouth down to my finger tips and toes. My hands knotted in her hair as hers clasped around my neck tightly. My tongue traced her bottom lip trying to taste her; she tasted of bourbon and vanilla. Her lips opened and I took the opportunity she gave me, I hungrily took control of her. My hands wandered down her sides and rested on her hips as she tangled her hands in my hair and pulled to the point it was just almost painful. I wanted this and so did she, this wasn't some drunken act, and I saw she wanted this just as much as I do. She pushed off of the wall and pushed me to the opposite alley wall, taking control.

It was beyond hot, her hands moved down to my chest as she pushed herself off of me. My breathing was heavy as I hungrily gazed at her under drooping lids courtesy of lust.

"Let's just get back to the apartment." She said breathlessly in a husky voice. I agreed and tugged her hand, I didn't want to let go of her, I needed contact with her soft skin. I couldn't get enough of her, and the promise of what would happen when we got back had us both practically running. When we made it into the building, we stood quietly waiting for the elevator. Another young couple walked off as we walked in, I didn't wait for the door to close as we backed into the corner of the elevator and continued the assault of one another's mouths. Seventeen floors was a long ride but I was up for the ride tonight. As the bell rang I opened my eyes and finally got a look at her in full lighting, her already full lips were swollen from our aggressive kisses and her eyes were darkened a shade or two with pure lust. We walked into the foyer and I quickly unlocked the door and stumbled in, she giggled as we tipped over onto the nearest couch, with me on the bottom. She opened her eyes as she looked deep into mine and her lips pulled into a seductive smile. My hands ran up the tan smooth skin of her legs and hiked her dress up around her thighs, my hands roaming over my ass.

"Are you sure?" I asked against her skin, fully aware if we went any further I wouldn't be able to stop. She bit her lip as she nodded shyly, my lips cover hers in what must be the thousandth time tonight. I do my best to commit every kiss to memory.

**BOOM. LEFT YOU HANGING! REVIEW IF YOU LIKE OR LEAVE ANY COMMENTS OF QUESTIONS BELOW, I'LL DO MY BEST TO ANSWER **


	18. Eye Opening Figuratively and Literally

_**Keeping the intro short: Thanks for all of your reviews, I'M SO SORRY. Below is some slightly mushy stuff. SORRY **_

_My hands ran up her sides. There was no going back now, she had said yes. I wanted this, she wanted this and it was happening. She straddled me as I pushed the pillows off of the leather couch in a frenzy. She sits up and tosses her hair over her shoulder before grasping the hem of her tight red dress and pulling it over her head. My hands stilled on her sides as I stared at the woman before me. She was in a pair of thin black lace underwear and a matching bra. Her eyes sparkled dangerously as she tossed her thick hair to the side and bent down and began pressing hot open mouthed kisses along my neck and back up to my lips. _

_Her fingers struggle with the buttons on my shirt as she maintains contact with my lips; trying to keep our bodies as close as possible. I grasp onto her tighter and roll us over so I am on top. I quickly remove my own shirt and she pushes me back onto the couch. I'm surprised; we both are trying to fight for control. But if she looks like this than I'll more than gladly sit back and let her dominate me. Her hands run along my bare chest and my breath comes out in a hiss. She smiles deviously as her hands trace the contours of my abs and then moves lower and lower. The feeling of her mouth on my body is consuming and I pull up blank when I try to think of anything else. Her hands are now lingering at my pants line before she pulls her hands away. My hands cup her face and run down squeezing her puffy lips before taking her bottom one between my teeth. I whine like a needy dog and she giggles._

_I swear if there is anything more beautiful than her in her underwear it's her when she is laughing, the two together are a heady combination. She begins the path her fingers just took; only her fingers were replaced with her mouth. She slowly unbuckles my belt and throws it; I'm about ready to combust at the sight. She unzips my fly and seems to be surprised to see that I didn't have underwear on. My dick spills out of my fly and she stoops her head. I feel her warm mouth close around the top and I moan loudly. I've had a lot of sex in my day, but even just her mouth was tearing my control apart. My hands wander to her breasts and I run my hands over the tops of her cups. I flex my hips into her as she takes me deep in her mouth. _

"_Elena" I moan and her gaze flickers up to me. My hands move to her back where I make short work of her bra straps and take it off. I moan again at the combined sight of her almost naked body and the feeling of her mouth on me. I palm her perfect breasts and roll her nipples in my hands and gently pull until they peak. She whines around me and it's all just too much for me._

"_Elena stop. I don't want to finish before we've even started." I hear myself say desperately. She nods as she sits up; I am momentarily stunned at the friction she causes as she sits on my legs. I pull her delicate underwear and they tear from her body. My fingers wander down from her chest to her flat stomach before gently pushing into her dripping core. She lets out a gasp which turns into moans as I begin moving my hand, setting an unforgiving rhythm. Her hips lift and come down on my hands and I curl my fingers in her hitting a sweet spot. _

"_Damon!" she yells breathlessly before grabbing my hand._

"_No, no, no. Stop, stop." She says, sounding like she is trying to convince herself. I find her mouth once more and push her naked body down into the cool leather. I stand and remove my tight pants from my legs and lean over her. Her eyes are black with lust and her skin is flushed with pleasure. As much as I wanted to drink her in and savor every touch, any semblance of control I had vanished when I was around her. She opens her legs widely and I dutifully position myself in front of her. _

I roll over in my bed and grasp the cold sheets at my side with the expectation Elena would be beside me. Upon further inspection of the bed, it was almost like she was never there. The pillow had no indentation and the sheets were not crinkled. I looked around the floor for any evidence of last night such as pants, socks…condoms anything to prove that what happened last night was real. The truth is though, I was having trouble remembering much from last night, and this memory stood out clear. It almost seemed too good to be true. I rolled out of my bed and straight onto the floor, forgetting completely the massive hangover that was currently residing in my head. I stood up way too fast and had to steady myself against the dresser before I walked out into the hallway to find some evidence. I was still wearing my clothes from last night. _It was a dream, _my subconscious tells me, but I shake my head no. I poke my head in Elena's room to see her passed out completely. I head straight for the entrance to where I had thrown her on the couch. There were no scattered pillows, belts or torn underwear. I plopped down on the couch and put my head in my hands. It was a mother fucking dream. Just my luck, well lack of luck. I stand up from the couch and angrily slap a pillow before walking into the kitchen. First things first I needed to get rid of this hangover. I went into the fridge and poured a small glass of juice and downed it quickly before grabbing a water bottle and walking back to my room in search of some pain killers.

I went into the in suite bathroom and stared into the mirror. My face was flushed from the glorious dream I had just woken up from. Plot twist, I didn't sleep with Elena. I looked at myself in the mirror and laughed. My hair was matted with sweat and I was still wearing my clothes from last night, I was obviously too tired to take them off. I ignore the pounding in my head and I flip on the shower and rummage through the medicine cabinet for some kind of pain relief. I take two Advil and palm another two before I walk back into the hall. With the water bottle in one hand and the pills in the other, I gently push open Elena's door and place them on the night table in plain sight. I smile as she grunts something unintelligible in her sleep. I quietly close the door behind me before going back into my room and stripping down.

I stand under the nozzle and wash the sweat from my skin simultaneously trying to piece together the puzzle that was last night. I remember dancing with some girl, seeing some guy talking to Elena and getting really angry. As I walked over, I heard her say something about her boyfriend and I decided it would be my charity work to play the part. So I did, flawlessly. And if I was being truthful, I let myself pretend for a moment, just a moment that she was mine. It was a damn good moment. I remembered kissing her lightly on the lips and wanting to do so much more. I should have, but it wouldn't have been fair. I want Elena, and when I finally get her, I want her to be completely conscience and willing. I would never want to take advantage of her or take that choice away from her. I remember us dancing with one another, our bodies grinding as we clung to each other. Only pulling away as Caroline came up to us on the dance floor and told us she would see us in the morning as she ran off with some guy. Only a few minutes later we both walked home not touching once and went into our own bedrooms for the night.

I grew more and more frustrated as I sat under the hot stream of water thinking, about her. She was making me confused, it wasn't just this dream that had me in a tizzy, it was what I wanted from her. I was the kind of guy who never had girlfriends, my bed was rarely empty but it was because I had never been able to commit. I had never really cared about anyone, but here I was trying to win the approval of a woman. She wasn't like the rest of them though; she was one that deserved to be won over. She was so caring and compassionate, not to mention drop dead gorgeous. And that's when I realized it; I didn't just want her body. I wanted her approval, I wanted all of her. I wanted to be the reason she laughed, I wanted to be the one to make her smile, I wanted her to cry on my shoulder and wrap her arms around me when she wanted comfort. I wanted memories of us together; I wanted us to be together. I want Elena to be mine. The man who didn't date and didn't care found himself caring and wanting nothing more than to make a girl his own. I felt something inside me tighten as I thought of her and realized what was happening. I was falling in love with Elena; it was more inevitable than tax returns. I rinse the shampoo out of my hair as my thoughts swirl around her relentlessly.

I wasn't there just yet but I saw how easy it would be to love her. She was the perfect woman; she knew cars, she was funny and she was kind. You'd have to be Stevie Wonder to not see she was perfection. The more I thought about it, the more concrete it became but also the worse I felt, because I could never be enough for a girl like her, she was good. And I was not. She was selfless and I had earned the nickname "self-serving psychopath". I got out of the shower more frustrated than I was when I got in and wrapped a towel around my waste.

As I stepped outside into my bedroom a large clatter came from the down the hall and I rolled my eyes. No doubt Caroline did something stupid. I stroll into the kitchen and see both Caroline and Elena on their hands and knees cleaning up what looks like a broken lamp.

"Shit." Caroline said as she picks up the shards of ceramic and glass and throws them into the trash can.

"Well what do we have here?" I asked as I made my presence known.

"Caroline was trying to sneak into her room and bypass the walk of shame." Elena said as she continued cleaning and looked up.

"Shit" she said as she looked up from her hands her eyes ran down my chest. I smirked at her. She was attracted to me too.

"My body is a gift from god I know." I said as I raised my eyebrows. She cradled her hand to her chest.

"Uhhh no Fabio, I cut my hand. Take the testosterone down a notch and hand me that dish towel." She raises a bloody hand and points to the dish towel lying on the sink. I grab it and squat down next to her and hand her the towel. She gingerly wraps it in the towel and pushes down on it. She winces but doesn't move it.

"So Caroline how was your night? Busy?" I ask as she throws a broken piece of porcelain at me. She's too easy to read and I duck out of the way smirking.

"I had sex okay. I had sex and it was great. Now everyone let's move on, there are more important things to deal with such as Elena's bloody hand and the fact that I don't clean things up ever, but here I am cleaning this shit up, and I'm still hung over and I'm tiered. Really God Damn teired." She whined.

Caroline was in full out bitch mode. The two of laughed at her as she dramatically huffed and threw her arms in the air.

"Is that it? Or do you want to add that you chipped a nail and your hair looks too blond today?" I asked. She stood up and flipped me off before stalking out of the room.

"Put on some clothes you Neanderthal, this isn't a brothel." She yells as she exits earning a collective chuckle at how frazzled she was.

"She's has such a calming presence." Elena said sarcastically making me smile. She throws the last of the glass into the trashcan, but some small shards remain on the floor.

"Hey come on, I'll fix you up." I offer as I grab her good hand and pull her up. I carefully maneuver my way around the pieces still remaining on the floor and lead her into my bedroom and into the bathroom.

"Sit up there" I point to the ledge. I walk back out if the bathroom and drop my towel and quickly dress in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, I had no plans to go out today with the massive hangover I was currently sporting and went with the comfy stuff today.

I walk back into the bathroom and smile at the sight of her. Her long legs swing like a child's off the counter. She's wearing her short flannel sleeping shorts. Her hair is tied up messily in a bun. Her face is bare of makeup and she looks adorable.

"Alright let's see the damage." I say as I gently lift the towel. A deep scathe in her palm flows out crimson blood.

"Yea you got a gusher. We might have to amputate." I joke and she giggles and nudges my shoulder.

I opened the medicine cabinet to my right and took out a roll of gauze and tape. I delicately take her hand in mine and wrap it once around.

"I can do it." She said as I rolled my eyes, she didn't like getting taken care of, but I don't care. I want to take care of her.

"I'm perfectly capable. So have fun last night drunkey?" I asked. She smiled and closed her eyes covering them with one hand before groaning and pulling it back.

"I told you I could hold my alcohol." She says confidently.

"Oh yea you can hold your alcohol. You also dance like a maniac." That was my less than subtle approach of bringing up that we dirty danced together last night, and judging by the blush that colored her face she remembered it.

"Shut up. I was good, and I'm not the only guilty party present." She poked me with her pointer finger. I ripped off a chunk of tape and placed it on the bandage. When I was done I gently brought her palm up to my mouth and I placed a gentle kiss on it. Her eyes burned into mine, for a few moments we just stared at one another.

"Why do you do that?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"Do what?" I replied as I backed up and gave her some space to hop off the counter. I picked up the tape and cotton roll and placed it back in the cabinet.

"Your weird eye thing and your eye contact." Wow. She was especially fiery this morning. I chuckle as I look down and back up at her.

"That's the only way I know what you are thinking is by your eyes and when you blush, that's why. But that's the only reason, other than that they are just remind me of shit." I replied, my voice dripping with sarcasm. _It has nothing to do with the fact that they are beautiful and I sometimes lose my train of thought when I look into them_ I think. She hops off of the counter and I walk out into the main bedroom area. I plop on my bed expecting her to leave but she follows suit and drops down right next to me.

**I know you hate me, I know. But trust me, I hate it too. I just wanted it to be real for them. All of this stuff is build up. So when it ACTUALLY happens, your minds will be blown. P.s we are almost at 100 reviews! YAY! I'm once again sorry for the pain I have put you through.**

**I promise you we ARE getting somewhere. **


	19. Nightmare Personified

**HELL YEA, WE BROKE 100 REVIEWS ( INSERT DAMON'S SHIRTLESS DANCE HERE) THANKS FOR THE CONSTANT SUPPORT GUYS! ENJOY THE CHAPTER! THANKS FOR READING! I know this chapter is short but it was exhausting to write, I hope you don't mind it. **

**EMILY**

I'd like to take this opportunity to clear something up. It's all a lie what they say, about your life flashing before your eyes. I've almost died twice and both times it was the little things that come to mind. Like as I was lying on my bedroom floor looking at the scratches and nooks in the dark wood. There was a story behind every scratch on the floor, a memory, a piece of me and my family. Every stressful day I had at school that resulted in me throwing my back packs and binders, every childhood story like when I dragged the chair across the floor to try to tie my tinker bell doll to the fan blade so she could fly. How Jeremy slipped when he was wearing socks and knocked out a tooth on the floor when he was only ten. I watched as all the memories, stories and events were masked by a murky stream of crimson blood, soaking into those stories and polluting them, tainting them. Drowning them in inky darkness to a point of little distinguishability between reality and fantasy, life and death. My eyes squeeze shut as my body goes catatonic with shock. The metallic smell of flesh spilt blood fills the room and my head spins with vertigo. This was too god damn painful to be death, there was no light before me or ANY semblance of peace. I embraced the darkness as I prayed for death to come to me. I suddenly gain back sensation and groan in protest. Why do I get to live? Just let me die.

My eyes snap open as they assess the scene before me. In my peripheral vision I see his body slumped on the floor unmoving, he deserved to live. I should be the one dead, he should have lived and been haunted by the memory of me every day. Death was too easy. But then again, I haven't met a person who has practically swallowed a bullet and came back to tell about it.

I beg my eyes to look anywhere but to the floor next to me. A pool of his dark blood inches its way towards mine. His blood is so dark it looks black and the irony and poetry of it is not lost on me, dark blood for a dark soul. I try to move, to pull myself away but I can't. With every breath I take it feels like my lungs are collapsing. I wheeze and place my hands on the wood paneling and slowly drag myself away from Mason's lifeless body. My stomach screams in protest but I ignore the pain and figure if I'm going to die, I'm not going to die next to him like he had planned. My lungs wheezed and breath thinned, becoming more and more shallow.

My hands scratch and pull at the wood dragging myself forward and leaving streaks of blood behind on the memories of anything and everything before him. I crawl past the shiny revolver that is splattered with blood and choke out a struggled cry. My eyes fill with tears and I kick it away to the other side of the room and instantly regret it. I yelp from the shooting pain in my stomach and bite on my lip until it draws blood to hold back a wail. My head swims with vertigo as I violently get sick. My tears and blood coat my hands as I drag myself to my door. I pray that the neighbors had overheard and had called the police that way Jenna and Jer wouldn't have to find my dead body. I slowly slip into darkness as I finally give into death, my last thoughts as I heard the police sirens coming down my block was burn in hell Mason.

" Joe get the oxygen and bring the stretcher up. Call base, tell the ER to prep for surgery. Double laceration with 22. Caliber bullets found on scene, one appears to be in the stomach and the other in the chest area. Victim is unconscious and breathing shallowly." A serious and authoritative voice calls out.

"Yes sir." Another replies loudly almost in my ear. A hand roams over the front of my body and pokes at my ribs. I try to swat the hand away but it doesn't move. Wow, you'd think God would be a little more considerate and give me some space, I just got here. Maybe I wasn't in heaven. Was this hell? I feel fingers prodding at my side and a sharp shooting pain in my stomach. Yep, definitely hell.

"Paramedics to base! double gunshot victim, one dead at the scene, unconscious. Female about twenty, ER team prep for surgery. Lacerations to the abdomen and chest. All units on standby!" The voice croacked. A disembodied voice replied through what must have been a walkie talkie.

"Honey. If you can hear me I need you to squeeze my hand as hard as you can." The voice cooed in my hear calmly as they slipped their hand into mine. I must be alive. I squeeze their hand with all my might.

"Good Job sweet heart. We are taking you to the hospital. Try to open your eyes."

My body shakes painfully as I'm loaded on to the stretcher and brought down the stairs of my house. My eyes refused to open and I watched it replay like a movie in my head, no matter how much I prayed it would end. It never did.

"YOU DID THIS. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY WE CAN BE TOGETHER NOW" he roared angrily. I had found him here in my room when I had come back from a run. Jenna was at some historical foundation event and dragged Jeremy out of the house. I was alone, and with that realization I felt my body shake with panic. The safe haven that my bedroom once was turned into my greatest nightmare when I saw him sitting in my window seat twisting a bullet in between his fingers.

" NO! I don't want I die, please! MASON PLEASE!" I beg. He had been shouting at me for minutes, kicking me and slapping me, the more I fought him, the worse the blows became. I pictured the cruel smile on his face as he holds the revolver to my temple. The cool metal makes me cringe and I tightly shut my eyes. I apologize to Jeremy and Jenna, for another one of their family members dying. I apologize to my parents because I had failed them as a daughter and I pray to see them soon. I deeply inhaled and savored my last head before something snapped in my head. If in going to die it's going to be on my terms not his. That's where I draw my depleted strength from as I open my eyes and stand up from the heap I am on the floor.

"SIT DOWN ELENA" He yells as he towers over me and his eyes blaze with fury. The same eyes I imagined our children having at one time.

My feet stay firmly planted as I stay standing. "NO, MASON YOU CAN'T KEEP HURTING ME LIKE THIS. IM NOT YOURS TO HURT! I AM NOT YOURS AT ALL!" I shriek at him as tears flow freely down my face.

His angered face smooth's indifferently as he groans and removes the gun from my head. He paces about my room tapping the gun on his own temple. The place that was comfort to me was looking way too much like my death bed.

"You love me." He decides and advances on me again. "Tell me you love me Elena!"

He says as he once again places the gun on my head.

"Say it Elena or I'll paint the walls with your brains!" he roars as he slaps a vase of flowers off of my desk and it shatters at my feet. I flinch slightly but stare at him defiantly. He can kill me but he will never change me.

"No. Go to hell."

I watch his eyes burn as he pushes me back from where I am standing. He opens the chamber and fingers the three bullets inside. He closes it and points straight at my heart. I watch his finger push down and feel the harsh bite of the bullet into the left side of my chest. My body folds over on its self and I drop to my knees. I put my hand over my wound and push, hoping it would prevent me from too much blood loss. The pain is completely unbearable and my vision is dotted with black specks. He pulls the trigger again and I don't feel any pain. I look down and another crimson patch spreads under my white shirt around my stomach area.

I'll see you there Elena" he says as he puts the gun in his mouth and pulls the trigger.

A deafening screaming sound rings through the silence of the night.

"Elena! Elena!" A voice calls out. A pair of hands are grasping my shoulders and I try I shake them off. My breaths are struggled just like they were that night. "Shhh. Elena its Damon. It's okay. You're okay. You were just dreaming." He coos. Sheer panic and terror, there was no other way to describe the feelings.

My eyes shoot open as my body continues to shake violently, the entire room is dark and the small amount of moonlight that shines through the curtain is just enough to make out his figure.

"Damon?" I choke out, my voice thick with tears.

"Shhhh yea I'm here." I hear a faint click and my bedside lamp turns on. His face is illuminated by the light of my lamp as he kneels beside me with a worried expression on his face. I cover my mouth with one of my hands to conceal my sobs. His eyes hold nothing but sympathy and concern; his brows are crinkled up as he assesses me.

"You're okay." He says soothingly. I sit up and jump into his arms tucking my head into his chest. Almost as if he is expecting it, his arms open. His hands gently rub my back as he mutters reassurances and quiets me. "I've got you. Don't worry." He says as he cradles me in his arms.

"Sit down Elena." He says as he guides me back to my bed, my feet leave the cold floor as I sink back into eh abyss that is my mattress.

"Are you okay?" I nod yes. As I cover my face with my blanket. He sits down beside me and slowly pulls back the cover from my face.

"Don't give me that tough girl shit Elena. Are you okay?" he says sternly, but his eyes reflect sadness. Why is he upset? Probably because I woke him up with all my screaming and crying, I was such a mess. I couldn't stand to bring anyone else into it. But he looked so genuine, I couldn't stand lying.

"No. No I'm not." Silent tears stream down my face. His arm reaches for the lamp and clicks it off, surrounding us in darkness.

"No." I say as I grab his hand as the light goes off, as if the darkness would swallow me whole.

"It's okay Elena just relax. I took deep breaths and recited the facts I knew about myself_. I am Elena Gilbert. I lived. I intend to keep on living. _I feel the void next to me sink down with weight and the covers thrown over me. He slid in next to me and threw the covers over his own legs. I turned and faced him, his blue eyes shined by the light of the moon and I was mesmerized. His hand found mine under the sheets and enclosed it in his reassuringly. A small sob escaped my mouth, I tried my best to hold them back but my emotions had other plans for me.

"Hey. Don't stop on my account. Let it out. It's just me Elena." He said. The emotional damn broke and I cried, and cried. His hand left mine and I instantly missed the warmth and the feeling. Only as his hands returned, they both pulled my forward until I was pressed against his chest and encircled in his arms in a protective cove. I wept into his shirt as he ran his fingers through my hair and traced small circles on my back. After a half hour or so, my tear ducts ran dry and I was left with no emotion other than embarrassment.

"Damon I..." I croaked. My voice cracking slightly.

"Don't Elena. If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be. Get some rest." He mumbled against my hair which brought an unconscious smile to my face. I don't care if he was lying that he wanted to be here, it felt good to not be alone.

"Damon?" I said sleepily.

"Hmm?"

"Don't leave me."

I felt myself drifting off to sleep.

"I'll ..." He started but I was long asleep before he finished.

_**DAMON :**_

"I'll never leave you Elena." I whispered barely audible to even myself. It had been a little more than a week since we have gotten back from Milan and the realization I made there is proving more and truer. Every day I find myself staring at her in awe, wondering how such a perfect person could have been created. Seeing her like this crushed me, I was just as torn up as she was. I can't believe that I hadn't noticed it before, hiw late at night I'll pass her room and the light will be on but she is sleeping. I never made the connection to the problems she had so vaguely described and her sometimes odd behavior. But the one name stuck in my head, she has said it before but tonight she screamed it as if it was a death sentence. Mason.

I commit the name to memory and decide tomorrow I will get some answers. But it was hard to focus on anything as she was cuddled against me, calm and sighing contently. Her body heat melted me like I had been Jack from the Titanic. Okay, bad analogy. Rose was a drama queen, there was room on that raft for both of them, selfish bitch. She flips in her sleep and god damn it I spoon her. I spoon her like a pint of fucking Ben and Jerry's because that's the man I am now. That's the man I am around her. I drift off into a peaceful and happy sleep, lying in bed with my greatest comfort, Elena.

I groan as the sunlight shines in between the narrow gap between the curtains and lands directly on my eyes. I move to throw my arm over my eyes but it doesn't budge. I slowly turn my face and smile at the sight in front of me. Elena's head is resting on my chest with one hand on my stomach. The other is wrapped around my wrist. My back is flat on the bed but my legs are intertwined with hers like ropes. I smile contently at her proximity and close my eyes trying to soak every moment of this up and store it to my memory.


	20. Heart of Darkness

**Thanks so much for the support and reviews guys! I'm like a kid on Christmas morning when check my email and see you guys reviewed! I hope you like the chapter! I'm sorry, this chapter is kinda dark. P.s how do you like these daily updates? (I'm spoiling you)**

Heat. My body was burning. I felt like I was sleeping on a space heater or something. I roll over and try to find a cool spot on the sheets. Something is constricting me and I pull at it, thinking I have twisted the sheets around my waist. But these aren't sheets, they're moving. My eyes snap open and I look down to see a pair of arms around me. I feel panic in the pit of my stomach and roll the opposite way trying to get away from whoever was next to me. I successfully twist out of their grasp and try to put as much distance between me and whoever is beside me.

I roll off of the bed and hit the floor with a thump. The sheets above rustle and the bed squeaks as someone's weight shifts. I quickly look around for any object to use as a weapon to defend myself with when a sleepy but amused looking Damon hangs his head over the side of the bed.

"Smooth." He smiles groggily. Memories of my last night rush back into my head, how good he was with me, him staying with me, he must have feel asleep. I blush as I think about his arms wrapped around my waist. Why did I have to be so stupid? I could have layed there comfortably with him.

"Sorry I'm not used to having strange men in my bed when I wake up." I say as I huff and stand up from the floor. I grab a hair tie from the top of my night table and tie my hair up in a ponytail.

"You didn't have to stay you know." I said trying to play it off like no big deal but I was warmed at the tenderness he showed me last night, I was practically giddy from it.

"You asked me to. You ask, I come. I'm easy like that." He says and raises his eyes. I chuckle at him and sit back down on my bed. He rolls back from the edge and sits up. His hair is flopping in his face and he looks absolutely adorable. I threw myself back on the bed with my back to the mattress. I stared at the ceiling above me and wondered if the sheets smelled like him.

"Just so you know, I'm extremely embarrassed. I'm almost 22 and I still have nightmares like I'm 10. I'm a mess." I say apologetically. I am down right ashamed of myself actually.

"You are a mess." He agrees. "I only do things I want to do Elena. If I didn't want to help, I wouldn't have." He replies earnestly. I turn to look at him where he had joined me back in my bed, his blue eyes gazing at me under a thick fringe of dark lashes.

"Elena?" he asked.

"Hmmm?"

"Can I ask you what happened last night?" he cautiously asked. I remind myself to take deep breaths and to try to act as normal as possible. I sat in silence for what must have been minutes before I figured out what to say. He deserved to know the truth, it would make it easier for both of us, if he knew I was broken goods it would be easier to stay away from what I want, him.

"Nightmare's. I get them almost every night. I can't even remember the last time I've gotten full night's sleep without waking up."

"What about? You don't have to answer this if you don't want to Elena."

"It's okay, I need to. I was in a relationship with this guy, his name was Mason." I gulped as I said his name in discomfort. "It was great in the beginning; I was so in love with him. I thought that he would be it for me; I would have thrown in the towel right then for him, I would have gladly called it quits and have settled down with him. He seemed like the perfect man, but I guess first impressions aren't accurate. You would know that more than anyone."

I smile but then continue. "But he started acting really controlling and one day he snapped on me. He hit me, kicked me and beat me up when I was home alone one night. I called the police and filed a restraining order, but that didn't keep him away for long. He posted bail and came back to my house no more than a month later; I went up to my room after a run and found him sitting there. He…. Uhhh… hurt me again and here I am." I concluded, he didn't need to know the gory details. My hands shook as I twined my fingers in the clean white sheets.

His perfect mouth is set in a deep frown, worry lines stand prominently out on his forehead, and I so desperately want to smooth them with my hand. "I would have killed the bastard." His voice was firm, intense.

_I did. _I think and take a deep breath to calm myself. My hands fidget about nervously.

"I practically pulled the trigger myself. I may not have held the gun, but I drove him to do it." I whisper out as the guilt weighs heavy on my shoulders.

"He's dead." It wasn't a question. His eyes burned into mine and I couldn't find the word. Yes. All I had to say was yes. One little word that I couldn't get out. I nodded my head and hung it in pure mortification that my life is so broken with no hope of repair.

"He didn't hurt you?" this was a question. I looked up at him and brushed the hair from my forehead exposing the long scar on my hairline. He tenitavly reached his hand forward and brushed his fingertips over the scar, I closed my eyes from the pain. Not that it hurt, it was just scar tissue. The pain came from the memory and that like my life, he will always be a scar on my happiness and otherwise unblemished skin, a constant reminder. A physical cue.

"He all but ripped me to pieces." I kneel on the mattress and lift my shirt up enough to allow the two wounds to show themselves, I didn't want to say this part out loud. His eyes widened as they took in the blemishes on my skin.

"May I?" he asks. I nod and his hand goes to my stomach, goose bumps follow his fingers as he touches the puckered skin of the scars. His hands move up to my rib cage just below the bottom of my sports bra and I squeeze my eyes shut in anticipation of the pain, but the only thing I can concentrate on is his skin on mine. When I open my eyes he shifts closer to me before placing a hand behind my head and resting it on my hair. He gently pulls me forward until my head is resting on his shoulder. I pull back with slightly watery eyes and give him a sad smile. I hated Mason almost more than anyone else on this earth, but I hated myself more.

"Don't do that Elena." He says and I look up in confusion, can he read minds or something? "Don't do that whole self-loathing, broody thing. I've been down that road before and believe me it gets you nowhere. Actually it gets you drunk and really upset." Was it really that easy to read me? He was describing me like an open book right now.

"It's hard not to hate myself when I look at the person I have become. I'm weak; I've let him affect me so much. Even when he is dead he has more power over me than anyone else. I dream about it, the slightest smell or sound sets me off. I can't watch TV, or listen to the radio; everything violent reminds me of that night." I say hollowly. When he doesn't speak, I continue. "I'm like a broken mirror Damon. There are hundreds of tiny insignificant pieces that fit together to carry out its function. When that mirror breaks, those individual pieces add up. No matter how hard you try, if you try to put that mirror back together there will always be something missing. Those pieces take away a little something from the whole of it. And those shards; they are continually holding me back from living the life I had imagined as a little girl, the life my parents would have wanted me to live. They are the shards of who I used to be Damon. I'll never be fully right or functioning again, no matter the time spent or who tries. I abandoned my friends and family and pity myself instead of dealing with my problems. " I finish; my voice is as empty as I feel.

"You've been through hell Elena, you deserve so much more than to be so fearful. But what you don't realize is that you give him the power over you. You are choosing to live under his terms, this is your life. Live it. That's the life your parents, your friends, your family and I want you to live. You're right, a piece will always be missing, but there may be something or someone out there that will fill it for you one day. And I want that for you." He said passionately. I was stunned by his speech, he was right. I was scared. I was so god damn scared of someone hurting me again I had become a social recluse.

"But I deserve it Damon. Every mistake I've made in my life came down to this." Karma. What goes around comes around, and I got mine.

**Damon POV**

Was it possible to be in shock from something like this? Because I think I was. And suddenly everything fit together, her insecurity, her episodes of crying and finally the fainting that happened when she first arrived here. I hadn't thought anything of Stefan playing his gun game with the realistic sound effects then but now I understood. Any reminder or memory triggered an emotional break. She had never confronted what had happened head on it seemed, that's why she was suffering like this.

"You don't deserve anything that has come your way Elena. You are just so…." I was at a loss for words, so I settled with my fourth grade favorite. "Good. The strongest people are the ones given the greatest challenges. I admit it. You put on a good act. It had me fooled Elena, but you can only pretend it's real for so long before it catches up with you."

Since we were both spilling secrets I figured she would want to understand my father's tumultuous relationship with me.

"I made the same mistake. My mother died when giving birth to Stefan of some rare complication. One in a million chance, Stefan was fine but my mother was weak. My father was away on business and missed Stefan's birth. I held her hand as I watched her die; she cradled Stefan in one arm and held my hand in the other. She was so beautiful, so sweet and caring. She brought the best out of my father. When he returned home, my mother had already died. He resented me so much, for a while he wouldn't even look at me. It was a few years before I even realized why, but one night he drunkenly confessed it. I was her spitting image and I was the last one to see her, my father begrudged the hell out of me for it. I was just a kid, I never fixed our relationship. He hasn't said much more than a few words to me unless they were necessary since. But he will yell and reprimand me."

I say sensitively.

"Damon I'm so sorry." She said as tears welled up in her eyes, undoubtedly feeling pain for my father, Stefan and myself. Was there anyone she didn't feel pain for? If the girl felt like this when she was sad I wondered how she must love. Recklessly and all-consuming I'm guessing.

"It's alright. It was a long time ago. And you have me beat in the story department. I don't have any cool scars to show off." She snorted as she ran her fingers through her hair, which was falling in layers around her face.

"Elena was that the first time you have said it out loud to someone?" I ask quietly, I didn't want to push her too far; she was so trusting and fragile.

"Yes." She replies quietly.

My heart squeezed painfully at the contorted expression she wore on her beautiful face. She deserved so much more. If that bastard was still alive I would rip out his heart and feed it to him. How could someone so compassionate and kind, who had faith in all of humanity, be treated with such disrespect by the scum of the earth?

"Why are you telling me?" I mirror her solemn tone. Out of all the people she could confide in, she chose me. Chalk it up to curiosity but I wanted to know why, why not saint Stefan or Caroline? Why did she choose me?

"Because I trust you. It has nothing to do with the fact that you see right through me and always know the right thing to say." She said and a slight smile appeared on her lips. She trusted me, well trust worked both ways and of course I trusted her.

"I never know the right thing to say Elena; I just seem to say what I'm thinking around you." I say as I raise my hand and swipe a chunk of loose hair from her face and tuck it behind her ear, she stiffens at first before relaxing into my touch.

"Hey lets go downstairs. I'm starving." She nods in agreement and we walk downstairs.

Breakfast passes normally with not even a hint of awkwardness. She seemed genuinely happy; maybe she just needed to get it off of her chest. But I was still curious, the questions I wanted to ask most were too hard for her to answer, I didn't want to put her through that pain. So when she went out to run errands I went upstairs and sat in front of my computer. I typed _Mason, Elena Gilbert, Mystic Falls_ into the search bar and clicked on the first link that came up. It was an article from a newspaper called the Fall's Recorder.

Just yesterday neighbors of the Gilbert family were outside enjoying the weather when gunshots were fired in the home next store. They promptly called the police who arrived on scene only minutes later. Mystic Fall's resident and teenager Elena Gilbert was found on scene suffering two gunshot wounds to the stomach as well as the chest. Her ex-boyfriend Mason Lockwood was also found on scene, he however succumbed to his injuries after he made an attempt of homicide-suicide,successfully ending his own life. Gilbert had previously filed for a restraining order against former boyfriend Lockwood after a domestic abuse dispute. He stayed in jail no more than twenty four hours before posting bail. The murder weapon was found on scene and lab tests confirmed Lockwood's prints as well as blood, Gilbert's were not found on the murder weapon. Inside the young woman's room was a gruesome scene, Gilbert appeared to have put up a fight. Broken glass and blood littered the floor around Lockwood's body. Gilbert was airlifted to Richmond Hospital where she is currently recovering from surgery; surgeons have refused to comment on the extent of her injury however her family has released this information to us. The first bullet narrowly escaped piercing a lung and was lodged between two ribs, cracking them severely. Gilbert's other ailments include bruised bones, 2 broken ribs as well as a broken wrist. She is in stable condition and is on the mend, as citizens of Mystic Fall's, please keep the Gilbert family in your thoughts.

I sat completely stunned and scrolled down the page further. There were pictures further down depicting the crime scene. A seemingly innocent looking bedroom was completely massacred, large streaks and pools of blood littered the floor. I can only imagine the pain she went through. I feel sick to my stomach knowing the whole story now, I need to do something for her and fast. I open up a new email and scroll through my contacts; sure enough I find the strange name I am looking for. Alaric Saltzman. I close out of the disturbing images that would probably haunt me in my own dreams and walk around my room spot cleaning. A few minutes later there is a ping in my mailbox.

_Damon,_

_How very generous of you. Elena would absolutely love that. Send he my best, the contact information is as follows._

_Bonnie Bennet: _

_Phone: 1-341-305-6479_

_Email: BonnieBennet _

_Good Luck, she's a sharp one. Cover your tracks well, she will throw a hissy fit if she finds out._

_Alaric Saltzman_

**I wrote this chapter in a half hour today during my lunch period and hated it. I ended sitting back down at home and bringing it in a completely different direction, including bringing in a completely different story line than I anticipated. We already know the story from Elena's POV but now we see it through Damon's analyizations, where you can really see the extent of Mason's depravity. But don't worry, now that it's all aired out, better things will be coming. This is the last of the dark stuff for this story. **


	21. Sparks

**Please excuse the poor writing and editing, I'm feeling pretty shitty today and I just wasn't feeling as into it as usual, sorry. Welcome to the good stuff folks. Thank you for reviewing and reading! ( p.s- I'm taking the weekend off of updates, considering I have posted an update 6 out of the 7 days of this week… New update probably by Monday night.) You guys are the best! Let me know your thoughts below! Thanks!**

**Emily**

"So pretty much, you climb up the ladder shake a few branches, let the olives fall into the net and move Ono a new branch. When we are done with the first few trees in the row, we will gather the net and empty it into the barrels." Stefan said as he climbed up the ladder carefully. He methodically shook a tree limb and I watched as the green olives fell from the trees onto the mesh netting below. I squinted into the sun as I watched him.

"Isn't there a better way to do that? Something more effective maybe?" I asked as I watched him struggle moving around the tree. The olives rained down on the heavy mesh that had taken hours to roll out down the orchard.

"Most people use machines and poles but my father is… Traditional." Stefan replies. I scoff at the thought of Giuseppe using a machine, or taking the easy way out on anything.

"Okay, easy enough." I said as I walked to the next tree over. I climb the ladder quickly and follow Stefan's directions. They come off relatively easy and I dutifully work. An olive hits me hard in the forehead and I look up questioningly at the tree. After a quick investigation I see no animal or anything that could have knocked it down. I continue working and I get hit again, this time in the side of the head. A cackle comes from the tree next to me and I carefully turn on the ladder. Damon is sitting in the tree to my left with a handful of olives in his hand.

"What are we twelve?" I ask him. He shrugs his shoulders and draws back his arm and throws another, I catch it in my hand and toss it to the mesh underneath me and ignore him. A continued barrage of olive's come from his tree as I work methodically and productively finishing the tree and moving on to the one on the opposite side of his. I pick up the ladder carefully and haul it to the next tree. Another hits me on the back of the neck and I set the ladder down. I coolly walk over to his tree where he is sitting on a high up branch, smile at him and pick up his ladder and put it on the floor.

"Hey now kitten. Put it back up." He says as he looks down on me. I smile smugly; I finally have the upper hand on him.

"Stefan!" I yell and his head pops back from a tree.

"Yea?" he asks.

"Damon's in time out don't put the ladder back up." I yell back. He grins playfully and nods. I walk back to my own ladder and climb it again, shaking out the tree limbs as I go. Within the hour I manage to get through about six trees. The worker's the Salvatore's hired are quicker than us but we still get to contribute. After an hour of reflection I decide to show mercy and let Damon down.

The day went by quickly like this, the three of us in comfortable conversation and Damon continually screwing with me or Stefan. He was a little more flirtatious than usual and seemed to be doubling innuendo, making me blush even more than usual. He was in rare form but he was happy and it was entertaining so I enjoyed it. The two of us ate lunch on the hill while Stefan ran back to the house to get food. At about four we turned in, and judging by the obnoxious British accent echoing up the stairs from the kitchen, Klaus was over. I worked to make myself as scarce as possible and ended up calling Bonnie and Jenna for a chat. Eventually, the noise from downstairs dies down and I know I'm in the clear. The loose floorboard outside of my door creaks and I know someone is coming inside.

I look up as my door swings open and Damon is before me, wearing black cargo shorts and a black pull over sweatshirt. His eyes glow against the dark color. I send the email I'm currently writing to Rick and close the monitor and push it aside.

"Busy?" He asks, closing the door and walking in.

"Well yea, kinda."

"I don't care. Let's go riding." he says with a smirk. I roll my eyes at him.

"Well since you have given me so many choices and have taken my opinion into consideration then of course. Whatever you say massa." I say hopping off the bed. I skip to my closet and grab a pair of running shoes.

"Whatever I want?" he raises his eyebrows and I gently shove him.

"Get your mind out of the gutter Salvatore." I say as we walk down the stairs and into the yard side by side. My sneakers crunch on the stone's as the sun lowers in the sky. It's getting cooler and I suddenly find myself a little cold, I was still in my workout clothes from before, I should have changed. I run my hands up my goose bump covered arms in attempt to warm them with friction.

"So why are we riding?" I asked as I turned to look at Damon who was currently removing his sweatshirt.

"Because I'm bored. Also, because you aren't the worst company in the world Elena. Here take this." He says and hands me his sweatshirt. That was really…sweet.

I gasped as he handed it to me and playfully smiled. "Damon Salvatore chivalrous? Alert the media!" I said as I put it on over my head. His residual body heat set warmed my body and his scent was thick on the fabric. I inhaled deeply and snuggled into it deeply. It smelled amazing, like Bourbon and wood, with hints of vanilla. It was so Damon.

"Thank you." I said with a smile instantly warming up.

"You're just lucky I like you." He said as he squinted his eyes and pointed a finger at me. We both chuckled and entered the barn. It smelled like the horses could use some new hay but I loved that smell, brought me back to my childhood. I kicked some straw on the floor away and walked until I was in the center of the barn.

"Want me to tie the saddle for you or do you want to make a fool of yourself again?" I asked with a smirk as he grabbed two saddles, he returned my smirk and carried one to the stall with the black horse. He threw it on to his back and let me properly adjust everything. He followed suit with the light brown horse that I said I liked the first time I saw it. He caught a lot of little things, things I said I liked in passing, he remembered. I get to watch his muscles ripple under his thin tee-shirt as he pushes the gate open as I mount my horse. I trot in a small circle waiting for him to join me.

"I was bored. Klaus was out somewhere too." He said as he rolled his eyes. " I was bored out of my mind and it was either cook something even though I wasn't hungry or annoy you. So here I am. You don't have a body like this and throw it away on bored eating." He said as he pointed to himself. I laughed at him, the cockiness I had once found appalling I found almost endearing now. It made him him, it was part of the deal. We gently trot to the orchard and stop on the hill overlooking the fields. The sun has stained the sky in pinks and oranges, and the fauna of their property looked even greener in this light. I turned to Damon who seemed to be admiring the same view as me, the lighting was perfect. I don't think I have ever seen him look more beautiful. I inhaled once more from the neck of his shirt and let all my senses drown in the sights in front of me and his smell. I was suddenly reminded of a time Mason and I sat on the pier of my lake house watching the sunset. We had discussed our future plans together, naming our possible children and even talking about what season wedding we would have.

I scoffed, drawing Damon's attention. He looked questioningly at me. "This reminded me of something." I said, not going into much detail, he seemed to get the message.

"Him huh?" he said.

"Yea."

"I have to ask, Elena. When was the last time you have went on a date or gone out with someone?" he asked. Nobody.

"I haven't. I'm just starting to feel safe again, like I don't have to look over my shoulder every five seconds." I said as we turned slowly and trotted alongside one another on the way back to the house.

"Do you want to get back out there again?" he asked innocently. I shrugged; I didn't think love was in the cards for me.

"I don't think that's very realistic. I don't want to drag anyone into my disaster area that is my emotional wellbeing. Something's just don't matter to me like they did before. Like when I was a cheerleader in high school." I stopped when he smirked. " I know. Trust me I know. When my parents died something's I just didn't care about anymore." I chuckle as I say. I was getting better at this, talking it out. I was actually letting things out instead of exploding because I hold everything back. I was convinced it was because Damon was such a good listener, he gave input at the right times and never judged me. We dismounted our horses and returned them to the stall.

"Something's could matter again" he said.

"Sorry?" I asked not following him.

"Something's could matter again. People change. What I'm trying to say is don't close yourself off from the idea." I didn't miss the irony of his statement considering he probably changed the most out of everyone I know.

"How do you know that?"

"I don't. Keep an open mind, you are still young Elena." That was a stupid question, he wasn't "all knowing".

"What you need is someone to make it matter again. The men around here seem... More than willing." He replies playfully nudging my arm.

"Oh yea. Who?" I asked.

"You want the laundry list? Elijah, Klaus, Stefan, Finn.. Then there is every man you walk by in public. You're a humble person Elena but there is no way you can be that blind to see the effect you have on men. Even a seasoned veteran like me isn't immune to it." He said and my cheeks burned furiously.

"I don't know if Klaus will give me another chance, too bad I really felt a connection. Guess I'll never find muster right." I laughed, making fun of myself and making fun of all those winey girls.

"Maybe you aren't looking in the right places. Who knows? You might be nearsighted or something. You know what? I actually know the perfect guy." He replies as his eyes smolder.

I grab the wooden banister and put my arm around it and slowly circle waiting for an answer that doesn't come. On my last rotation I swing into Damon, who is standing in my way. I slam into his hard chest and I steady myself against him.

"Damon" I whine as I slam into him. He gently grasps my wrists and I balance myself better.

My arms slip from the pole and come to rest on his arms. His blue eyes appraise my face and then lock onto mine. His gaze flickers to my mouth and then back up again. I feel his breath on my face and his strong arms under my grip. His hands run up my back, one rests on the small as the other raises up to brush my face. I'm frozen in his gaze. Returning the searing eye contact that was electrically charging the air between us. He slowly moves towards me to let his intentions be known, he looked so vulnerable. His blue eyes were so clear I saw my own hesitance in them, he was hesitating too. But it was for me, not him.

"Me." He says quietly and I'm stunned.

_TURN AWAY_! My mind tells me, but I don't want to. I want this. Nobody can stop me from taking this, not even Mason. The past is the past, Damon has shown me that. It was time to move forward, and I couldn't think of a better person to do that with than Damon. The feel of his lips have been a mystery I've been waiting to be discover since day one, and I was going to take advantage of the situation. His perfect lips part and his eyes close gently as he leaned closer to me. _Fuck it. _ I think as I close my eyes and close the distance between us. His warm, soft, lips gently molded around mine and I contently sighed at the contact. I pulled back quickly.

"No no no. Damon I can't do this." I said as I put my hands on the hard planes of his chest and pushed back. His eyes blazed with fire and those lips that were just on mine twisted downward.

"You can Elena. Do what you want to do. It's your life." He said gently as he turned away from me, and I snapped. I grabbed his arm and pushed him against the banister. My hands griped in his hair like I've wanted to for months. His hands rested on my waist as he waited for me to make a move. And as our lips touched again, he lit the fuse. And the inevitability set in, it didn't matter if I tried to stop it or what he did. Since the day I had met Damon Salvatore he had been a tinderbox. Every laugh, smile, compliment, every selfless act had pooled together into a volatile object. I would fall in love with Damon Salvatore. It was only a matter of time before the fuse blew out and my whole world would catch fire.

**DAMON POV:**

And I knew in that moment when she swung into me and I stared into her big brown eyes, that she had done the impossible. I was in love with Elena Gilbert. I hang my head slightly and try to process the rush of emotion that sweeps through my body. The feeling is so alien but so sweet, so god damn sweet. I am overwhelmed by how much I am in love with her and do nothing but stare. Everything about her is different. It was like someone lifted a veil from her face, what was perfection before was now utterly breathtaking. She tosses a section of chestnut hair over her small shoulders. The lighting brightens her face through the open door. The light shines on her hair and throws a rainbow of colors. My hands run down her body at her own accord. I lean in and let my eyes close. My lips touch hers in a gentle touch. I gently put as much love into one kiss as possible, before I feel nothing at all. I open my eyes and know exactly what's happening.

"No no no. Damon I can't do this." She says as she rests her hands on my pecks, and pushes back. She sounds like she's trying to convince herself.

Her puffy lips twist as she looks deep in thought, over thinking everything. This is too much for me, Elena is flooding my senses and she hasn't even looked at me yet. I feel still the buzz of her mouth on mine, the burn of her hands on my bare skin. Over flash, over stimulation, she was just too much for me. She's like a trap set from god to pull me out of the dark, her smile makes me weak, her touch makes me forget my purpose and even with just a look I'm decimated into a love struck fool. I believe everyone has a purpose in life, loving Elena with every cell, and nerve of my body is mine. Her eyes flicker up to mine and I watch the existential crisis play out in her expressions.

"You can Elena. Do what you want to do. It's your life." Before she says anything that will bring me pain, I hear myself speak. I started to turn away from her when I felt her hands on me again. And because I would do anything for her, I turned back around. Her hands twined behind my neck and ran through my hair. She pushed me against the harsh wood of the banister but soothed it with her gentle touches. Her mouth moved back to mine, but it was different this time. I held nothing back, Carpe Diem. I pulled her body against me flush and wrap my arms around her back. She opens her mouth and I push my tongue into her mouth. A soft moan escapes from the back of her throat as she claws at my neck and runs her fingernails against my scalp, making me shake with pleasure. Her breaths are getting heavy and I decide to take my mouth elsewhere and I move down her neck, the smell of her is intoxicating and adds to the heady mixture in front of me. She gasps as I suck lightly at her pulse point and she drags my face back up to hers. We part for a moment to catch our breaths and just stare at one another.

"I've wanted to do that since the first time I saw you." My voice is husky as I watch her reaction. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes sparkle, her hair is mussed up from my fingers running through the silken strands, she looks stunning. Even her already plump lips are swollen, I did that. She smiles slightly and then it grows.

Her smile stretches up to her eyes which I get lost in. As I look into them, I see everything I want and nothing I deserve. I see the calm chaos that is loving her. I see the endless time that will be too short when she's by my side. I feel every contradicting emotion, battling for the upper hand. But most of all I see something that I want until my lungs wheeze out their last breath, until my heart gives out from the magnitude of loving her. I want her forever, anyway I can get her. If she needs a friend I'll be the best god damn friend in the world, because I love her enough to sit by her side like a dog because I'm like a drug addict. The withdrawals cause me nothing but pain, and like my drug, she takes me to nirvana, she makes my blood flow, stimulates my every nerve and makes my heart work on overdrive. And much like a junkie, I would do anything to get her. I should start going to AA or something.

Her tanned arms wrap around my neck as she smiles at me fondly.

"Me too." She says smirking. I think my insides catch fire. And right now I can't get close enough to her; I pull her body flush against mine and softly take her lips between my own. I gently sigh at the contact and think of how I'm turning more and more into the person I hate the most. I'm becoming Nicholas Sparks and I'm loving every second of it.

She was like the sun, I could only look at her for so long before it became painful, almost unbearable. Because I knew, I would never have all of her. And she was the sun in my world in a sense, I depended on her. When her fire burnt out, I was cold. When her light was taken away from me I went back to my dark ways.


	22. Power couple

**I APOLOGIZE. 2 PAPER'S DUE IN ONE WEEK= ME STRESSED AS FUCK. Trust me I would rather be writing about Damon and Elena but nope I have to write about Hitler, so obviously fun stuff. I have two weeks of school left, so after that expect updates often. I'm getting surgery this week so don't expect an update this week, sorry guys but I'm going to be all drugged up and I'm sure the chapter's would be practically illiterate. I hope everyone is doing well! Once again I'm sorry for the delayed update, thanks for reading and reviewing you guys are the best!**

**Emily**

… … …**..**

"What now?" The phrase hung in the air once we pulled back from one another and blatantly stared.

"I don't know." I knew what was coming; she would do that whole self-loathing and "this is a mistake" phase. I could read her beautiful face like a book. I watched the turmoil swirl in her warm brown eyes.

"Damon. We... I...can't I can't drag you into everything. It's not right." She said as she shook her head, she sounded like she was trying to convince herself. She wanted this; she wouldn't have kissed me again if she didn't want it.

My hand reached out and brushed the soft skin of her cheek, it was still flushed from our kiss. I cupped her face and felt the smooth skin under my fingertips. Her eyes were wide and fathomless; she leant ever so gently into my hand. She needed reassurance, she needed strength, and she needed someone to love her. If it was up to me, I wouldn't leave her side.

"What if I said I wanted to be dragged into it? It's right Elena." I said passionately, letting on the ridiculous love I feel for her.

"Damon you are a part of my host family. Giuseppe..." I interrupt her. I roll my eyes, I expected an excuse but this one was weak, I was feeling an easy victory in the near future.

"Loves you. You walk on water in his eyes. You don't have to promise anything, let's see where this takes us. All I'm asking for is a chance." I said hopefully as I grabbed both of her hands in mine and squeezed. She was overwhelmingly beautiful as she smiled shyly; I thought my insides were unraveling.

She nervously ran a hand through her hair. Her breathing became rapid and her body shakes slightly. "Damon I don't think I have it in me anymore."

"Give it a chance. I would never do anything to hurt you, you know that right? Don't give him this power over you. It's your life."

"I know, I trust you and I want this Damon, I do."

"Then you have nothing to worry about." I say with a smile. Her face relaxes and a slight smile grows on her lips.

"Okay. I'll try. No promises." She said quietly. I feel a smile twitch at my lips and I full out beam at her.

"I'll do whatever you need me to do Elena. You set the rules; we're doing it your way. I'm not doing anything until ypu ask for it, no pressure." I said carefully, not wanting to push her. She looks up at me with guilt ridden eyes and nods slightly.

If you need me to comfort you I will, if you need me to back off I will." I tell her sincerely.

Her lips pull together on thought, "Thank you Damon." She says as she smiles at me.

"No problem." I said, swiping a section of silken hair behind her ear.

"Not just for this Damon. For everything. I don't know what I would do sometimes without you here." She said earnestly. My heart burn's at her words, a wave of warmth floods through me.

"Thank you for being so understanding. But right now, I need you to kiss me." She whispers. I smile as I watch her cheeks burn crimson.

"With pleasure Ms. Gilbert." I say as I close the distance I had put between us ensuring I didn't jump on her again. My hands cupped the soft skin of her face as my lips gently pressed against hers; I ran my tongue along the rim of her bottom lip tasting her. Her hands rose up and twined behind my neck as she played with the short pieces of hair on my hairline. She tasted of vanilla and lavender which was a heady combination. Her plump lips parted and I took advantage, I slid my younger into her mouth and stroked hers gently. She opened her mouth wider and gave it right back to me. The kiss became more passionate, I nibbled slightly on her full bottom lip playfully and he giggled. I loved the sound of her giggle. I opened my eyes to see her rating right back into mine, alight with humor and warmth. I ran my thumb across her smooth cheek before grabbing her hand in mine. Her stomach rumbled loudly and we both chuckled.

"Come on, let me cook you dinner." I said, she looks up at me questioning my but doesn't say anything. I guess handholding isn't off limits. Her small hand fits perfectly into mine, and the whole thing feels natural, like it is supposed to be there, like its right.

We enter the warm kitchen and I shiver from the temperature change. Elena perches in her usual spot in the kitchen as I move around the

kitchen. I take out the eggs, flour, salt and pepper.

"I hope you like Ravioli. Because we don't have anything special in the fridge." I say as I dust the countertop with flour.

"Mmmm. Sounds good Salvatore. Can I help?" she asked as she tied her long brown hair up into a pony tail. I thought through and decided an easy task was better than nothing.

"Sure. Grab a pot and fill it three quarters with water and put it on the stove." I say as my hands mix the eggs and flour creating firm dough for the pasta. I knead and pull at it until it's the perfect consistency and cut it into rectangles.

"You can go get comfortable if you want, I have to run to the garden and grab some stuff." I say as I watch her bend down to get the pot from the cabinet. She looks up at me with a smirk.

"Enjoying the show jackass? I thought you were cooking for me?" she says before closing the cabinet. I smirked and grabbed Stefan's sweatshirt off of the chair before going back outside into the night. It was a short walk to the garden, the cool air helped clear my head and everything had finally sunk in. I was with Elena. I kissed her, she kissed me back. The woman I love chose me. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much and I'm sure I look like a dumbass with a creepy grin on my face picking tomatoes. My lips still sting from the feeling of her on me. I grab a bunch of basil, a few eggplants and rosemary. As I walk out towards the gate, a small bush catches my eyes. A Cherry Tomato bush, I smirk as I pick a few and put them in a basket. I practically jog back to the house so I could see her again. I open the backdoor and remind myself to light a fire, it's kinda chilly tonight. The bar stool is empty, she must still be upstairs. I check the water; it's still not boiling so I return to my task. I take the fresh mozzarella I made the day before out of the cheese cloth and place it on my cutting board. I hear the padding of small feet and Elena is back. She's dressed in her small flannel sleeping shorts and a tank top, her face is clean of makeup and her hair is in a huge bun on top of her head. It didn't matter, she was still stunning.

"Sorry, this is how I sleep." She says looking uncomfortable, she fiddled with her fingers.

"Yea because the first thing I was going to say was how horrible you look. Elena you always look stunning." I say as I roll my eyes. I pick up the cherry tomatoes and place them in front of her.

"I thought you would like a quick snack. A gift, NOT stealing." I smirk. A small smirk graces her lips as she recollects our first meeting.

"Sorry, they didn't have rules in America. My bad." She mimics poorly earning a genuinely laugh from me. Ahh first impressions, they are always right. My first impression of Elena was beautiful, fiery, and I knew I had to have her. She got riled up really quick and was extremely responsive, even to a look or small comment, her face would blush or she would throw insults right back at me. I folded a slice of tomato, basil and mozzarella inside each pasta and folded it over before tossing it inside the pot of now boiling water.

"First impression. Go." I said. If her reaction to me was any way indicative of it, she wouldn't disappoint.

"Hmm. First glance, extremely sexy." She said as she strolled around the island and clasped her hands around my neck. I did that eye thing I know she secretly loves and smirked at her. She was totally fanning my ego big time. She rolls her eyes and I put my hands on her hips before pulling her flush against me.

"Everyone thinks god rested on the seventh day but he was too busy whipping up this fine specimen of a man." I point down to my body and spin her around.

"Easy buddy this room isn't big enough for your ego to fit in. You were hot, but then you spoke." She giggled. "I don't know how I managed not to punch you. I thought you were a worker here or something until I saw you at dinner and I almost jumped you. I don't know how I didn't rip out your vocal chords but I'm glad I didn't." She says as she reaches up on her tippy toes and kisses the corner of my mouth and pulls back. But I wasn't having any of that, I had just gotten her and I wanted a real kiss god damn it. I pulled her up on the counter and settled in between her legs. My hands rested on her sides as she braced herself against the countertop.

"I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. And I wanted nothing more than to make you mine." I whisper against her lips before closing the slight distance and crushing my lips to hers with passion. A light mewl comes from her throat at the contact and I feel her finger nails run through my hair and gently scratch my scalp. I can't get close enough to her, her legs wrap around my hips and she opens her mouth. My tongue runs against hers, my body responds instantaneously. She tastes like vanilla and it's just so Elena. I twist her head and kiss her deeper as my fingers knot into her hair. Her hands move to my chest and she pulls at my thin shirt, her hands move to the hem and under it. She runs her hands along my abs as we both gasp for breath. I move to her neck and nibble at her sensitive flesh with blunt teeth. There could be World War three going on outside and I wouldn't notice, my mind went blank when she touched me the only thing I cared about was her skin on mine. So when the pot of water boiled over, I didn't notice and frankly I didn't give a flying fuck. Even when the scalding water went on my hand I just relocated it to her ass. She gasped and pulled back though, sufficiently freeing me from her hold.

"Damon!" She gasps, her brown eyes black with lust. Her puffy lips are larger than usual, swollen. From me. That brings me a lot of satisfaction.

"What?" I whine as my hands slip from her side.

"Dinner!" She says smiling. I groan again before turning to the stove top and flicking off the gas as the water overflows.

"I don't give a shit. Now where were we?" I said as I cupped her face and kissed her again. Her small hands pushed against my chest. She was smiling as she shook her head.

"No. No. One I won't be able to stop if that happens again and two I'm hungry."

"Well nobody's home, we don't have to stop."

"Damon. Please, let's just eat. You cooked already, let's just eat." She said, it was final. We would just eat. Dinner was delicious as usual, and Elena was just as tasty. After we had cleaned up I lit a fire in the massive fireplace that we rarely used and layed down a big blanket.

She shivered as she layed down on the cold stone hearth and I pulled her against my side as I watched the colors of the flame's change and their shape shift. Everything with her felt so natural. The way she was tucked into my side, the way my arms were wrapped around her, her body was like it was made for mine, it molded to all of my contours softly. She was more than anything I could ask for and deserve, she was perfection. I was spooning, usually I would be laughing at the sheer stupidity of it but it was such an intimate feeling. It wasn't sex by any means but it showed mutual trust. Before I knew it, I was drifting off to an Elena induced sleep, surrounded by warmth and happy feelings that I didn't deserve, but was enjoying the hell out of.

… . DE ….. DE ….

_**E.P.O.V:**_

I was lying face down on some kind of cold hard surface, it was a familiar feeling, but I couldn't place the texture. All of the lights were of, not even the faintest light could be seen wherever I was. I rolled over onto my back and there was a buzzing sound. Large overhead lights flicked on one by one, I had to squint my eyes from how bright it was. I went to my feet as I took in my surroundings, I was in a room of mirrors. The ceilings, walls and even floors were all made of mirror. I watched my own confused face as I looked down at the floor before looking around the room for an exit. But the mirrors were solid and there was no door. Then there was a break in the silence, a booming voice shook the room.

"YOU DID THIS!"

I spun in a circle trying to place the sound but I was alone. I walk up to one of the walls and hear the click of my shoes against the flooring. I press against the reflective glass hoping it will give when I see it. _MURDERER. _The word is written on every inch of the mirror covered room. It drips in a crimson stream when I realize what it is. It's blood. I scream. I scream bloody murder and curl into a ball on the floor as the waves of blood rush in on me.

"Elena!" My body is being shaken. "Elena! Hey! Elena!" I open my eyes and it's Damon. Oh thank god he's here.

"Damon." I whispered relieved. My hands clutch to his arms tightly as he pulls me into his chest. Our fire has almost died out and it supply's only a dim light in the otherwise dark room.

"You're safe. You're fine Elena." He cooed in my ear. He gently rocked me back and forth in his arms and I tucked my head under his chin, I focused on matching my breaths to his slow and calm ones as his chest rose and fell. After a few minutes of silence he stood up and scooped my knees out from under me. He was being more than anything I could have asked for to me. He was gentle and kind but he was still cocky and sarcastic, I couldn't decide which part of him I loved more. _Love? _I think and shake the thought from my head, I'm not ready to delve into that just yet.

"What?" I protested and tries to squirm out of his grasp. He only rolled his eyes and tightened his grasp on me and carried me up the stairs.

"You are staying in my room tonight missy. Save's me a trip in case you need your knight in shining armor again." He says proudly as he struts down the hallway. If I've learned anything about Damon, it's pick your battles. He's going to do what he wants regardless so save your fight for a good one.

"Fine. But don't try any shit with me Salvatore." I snap. He chuckles before setting me down outside the door to my room.

"I thought you said your room?" I asked confused. He walks across the hallway to the door directly opposite mine and opens it.

"I did." He said as he walked through the entrance. I had no idea he was only across the hallway.

"I didn't know you were across the way." I said as she continued to walk around, absorbing my surroundings. There were no personal items lying around, but then again I didn't expect any. Damon wasn't a very sentimental person. The color scheme was on par with how he dressed black and white, and occasionally a few brown furnishings. Everything was very neat and clean, I was sensing a little OCD.

"Not what you were expecting?" he asked as he pulled a pair of pants out of a drawer and pulled off his tee-shirt. My mouth dried at the sight of him shirtless, mighty fine.

"I was thinking more along the lines of a brothel but this works too." I replied smirking and earned a chuckle. I walked over to his massive bed and flopped on it. I would be lying if I didn't expect silk sheets or leather pillow cases; instead I was greeted by some cotton sheets with ridiculously high thread count.

"We can fix that I you want" he said as he smoldered his eyes at me. _Yes, let's fix that_ I thought, but I couldn't. I wasn't ready for that. I roll my eyes at him, his hands move down to his belt buckle and I find myself watching.

"If you wanted to see me naked Elena all you had to do is ask." he said knowingly, I broke out into a furious blush and let myself imagine what he would look like in all his naked glory. Fantastic I'm sure, I'd already seen and felt his chest, if that was any indication he would look damn fine naked. I flipped over in his bead face down into a pillow to give him his privacy and instead enjoyed his smell enveloping me. It was on everything, his sheets his pillows and soon enough I felt a depression alongside of me. He had put on only a pair of sweat pants, they hung dangerously low on his narrow hips exposing the v that his hips made. I wanted to run my fingers along his oh so happy trail but decided against it, instead I rolled into his side and gave him a conservative peck, shocked by my own dirty thoughts.

"Thank you. You're the best." I yawned and pulled the sheets up around my shoulders before settling into his side. One of his arms wrapped around my waist, the other stoked my hair.

"No problem. Sleep well 'Lena." He said and I felt myself drift into a happy, warm and uninterrupted sleep.


	23. The wrath of Caroline

**Hellllo unexpected chapter! This wasn't planned and it kind just…happened. I was going to save it for midweek but self-control isn't really my thing and I wanted to brighten everyone's Monday because I freaking hate Monday's. ANY WHO. I hope you guys like it! As always thanks for reading and reviewing, drop me a review with your thoughts.**

**Emily**

…**.. ….. ….**

My mind drifted to this morning, lazily kissing Damon when I woke up in his bed. Warm in his arms, our limbs tangled together. My lips pulled into a smile at their own accord, I was still stuck in the bliss of it all, he was just so good with me. He read me like a book; he knew when he had to back off and when I needed him to step off. And don't even get me started with his touch. I forgot anything before him; all I could focus on are his beautiful blue eyes, the tenderness in his face and the scorching trail his fingers and mouth left behind. I could tell that my constant internal conflict would be knowing when to stop. I was so close to taking his shirt off last night, so close to going too far. Again this morning, my hands played with the drawstrings on his low pants like they had a mind of their own. I couldn't do that right now, for the sake of my self-preservation. It was difficult though, we just get so caught up in one another that it seems natural to just shed all of our clothes and get down to business.

"Elena." A voice calls out and I'm shook out of my reverie. "Earth to Elena." He said chuckling.

"Oh sorry Stefan. What do you need again?"

"I need the basket." He smiles.

"Oh right, I think I put the basket by the first tree." I pointed to the tree that Damon was currently climbing down.

"I'm going to get food from the house so we can eat out here." Stefan said and ran off like a good scout. Damon came sauntering over to my tree and I looked down on him. He smirked before dropping to his knees at the base of the tree.

"But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks?" He says dramatically, throwing himself at the trunk of the tree. I giggle at him before climbing down the ladder and pulling him by the collar to me. Stefan was already a safe distance away so I didn't hesitate in pulling him to me and taking his lips between mine gently. He reciprocates with a gentle and warm close mouth kiss. I feel his lips pull into a smile as they leave mine; he pulls back only slightly before looking into my eyes with the full force of his blazing.

"What if her eyes were there, they in her head? The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars, It is the east, and Juliet is the sun." he whispered against my lips before pecking me again. I giggled as I pulled back to look at him.

"Fluent in Italian, English and Shakespearean? Consider me impressed Mr. Salvatore." He never ceased to amaze me, he was so unpredictable. Who knew the self-proclaimed "emotional idiot" was paying attention to the love saturated writings of Shakespeare?

"Did they not teach you that in Mystic Falls?" He asked smiling, his fingers ran through my hair and I was like a cat, I was literally purring. I shrugged.

"They did, I just read the right side with the new English translation. " He chuckled before pulling me into his arms and shifting his weight from foot to foot and slowly spinning us. We settled down under a shaded tree and despite what we wanted, pried our bodies from one another unwillingly and sat in our own personal space.

"I think we should just tell everyone." He said as his fingers left mine.

"Yea you also think the best way to do that would broadcast it on the radio, so your judgment is flawed and not to be trusted." I said as Stefan approached, teetering with the weight of the things he was carrying. He plopped a large blanket in front of us which Damon and I made short work of smoothing down under the tree. He pulled out a few PB and J's he made and a few beer bottles. Damon was obviously the chef in the family, but Stefan put in a lot effort. Damon popped the top to one and handed it to me, Stefan and Damon followed suit and we clinked bottles.

"Hey Steffie where's dad today." Damon asked as he layed down on his back.

"Business. That's all he said, something about buying more land." Stefan shrugged.

"Isn't that always the excuse? I think…" he trailed off and pulled a ringing phone from his pocket.

"Klaus what's up?" He said into the phone, his eyes darted to mine and a smirk pulled at my mouth. "Really hand delivered? Wait….What's that sound?... Who's with you? You gotta be shitting me." His eyes widened as his smirk grew wider. "She's gonna kick your ass man. Yea but come right over, we are at the orchard." He hung up and started chuckling.

"What?" Stefan asked and Damon only replied with a laugh.

"Hey." I shoved his shoulder. "What's so funny? You've never been secretive don't start now." I say as I shove his shoulder slightly.

"I'm just the messenger; don't slap me for it or anything. Caroline and Klaus are…..together. They are coming over to hand deliver the annual ball invitations, aka a load of horse shit served on a silver platter." He says still chuckling. What?

"Wait together together?" Stefan's interest piqued. Poor Stef, it was obvious he was head over heels for Caroline.

"Hold on a second. What?" I asked stunned. Caroline was usually more than forthcoming about information, she reveled in other people knowing everything about her. Why wouldn't she tell me?

"I'm assuming so…" he trailed off. I wasn't mad, I just wished Caroline would have told me after all that stuff I told her she kinda just sat there, if I wasn't so angry I would have been able to read her reaction better. Shit! Now I felt like a really bad friend. Not even ten minutes later three figures were walking over the hill towards us. Two of them were joined by the hand while it looked like Elijah was rolling as third wheel.

"Hey guys!" Caroline beamed as her hand clasped tightly around Klaus's. He looked up at her… lovingly. It was a change from his usually cocky smile. He looked almost stunned as she smiled and I blushed, Damon looked at me like that sometimes.

"Hey!" I called out; Damon smirked at me before I stood up and walked towards the three of them.

"Elena it's a pleasure to see you again." Elijah said politely, I have never heard him curse or use slang; everything was so prim and proper.

"Good to see you too Elijah, Klaus. Caroline." I glared at her as I said her name last. I wasn't one to hold grudges, Klaus was forgiven as far as I was concerned, and there was no awkwardness which I was thankful for.

Her smiling face shifted to a submissive line and her pretty blue eyes widened. She offered me a small smile before sitting down on the grass next to us. The three of them got comfortable and we moved over leaving a wide space on the blanket we had stretched out on the grass.

"So what's up guys?" I asked as everyone settled down.

"Nothing really. We just wanted to hand deliver a few invitations, mother insisted again on throwing her outrageous party." Klaus said as he rolled his eyes and wrapped his arm around Caroline's waist. Klaus used his free hand to pull out two envelopes from his pocket and handed one to both Stefan and Damon. They opened them before each letting out a huff.

"Would it be acceptable to get shit faced for this? It's not like anyone would notice, everyone's too busy talking about fine art and wine." Damon said as he groaned and layed down, his back on the floor, I chuckled at both expressions on the Salvatore brother's faces, Stefan looked like he ate something sour and Damon looked as if he would hurl himself from the closest tree.

"And one for Elena of course." Elijah said politely. He cleared his throat and I smile up at him. "Elena I was wondering if you would mind accompanying me to the ball?" he asked nervously. My eyes widened and I struggled to meet his gaze. I wracked my brain for possible excuses but came up with nothing, my mouth started moving but I had no idea where I was going with this one. Damon would skin Elijah if I said yes, he was probably going to castrate him even if I said no.

"Thank you Elijah but…" I trailed off not knowing where to go from here. Damon cleared his throat and I felt his am snake around my waist as he dragged me to him. I blushed furiously, he was staking his claim.

"Sorry mate, she's already spoken for." Damon said as he runs his fingers along my waist. I hang my head to avoid the faces of the people around us. Screw secrets I guess. I look up from under my lashes, Damon is wearing a self-satisfied ever present smirk that I can't decide if I want to kiss or slap off of his face. Stefan just looked between the two of us over and over before shrugging his shoulders and downing the rest of his beer. He smiled approvingly back at me, making me feel a lot better. At least Stefan approved. Elijah's face was white and Caroline looks pretty much like I did when I saw her with Klaus, shocked with a touch of betrayed. Only Caroline was anything but subtle, so I guess I should have expected what she did next.

She stood up and grabbed my hand, prying me from Damon's side. "Come on Elena, it appears we have some SERIOUS catching up to do." She squeals loudly and stamps her foot. I couldn't help the smirk I threw Damon's way as she dragged me off, he waved and smirked right back at me.

"Good luck." I hear called out and a laugh between the guys behind us. She drags me all the way to the top of the hill before turning around on me and squealing.

"What the hell Elena? Why didn't you tell me something was going on between you guys?" she asks. She was angry, but unrightfully so. She did the same thing to me I did to her.

"I'm sorry I should have told you. It only happened this weekend Caroline!" I said and put my hands up defensively.

"It is fine Elena; I just wished you would have let me know you liked him!" She said annoyed.

"Well you are one to talk! Remember Caroline, you did the same thing to me so don't get mad." I said calmly and watched confusion flit across her face.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asks calmly.

"Oh you know exactly what I'm talking about. You sat there while I trashed Klaus and you didn't even tell me you liked him! Let alone you were together with him! Now I feel guilty because you look like you really like him and friends should support their friend's choice and now I feel like a bad person…" I ramble on. I did feel guilty I was talking about how much I hate him when she obviously liked him.

"Elena it's fine! I swear! I didn't like him until recently; he's a douche a little sometimes. It's okay." She giggled and I breathed a sigh of relief. I just didn't want to say anything because it was new and I was worried about it not lasting." She said casually.

"When did this happen?" I asked as I sit on top of the grassy hill and watched the boys below us.

"When we got back from fashion week, he called me and asked me to come over. His mom wanted me to help design for the party so I did. P.S I picked a freaking gorgeous color scheme and you better love it. She wasn't home yet so we kinda just talked. He asked me out to dinner and we kinda just started dating. I really like him Elena. He might act like a douche around other people, but when we are just one on one he is…. Just great. He's great Elena." She beamed and I found myself smiling for her. It was great to see her so blissed out.

"I'm happy for you Caroline. I really am, and no grudge against Klaus but I'll kick his ass if he hurts you. You're pretty much my best friend and I'll gladly poke his eye out with my stiletto." She squeals and throws her arms around me hugging me to her.

"Yay! Now, the same goes for you. Tell me what the hell happened between you and Damon NOW." She said excitedly, Caroline loved gossip and she loved match making even more. I shrugged as I tried to find sufficient words without trying to give everything away; I was still a relatively private person. But my smile gave me away; even just thinking about him lit my face up.

"I don't know. He is always just so flirty and there is no denying he is hot. Lately, the attraction has just become more. As much of a dick he is sometimes, I've grown to like it. He's different with me. He's caring and selfless, he's anything I could ask for." I finish and watch him at the base of the hill with a smile. "He's done things for me some of my closet friends and family at home would ignore. He's just good for me I guess."

"I'm glad you finally saw it Elena, he's completely smitten with you. I've seen it for a while. I'm glad you finally found your way to one another. He needs a little good to balance him out and you need a little fun. He's good for you. How has he put himself out to you? Have you slept with him yet?" She asked with a grin.

"No!" I shout at her and she giggles. I push her shoulder slightly, she giggles before we both stand up.

"Let's be more honest with one another. From now on." Caroline concluded. I bit my bottom lip, maybe it was time for her to know.

"Sounds good Care. But if we are starting now, you should probably sit down." She looked at me questioningly before sitting back at my side.

"There is something you should know about me, who I was before I came here." I launched into the full story, not leaving the grisly details out. I found it easier every time to talk about it. Whenever I felt my resolve wavering and the panic closing in one me I remembered Damon's sweet words, his arms wrapped around me protectively and I calmed down. Caroline listened; her face changed from shock to sadness everyone and a while. And once I had finished she jumped on me and hugged me tightly.

"You're so strong Elena. You deserve happiness. I can't believe Damon was so good with you." She said as she stared at me, her big blue eyes wide. I shrugged playing it off, even though I was giddy inside. I take a few calming breaths and I impress myself with my ability to keep it together, I felt like every day I was here I was getting over my past bit by bit.

….. . …. ….

_**CAROLINE POV:**_

I honestly couldn't believe what I had heard, Elena had a tough life. I wanted to cry for her, she was so sweet and good she deserved a kick ass man and it appeared she had one. But I needed to keep it together for her sake! I would cry when I got home over a carton of Ben and Jerry's and a bubble bath until I calmed down. That's why the poor girl was always practically falling asleep in the middle of the day and mainlining caffeine on the daily. I would be lying if I didn't say I was surprised with Damon, but I kinda saw it coming. I was still ecstatic they were together; my matchmaking skills are still unparalleled. I'm sure she had enough with the doom and gloom conversation and wanted to just forget, and let me tell you. I am the master of making people forget.

"So I assume you are going to the ball with Damon." I said with a smile. Her face lit up unconsciously at the mention of his name and she shrugged.

"He hasn't asked me, I just found out about it today but after the testosterone rush down there I think so." She giggled. The party was only two nights before the super-secret birthday party Damon was currently planning for Elena. I'm probably the worst secret keeper ever so I quickly say something so I don't tell her.

"Do you know what you are going to wear?" Elena always had the best style, she was a fashion natural. An idea popped into my head and I beamed at her. I would kill two birds with one stone. I would make Elena a beautiful ass dress for her birthday present.

"I'll scrounge something up." I wave my hand to dismiss it. "But I don't want you to get anything okay? Consider it a birthday present, I'm making you a dress!" I said excitedly, I was giddy with the idea of a new project. Plus I could use the measurements for my line, the dress needed to be beautiful. I began visually sketching a dress in my head. _Strapless, hugging curves until the bottom. I would have a train come out behind it._ _Red? crimson? YES! _I thought.

"Caroline I can't let you do that. And how did you know my birthday is coming up?" She asked suspiciously. Uh oh, I needed a cover up story.

"Your confidential employers file, where else? I'm making it for you either way, if you don't accept it I will fire you and write a shitty recommendation." I threatened. She sighed and I know I won; Elena's too easy like that sometimes she's always trying to please everyone.

"Fine. But don't you dare go overboard. Only because you threated my job." She said as she stood up. We walked down the grassy hill and my freaking deathtrap espadrilles almost cracked my ankles in half. Quick tip, don't wear heels while climbing up and down hills. The guys were layed out on the blanket laughing except they seemed to be down by two, it looked like Elijah and Stefan had left. I don't blame Elijah, with Damon's wrath and that embarrassment, I would have hightailed it the fuck out of there. I smiled slightly at Klaus before my eyes roamed across to where Elena was walking over to Damon. His eyes tracked her every movement, like he was committing her every expression and hair on her head to memory. A genuine smile flashed across his lips, I gaped at him. Damon Salvatore doesn't do genuine. Well I guess he does when it comes to Elena. His eyes were filled with some emotion, love? Yea love, he looked at her like she could do no wrong, like she was a prophet on earth, like he was in love with her. I rolled into Klaus' side and tucked my head under his chin, I felt like I was intruding on their little love fest. I wiggled against him and he chuckled.

"Don't worry love I'll get you in bed in no time." He whispered against my ear. I shivered with pleasure at the promise. I don't know what it is about English guys but they are ALWAYS good in bed. Klaus is like a fucking wolf or something and my inner porn star loves it. But seriously, I don't know what the English teach them in boarding school but it is damn fine. Like when I went to Cancun during high school for spring break I slept with a hot British guy named George and once again, better than any American boy.

"Let's go now." I whispered back, not wanting to draw any attention to our sex talk. He immediately stood up and brushed his pants off.

"Alright Mate it was good seeing you. We better get going." He said quickly before turning on his heel.

"I'll see you tomorrow Elena!" I said and smiled at the two of them before practically running to the car with Klaus. He'd be lucky if we even got to the car at this rate.


	24. Daddy Issues

**Surprise! I actually wrote a chapter! GASP I KNOW. And wait… its actually legible. Sorry it's been a pretty rough week for me so please forgive me; I'm currently laying in my bed sitting in some weird ass machine writing this. I'll update way more often now that I can function without painkillers. Thanks for reading and reviewing as always, your kind words warm the ventricles of my heart, you guys are the best and thanks for sticking with me! So here's a nice LONG chapter for all of you lovelies for being so patient!**

***PS. If we can get to 200 chapter's I'll write you my FAVORITE chapter I've had in my head for a while sooner rather than later***

"Lift." She said through teeth clenched on a long piece of white fabric. I rolled my eyes, ready to protest. She had insisted on making me a dress which makes no sense to me, she's taking way too much time on me. I can just go buy a gown or something.

"Caroline can we just skip this?" I asked as I raised my arms. "OH! I have an idea! How about I buy a dress?" I ask. She places her pencil in her hair right above her bun before she glares at me.

"I'm making you a dress regardless. You can choose to accept it graciously and wear it or you can break my heart and not wear it, I'll probably become depressed and it will be your fault. You are going to wear it with no complaints or so help me god, I will tailor your little ass off Elena Gilbert." She said with narrowed eyes. If I didn't know Caroline as well as I did I would have feared for my life when she looked at me like that.

"Caroline…" I whine as her hands grip my sides and spin me around. A sharp slap hits my thigh, "Ow!" I exclaim. Caroline selfsatisfiedly smirks as she places the ruler back on the table.

"Friends don't abuse friends!" I giggled out as she sharply spun me.

"OH don't even get me started. Friends accept gifts from their friend's willingly. Get a grip Elena. Now I only need one more measurement and then you are done forever and you can go back to getting my label bought!" She said as she squatted and measured my hips and then my calves. She jotted notes down on her sketch pad and got to work on the sketch.

I took that as an invitation to get back to work. I picked up the phone and quickly confirmed a meeting with a boutique down the street to sample some items, it was looking like I would be getting Caroline her first sale. I left a message on the machine and felt my lips pull into a smile at the success.

"Uh Caroline?" I asked, not wanting to disturb her.

"Yea?" she asked through closed lips that were holding pins.

" Nothing really. We have a meeting with Femme Boutique next week; they left a message saying they are EXTREMLY interested in the line." I replied nonchalantly.

"WHATT?" she screamed. "Oh my god!" she bounded off of her stool and ran over to me. She threw her arms around me giggling and I couldn't help but to join her, her happiness was viral.

"Oh my god Elena you are amazing!" She has a big smile on her face and she's jumping around in her sky high heels pretty well.

"It was all your design Caroline. They're amazing."

"They are aren't they?" she giggles before running back to her work table and clapping her hands like a small child. She started rolling out a sheet of white gauze which looks like it's going to be a lining of something. I busy myself in everything else I need to get done, and when my responsibilities are depleted I take lunch. I haphazardly scroll through email until I see one from Rick.

_**Elena,**_

_**I hope all is going well in Italy and you are learning a lot as well as having some fun! I would just like to ask you if you would mind speaking at graduation as the representative for the foreign language studies. Both Professor Flemming and I agreed you would be the best suited, if you don't want to then we both understand and can make other plans. Let me know. Graduation is in a little over two months so I want to make sure you are prepared; we miss you on campus Elena. Have a fantastic birthday and I look forward to hearing from you!**_

_**Rick **_

"Shit." I said out loud. "Shit. Fuck. Oh shit." I felt my palms start to sweat. I shook them out and took a few deep breaths. I hated public speaking, and I don't mean I didn't like it, I HATED it. I would get nervous and sweat really heavy and just forget my entire topic. In high school I was in a debate and got so nervous I forgot which side I was arguing for and ended up winning it for the other side because I forgot my topic. So yea, not exactly a strong point of mine to say the least.

"What's wrong Elena?" Caroline asked worried.

"My department head from Duke just emailed me. He wants me to speak at graduation. I think I'm having a panic attack." I said melodramatically. I wish Damon was here; he would make me focus on just him and would calm me down. Damon. I reread the email in front of me and confirmed my suspicions. I had graduation in two months, what would Damon and I do? I don't know if I was ready to leave him behind, he had pushed me so far, I feel like I'm finally me again. I don't know if my already fragile emotional state could take leaving another person behind, let alone someone I cared for. _Is falling for. _I think.I rest my head against my hands on my desk and take a few deep breaths. There's no doubt about it, I was falling for him. Everything about him drew me in and took me prisoner. I couldn't afford to let him pull me in any deeper; I was knee deep in shit to begin with. I couldn't drag him to hell with me. But everything in my body told me to, that this wasn't like the other times. This felt so right it scared me to death. It was too late though, it was inevitable. The second I let him kiss me and I kissed him back I was a goner. The only thing is I don't know if what's left of my heart will make it out unscathed.

"That's so cool Elena! You should be proud! You totally have to write a kick ass speech. Feel free to name drop me."

"Yea except for the fact that the only thing that fears me more than public speaking is commitment these days." I chuckled. I ran my fingers through my hair repeatedly trying to calm myself down to no avail.

"It's okay to ask for help sometimes. Why don't you ask Damon?" she asks. I roll my eyes just at the thought.

"Please. I would end up writing about his eyes and everything would just be innuendo." I huffed.

"True. You'll figure something out. How is that going anyway? You told me the basic's yesterday but give me the details sister! I thrive on this stuff!" She said as she pulled her mannequin closer to my desk and looked up at me.

"What do you want to know in particular?"

"How did it happen?"

I don't remember anything other than his lips on mine. This is going to sound so weird but when he kissed me the first time, my eyes were open. His face was so relaxed and sweet, I swear I had never seen something more stunning in my entire life. That feeling I got dwelled in my stomach even as I thought about the blissful expression he had. Right now all I wanted was to kiss him.

"We were in the barn and we were talking about my..issues. He told me I just needed someone to make things matter again and then he kissed me. I kissed him back. He was so understanding, he's letting me pace whatever we have going on here, he's more than anyone could ask for honestly." I found myself smiling just talking about him.

"Elena…" Caroline said tenitavly, Caroline doesn't do tenitive. "I think he's in love with you." She said quietly. I felt my brows scrunch together as my hands stopped moving and I looked up at her.

"I've noticed it for a while; he stares at you all the time, it's not just a stare it's a love stare Elena. He isn't a good person and then when he's with you he is almost likable." She said.

No. I would have seen it, I would have noticed it. There was no way he could be in love with me, I was so messed up, I had no redeeming qualities and nothing interesting about me. Honestly. I'm surprised he even thought I had enough allure to want to be more than friends. A man as beautiful, caring and funny as he is could do so much better, I honestly don't get why he picked me.

"Caroline, come on." I said, feeling more insecure than I have in months.

"It's true. Just wait and see it yourself." She said. My phone chose a great time to go off. I grabbed it from my bag, I had a text message from Damon.

*My car is dead, do you mind checking it out tonight? Since you obviously wear the pants in the relationship?*

Relationship. I smiled at the word, is that what we were in? A relationship? I put aside the thought for later and quickly typed a response.

* Sure, I'll see you in an hour.*

…. …. …...

I got home and groaned as I walked up the driveway in the ridiculous heels Caroline gave me. Quick tip, never wear new heels to work. I leant up against the car and pulled them off, breathing sigh of relief. It was hot today, and the black pavement burnt my naked feet.

"Hey! I'm going to get changed real quick and then I'll look at it!" I shout to Damon and Stefan who are washing the Camaro. They both give a wave and head nod. I couldn't stay on this driveway for much longer or I would have third degree burns on my feet. I quickly ran to the front door and swung it open, relishing in the feeling of my feet on the cool tiles and the gust of cold air. I set my purse down on the kitchen island and jogged up the stairs and threw on a pair of jean shorts and a tank top before pulling my hair up in a high pony and digging out some flip-flops. I bounded down the stairs and out back into the searing heat. When I arrived at the Camaro, Stefan had already gone inside and Damon was leaning against the side of the car looking lethally sexy. When I got to the car he smirked at me before putting both hands on my waist.

"Hey beautiful." He says flirtatiously as his fingers rub small circles on the strip of bare skin where my shirt rode up. His touch left scorching circles in my skin. My hands wound around his neck before I leant up on my tippy toes and planted a chaste kiss on his puffy lips.

"Hey yourself." I said as I pulled back smiling. "So what's going on with this thing?" I said gesturing to the car.

"It's not a thing Elena. She's just not acting right, she won't start." He said defensively.

"Have you tried turning it on?" I asked sarcastically. He rolled his eyes and I swung my legs over the side and into the driver's seat. I twist the keys already in the ignition and press the gas pedal, the engine doesn't even turn. I hop back out and walk to the front of the car and bend over the open hood trying to remember what Uncle John said about the cables. I ran my fingers along the wires and everything looked normal, suspicious.

"Hmmm." I muse. "Everything looks fine, it's not your battery, and all the cables are good. I'll check the bottom though." I say as I squat down on the hot pavement and scoot under it, only my legs being touched by the hot sun. There was no engine fluid dripping, no oil leaks, everything looked fine. Except for one thing, I remembered Uncle John telling me about a kill switch that would literally shut the car down if you pulled it out. And sure enough it was out; I push it in and slide out from under the car. Damon grabs my hand and pulls me up. I wipe my hands on my jean shorts and narrow my eyes at him. He's smirking back at me.

"It was your kill switch. But why do I feel like you know that already?' I asked. His smirk grows even wider.

"You ass!" I shout as I take my flip flop off of my foot and throw it at him. He easily ducks out of the way before cracking up.

"I couldn't pass up the opportunity to see you bent over my car in your little short shorts, that's like every guys fantasy." He said raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Luckily, I wasn't out of ammo so I took off my other flip flop and launched it at him, hitting his shoulder. He laughed which naturally made me laugh, I couldn't be mad at him for long.

"That's a compliment of the highest order Ms. Gilbert. I didn't think you were going to get it, you really do know your stuff." He said as he approached me wrapping his arms around me. I scoffed before twisting out of his grasp and shoving him out of my way laughing.

If be lying if I said I didn't away my hips a little for his satisfaction. He lets out a hiss behind me and I turn around to watch him. He eyes me curiosity before advancing slowly on me, he looks…hungry? His eyes are dark blue and blaze with a fire that makes me swallow hard in anticipation.

He moves forward until he is almost touching mine. And still I'm stunned by his eyes. They rake down my body hungrily and he gently pushes me backwards, the only contact is his hands on my shoulders. I'm practically shaking in anticipation, my knees hit something. I think it's the front bumper of the car. My back Hits the warm hood of his car as I gaze up at the beautiful man leaning over me. Ew. I was totally going to be that girl in like five seconds, the one making out with her boyfriend on the hood of the car.

But you know what, I'm not bothered by it, because this is Damon Salvatore. And with Damon it seemed like it was a necessary evil. My hands moved at their own accord and slid up to his face, along the stubble at his jaw line that was barely there. My fingers traced his lips before they slid down the back of his neck onto his shoulders. He was so close I could smell him, he smelled like camp fire, bourbon and sandalwood. He leaned over me putting his hand on either side of me and stayed motionless, letting me explore him.

My hands ran along the strong muscle of his shoulders and onto his arms that were planted on either side of my head, his eyes still burned and his mouth twitched in an amused smirk before he brushed a stray piece of hair behind my ear. His fingers left a trail of heat; it was a slow deep burn. I couldn't take the space between us; I clawed at his shirt and pulled him to me. I gasped at the contact and pressed my body to his, my back arching off the hood of the car pushing my chest into his.

He grinded his narrow hips into mine mercilessly and I feel his arousal against my stomach, he isn't even trying to hide it and it's so hot. _What the hell am I doing? _I think before shrugging it off when the sensation takes me over. He takes his lips between mine and the burn spreads through my body, running rampant lighting every nerve on fire.

I smile against his frantic lips and hook a leg behind his back, pulling him close to me. He shifts his weight and my comes in contact with the hot metal of the hood. His frame presses against mine like plaster, the weight of him does crazy things to my head, and I claw him ever closer.

I'm about to get really creaking cliché but I don't even care, he's likes a drug. I'm a junkie. I would do anything to have this feeling all the time, to have my heart beating this fast, every nerve on end stinging with sensation. The feeling of bliss pulsing trough my veins, affecting every one of my body systems. I was becoming dependent on him and I was scared. Soon his kisses wouldn't be enough him and he might not be good enough for me, I can't offer him more, not yet. I must have slowed as I thought things through because he pulls back and appraises me with his eyes; his lips were swollen from my kisses. From me. It gave me a weird sense of female satisfaction knowing that my body did that to him.

"Timeout." I said breathlessly putting my hands on his chest and putting a few inches between us, putting my hands on his solid chest and pushing back a bit.

"Worried you won't be able I stop and we'll have sex on my car?" He asked, his slightly pudgier than usual lips turn up in a salacious smirk.

I nod with a smile of my own on my lips. I pulled my fingers through his Unruly hair making it even messier like he just rolled out of bed.

"I'm not that fast Mr. Salvatore." I said as I pulled on his collar. Sounding way too much like a girl from grease, all I needed was a poodle skirt and I'd be Sandra freaking Dee.

"I guess I have to give you my varsity jacket so you know we are going steady huh?" He plays along as he pressed his chest back to mine and played with the ends of my hair that conveniently were situated in the cleavage of my shirt. I rolled my eyes but couldn't help the heat spreads wildly through my body.

"Please. You're going to have to work for it. I don't even know if those parts still work anymore." I said nervously, trying to make light of my uncertainty and the fact we were talking about sex right now.

He swoops down again before placing a chaste kiss on my lips wiping out the uncertainty when he smiled that adorable smile of his. Before pulling back and whispering against them.

"When I have you Elena, it won't be on a car. It will be when you are ready and I'm going to seduce you like you deserve to be seduced, and it's not going to be here where my family can hear you screams, I want those all for myself. "He said certain of his abilities. His little speech brought a fresh round of blushing and embarrassingly enough my body clinched in anticipation. He carefully withdrew from on top of me and grabbed my hand pulling me with him.

"You have we-almost-just-had-sex-in-public-on-my-car-with-my -amazingly-hot-boyfriendhair." He said cockily and ran his fingers through my hair gently pulling the knotted areas until they smoothed around his magic fingers.

"Is that what you are? My boyfriend?" I asked as I adjusted my clothes and smoothed my shirt which had ridden up. My fingers curled nervously and as soon as I said it I wanted to take it back, just to avoid the embarrassment.

"Trust me Elena, I'm a fan of going casual. But not with you, you're so much better than that. Will you go steady with me? I have no jacket on me now but I'm sure we can arrange something." He said. His voice wavered, he sounded kinda nervous too. And then it clicked, he had never done anything like this before.

I clasp my hand over my Mouth and try to suppress the laugh that threatens to come out. His face scrunched up and he sudden looks self-conscious which makes me laugh even more.

"Damon of course I'll be your girlfriend! I wasn't laughing at that, it's just obvious you've never done this before." I said gesturing between us. His face smoothed and he smiled slightly.

"You got me on all counts. Are you proud Elena? You took my relationship virginity."

"That's a pretty powerful feeling. I took your Virginity." I smiled at him mischievously.

"Not that virginity." He said as he raised his eyebrows.

"I took Damon's virginity! At 23 years old! His virginity is mine!" I yelled as a few workers walked back to their truck parked along the long drive way.

They smirked and laughed as I motioned to him. I chuckled as they whistled at him; I was full on laughing as I gauged his expression. He was completely amused and his fathomless eyes held some unnamed emotion as he watched me. He pulled me into his arms before crushing his lips back to mine. I laughed against his skin as another loud whoop and whistles were heard from the large group of workers who had migrated to their many trucks. He dipped me low and thrust his hand in the air as he kissed me again. He laughed against my lips and pulled back. I gasped in a breath as I smiled back up at him, his eyes were crinkled from his megawatt smile, and there was nothing better than when Damon was this playful and downright sweet. His hand slowly fell from the air and he pulled me back to my proper stance. We had satisfied pretty much every John Hughes movie within a few minutes, the convertible, the hand in the air. I can't help but to keep chuckling, however once the noises of cheering and laughing die down someone nearby clears their throat.

Damon turns around and I feel the slack on me loosen, I turn with him and look at a very curious Giuseppe Salvatore, who seemed to have witnessed our VERY public display of affection. Well shit. My cheeks could start a fire with how hot they were getting. This would be my luck; of course the man who was ALWAYS on business comes home to see me, the girl he is sponsoring that he didn't have to help and take into his house, kissing his son. And his son he isn't on the best of terms with all over his housemate. I feel nauseous; he could kick me out right now if he wanted to. His thin face showed no emotion, he unbuttoned his suit jacket.

"Damon." He nodded before turning his green eyes to me. "Elena may I have a word please?" he asks. Well fuck. I'm screwed.

**HAHHHAHAHAHAH OH SHIT OH SHIT! SHIT'S GOING DOWN! SORRY IT HAD TO HAPPEN! Just remember I did happen to give you Damon and Elena sex with clothes on this chapter so please be gentle with me! You guys are the best? What do you think Giuseppe is going to see after the little spectacle his son made? Will he approve? Drop me a review to make me happy! Thanks for reading guys!**


	25. The Many Shards of Giuseppe Salvatore

Hey guys! New chapter! This one is pretty interesting, at least I think it is but then again I wrote it… anyway. This is a peek into the very interesting and mysterious past of Giuseppe Salvatore. There is no Damon/Elena in this chapter, I know sorry. BUT I thought it was imperative we learn more about Giuseppe who has been pretty much absent for the entirety of the story with the exception of family dinner's occasionally. ANY WHO. Enjoy the chapter, and as always thanks for reading.

EMILY

*PS: CAN WE PLEASE TRY TO GET TO 200 REVIEWS? I PROMISE TO POST A VERY SPECIAL CHAPTER SOON IF WE CAN HIT THAT MILESTONE! YOU GUYS ARE AWSOME! THANKS FOR THE CONTINUED SUPPORT! ENJOY*

DAMON POV

Well fuck. There was honestly no worse time to ruin my day. But my father decided to grace us with his presence, successfully ruining my buoyant mood. I just kissed Elena, over and over again, and I was pretty freaking elated. You know why? Because I can kiss her whenever the hell I want to, because she's mine. I kinda feel like a dog pissing on her to mark my territory.

I shiver runs down my spine thinking about how she raked her finger nails across my shoulders and pulled me closer and closer. Nothing could depress my walking on sunshine mood, nothing but my lame excuse for a father. He is like a freaking Dementor, he sucks the happiness right out of everything and everyone. I didn't know what he was going to say to her, it was better if I waited to intervene. Her olive skin paled and she looked like she was going to pass out, she turns to me tenitavly. I smile slightly and try to hide my concern. Giuseppe Salvatore was not a man of many words, but when he spoke them it was for a purpose. He spoke for a reason, he was either going to verbally kick her ass or I don't even know what.

I nod my head and kiss her cheek before squeezing her hand one more time and looking at my father. His thin lips were pulled up into a smirk as he watched the interaction, the younger dumber me would have punched him, I considered it for a moment before remembering Elena t my side. I didn't want to do that in front of her. He turned on his heel without another word and began walking. Her brown eyes widened snapped from his figure to mine and conveyed all of her worry before turning and following my father in the house. I paced back and forth as I heard the heavy front door close. I ran my hand through my messy hair methodically as I paced back and forth for a few minutes. I couldn't take not knowing. I jogged to the front door and opened it cautiously; the house was silent confirming what I suspected. He must be in his office with her. My legs carried me to the door as I sank to the floor listening intently. I heard two voices speaking in conversational tones but I couldn't hear the words being exchanged. I sag defeated against the wall and slide down to a sitting position and hold my head between my hands. I couldn't lose her. And I sure as hell wouldn't let my father take her away from me.

ELENA POV:

"Please sit Elena." He said as he motioned to a chair opposite to his large mahogany desk.

The room was intimidating; it was huge and business like, very fitting for a man like him. I swallowed nervously as my fingers knotted in my lap. I took a few deep breaths trying to calm myself, running through all the possibilities. Worst case scenario, he would kick me out. Best case scenario, he would approve? I felt the need to explain myself, to justify my actions. I cleared my throat before looking back up at him. His large hands were tented in front of his mouth as he looked at me expectantly. I avert my gaze to the stacks of paperwork on his desk and the single picture frame. It's a shockingly beautiful woman with black hair and stunning blue eyes. It must be Damon's mother. I shake my head bringing my thoughts back to the present situation. And a sticky situation it was.

"Mr. Salvatore…" I stammered. "I'm completely mortified. I know an apology might not be enough nor any promise I can make you but, I am prepared to take the consequences for my actions as you see fit sir." I finished shakily and let out a breath I had been holding. He raised his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side in a familiar mannerism that reminded me of Damon. Even just the thought of him relaxed me slightly.

"There aren't going to be any consequences Elena. You can relax. I just want to chat with you. And I thought we were past these formalities, my name is Giuseppe." He said softly.

If I wasn't confused before I sure as hell was now. I looked at him suspiciously, if e wasn't going to yell at me what was he going to do? "Okay..." I say quietly.

"First off I apologize for my absence; I don't frequent my home which might strike you as odd." He says almost apologetically. It seemed like he almost avoided his own house, which I thought was unorthodox.

"If you don't mind me asking, why is that? I know you are very busy but we rarely see you around here." I asked quietly, silently praying I haven't over offended him. He smiles slightly and cocks his head.

"Family is an important thing Elena, it always has been. In my childhood, I would have done anything for my family; I still would if I was given the opportunity. Them not for me, not so much. But things change; I had a poor relationship with my parents as I grew up. I was the only child in my family and I was lonely. They were very traditional, my father had been raised in this same boarding house himself and followed in his drunken father's footsteps. Their traditions suffocated me, I couldn't deal with doing the same thing over and over. I lived a pale life, consisting of rising early, strenuous work and then nightly beatings from my father in a drunken haze. If I was lucky he would pass out on his chair before he could hit me. I wanted to break the mold, I started doing things in spite of my parents, I would deliberately disobey them. I had at one point even started letting the livestock out of the gates just so my father would either chase them or lose them. We had a bit of a power struggle to say the least and after the stunt I pulled; I was kicked out of my home."

My eyes stayed glued to him, the man of very few words had said more to me in two minutes then he had in the past almost four months. I listened carefully as he continued.

"I got a ridiculously low paying job and stayed in my family's barn. The very same barn outside. They didn't know and I kept that a secret for more than three months. I had always left before they got up to feed the livestock which was once my job, I felt guilt for leaving all the work and my father's wrath onto my mother but self-preservation won out. Survival of the fittest. Except for one morning, I overslept and my mother found me. She was a sweet woman, far too good for my father. She was caring but just didn't have the strength and voice that I needed for her to challenge my father. She brought me food and stoked the barn with blankets until I could afford a small apartment of my own. Things were falling into place for me, I had just turned seventeen and I was promoted, I was out celebrating with a friend of mine when I heard a sound. Someone laughing, I swear it was the most ridiculous laugh I have ever heard, the kind that made you laugh just listening to it. Sure enough my head snapped in the direction of the noise. And I saw a woman."

His face wrinkled as he smiled at the memory, his eyes creased with a smile and I couldn't help but to smile at him. The emotionless man was showing me a new side to him. He reminded me so much of Damon.

"She was and still is the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She had alabaster skin and a thick head of inky hair. But it was her eyes that made me desperate to know her, desperate to see adoration in them for someone like me. I just had to know her. I approached her and we became joined at the hip. I was instantly taken with Elizabeth. We only had eye for one another, and we married very young. I was too in love with Elizabeth to wait." He chuckled as he reminisced and reflected on his younger self. Even Giuseppe Salvatore had a weakness, a woman.

"By that time I had landed myself an actual job and I could afford to buy her a ring, it was a miracle considering my lack of education, I made a considerable amount of money and we lived comfortably. Before the wedding I snuck into the boarding house at night and went back to my old room, it was left in tatters, my dressers were knocked over and their contents spilled on the floor. Thankfully, I was quite tricky with my hiding places and I found the ring my mom had given me, it was from her mother's wedding. A simple vintage band that would be perfect for Liz. When I married Elizabeth my father severed all ties, he considered her to be a deformity in the perfect and supposedly superior Salvatore line. He was a drunk, and I didn't speak to him again before he died. My mother followed shortly after and a he died. And as the only child, I inherited the estate although the will, it was willed to me but was quite tentative." He chuckled.

"Elizabeth and I moved in right after the funeral. I actually attended for the bastard." He said bitterly.

"Shortly after Elizabeth was pregnant. Here we were two 20 year olds at the time, pregnant with our first child. Her parents had turned her away when she asked for help and my parents were unreachable, we were just kids. We were confused but mostly we were both thrilled. I wanted a chance to raise a child the right way. Unlike my abusive drunk of a father, I wanted a family that would stand by one another through thick and thin. But Elizabeth miscarried, we were both destroyed. She sunk into a bit of a depression. That was the darker part of my life, there is nothing worse than watching someone you love more than life it's self be in so much pain. Especially when it is out of your hands. I dragged her to doctors all over the place, eventually ending up in the U.S. and for the first time in months she was herself, the bubbly bright woman I fell for, the perfect counterpart to my busy body serious attitude. So we made the split decision to move to America. It was no doubt the right call; I saw how her demeanor changed every time she walked by the nursery upstairs, how her cheeks sunk in and her striking blue eyes filled with tears. When we were settling in in our new home in New York we got a call from the doctor. He told us Elizabeth had a serious condition and she wouldn't be able to carry any children, she was destroyed and was slipping right through my fingers, again. She was all I had, I couldn't lose her. And honestly I almost did, the only thing that brought her back from the edge was the pregnancy. My saving grace. She made it through the first trimester and it was looking great, she had defied all odds and was glowing. Secretly I envied the child; he was able to bring his mother back from the edge when I couldn't. It wasn't her love for me that kept her alive, it was the love she had for him."

"Damon." I finish, the pieces fitting together in my head. My heart broke as he nods his head yes before continuing.

"We both were enamored by him. He was a spitting image of his mother, his raven hair and pale skin with her bottomless blue eyes. He was our pride and joy; he was such a happy baby. So considerate and loving, he was just a toddler when we found out Liz was pregnant again. In hindsight I should have known it would be too much for her body to take, she had done well with Damon but with another baby on the way, she didn't seem to have the ease she did with Damon."

He runs his fingers brought his hair and huffs a little bit in frustration, he seemed caught up in the story.

"The doctors warned us about the damage it could take on her body but she insisted. She had a few minor complications, but they were easily fixed with medications and routine checkups. She was so excited, she was practically glowing. We both were. I couldn't imagine Liz not having a house full of children, and I wanted to give her that. I didn't think it was possible falling any more in love with her than I already was but when I watched her with Damon, she did me in. She had these natural maternal instincts and unwavering patience. She was just one of those women born to be a mother. She was only seven months pregnant when I received a call that she was in labor. But I was halfway around the world already, signing business papers in Italy while my wife gave birth to Stefan two months prematurely and took her last breath."

A quiet gasp escaped my lips and my eyes filled with tears at their own accord.

"There were complications that had gone unnoticed by the doctors; they afterwards told me that only one of them could survive. Either the mother or the child, Elizabeth had pushed herself so hard in labor, she ultimately made the decision. It was Stefan who lived. The last words she spoke were to Damon who was just so young; he needed his mother, and a new born baby who was just desperate for a warm body and care. I was a wreck, I drank myself into a stupor some nights and when they would cry I would sometimes just walk out. I couldn't deal with it; I fed them, cleaned them up and put them to bed systematically. But I made no effort to create a relationship; it was like they weren't even mine. I had lost myself, because I was nothing without her. I had been so far gone; I had contemplated suicide, something I'm not proud of at the slightest. And honestly the only thing that stopped me was our children. Specifically Damon, her blue eyes stared back at me through this small child who needed me. Sometimes I would look into his eyes and just pretend it was her. I would ignore Damon's cries for mommy, the poor child remembered her death and had nightmares for years, Stefan was more fortunate. Or less fortunate depending on how you look at it, he never knew her, he didn't know the unbearable pain of losing her and the void she left in both Damon and I." His green eyes were set somewhere in the distance, looking past me and were transfixed on some secret memories.

"And everyday as I helped my sons put on their clothes and fed them, I regained my composure but I never returned to who I was. I had nothing but these children and I'd be damned if I didn't raise them right, teach them that family is the most important thing. I picked them both up, took a few things from our home in New York and went back to Italy. Everywhere I went was saturated with memories of her. I could still smell her in our room, I could still hear her ridiculous laugh bouncing off the walls and filling the house with the noise I had grown to love so much. The worst part was waking up holding onto the sheets of where she was supposed to be. I obsessed over the good times and dreamt of her, wondering what her last words were. As Damon grew up he grew more alike her. He was energetic, sarcastic and just enjoyed life; his hair grew darker until it was just her shade. His skin and eyes were identical shades and it killed me to see her practically reincarnated. He looked after Stefan so well, he was so protective, it warmed me to see his mother's compassion had been instilled on him. But when Damon was about fifteen I grew bitter. I had known better to resent Stefan, he was but an innocent child but I was envious of Damon. He spoke to her last, he held her hand when she died and he was the walking reminder that his mother had been here. I sometimes pretended I only knew her in my dreams; I almost had myself convinced until I looked into his eyes that were her's. It forced me to remember and then everything would come crashing down on my back." he said pausing.

"I began to resent him which he did in return. It was exactly the relationship I was trying to avoid, the mirror image of my father and I. I pushed Damon away, he responded by pushing me back. He was vindictive but I was just as bad. Everything I said I would never be, I became. Everything I said I wanted fell apart. He's was just like me, practically estranged from his father and sour. The only reason he stays here is because of Stefan. We haven't held a real conversation in years. And it bothers me so much. It pains me, but he holds no interest in repairing the semblance of a relationship that remains. " He stated.

Talk about al lot to absorb. I felt gratitude towards Giuseppe; he trusted me with his past. He was sharing his story with me. I knew the feelings he described, being so close to nothing mattering. Losing the one's you love. I could relate to him and I sympathized with him. I cleared my throat and prayed that I wouldn't be crossing any line.

"With all due respect sir. I'm not going to sit here and pretend to know the pain and hardships you endured but trust me I can relate. But from my own personal experiences, a blood bond is thicker than anything. Family is family, love like that is unconditional, as much as you want to pull away you can't. And trust me I know it isn't an easy task. After my parent's death, my own brother resented me for surviving. In the heat of a fight he even told me that he wished I would have died and one of them have lived, and for a while I did too. Sometimes I still do. He's said horrible things to me and I to him but we always find our way back to one another. If my parents could be proud about anything I have done, I would hope that it's that I never turned my back on my family. I know that's what they would have wanted. And I think that's what Elizabeth would have wanted" I said boldly.

His lips pulled into a genuine smile that stunned me, identical to Damon's before shaking his head.

"You are wise beyond your years Elena. Much like Elizabeth was. Which brings me to my point of this whole story. I realize my mistake, Damon's sweet disposition has become severe and he holds little value in relationships other than with Stefan. That was until you came here. I've seen change, slowly but there is change. You bring out the best in him; it's obvious he is smitten with you Elena." He says with a knowing smile. My cheeks blanch before flushing red.

_Is he?_ I think.

"Yes he is Elena. I know my son and the last time I saw this compassionate side of his, his mother was alive. And that's why I approve of whatever the two of you have going on. You draw out those qualities about him that I have missed for so many years, his fierce loyally, his protectiveness and mostly his ability to love completely. Because you are very much his Elizabeth, his saving grace. His twin flame." He smiles widely at me and I felt my eyes widen.

He was dead serious, not only did he give us his blessing he compared me to the love of his life, insinuating I would be Damon's. I didn't know what to say. So I didn't. I stood up abruptly and rounded the large table and wrapped my arms around his tall frame. He was stiff at first but soon enough his arms raised as he patted my back gently. I pulled away from him and smiled.

"You had your troubles raising your sons I'm sure Giuseppe but don't doubt yourself. Stefan and Damon are both wonderful individuals, I wouldn't want them any other way. Give yourself some credit; you raised two successful men who are closer than any siblings I have ever seen. The things thrown your way were out of your hands, but this." I said motioning to the door, where Damon was undoubtedly trying to listen in if I knew him like I thought I did.

"This you have control of. We are never guaranteed another day, don't wait to do something's. He is your son, even if he doesn't come around today, he will eventually. That's what you can do for yourself, Elizabeth and mostly for your sons." I concluded, praying I hadn't over stepped my boundaries. He was an adult and I was just some silly little girl trying to keep up with conversation at the adult table prematurely. He however smiled and nodded, he looked like he was soaking up my advice.

"Thank you Elena. You've helped me in more ways than one. More than you will ever know. I see you as the daughter I never had and one that both my wife and your parents would be proud of. "

My eyes welled up with tears before nodding and turning my back on him with a smile. I grasped the cool metal of the doorknob and turned it, pulling it slightly open slowly incase Damon was sitting behind it.

"Ohh and Elena?" He said, I turned to look at him. His mouth was set in a smirk as he chuckled.

"Send in Damon."

… …**...**

Twenty fucking minutes. I checked my watch again. Oh actually another then minutes have passed since she has been in there, probably getting a verbal tirade from Lucifer himself.


	26. Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks

**HELLO EVERYONE! PROPS TO YOU GUYS FOR ALL THAT REVIEWING! YOU ARE ALL AWSOME! As promised here is the Giuseppe/Damon chapter and honestly I struggled a little bit with it. In my opinion it could be better, but to tell you the truth I kinda pulled this whole Damon/Giuseppe relationship out of my ass last chapter, I needed another story line and their relationship wasn't very specific so I'm going out on a limb and trying it. Don't hate me if you don't like it please! Let me know your thoughts, questions or comments by reviewing below and I'll do my best to respond (I've been slacking on the replies lately, my bad) **

**THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEWING! ENJOY!**

…**. … …**

**DAMON P.O.V:**

My finger tapped against the dull white wall incessantly. My feet turned from side to side clicking against the worn out hardwood floor. Twenty minutes have turned into thirty, rounding on forty minutes. What the hell is he doing in there? Telling his life story? I hope he at least was being gentle, my father wasn't known for his sensitivity or sympathy. He was hardened, Elena was soft and sweet and I wanted nothing more than to barge in his office and take her somewhere else. There were two problems with that plan, Elena like independence, she hates showing weakness and me swooping in would surly piss her off. Secondly, my father would probably punch me, and frankly Damon Salvatore is too damn classy for a Jerry Springer style altercation.

The door swings open and I see Elena's figure in the jam. She hesitates for a minute before continuing out into the hallway. Her big eyes flick up to mine and her face is expressionless. She walks over to me and slides down on the wall next to me without a word. I was even more worried than before.

"What did he say?" I asked. She just shook her head before pecking my lips slightly and resting her hand on my cheek.

"It's your turn" she said as her nails scraped against my stubble.

I resisted the temptation to purr like a freaking cat as her fingers danced across my face and on my jaw line. Planting one more kiss on the corner of my mouth. I rose quickly from my position on the floor and stared at the menacing door, fearing the worst and entered my father's office, now it was her turn to wait. I flopped down in the chair opposite of him, the leather still warm front Elena's occupation. It was comforting and the area smelled of her. My father sat in his chair rolling a crystal tumbler between his hands, studying the facets of it before placing it on his desk and piling off the stopper to the crystal decanter and pouring himself a glass of bourbon. His hair was messy as if he was stressed and had been running his finger through it over and over again. He looked up at me before taking a gulp of it and setting it down on the dark wood of the desk. He looked at me expectantly. He made it too easy to be spiteful honestly, I sat in silence determined for him to speak the first words. I counted the seconds in my head, _30, 31,32…_ he rapped his fingers on the desk creating an irritating pattern. _ One minute, _he lifted the crystal glass to his thin lips and sipped from it before carefully placing it down. _Two minutes of silence, _he grabbed his reading glasses from the table top and opened the newspaper. So much for having a talk. My anger boiled over at his incompetence to humor me just once.

"So are you going to talk or were you just going to indulge your alcoholic tendencies and have me watch and learn how to be a real man?" I ask bitterly, my tone laced with venom. He smirked at me before placing the paper down on the desk and removing his glasses. His hands disappeared momentarily and the sounds of glasses clinking chimed in the otherwise silent room. His hands emerged clutching onto another tumbler. He slowly twists the stopper off of the decanter like he has all the time in the world and fills the glass about halfway before slowly sliding the glass to me. Jesus Christ did the man do anything fast?

"Like father like son" He replied, if I wasn't so pissed at him I would have enjoyed the banter, but I was furious.

"Don't give me that shit dad." I said angrily. "If you are going to yell, lecture or beat me just do it now, you can cut the father son bonding shit its making me nauseous" I spat.

"Down boy." He said smirking. I rolled my eyes at him before pushing my chair back; I didn't have to take his shit. I'll buy my own damn house. I wordlessly turned and reached the door before my father spoke.

"Damon wait. I'm sorry. Let's talk sit down son. "

I hesitantly dragged my sorry ass back to the leather chair and sat down, grabbing the crystal cup and taking a swig of the amber liquid. It burned down my throat pleasantly and I swallowed.

"So. Elena.?" He prompts before leaning back against his chair.

"You're going to have to be more specific if you want to talk father." I snapped at him.

"Care to expand? I can't say that I'm surprised she roped you in; you were always a sucker for a beautiful woman with a sharp tongue. It's entertaining to watch someone finally put you in your place, and a young woman do it." He chuckled. I sat quietly knowing he would continue talking.

"So what exactly is going on between you two?" He asked curiously, I guess Elena hadn't disclosed the details.

"We're together." I said. It didn't seem to be enough considering I was Nicholas Sparks style in love with the girl. I kept my answer simple, not caring to expand.

"I gathered that from the driveway incident." he said with a smile playing at his lips. Who the hell was this man and what did he do to my father?

"Why do you care? Why the sudden interest in pretending to be a father?"

"Believe it or not Damon I do care about you and Stefan immensely." I snort slightly. Not buying one word that came out of his mouth. "I know I haven't been the most supportive and understanding. It pains me, I promised myself I would never be like my father but yet, here I am practically the same. I know I wasn't the best father. I am an even poorer role model but I want you to be happy Damon. And correct me if I'm wrong but judging by what unfolded before me on the driveway, Elena makes you happy." He said with a small smile. I took another gulp from my cup and he followed suit. I had never had a heart to heart with my father. Now he was asking me about my emotions and feelings, it was far too for my tastes.

"Yea she makes me happy. What's not to be happy with she's perfect?" I stated. He raised his eyebrows before covering his smile with his hands and resting on his hands and elbows. "I haven't had a conversation with you since I was fifteen that was even remotely father son related I don't know why you have this new found joy for family counseling but I'm not buying it. So if you would please cut to the chase it would be greatly appreciated."

"Okay. It's Elena. The girl got me thinking." He shrugged as he ran his fingers along the edge of the smooth wood of the desk.

Elena has that effect on people, sometimes she just does things that you don't understand. I can't decide if she should be canonized yet or not. She's very insightful, and she makes you think.

"She reminds me so much of your mother. So sweet, very smart and gentle. But Elena's different, more stable then your mother was, more independent. Her fire is her best trait I think, the raw passion. You can see it even when she talks, especially about her family. Don't you agree." Alright I would play along and see where his was going.

"It's no secret the girl is a saint and a prophet and all that biblical shit. And her passion, that's what i love about her." I practically just admitted to my father I loved her. He smiled slightly knowingly and if it was possible to be blushing right now I would be.

"You love her." He insinuated. It wasn't a question just a statement. His eyes burned into mine uncomfortably as I squirmed in my seat, trying to talk my way out of this one. I could always leave again.

"You don't have to answer that." He offered. I rolled my eyes at him and answered anyway.

"Yes." I said simply. One word. One seemingly insignificant word held so much promise, so much truth and so much emotion. I wasn't liking the turn of conversation and directed back to the point. "I'm sorry but what does being a father have anything to do with Elena?"

" Chalk it up to curiosity, I approve by the way. You could have done a lot worse." He chuckles.

Which was his way of saying I didn't deserve her, I already knew that. But it didn't take the sting off somebody else saying it, I was wrong for Elena undoubtedly. Every facet of my personality challenged hers, my values and who I was, but somehow despite all that we were quite similar. Just thinking about it confused me.

"Anyway, like I said she got me thinking. We got to talking and I shared my own story with her. In turn she gave me some insight; I must say the girl has lived through more pain and sorrow than anyone I know. And yet, she is so resilient, so sensitive of others." He said sounding awed, I knew he had liked her but I didn't know he had this much respect for her. I felt pride swell in my chest as he praised her.

"She told me her story." I added. He looked surprised but continued on his thought. He ran his fingers through his hair as he spoke.

"She offered her opinion, which I took. Since you already know what happened you will understand how the accident affected her and her brother. Despite their differences and hostility they were all the other had, they both realized that their parents would have wanted their family to be as whole as possible. I released from her words how right they were. I abandoned you and Stefan, along with any semblance of family that your mother and I had built. I could appease my thoughts of regret and make excuses all I wanted but Elena showed me another path. She reminded me that blood is thicker than anything, no matter the struggles. I want to heal us Damon. I get it, it's not going to be an overnight occurrence, I wouldn't expect it to be one. I just would like to die one day knowing that my wrongs had been righted. And you are my greatest wrong, I had no right to hold my own personal demons against you, but I did. But mostly I don't want you to follow in my footsteps with your own children one day."

If my mouth wasn't open I'm sure my face reflected my shock. He wanted to mend us, whatever we had going on he wanted to fix. He had never expressed any interest in repairing our relationship, I hadn't even heard the word's 'I'm sorry' come out of his mouth before today. So what happened? _Elena happened I_ think. Elena did this. Her warmth melted even the freaking ice miser that was my father. All I ever wanted was his approval and attention as a child. And when I didn't get it I turned to other means, by 15 I was drinking and smoking just deliberately to get him angry. Because for a struggling kid with only one parent who didn't give their kid the time of day, negative attention was better than being ignored. I can say I hate my father all I want but I don't, I get it. He suffered; he lost the woman he loved. But then again so did I. I lost my mother. I watched her die, heard her last breath and cuddled into her side as she lay motionless. I think that's why I'm so bitter, because not once did he think of how god damn hard it was for me, he thought only of his pain. It's obvious what side of the family I got my selfishness from. He missed out on all the milestones, high school graduations, teaching me how to drive, sports teams. I had to outsource for help and attention. I turned to women to give me love and affection to fill the void that had been in my life since her death. But after the night was over I was still left with my problems.

"I still don't think you get it. I think you forget dad that I missed her too. I still miss her more than anything, I was in pain too. But you were too busy in your own god damn son story to give a shit about me or Stefan. I practically raised Stefan for you, while you were out getting drunk. You know he called me dad sometimes. And what the hell was I supposed to say, a brother less than seven years younger than me? 'Nope sorry Stef your dad is too ashamed to look at his own children. That's why he is out getting pissed drunk to forget about the mother you will never meet and the kids he doesn't want.'? I was a child. All I wanted was someone to look up to, someone to tell me good job whine I got a test grade back, to play ball with me. Instead I raised my brother, who is only a few years younger than me. I had no childhood, it ended when mom died and when you chose the bottle over your son's." I felt my voice rising as I purged all the things I have wanted to say l him for years.

"I know. I do get it Damon, the same thing was done to me by my own father. I had become exactly what I wanted so badly to avoid." He replied quietly. "I was and still am selfish. I can't change what I did then but sure as hell can now. Starting with you.". He said quietly, his face wrinkling with emotion.

"Damon you deserve to know that I am proud of the man you have become and the man you helped Stefan grow into." He choked out, his eyes filling up with tears. The emotionless man had a weakness. It was a humbling thing to see, my father was crying for me. No matter what we had been through, I hated seeing him like this.

"It okay dad. I forgive you." I replied before awkwardly adjusting myself in my chair. He didn't know how to be emotional any better than I knew how to act around crying people. We both simultaneously picked up our glasses and downed the remainder of their contents. We chuckled at the act and he picked up the bottle and filled each glass slightly more. I needed to be drunk for the rest of this. He looked much more relieved and relaxed, I can only imagine the demon's in his closet. I have no idea how he fits so many in there, he has quite the suit collection. Nonetheless it felt good to clear the air. I was emotionally and emotionally exhausted, I just wanted to leave and lose myself in Elena, but instead I sipped from my glass again. I was growing increasingly antsy.

"So tomorrow's the day huh?" My father asks. Obviously understanding that I'm done with the serious talk for now. I don't care how old I get, I still have the emotional capability of a six year old, and you know what? I'm okay with it, I embrace it. Sure enough, tomorrow is the day.

"Yep." I replied.

"Is everything in order for tonight? The travel arrangements? The restaurant?" He asked.

I shook my head yes. Tomorrow was Elena's birthday and I had planned her a little surprise. I knew she would never willingly let us do anything for her, hence the surprise. AKA she has no choice. This isn't America; you don't have freedom of choice in the Salvatore house.

"I just need to take care of a few things but yes for the most part. I'm going to need the key for the coast house next weekend if you don't mind, for her present." I stated. He nodded his head.

"Of course. Run along, I know you would rather be out there with her out and about. Go ahead." He said shooing me with his hand. I rose from the chair and nodded at my father.

"She's a good person Damon. She brings out the best in you, the things that I took away. Don't mess this up." He warned. It was obvious he cared for Elena like a child. She warmed even the coldest people.

"I wouldn't even think of it. Thanks Dad." I said as I walked out of the room, instantly reveling in the change of atmosphere. The hallway was empty and quiet, and calming. I was no longer stuck in the suffocating office. I set off to find Elena, the reason for my father and my reconciliation. Was there anything the girl couldn't do? The kitchen was empty and so was the den, I heard the faint rush of water and I knew she was upstairs showering. Instead of thinking about her in the shower, I decided to go upstairs and wait for her myself.

I rapped my knuckles on the door to be safe; when I didn't get a response I opened her door. The room was empty and the door to her bathroom was closed, I walked lazily around the room looking at the things she had piled on the dressers and armoire. Pictures of her and a woman with dark skin and bright green eyes. My eyes moved to a picture of her blowing out candles on a cake that said 'happy 13th birthday Len' in pink frosting. The adorable younger version of Elena down at the cake happily as what I guessed to be her family crowded around her. A woman with the same smile as Elena grasped her daughter's shoulders. The man had one arm around his daughter and one around his wife as a young boy snuck into the middle of them. She looked so happy, so young and energetic, surrounded by the love and support of her family. I put the pictures back in their proper before walking over to her bed and dramatically flopping on it. It smelled of her, she was flooding my senses and she wasn't even in front of me. The water clicks off and I hear the shower door swing closed. I roll onto my back and place my hands behind my head as I wait for her to emerge. She came out a few minutes later in an oversized tee-shirt with her hair still dripping and her face bare. She still looked like a goddess.

"Seriously?" she asks as she notices me laying on the bed.

"Get dressed Gilbert we are going out." I said as I lifted my head to look at her. She crossed her arms over her chest and her eyebrows knit together forming a crease, I so desperately wanted to smooth.

"Why?" she asked suspiciously with eyes narrowed.

"I heard tomorrow is someone's birthday, that's all. And I wanted to take you out tonight. By that I mean I AM taking you out to dinner tonight and I don't care if you kick and scream, it's happening. Also, I wanted to do this." I got up and closed the distance between the two of us before crushing my lips to hers. Letting my gratitude diffuse into the kiss. My hands lingered at her waste as she pulled back, her eyes wide.

"Be ready in an hour, we have a reservation. Dress to impress Miss Gilbert." I said sly as I slipped out of her room and walked directly across the hallway into mine.

I shed my dirty clothes and put them into the hamper before taking a long shower. I lazily stepped out a half hour later and wrapped a fluffy towel off of the rack and wrapped it around my waste. It was days like this I was glad to be a man; women took years to get ready. Elena wasn't too bad but I specifically remember thinking Caroline would have gone into menopause by the time she was ready in Milan. Being a guy was great. I strolled over to my closet and sifted through my shirts, skipping my customary black section and going to the only other colors I owned, blue, white and gray. I remember Elena saying her favorite color was blue one time; I smirked as I slid the long sleeved blue button up on each arm and tucked it into my black slacks. I sauntered my way over to the mirror and smirked at what I saw. _Hello Adonis _I thought cockily and folded my cuffs to perfection. A soft knock at my door had me turning as it opened.

Elena stood in the doorway smiling at me. I felt my jaw drop; her hair fell in perfect curls around her face which was glowing. She wore a stunning white cocktail dress that contrasted with her tan skin making her look even more like a goddess. It had high thick straps I imagined peeling from her skin before it plunged to show the slightest bit of cleavage before shooting back up into another strap. My gaze traveled down her body to her tanned legs that looked miles long courtesy of the sky high heels she was wearing. The woman was a temptress.

"Elena." I said admiring her again and approaching her slowly. I cupped her face in my hands and whispered against her lips. "You look disgusting', before pecking her lips. She giggled and gently pushed on my chest. I seized one of her hands and linked it with mine, intertwining our fingers.

….. … …..

**ELENA POV:**

"Wow. This place is beautiful." I commented as we pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant.

The sun had gone down and the only light came from the twinkle lights wrapped on the tree's surrounding the place. It was gorgeous. I huffed as I took Damon's hand to help me out of the car, this place was cute but I HATED birthdays. I didn't like the center of attention, I didn't want reminders of the family traditions and I didn't want to get older. But here I was dragged out here by good looks and the promise of good food. I couldn't help it, Damon consumed my every thought. Things I would have never imagined doing, I did with him. I was becoming more and more the Elena that died when she and her parent's went off of Wickery Bridge and it felt good. The nightmares haven't stopped, their frequency has decreased. But I still wake up most nights crying or screaming, only to have two arms tighten around me and a soft voice telling me that everything is okay. The man was ripping out my insides, restructuring them and replacing them with finesse, I didn't even care. I was putty in his hands, god I was such a sap.

"Shall we signorina?" he asked with flourish, earning a giggle. I linked my arm in his before we began walking into the restaurant.

It was even cuter inside, typical Italy. Classy and sharp. I let go of his hand as I looked around the place as he conversed in beautiful Italian with the host quietly. I rolled my eyes, knowing he was probably going to try to embarrass me with some train of singing waiters. But lucky for me this place was no Chucky Cheese so I think I am in the clear. However my sense of security wavered when he pulled back from the host's side and smirked before turning and ushering me over. I took the chance to look at him in all of his glory, he had traded out his signature black shirt for a blue one. His eyes were enough to make me dizzy just looking at them, he looked stunning. No man should look so entirely edible. He grasped my hand tightly and squeezed it. We followed the man dressed impeccably in all black out to a back patio that was had the same continuous twinkle lighting. Lanterns were also hanging from the veranda creating a soft glow. I was too busy staring at Damon's face in the perfect lighting to notice much else. The strong chisel of his jaw and his sharp features. His dark hair messily spread over his forehead, some pieces hanging while other's stuck up. He was so gorgeous. He looked down the side of his cheek at me with a knowing smirk. We winded along the stone pathway and I gripped onto Damon's arm for support as my heels wobbled between the small stones. I let out a small gasp as the path ended and opened into a larger patio.

Only one table sat in the middle of the patio with a perfect white linen table cloth, a vase of peonies on the top as well as silverware and plates. It was perfection. The only thing wrong with the picture was there two empty chairs; one was already filled by a woman. Her long black hair sat curled against her back and I felt my eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. As we neared the table, the lady turned around and I was met by two green eyes. I gasped and stopped in my place.

"BONNIE?"


	27. This is My Confessional

**200 REVIEWS! YOU GUYS ARE ALL AWSOME. I'M LITTERALLY FREAKING OUT. AS PROMISED, THIS IS THE CHAPTER. IT'S SEPERATED INTO TWO PARTS, SO WHAT YOU DON'T GET IN THE FIRST PART WILL BE ANSWERED IN THE SECOND. I LOVE YOU ALL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND REVIEWING! LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS DOWN BELOW! THANKS AGAIN AND ENJOY!**

**EMILY**

…. … ….

"Elena Oh my God!" Bonnie squeals as she jumps to her feet and runs over to me with her small arms open wide. Damon's grasp loosens on my hand as I look up at him with wonder. He is wearing a small knowing smile that is completely gorgeous.

"Go." He whispers as he nudges my arm. I do my best to run over to Bonnie. We both giggle as we tightly embrace one another for a long moment before pulling back. Each of us wearing a ridiculous smile that is plastered to our faces. Oh how I have missed my best friend.

"What the hell are you doing here Bennett?" I gasp, still trying to grasp that my best friend that I haven't seen in four months has magically materialized in front of me.

"For your birthday Elena! You are seriously disturbed if you thought I was going to miss this." She scoffed and rolled her eyes.

She walked back to her seat and sat down. I sat down opposite of her in the only other chair before looking up at Damon confused. He smiled at me sweetly, so different then his smirks and other smiles. This was one of pure joy. I rose from my chair immediately and strolled back towards him. He stood with his hands in his pockets as his eyes tracked my movements.

"Come sit down! I'll introduce you guys! You're going to love her!" I said as I pulled at his collar. He smiled that smile that gave me heart palpitations again and I practically melted. I should start carrying an A.E.D in my purse when I'm with him.

"Catch up with your friend Lena. I'll be at the bar; I'll join you ladies later. Save all the good girl talk for when I get back babe." He says with a smirk before kissing me gently. It was so easy to get lost in him; I had to constantly remind myself that Bonnie was here with us.

"Don't bother ordering, is already ordered your favorites." He said, stroking my cheek.

"You're the best. You know that?" I asked. He smirked and was sure to make a cocky remark." Don't answer that." I said before turning around. He guided me back to my seat and pulled it out for me; I plopped down in it and looked at Bonnie who was intently gauging Damon.

"Hey Buffy, Feel free to get this one piss drunk if you want. But be careful she tends to get a touchy, even a little gropey.." he trails off looking at Bonnie with a devilish smirk.

"It's Bonnie and get your ass outta here Salvatore or I'll clip your engine wires." I threatened. His eyes widened as he threw his hands up in defense before turning on his heel and leaving the patio. I watched him until his figure disappeared into the darkness.

"Elena Gilbert is that you?" Bonnie asks with a small smile on her full lips. I was confused by her question.

"You're joking and flirting and you seem really happy. I'm so happy for you Elena." Bonnies said sincerely.

I know she had worried about me, everyone always did. If I was in Mystic Falls it was Jer and Jenna, if I was at school it was Rick and Bonnie. I knew Bonnie would be worried about me once I left all my friends and family, it could have gone one of two ways. One, I could have crashed and burned. And secondly, I would flourish, I wouldn't regret one minute of it.

"I am Bon. I really am. I feel so much more myself you know? A lot of that has to do with Damon." I said smiling. I couldn't help the goofy smile I always wore when I talked about him. He made me so happy.

"I can see that. You guys are adorable. And OH MY GOD HE IS FREAKING HOT! I mean I know you told me he was attractive but damn Elena. Major points to you for snatching him up. Tell me all about him. You hated him at first right?" She said excitedly.

Her eyes lit up with happiness. I think she was just glad that everything wouldn't be one sided now. She was always unloading stuff on me about Jaime, and I know she would never admit it but she felt like I was carrying the friendship. I didn't think that in the slightest, but it was nice for both of us for me to be able to reciprocate like a friend should.

"I loathed him. It's actually funny to think about now, how much things have changed. That first day I was here he insulted me over and over again and then tried to pick me up. Not exactly the best tactic. It might have worked if I was drunk.." I mused. Bonnie giggles and motions for me to continue.

"He's hard to ignore. The guy is hardly a wall flower, and he is gorgeous so there is always that. I guess it was his persistence that won me over, he showed me that there were better parts to him than just a skilled repertoire of sexual innuendos and cute smiles. He knows Bon." I said. I didn't need to explain anything else, she got it.

"He heard me have a nightmare one night and he just let me use him as a Kleenex." I giggled." He got me; he can read me like nobody else. He knows I have boundaries and he respects them, he's been my rock here. I've unloaded everything on him and I feel myself healing. I feel myself moving on, because I want to be with him. He's funny, spontaneous and adventurous, which forces me to step outside of my comfort zone and I make him step out of his. We just…..work. I don't know how or why but we do. When I'm with him, it just consumes me. I think I'm falling in love with him." I chuckle breathlessly. Overcome by my own realizations, I sat back in my chair exhausted. I can't be falling in love with him. I'm leaving in two months; I can't give my heart to someone else only to leave it in Italy when I go home. I'm scared, scared to death. Because if I want to heal that means I have to give into it, revel in it. But if I do that, when I leave my heart will wither away to nothing. Bonnie looks at me with a frown. She obviously doesn't hear my internal dilemma.

"Elena I think he's in love with you. Like a lot." She answers back simply.

"No!" I shout. She looks back at me shocked. I automatically felt bad, she's been here for five minutes and I already yelled at her. "I'm sorry, that's the second time I have heard that this week and I just don't see it. I can't let myself Bonnie, because if it's true then what? I leave in two months and not only break my own heart but Damon's as well? And what would that say about me Bonnie?" I asked, seriously stressing. I held my head in my hands and propped my elbows up on the table. The waiter quickly dropped off the first course and left.

"It would mean you are only human. You can't control who you love Elena. The longer you repress it and fight it, the stronger it gets. The two of you can figure something out but he is in love with you Elena. Who fly's a girl they have known for only four month's best friend out to Italy, offers a room in their home and full accommodations just because you two are 'friendly'?" she asks.

I don't know how I didn't put it together before, Damon did this. He set this up, he flew Bonnie out. A flood of warmth runs through my body. I smiled; he knew exactly what would make me happy. He was so considerate.

"Cocky rich bastard he is. That doesn't prove anything. Just wait until you see their house and cars, then you will understand." I said thinking of the four cars Damon had used, and I'm sure they have more than that. Their property in Milan also came to mind, they had more money than they knew what to do with.

"Not only that Elena, he just looked at you like.. I don't know. He was fascinated by you. But mostly it was the way his face lit up as he watched you Elena. I think you've driven the poor boy mad. But deny if you want. Deny deny deny, I'll be laughing at you during your wedding. I'm happy for you Elena, despite all the shit you've dealt with it you've still found happiness." She said as she shrugged her shoulders. I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"You are starting to sound like Caroline." I said exasperatedly. She cocked her head questioningly.

"My boss slash friend. She did the study abroad program here too; she actually lived with the Salvatore's too. She's a brilliant designer; she's actually designing a dress for me to wear for this big ball thing. She's great and a lot of fun, you'd love her. Anyways she is always trying to play matchmaker."

"How bad is she? Is she better than me?" Bonnie asked. Bonnie was always trying to set me up on dates with her friends and Jamie's friends, I went on a handful of dates but it just didn't worked out. Considering I was practically depressed and lonely. But Caroline was more persistent then Bonnie was.

"She rivals your greatest hits. Probably Fiddler on the Roof's as well. She's so much fun; you have to come visit me at work this week so you can meet her." I said, Bonnie and Caroline would be instant friends, I am sure of it.

"Definitely. It's not like I have much else to do around here other than exploring and tagging along behind you." She replied.

"Enough about my stuff, how are you doing? How was the flight over? I know you aren't too keen on planes, let alone nine or ten hours on a plane."

" I'm good Elena. Jaime said hi and that he misses you. Rick said grow a pair an do it, I don't know what that is referring to but it sounds interesting. I may or may not have taken a very large sleeping pill before going on the plane so I was passed out. "

"Good." I giggled which turned into a groan as I thought of my speech at graduation. If I told Bonnie she would make me do it, no doubt. "Rick and Professor Fleming want me to speak for the department at graduation. And naturally I'm opposed to it." I replied taking a sip of the crisp white wine the waiter placed before us.

"Grazie" I thanked him with a nod.

"You have to do it Elena. I know you. You know you'll complain and throw a tantrum, whine a little more and then end up doing it anyway, I know you Gilbert "She said deadpans.

"I know I know. "I whined, only proving her point. "That's beside the point. So when do you go back to the states?" I ask

She raises a well plucked eyebrow at me before smiling. "Trying to get rid of me already?" She asked, I giggled.

"You got me. You've been here for a half hour and I'm already sick and tired of you." I said sarcastically.

"Careful what you say Gilbert, we are going to be under the same roof for the entire week. Sleep with one eye open. And Ew! Tomorrow is your birthday. P.s, you're really old and it's scary. So any plans for tomorrow?" She asks as she sips from her wine glass. I honestly didn't know so I just shrugged. I wasn't big on birthdays but Bonnie being here changed things.

"I don't know. Everything changes now that you are here. Maybe I'll call in sick to work tomorrow so we can go do stuff." I said as I took a bite of chicken parmesan and moaned.

"Badass Gilbert playing hooky, Jaime would be so proud. We should go out tomorrow ". We both giggled.

"Sorry to interrupt ladies. May I join you?" Asked Damon who appeared out of thin air. A waiter stood next to him holding a chair. Bonnie nodded and smiled at him before smirking at me.

"So prim and proper Mr. Salvatore. Are you feeling under the weather or something?" I ask playfully. The waiter places his seat next to mine and quickly leaves. Damon however makes a show of walking around me slowly, his fingers running along my back.

"Nope" he whispers against my skin and makes me shiver. He sits in his chair dutifully and reaches for one of my hands. Bonnie clears her throat and looks expectantly at me.

"Ohh. Right. Bonnie Bennett this is Damon Salvatore. Damon Bonnie." I said motioning between them. He grasped her hand and shook it before returning it to mine and intertwining our fingers.

"I'd like to thank you again for you and your families' generosity Damon." Bonnie said politely. He smirked and waved his hand dismissing it.

"It's not trouble to me. It's very nice to meet you. So Bonnie you go to school with Elena?" He asked as he took a sip of the bourbon that was placed in front of him.

" Mmmhm. We met freshman year, she was actually my randomly chosen roommate, and I just got really really lucky." She mused chuckling.

"That you did." He said as his fingers danced along my thigh and tugged at the hem on my dress. I shot him a warning look that he only smirked at before continuing. My leg quivered under his touch and I quickly crossed them hoping he would get the idea. He stopped moving his fingers but let his hand rest on the exposed skin on my thigh.

"What's your major?" He asks a his fingers stroke small circles on my leg, it felt fantastic and just knowing it was his fingers made it that much better.

"Supernatural studies and folklore. My gram was a professor and I'm actually descended from a line of Salem witches." She said proudly, he always liked to share that.

"Wow. Lena why didn't you major in that, you could have been a hotter version of Sabrina the teenage witch." He said smirking. I rolled my eyes.

"You better be thanking god I picked international business or my ass would be sitting at home right now eying a carton of Ben and Jerry's in the dark sulking." I said chuckling. It was true though, I had no motivation at home, other than school, work and when I went running, I just sat at home.

"Touché." He said raising his glass at me. I pushed my back against the chair and rested my hands on my bloated stomach. Everything was so delicious, I was beyond full.

"So Bonnie any embarrassing stories? Any drunk stories about this one?" he asked. My eyes widened as he smirked at me. No, this wasn't going to be happening.

"There was this one time…" Bonnie started with a smile on her face.

"No Bonnie. Don't you dare." I interrupted shooting her a warning glance. If looks could kill her heart would be on the other side of the room right now. "Bonnie I will ruin you. Don't he will never let it go if you tell him." I pleaded. She seemed to weigh it for a second before continuing.

"Elena, Matt and I went out after finals week last year and got drunk. Well Elena got drunk enough for all of us combined." She laughed. Damn her.

"I had just finished a philosophy class. If you ever take a philosophy class then you will understand Bonnie instead of watching the Blair Witch Project all year." I defended myself and put my head in my hands.

"Please continue if she's getting this pissed it has to be good." Damon said encouragingly smirking at me as I glowered at the both of them.

"So Elena was BAD. She said she was going off to the bathroom to use the toilet while the rest of us stayed at the table. So like ten or fifteen minutes pass so I go into the bathroom and check, she isn't there. So I decide to call her phone which I knew was on her. Matt had to use the bathroom and it ended up Elena went into the men's room. Matt heard the ringing in the stall and opened the door. Elena was asleep against the side of a urinal." Bonnie finished. My face burned harder than ever before as I glared at the tablecloth.

Damon and Bonnie's obnoxiously loud laughing went on for a good few minutes before they both settled down. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I shook it off.

"Ohh come on pouty. At least give me points for ingenuity." He said wiping the tears from his eyes that were still crunched up from smiling.

"Bonnie Bennett sleep with one eye open." I warned her, she only giggled.

"And you." I turned to Damon. "I'm going straight to Giuseppe once we get home and I'm getting all the stories." I said. His eyes softened at the mention of his father. I hadn't gotten a chance to talk to him about the conversation with his father, but it seemed all went well. That was a relief, Damon was extremely unpredictable.

"What are you guys tight now or something?" he asked skeptically. I nodded yes at him before turning back to Bonnie.

"Oh yea we are planning a sleep over and everything." I roll my eyes at Damon. "Giuseppe is Damon's dad." I explained. A very confused looking Bonnie nodded in understanding.

"Lena we should probably start heading out if he two of you don't mind. It's getting late and the restaurant is closing in ten minutes." He said. I hadn't even realized, we had been here for almost four hours.

"That's fine with me. Ready Bon?" I asked. She said yes and we stood. I grabbed my bag and pulled my blazer over my shoulders and took Damon's arm.

…. ….. ….

**DAMON POV:**

This whole thing was completely worth it. I would do anything in the world to see her smile like that again. The two girls walked around the guest room checking things out before the two girls said goodnight with a hug, Elena and I left Bonnie to herself. Had wanted to spend time with her this evening but I was glad that she got some time with her friend. Who am I kidding I ALWAYS want to spend time with Elena, I wasn't to kiss her and touch her and listen to her, but mostly I just want to love her. A shudder runs down my arm when she grasps my hand and pulls me away from the closed door and toward the door of my room. We slip inside quietly before tumbling onto the bed. Her hair is splayed out around her and her eyes glowing with satisfaction and something else. Maybe affection? I still hand her hand clutched in mine, where it had been most of the evening when she moved from my side. Rolling over me until her body was pressing mine into the mattress. She grabs my neck and kisses me slowly, achingly. A slow burn resonates through my body and I return the kiss just as softly, enjoying her.

"What's the occasion? Not that I mind." I asked as she pulled back and looked at me.

"It's just a thank you; Bonnie told me this was all your doing. You don't know how much this means to me." She mutters breathlessly as she runs her hands through my hair. I close my eyes and revel in the feel of her on my body, in my brain and stabbing at my heart.

"Mmmm. Your welcome." I replied cupping her cheek, she smiles sweetly and leans into my touch. I sit up slightly until she is a small pile on my lap, still smiling at me.

"Now it's my turn." I say as I roll us over so she is gently pinned beneath me. My body touching hers in only a few spots. I gently lower my hips down so we are practically flush against one another; her eyes are wide as she takes me in. I kiss her again, only this isn't gentle. It's passionate, searing and we feverishly kiss like it would be our last. We both pulled back breathless.

"What was that for?" she asked in a whisper.

"A thank you. For whatever the hell you said to my father. He wants to start fixing things between us, he said that what you told him changed everything. I don't know what you said Elena but thank you. He's smitten with you, and then again so am I. I guess it runs in the family." I say shrugging. She giggles and smiles brightly up at me. I smile just at how beautiful and happy she looks and can't help but say what I was thinking.

"You are heart breakingly beautiful Lena." I said as I traced her lip with a finger. Her cheeks flushed a pleasant pink color before her smile was replaced by a small shy one. A flash of insecurity passes through her big brown eyes and I know it was because of that bastard, so I elaborated. She was beautiful and she deserved to feel beautiful and loved. Because she was.

"Your skin is so soft and unblemished." I said as I trailed my fingers along the column of her throat.

"Your cheeks that blush pink whenever I say something inappropriate or when you are embarrassed." I say running over her cheek and cupping it.

"Your silky hair that falls so perfectly over your shoulder. That when I kiss you, I'm tempted to run my fingers through.

I push back her hair and run my fingers along the long curled tresses. My gaze drops down to her quivering lips as her eyes gauge me uncertainly. "And these lips, you always say the unexpected. But more importantly they tear apart my insides when you kiss me." I pressed a soft kiss to her mouth before moving on.

"Your eyes are one of my favorite parts about you, every emotion and desire I see in them. Like now for instance you are scared, don't be scared Elena. Not with me." I whisper, somewhere along my little speech losing my voice.

"But the one part that beats out all the others is this." I say as I slide my hand down her chest and rest it on her heart. A small whimper escapes her mouth as her hand covers mine. "Your heart is pure and kind Elena. And that fire and passion is one of the reasons.." I trail off. This wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to be a confession. But this is what she needs and I need it to. My heart swelled as I stared at the girl hanging on to my every word, so innocent and perfect. So sad and broken. And yet passionate and stronger than anyone I knew. She was changing me, making me into a better man. A man who's life now only revolved around loving her for as long as she would let him. She needed someone to love her, unconditionally and irrevocably. She was cheated out of love with Mason, it was one sided. What she needed was someone to just love her with every ounce of their being, she needed that assurance and I was ready to give it to her. I swallowed and spoke quietly, my voice thick with emotion.

"It's one of the reasons I'm in love with you Elena."


	28. Jesus, Mary, Joseph and Damon

**Be gentle with me please…this was a very trying chapter. It's important to remember who Elena is, she thinks about everyone but herself. Thanks for the EXSTENSIVE reviewing I've been getting lately! Thanks for reading as always! **

*************P.S! THIS STORY IS ON THE LATTER HALF AND I'M STARTING TO COME UP WITH SOME PRETTY GOOD IDEAS FOR THE NEXT ONE, MY QUESTION IS WHAT KIND OF FICTION WOULD YOU PREFER? A HUMAN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE (A.U) OR WOULD YOU PREFER A VAMPIRE FICTION? LET ME KNOW IN THE REVIEW SECTION OF PROVATE MESSAGE ME, SINCE YOU GUYS ARE SO GREAT I THOUGHT I WOULD LET YOU DECIDE. Thanks!**

"What did you just say?" I asked breathlessly. The wind knocked out of me from what I thought I heard I must be deaf or something. His ice eyes were warm with some unnamed emotion as he gazed down at me ardently.

"I said I love you Elena. I'm in love with you." I sat motionless absorbing the information just staring at him. _I'm falling in love with you! _I scream back in my head. His eyes are still full of that emotion, only it's no longer nameless. That's love. My heart drops to my stomach and I feel sick with guilt, sick with emotion. I shove him off of me before standing up. I didn't miss the hurt expression that flashed on his features as I shakily stood up and ran into the bathroom. Squatting over the toilet I violently get sick. Put purging everything in my stomach does nothing to calm it. Tears stream down my face as I slump against the wall. This can't be happening. He can't love me. I'm not worthy of his love, I will only bring him disappointment and pain and Damon is too good for that. He is too good for me. It doesn't make sense why he should love me, plain boring small town Elena, with enough issues to own a Kleenex factory. He shouldn't want me, he shouldn't love me. 'm only going to hurt him, and the pure guilt, guilt from something that wasn't supposed to happen and something I didn't have control over was killing me, eating me. I've already hurt him, he was at his most vulnerable and I ran out of his arms and got sick from the idea of loving me.

"Elena?" he asks softly. His expression is relieved a little but also concerned. That look is still in his eyes and I feel another wave of nausea rip through my body. I lean over the toilet and get sick again. His presence is making it worse, because I know he is just trying to care for me, that he just loves me. I dry heave again, but nothing is left to purge. Two warms hands are at my neck and gather my hair into a ponytail before rubbing my back gently in small soothing circles. My body convulses under his caring touch and my body wracks in silent cries. I'm glad he can't see my face right now. My hand weakly lifts and flushes the toilet before sitting with my back against the side wall. Damon's face is slightly pale and he is frowning, his eyebrows knit together in worry in the middle. His eyes meet mine and he offers me a small sympathetic smile.

"So I tell you I love you and you vomit. Noted." He joked lightly. He didn't know how true that statement really was. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs and tucked my head in the void, not able to meet his eyes. _I love you Elena _replays in my head over and over again. Hot tears stream down my face as I try to calm my breathing. It would only hurt him to see me crying about this. But I couldn't help the small sob that escaped me as I felt two strong arms pulling me into his lap. His back to mine. And because I'm a masochist I let him do it, I let him whisper soothing things in my ear and let him run his fingers through my hair gently.

"Talk to me Lena." He says gently in my ear. I can hide all I want but he deserves to know the truth. I spin slightly on his lap so I am facing him; I wipe the tears off of my cheeks and look at him. His expression has gone back to worried and pained.

"You can't love me Damon." I say my voice thick with tears. His body tenses under mine and his eyebrows pull together again.

"I can't let you love me Damon. I'm only going to hurt you; I may never be able to reciprocate the feeling and you deserve so much more than me." Another round of tears stream down my cheek as I reach out to touch his face.

"Elena." He whispers sympathetically. I don't deserve sympathy. "You know I had no intention of pushing you." He said carefully gauging my reaction.

"No. That's not it Damon. You aren't pushing me it's just you can't love me! I'm so messed up, I don't even know what love is. I don't even know if it exists. But I'm not going to string you along until I figure it out. I can't. You deserve someone who can sleep a full night without having to talk them down from the ledge, someone who doesn't hesitate to say I love you back. Someone who can fulfill all of your needs and then some. I'm not that person Damon. You can't be in love with me." I stuttered as I sobbed, I covered my mouth with my hands. It did nothing to suppress the sobs. I look up at his face which is expressionless, great now he's hurt. The irony of the situation was not lost one me, the one thing I was avoiding at all costs was hurting him, but that was the only way he could move on. _You could stay. Stay with him. Let him love you. _I think for a moment, but I can't. He grasps me around my knees and places a hand under my arms before lifting me up bridal style and carrying me to his bed. I'm too caught up in my own thoughts to care. He gently lays me down on the bed without meeting my eyes and turns his back to me. One of his hands reach up and he runs his fingers through his hair. His feet start moving as he paces back and forth.

"I can't love you." He mutters sarcastically before he turns around and faces me.

"You know Elena your whole trying not to hurt me plan is backfiring a bit." He said bitterly as he ran both of his hands through his hair. "You have no idea what you are talking about Elena. I deserve somebody better then you? I don't even deserve to have you Elena. You know why? Because I'm selfish, I take what I want and I don't care. And you know what I could sit here and tell you I'm sorry but I'm not. Because no apology in the world encompasses all the reasons I am wrong for you and why as long as I live I will always be wrong for you. I can look past a lot of things Elena but I'm not letting you get away from this without an explanation. You don't have any control of who loves you Elena, so I'm sorry if I offended you but that's not going to change. I'll love you where ever you go, if it's in America or in Italy I don't care. I'll love you if you break up with me now and I'll love you if we stay together. Because I am that selfish, selfish enough to love you despite everything. So don't you tell me it doesn't exist Elena." He said passionately, angrily. He stalked closer to the bed and looked my straight in the eye, blue eyes to brown.

"I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that you don't feel something for me." He demanded. I shuddered at his tone. I had overstepped my boundaries. I had struck a nerve with Damon. I expected a reaction but I didn't expect the reaction I had in return. I felt my own anger fueled by his tirade as I stood up. My legs no longer wobbled, I walked with purpose up to him.

"Oh I feel Damon. I feel something and you know what? It scares me? It scares me to death. I don't know how to act or who to be? I'm out of control around you, and it drives me crazy. This wasn't supposed to happen. Because when I leave in two months I won't only be ripping my own heart out I'll be ripping your heart out as well. And I can live with the self-mutilation, but I can't live with the thought of hurting you Damon. I'm no good for you, and the sooner you realize that the better it will be for both of us. Because I'm pretty sure I'm falling in love with you…" My reply was cut short by a pair of lips crushing to mine.

Damon was wrapped around me like Ivy as he angrily and passionately kissed me. I pushed back with equal pressure fervently pouring my emotions out in a brutal and bruising kiss. He pushes me back until the back of my knee's hit the bad and we fall into a mass on the oversized mattress. His hands pull at my hair band letting it down as his hands dropped to my waist, he pulled me ever closer. I bit down just between the line of pleasure and pain on his lip and he moaned into my mouth. I opened my mouth and let his expert tongue take control over me as we rolled on the bed, his body hovering over mine. He pulled back and let me catch my breath which was wheezing slightly, he only moved down from my face. Nibbling and sucking at the bare skin before stopping at my pulse point and biting gently. I moaned at the feeling and knotted my fingers in his hair. I didn't care about anything right now, I didn't care that I hurt him, that he didn't get me and I didn't get him, all I cared about was the fact that Damon was everywhere. The bed smelled of him and my skin stung from his touch. I knew it would be like this, we fought hard, but we loved harder.

"I'm sorry." I whispered as he moved back up my neck and to my mouth.

"It's okay." He says breathlessly as he pulls back and looks at me. His cheeks flushed. I pull him to me again, only this time it isn't bruising. It's slow and it's sweet, calming but just as room spinning. That's when the pain and guilt comes back. He stops again and opens his eyes.

"Stop thinking Elena. Just let yourself feel. Be selfish, take what you want." He whispered against my lips.

"I want you." I growled as I rolled us over. I ripped his shirt open and ran my hands along the hard lines of his chest and his stomach. I straddled him and bent to press my mouth against his, my arms gripping his shoulders. And I did want him, more than I have wanted anything before. It was like I flicked a switch, rather he did. Any rational thoughts dissipated when he kissed me until I was left as a sloppy pile of need, desire for him. His fingers played at the top of my neck toying with my zipper as his mouth stayed busy on mine.

"Are you sure Elena? Because once I start I don't think I'll be able to stop." He panted rolling off of me. Now wasn't the time for conversation, I wanted his pants off.

"Yes." I relied quickly.

"Why?" he asked looking at me curiously. I knew he wouldn't continue with anything less than a thorough answer so I thought for a second and caught my breath.

"There are only two guarantees in life. Birth and death, it's not certain you'll live to be twenty. That space between is limited, and you have to do everything in your power to do what you want and get what you want during that time. I didn't get that before, but I get it now. Carpe diem. But that's just what I think. That's the selfish Elena speaking." I concluded. I stared at the ceiling before he pulled me onto him and rolled us over so I was pressed into the mattress. His lips run up and down my neck and my breath catches in my throat.

"Mmmm. When did you become so insightful ?" He asked against my skin.

"Since you yelled at me." I gasped out as his lips moved up to mine. He chuckles slightly before pulling me up.

"Okay you passed. Now let's get you out of this dress." He said, his voice husky, boarder line Siberian. His blue eyes were darkened to almost a gray shade as his hands caressed my body, gently sliding around my curves and up my back. The cool metal of the zipper disappeared against my skin as he slowly stripped the dress from my body. I stood stark in my underwear and thanked god I wore matching pieces today. His eyes raked up and down my body and I shifted in my spot self-consciously, the fire still burning on the inside, the want and desire only magnifying at the scorching look he was giving me. He leads me back to the bed where I flop down and he smiles at me.

"Don't be self-conscious Elena. Not with me. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. And you know what's even better?" he whispers in the shell of my ear, I shiver from the pleasure. "You're mine." He growled sending an unadulterated jolt of lust through my body at his possessive tone. He climbs on top of me and grinds his hips into my core making me gasp from the contact, the pressure is heaven.

"Look what you do to me Elena. You, only you." He says as he grabs my hand and pushes it into his erection. My body goes into overdrive. He slips the shirt from his shoulders and slides over me. Our chests heaving and pressed up against one another. I slowly move from his mouth down his neck, kissing along his hard chest. I run my hand back up his smooth skin and raise my eyes to gauge his reaction. His eyes are closed in bliss and a small smile is on his lips. My hand rests on his face and he grabs my hand, securing it in his. Squeezing it when I find a particularly sensitive spot. My free hand moves to his belt buckle and loosens it, pulling it off and throwing it away with ease. I popped the fly on his pants and pulled them down, gasping at the sight of him. Not only had he gone commando but he was much larger than I would have thought. I blushed as I looked up at him, smirking cockily. He flipped us over and now I was underneath him, he followed my suit kissing and nibbling down my neck, making my blood boil with need and frustration. I was like a sponge, absorbing anything he would give me. My back arched off of the bed and his hands took advantage, unclasping my bra and sliding it off my shoulders quickly. His hands cupped my breasts while his mouth latched onto a nipple and ran his tongue over it. I moan at the feeling of it. He moves to the other breast before continuing down my ribcage. My eyes flutter closed as I try to just feel and not think when I feel his motions slow.

I open my eyes to look at him, wondering why the hell he stopped at a time like this. He was frowning as he looked down at me. That wasn't a good sign and automatically I thought I did something wrong, my insecurities crept back over me. He leant back down and kissed what seemed to have gotten his attention, a scar the diameter of a bullet wound in my chest and stomach. I whimpered slightly, shying away from it. Nobody had seen my naked body since Mason, and nobody in the world had seen my scars like Damon was right now. He placed one gentle kiss to each before continuing his assault down my body. I needed him so badly, in every way I could have him.

So when his hands followed his trail of hot kisses down my stomach before ending at my underwear line I didn't object. I watched under heavy lidded eyes and felt as his erection poked at my legs as he dragged himself lower and lower. Slowly he pulled the black lace down my legs; I kicked them off before sitting up to meet him. My mouth connecting with his hungrily as he slipped a finger inside me. I drew in a sharp breath with turned into a moan. He curled his finger in me and my back arched hard, throwing my head back and pushing my breasts up. His mouth was hot against my skin and I felt the tension in my body building like it never had before. I reached between us and gently pulled at him, returning the favor. He hissed in satisfaction and I couldn't take it anymore, he slipped another finger inside me and I was panting.

"Damon" I moaned. "I need you. Now." I whined which turned into a moan as the heel of his hand dug into my clit. He gently removed his fingers from me and lifted my body; instinctively I grabbed him and positioned him at my entrance. I grasped onto his shoulders before sinking into his lap, chest to chest. Our bodies couldn't get much closer if we tried.

"Oh God" I moaned loudly as he filled me completely. I opened my eyes and he was gazing at me with love filled eyes, his hands clutched at my shoulders as we sat face to face. He kissed me gently before I pulled my hips from his slowly before crashing down to meet his again. He met me halfway and I screamed from the feeling, I was putty in his hands, which were now moving to my breasts. "Damon" I whispered and pleaded against his mouth as my finger nails raked his back. I pulled back before meeting his trust again, the tension was almost unbearable. Every nerve in my body shook with pleasure, my body ached for him, for release.

"Elena!" he yelped as he stared into my eyes, and I was done. Shattered into a million pieces done, nuclear warfare done, death by orgasm done.

"Oh my god Damon!" I yelled as he kept pounding into me. My chest still touching his as I heaved from my release. It just kept coming and coming, the waves of pleasure didn't stop. It never did, It grew more and more. I started moving faster, pushing us both higher until his hands gently squeezed my hips, he began lifting me up and smashing me back down.

"Elena" he moaned with his mouth open and panting. I yelped as I climbed higher and higher.

"Damon I'm going to…." I finish wordlessly, my mouth agape as I tuck my face in his neck and cry out.

"Come with me Elena." He says breathlessly. His feature's slack and the animalistic growl coming from me tossed me over the edge again. It was like the freaking grand canyon, it went on and on and on. And once you fall down it, you aren't coming back out

He lets out a gargled "I love you, I love you, I love you" himself before emptying himself in me. Those three words sounded so right to me. We both slump onto the mattress in a heap of sweaty and sticky limbs. I had never felt more satisfied in my entire life or more right; this is where I was supposed to be with Damon. I was so deliciously sated from definitely the best sex I've ever had.

"Jesus Mary and Joseph." I chuckle as I nuzzle into his neck, his arms still wrapped around my naked body, he was still inside me.

"It's Damon actually." He replies in my hair as he nuzzles into me affectionately. I giggle at him and pull back to meet his eyes. His eyes were full of happiness and adoration. I languish flop back onto him waiting for my strength return.

"You're a cocky son of a bitch." I say as I finally have the chance to admire his naked body without being too preoccupied with, I don't know sex? What a mighty fine sight he was, if I thought he was irresistible with his clothes on, he put himself to shame. Was that even possible? It was with Damon.

"You would know, you've seen it and had it now." He wriggles his hips under me as I giggle. He slowly pulls out of me and lies back on the bed with his back flat. I join him and pull up the soft white sheet around my chest.

"I've had better." I say nonchalantly even we both knew that wasn't the case. Damon was experienced and attentive, he knew when to apply pressure and where. He played my body like a game and I loved it.

"Take it back." He says threateningly as he rolls back on top of me pinning me down.

"No. What are you going to do about it" I say stubbornly.

"I have a few ideas." he said with an adorable smirk. And with that one look my entire body caught fire again. He pulled the white sheet over our heads and continued what we had started.

*** Bite's nails* I hope I didn't just screw up a perfectly good sex scene. Forgive me I'm still a youngin, I probably just butchered that so I'm sorry. If I did then please just use your ….imagination? Sorry if that wasn't very good… Truthfully I'm feeling kinda akward about it but it's what the people want so here she blows… ( no pun intended..)**


	29. There's got to be a morning after

**Ehhh. It's a bit short and anticlimactic but its more of a filler chapter and it gives a little more inight to both Damon's and Elena's feelings and thoughts and all that good stuff. Once again sorry it's so short.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing as always you guys are the best!**

**Enjoy! Emily **

**DAMON POV:**

I didn't sleep a second last night. I couldn't, my body was so stimulated and my brain was so busy processing everything that went on tonight. I layed on the bed partially covered by the sheets, Elena was sprawled on my chest, her hot breath against my skin reminded me that this wall all real. I snaked an arm about her waist and pulled her closer to me. She was so beautiful it made my heart hurt. I love her so much. My mom told me when I was young that everyone has a purpose in life, I think I found mine. My purpose was loving her for as long as we lived with every fiber of my body. Because that's what she deserved. I stroked the soft bare skin on her back in small circles, reveling in the feeling of it. Committing every part of her to memory, the way her hair was splayed over her shoulders and back, the curve of her hips and how her legs wrap themselves around mine.

_"You can't love me." _

The hell I can't. Watch me. I shake my head. Oh I do, and I intend to for a very long time. She's so selfless, only she would put her own happiness behind someone else's. Because she didn't want to hurt me and cause me pain she would cause herself troubles and pain. I didn't know it was to possible to love anyone any more than I already do, but I felt my heart swell even more. She sighs contently and snuggles closer to me, settling in the crook of my neck.

_"I'm out of control and it drives me crazy." _

I understood what was holding her back. I get it. The last time she gave someone else control over herself, the man tried to kill her. I'm able to look past those small things because I understand. She has trust issues and she most likely always will.

_"I'm falling I'm love with you"_

The desperation in her voice was obvious. She was falling in love with me. She wasn't IN love with me, not just yet. It would do for now. I smiled at just the thought that a fraction of the love I feel for her is returned. The last time somebody told me that they loved me was when my mother died. I had missed the feeling so much. Love felt snug, secure and comfortable. And when I look back to the time I didn't love Elena it was confusing, I was stumbling my way through life and life it's self was unfulfilling. But that one day it just clicked when I looked at her, everything made sense in that instant, everything got clearer and simpler. I had something to fall back on, to cushion the blow when the earth came crashing down. And honestly that scared the shit out of me because Elena was leaving in two months. We still hadn't had that conversation and it was eating away at me, it's not like a typical long distance relationship where you just have phone sex and see one another on weekends. An entire ocean separated the two of us; we would have to make a decision. She would have to make a decision. I couldn't leave here; I had an obligation to my family. It would be up to her whether she stays or she goes. There were two more months to resolve this between the two of us, there was no use in stressing myself out right now.

So instead, I played out the rest of the night in my head over and over again smiling to myself as I hugged her close to my side. We had gone several rounds last night, it was nothing short of incredible. Her soft skin and the smell and taste of her everywhere, her screaming my name. God she was beautiful. But it wasn't just sex, we made love. I'm surprised I didn't not pull an Elena and vomit from the thought. As much as I loathed the word and the idea of it, that's what we did. And it was incredible, she was incredible. I can only imagine the little minx she'll be when it's sex based off of pure lust and attraction. Ohh Elena. Sweet Elena. She has the mentality of a saint and an 80 year old woman in a 24 year olds body. I swear I almost tore the pillows in half when I saw the scars on her body and how she shied away whimpering when they were touched. I wish I could bring the bastard back to life just so I could kill him and feed him his heart. The sun was just beginning to come up slightly when I couldn't hold off anymore; I slowly slid into a deep and warm sleep.

/

**ELENA POV:  
**

Giving in, the phrase itself exudes weakness. When you hear it you think of peer pressure, of giving up on something. I had done all of those things, I had drank in high school against my better judgments and I had gave control over to someone else complexity. Even though this was a concept that wasn't completely foreign to me, the advantages of giving in were. And it took me until now to understand that. I had slept hard last night, nothing interrupted me. No nightmare.

My body was lethargic, I was so greatly sated and warmth radiated out to every part of my body. After all those late nights and close encounters where I had nearly combusted, here I am. I had given in to Damon Salvatore. And I wondered why I hadn't done it much earlier.

I lay perfectly still basking in the joy I feel. Because if move too fast, everything will be pulled out from underneath me. My head is tucked between his naked shoulder and his own head. I feel the warm sweet smelling breath on my cheek. A content sigh escapes my mouth and a similar sound unconsciously escapes his mouth. I open my eyes and look at the beautiful man I had just spent the night with. He's changed so much, he's still the cocky bastard that I've grown to love but he is so much more to me. He's sweet and caring; he would do anything for me. _He loved me._ I felt lost when I was with him. I didn't know which way was up and which way was down. But he was the sun, and every time I felt myself spinning without direction I clung to him for guidance.

Every kiss was like a stitch, piecing me back together. And as I pushed back his inky black hair from his face I knew, I was positive I loved him. And that I would do anything for him. Anything but tell him, I couldn't. The smallest bit of self-preservation I still had in my body told me that much.

I look back at his face and smile at him. His featured are relaxed in only a way sleep permits and god is he gorgeous. I gently ran my fingers across the stubble on his chiseled jaw that was darker than usual and prickly. I moved my hands up to the pale flawless skin of his cheek in a soft caress; he leans into my palm slightly and smiles slightly before settling his face against my chest. I smiled and rolled my eyes, typical Damon. Even when he's sleeping he's being a jackass.

I gently ran my fingers through his soft hair; he was the only person I knew who looked their best with sex hair. Pieces of it flopped on his forehead while other patches stuck up. My hands moved down the back of his neck and down his muscular back and shoulders, his body was a gift from god. I blush just thinking of what he did to me last night, several times. It still made my mind spin just from the memory of him on top of me, kissing every inch of my skin and him yelling his love for me in the throes of passion. A shiver ran down my spine at just how perfect it was with him, I don't think it's possible to get any better.

It would make sense the first time we would sleep together would be after a fight, we were both too passionate for our own good. We probably butted our heads more often than not but it kept things fresh and on my toes. I had done what he said last night, I took what I wanted without thinking of the repercussions and honestly it will probably come back to bite me in the ass but I feel pretty god damn perfect right now. Doubts of our relationship and his love still swirled in my head, but I was going to ride this out as long as it's healthy for both if us.

I shove those thoughts aside for later and just sit in my blissful state, gently rubbing his back with the tips of my fingers in small circles. The cotton sheet rode dangerously low on his back and I gently pulled it up for him. I could honestly lie like this forever, except for one nagging feeling.

I had to pee! As quietly and as slowly as possible. I roll out from underneath him and untangle our legs. My feet touch the cold hardwood floor and a shiver from the temperature change, I'm freezing. _You're naked you dumbass_, I think. My eyes travel around the floor looking for the articles of clothing we both shed last night. I blush as I bend and grab my bra, underwear and dress from various parts of the floor. I fold them neatly and place them on top of the dresser before scooping up his black button down shirt and sliding it around my shoulders. It smells of him, it even smells of me. I smirk as I walk to the bathroom. I flick the light on and groan as the bright light assaults me. The groan gets more frustrated as I look in the mirror at myself. I was a mess. I had dark smudges of makeup under my eyes from forgetting to take it off last night, I was a little too….busy. My hair was a mussed up mess of curls, it actually didn't look half bad. My cheeks were pink and my eyes were bright. Damon's shirt ended about mid-thigh and with a few buttons open on the top it left little to imagination. I looked like a sex kitten, I blushed at the thought. It made sense, Damon was playboy material. _WAS._ Past tense is a beautiful thing.

I grab a tissue and fix my smudges partially, but it won't come all the way off, I give up after a minute and finish up in the bathroom. I hear a slight shift in the bedroom as the bed creaks and the sheets slide against one another, he must be tossing a bit.

"Elena?" His voice calls out questioningly? I smile as I turn the corner to see him still lying down in bed.

"Hey." I reply as I hop onto the bed not so gracefully and roll to face him.

"Good morning beautiful. Happy Birthday." he says as he grabs the collar of his shirt and pulls me gently towards him, his fingers skimming my collarbone lightly.

"Thank You."

"Mmmhm I like this on you." He says appreciatively as his hands switch to my hair, the ends are conveniently in my cleavage. I just roll my eyes at him.

"So, any regrets?" He asks, trying to seem uninterested. His eyes give him away; I can see his vulnerability, hesitance and even a little bit of fear.

"Doubting your abilities Mr. Salvatore?" I ask him playfully. He smirks at me and waits for the answer. He looked so exposed, it was absolutely endearing. I grasp his face between my hands and smile before gently kissing his full lips.

"Absolutely no regrets." I whispered and pressed my lips to his again. His lips curl into the most beautiful smile as he closes his eyes for a moment. When they opened again they blazed with fire.

"I love you" he says as his eyes smolder into mine. I get that vomiting feeling in my stomach again and take a deep breath and turn my head away from him, my eyes bore into the boring huge ceiling. This was the part I was supposed to say something back. I couldn't bring myself to do it, I'm a coward.

"Thank you." I blurted out of habit before looking at him carefully. I prayed I didn't offend him with my slip. He just looked back at me amused with a smirk on his face.

"I don't think you heard me Elena." He says. "I said I love you."

"I know!" I groaned. He laughed at my obvious distress. This was one of those moments I was glad the man had a skewed sense of humor and could laugh things off, to anyone else that would have just been bitchy. Although verbally I was an emotional mute, every time he said those words my heart raced and my blood heated, and I felt... Full. When he told me he loved me I didn't feel like shards, I just felt like Elena.

His lips met mine in a passionate kiss that lasted until we both were out of breath and we sat back. His lips were still pulled back into that annoyingly adorable smile and his eyes burned with emotion. I had always imagined someone looking at me like this, with nothing but unconditional love, looks like I got my wish.

"I love you" he says again. I smile and cup his cheek with my hand.

"Shut up." I say sweetly before pecking him on the lips and moving to get out of bed.

"Woah whoa whoa." He says as his arms snake around my waist and pull me back into a laying position. "I'm not done with you yet." He whispers in the shell of my ear before tracing it with his tongue.

"But Bonnie's probably up... Someone could hear." I make a feeble attempt to resist.

" I think all of Italy heard you last night babe. No point in getting shy now." He shrugged. Oh my god I was mortified, I tucked my blushing face into the crook of his neck.

"Don't be self-conscious Elena. I love that you are so responsive for me." He mutters against my hair.

"Bonnie will be up soon…." I repeated.

"Hmm you're right. I guess we should multitask. Shower time" He says before sitting up and rolling off of the bed, he pulled me up bridal style and carried us into the large bathroom. His shift chafed against his bare skin and I chuckled at how ease with his body he was. He was stark naked, Old Testament style. And he didn't even care.

... ... ….. ….. …

"Good god woman. It's a miracle!" Damon shouts earning a giggle from Bonnie, Stefan and even a rare smile from Giuseppe. I rolled my eyes as I slapped down another pancake on Damon's always empty plate. Both he and Bonnie were astounded at the fact that I didn't cut off a finger, burn myself or make something completely inedible. They were delicious, credit to Damon for teaching me.

"Well thanks for the lesson."

"Right, I did teach you that recipe. Nobody else I know is that much of a culinary genius. I'm practically god." He shrugs and takes a sip of coffee.

"Giuseppe I think you might need to remodel the house a bit. Damon's ego, is taking up an awful lot of space these days." I say to Giuseppe or who just shakes his head with a smirk playing at his lips before hiding behind his newspaper. I round the counter myself and bite into the pancakes, they are delicious. Fresh lemon ricotta pancakes with freshly picked berries on the top. AKA heaven.

"Oh! I have another embarrassing Elena story!" Bonnie said excitedly. I didn't even put up a fight this time; I just stuffed my mouth with my breakfast and made mocking faces at her.

"Add it to the arsenal" Stefan encourages as he elbowed Damon's ribs with a smile. I could think of better places to put that elbow right now, unfortunately that would be incestuous and inappropriate for our current audience. Also that's really sadistic and gross. Okay so maybe I wouldn't shove it up his ass; I might just give him the cold shoulder a little bit. Okay even my thoughts were suffering today, how many hours of sleep did I get last night?

"Elena said she would cook one night so naturally I ordered Chinese beforehand. So I get home from class and open the door and the entire apartment is filled with smoke and Elena is standing over the stove with a fire extinguisher. Spraying what I think was supposed to be a rotisserie chicken." She laughed. "But the best part was…" She spoke through her laughter. "It was store bought and already cooked. All she had to do was reheat it." she erupted into a fit of giggles, the brothers followed along and I just sat sulking again.

That's twice Bonnie had thrown me to the wolves, if it happened again I would break out her ultimate embarrassing story that would put anything else to shame. I narrowed my eyes at her but she only rolled hers back at mine.

"It's alright Elena." Giuseppe says just loud enough for us to hear him. "Damon got suspended from a school for repeatedly taking his pants off and running naked through the halls." He said with perfect composure making it all the more hilarious. I was glad to see Giuseppe participating in conversation more, I guess he was serious about our talk.

A loud peel of laughter escapes from my mouth as I point at Damon and laugh. He only shrugs.

"I was even a stud back then."

"What about Stefan?" I ask Giuseppe who puts his paper down and rubs his chin thoughtfully. Stefan's laughing face turned scared at the mention of his name

"Hmmm. Stefan tried out for the school play when he was young. He must have been 13 years old, he didn't get a role but he cried so much the teacher running it made him a tree. So he just stood on stage with his arms out." Giuseppe chuckled. Stefan's face was beet red. I had to say I loved the banter more than anything, and adding Giuseppe into it just made it that much better. Bonnie was laughing her ass off; I could tell she liked them. All was right in the world in the Salvatore kitchen, I sat back triumphantly and watched Damon and Stefan interacting more with their father then they had since I've been here.

"Bonnie Caroline gave me the okay to skip out on work but we are meeting her for lunch in town at two if that's fine with you."

"Whatever you want birthday girl! I live to serve you today!" she giggles. "Ohh! And remind me to give you your present!"

Ughh. Presents. Attention. Compliments. Age. That's why I don't like birthdays. And I knew if Caroline had anything to do with today it would be all of those things tenfold.

"Oh P.S we are eating in tonight and I'm cooking so get excited." Damon said in a singsong voice. I rolled my eyes and got off the stool, walking towards the stairs, here we go.


	30. Drunken Birthdays

**Serious writers block period. I don't know what the hell was wrong with me, totally not proud of this chapter but the next one will be fun I swear. I know it's short and is below par but what are you going to do? I apologize once again. Thanks for sticking with me you all are fantastic.**

**PS- welcome new followers and favorites you guys are the best yo!**

FLASHBACK: (It's a short one

"_Happy Birthday Elena! Blow out the candles!" My mother shouted excitedly. I rolled my eyes at her, she still thought I was that girl who wore her hair in pig tails and perpetually wore denim overalls. I turned seventeen today, I didn't want Barbie's for my birthday, I wanted car keys. Both of my parents still treated me like I was the precious little preschooler that I haven't been for years. After a quick eye roll I blew out my candles just to appease them. Jeremy punched my shoulder slightly which I shot him a dirty look in turn. _

_Just further proof of my mom not acknowledging that I am practically an adult is her fighting me as I reach for the cake knife._

"_Honey its sharp." She warned as she snatched it out of my hand. What did she think I was going to do? Walk into the knife or accidently open a vein? I couldn't wait until I could start spending my birthdays out with my friend's drinking and dancing, family nights were getting old, like me. I couldn't wait until I lived on my own._

….. ….. …..

I was a stupid kid; I wanted nothing more than to be with my family right now. But John Mayer had it right; you don't know what you got till it's gone. Then again John Mayer pretty much has life right. Lunch with Caroline and Bonnie went as I expected, the two were practically best friends five minutes into lunch. Caroline was over the top with the whole birthday thing, tying balloons all over my chair and getting us free drinks from telling everyone who was capable of hearing it was my birthday. I hated every second of it, but I loved them both and it was great being surrounded by my girlfriends. Caroline had told me 'not to worry. My dress was almost finished and would be finished in time for the ball next week; honestly I hadn't given it a second thought. But it was sure as hell hard to forget considering Caroline was sneaking around and jumping down my throat if I walked too close to her. I hadn't peeked but it was hard not to see the bright red fabric she was always manipulating. The ball was in a week and honestly I had no idea what to expect. Caroline and I had made plans to get ready at her apartment so she could make me look half decent, I was lost when it came to hair and I knew the basics of makeup, but this was supposedly a prestigious event. So I was turning to Caroline's abilities once more to save the day. She couldn't be more thrilled to have me as a real life Barbie for a day.

I twirled a lock of hair in-between my fingers and secretly wished Bonnie and Caroline would take a timeout. The two of them talked incessantly, a mere human that didn't have their abilities could only keep up for so long before they became mentally exhausted. Don't get me wrong, I love them! It was nice having lunch with the two of them but I just wanted to get home and put on my sweatpants tie my hair in a bun and maybe run into Damon's bed a little too. I wanted to go home and have just a bit of time to myself.

_Home._ The word echoed in my head_._ When did the Salvatore's place become my home? _When I became Damon's _I thought. That's a petrifying thought. I feel more comfortable with him then I do with my family, with my own flesh and blood. What does that say about me? That I'm selfish? I already knew I was, the selfless thing to have done I was to fight Damon the entire way, to not give in. But all things considering, I kinda already shot that horse in the face. But still, I feel the fear tug at my happy thoughts, I couldn't ignore it anymore. Damon meant something to me, more than what was healthy for someone like me, someone undeserving of love and devotion. I was selfish, I had done horrible things in my life, I was responsible for my parents death, I drove a man to suicide, who was I to get a piece of the happy ever after that most of the world wouldn't find. I was still waiting for Damon to be pulled out from me, to disappear in a puff of smoke melodramatically.

All of my suppressed thoughts seemed to gnaw at the undeserving happiness he gave me, dissipating. It would fill in those cracks of insecurities and eat away at me like termites. I could ignore it all I want but my days here were numbered.

"Woah. You're going to need Botox by the time you are thirty with that worried face." Caroline joked as she nudged me with her elbow. I was shaken out of my reverie and I forced a smile on my face and listened to the rest of the conversation. Bonnie and Caroline eventually decided it was time to head home thankfully, and we parted ways. I shuffled through the front door tiredly and threw my bag on the floor and kicked off my shoes. I was exhausted and knowing that I actually had to go to work tomorrow just made it worse, Bonnie had agreed to stop by for lunch again tomorrow at work. She said she would explore and meet up with Caroline and I. honestly, work was fun but recently it was stressing me out. Since the meeting with the one boutique business had picked up tremendously with Caroline's designs. We were approached by multiple businesses' wanting to purchase her concepts. I was proud of Caroline and very happy for her but it also meant a lot of meetings and arguing over finances on my part, also the stack of paperwork on my desk was ridiculous.

But right now I just wanted to pull a hulk and rip my clothing off and put on the biggest comfiest shirt I could find and sleep. I was SO over this whole birthday thing. Bonnie and I pated in the hallway as she scampered down the hallway into her room I swung my door open and gasped.

"Jesus Christ you scared the shit out of me Damon." I accused and threw one of my sandals at him. He only rolled on my bed out of the way and smirked at me. I skipped over and flopped on my bed and sank in comfortably. I flipped so I was face down beside him and I finally let my body relax.

"Tiered?" he asks as his fingers rub soothing patterns on my back. I just groaned as I burrowed deeper into the blankets. He chuckles and I feel his strong arms wrap around my waist as he pulls me to him. I tuck my head in the crook of his neck and smile, he smells so good, until I met the eldest Salvatore I didn't know a smell could be so sexual. So Damon.

"So I know you didn't want anyone to get you anything and you would just throw a hissy fit so..." he says carefully, knowing I would argue with him regardless of how he finished the sentence. I groan again.

"What did you do? Spit it out so I can yell at you." I say as I roll over to face him. He smiles slightly and strokes his fingers along my cheek sweetly.

"Technically I didn't buy you anything." He shrugged.

"Damon stealing is illegal ill call the cops on you." I joke. He only rolls his eyes at me.

"Well considering we already own it, it doesn't count as a gift. We have a small villa out in Rome and I thought maybe you would want to spend the weekend out there with me." He asked quietly, with a nervous undertone in his voice.

"Just the two of us, in Rome. I think it would be fun..." He babbles on and I smile at him. I gently scratch the stubble on his jaw and snuggle closer to him.

"Of course, I would love to. Rome, wow. You Salvatore's have a tendency to spoil." I giggle. His long fingers play with my hair and run through the strands gently; I automatically relax and sink even further into my bed in pure comfort.

"Kill me if I'm cliché but I think you've earned to be doted on a bit. It's going to be fun. Just you." He kisses my cheek. "And me." He kisses the corner of my mouth. His eyes dance with amusement and I'm lost in their oceanic depths. "All alone." He smirks as I roll I top of him and press my lips to his. I couldn't stay away from him; I had spent so much time and energy denying myself what I wanted for so long, what was the point when I was his?

His warm hands cup my neck comfortingly as my hands run up his arms and over his shoulders. I tangle my fingers in the mess of hair on his head, scratching my nails slightly in his scalp. He moans appreciatively slightly and I wear a smirk if my own a sense of female pride washing over me that I could affect him so much. His teeth nipped against my bottom lip slightly and I opened my mouth framing him entrance. He pressed his body closer to mine as his tongue stroked mine gently. I gripped onto the hard muscles of his arms as he rolled us so I was beneath him. I was so lost in him, world war three could have been going on outside and I wouldn't have noticed. So when my bedroom door swung open neither of us had noticed anything until a disgusted looking Stefan made a retching sound. Damon hesitantly pulls away from me before rolling his eyes and climbing off if me.

"What little brother? Peep on someone else, you know I heard there is porn on the internet these days." He barks annoyed. I bury my face in the sheets completely and horrifically mortified at what he just saw.

"I was going to ask you when you were going to cook I'm hungry. But it's obvious you were eating Elena instead." Stefan says defensively.

God this was awkward. My entire face burned, maybe I'll die of embarrassment. Where's a murderous ex-boyfriend when you need one?

"Stefan made a joke everyone! Alert the media!" He shouted dramatically waving his hands in front of him. "You'll have to excuse him Elena, he's attracted to men. The whole idea of a man and woman together makes his little stomach churn." Damon quips.

"Am not!" Stefan shouts back making me laugh, he obviously still doesn't get it, his brother says those things purely to get a reaction from him, and he doesn't disappoint. "Can you just come cook I'm hungry." Stefan sighs exasperatedly.

"Fine only if you say you are desperate without me." Damon bates. Honestly the two of them were like children sometimes. I roll my eyes and finally have gained enough composure to get off of my bed. I smooth my hair and clothes and walk between the two of them rolling my eyes.

"I'm not going to say that douche, I'd rather starve." Stefan says lifting his chin stubbornly.

"Damon, shut your ass up. Stefan stop giving him a reaction. Both of you, grow up." I scold putting my hand on my hip and scowling at them. Stefan frowns and Damon smirks.

"Alright mom lets go, I don't want to get put in the corner." He smirks as the three of us clamber down the stairs loudly.

"So Stefan, I heard something about you. Fill me in on what's going on, I hear you hit it off with some Alexia girl." I prompt. Damon had told me how Stefan was acting a bit weird and after a few death threats, Stefan had opened up about this girl Alexia.

"Lexie." He corrects with a warm smile. "She is great. She's Kol's friend and I like her a lot." He smiles shyly.

"Get it Stef!" I encourage with a giggle. It was good to see him getting out here, if someone as screwed up as me could date, a kid as nice and caring as Stefan should always have a girl on his arm.

"So when can I meet her?" I ask as I flop on a barstool as we enter the familiar kitchen.

" AKA when can she interrogate her and then smother her with affection." Damon clarifies.

"No." I argue. "That's not true, I just want to make sure this girl is good enough for Stefan, you are a good kid and a catch. I just want to make sure you get who you deserve." I conclude: Stefan smiles widely at me. Damon makes a choking sound.

"Get my Epipen Stefan." He says with his face scrunched up. _Shit. Is he okay? _I think.

"What's wrong?" I ask worriedly. He coughs and wipes his hand across his forehead.

"I'm allergic to bullshit." He coughs out. I was legitimately worried for a few seconds, what an asshole.

"Dick." I said with narrowed eyes.

"Oh come on pouty. Give me some credit for creativity. It's just your maternal instincts are asphyxiating me." He said wrapping his hands around his throat making a choking sound. He sat in the chair next to me leaning his head on his hands blinking up at me innocently. I rolled my eyes and pushed his arm away causing his head to slam into the table top. I giggled as I watched him before I turned back to Stefan.

"But really Stefan, if you don't mind, I'd like to meet the girl. I'm sure she is wonderful." I smiled. He took Damon's seat as he stood up and started to filing through the fridge.

"Sure Elena, I'm sure you'll love her. I'm taking her to the Mikealson's party next week."

"So birthday bitch what will it be?" Damon asks as he continues to dig through the fridge.

How nice? My boyfriend calls me a bitch. And for god knows for whatever reason I was okay with it, because it was so incredibly Damon. I chuckle before thinking pretty hard. I would kill for some American food right now. AKA, anything with cheese and oil. I wasn't in the mood for a burger so naturally pizza it was. And before you say well isn't pizza Italian? It is but it's not as common and most people think, and I hadn't had it since I left the states.

"A pepperoni pizza would kill it right now." I suggested.

"Done." Damon says as he starts taking out the necessary ingredients.

"Stefan you aren't off the hook just because Elena went all 'Little House on the Prairie' on you. Tell me about this girl." Damon demanded.

"What the hell does Little House on the Prairie mean? You never read that book..." Stefan answered confused. I was confused too, I honestly had no idea where he was going with thy one and I'm usually good at picking up on what he says.

"I fell asleep watching it at grandmas when I was a kid once and I don't know but don't divert. Tell me or I'll poison your food." He threatens.

"Like I said I met her when I was with Kol. We went to a bar and she was he bartender. She already knew him so he introduced the two of us and we talked for a while she's a nice girl." Stefan smiled talking about her; I could tell he was smitten.

"So how old is she? Blonde, brunette? Give me details Stefan come on. I need to know what your children will look like!" I pleaded. He chuckled and shrugged.

"I think you've been spending a little too much time with Caroline, you're channeling her." Stefan said with a smile.

"Preach." Damon agreed. I did sound a little out of character, but I was curious! And a curious woman can be dangerous.

"She has long blonde hair, really long. Blue eyes and pale skin. She's German or polish or something." He shrugs.

"I bet she knows a good sausage when she sees one. Those poles always do." Damon smirks as he kneads dough between his hands. No matter how long I was around him, I don't think I would ever get completely used to his sense of humor.

"Will you shut your mouth?" I asked him.

"What? It worked with you! Stefan take notes." He said as he smirked at me and raised an eyebrow to challenge me.

"Yea Stefan. Take notes be a douche and insult the girl the first time you meet her. That will guarantee she falls all over you and that you'll get another date, right Damon."

"Hey this is old news. I'm a dick." He said as he spun the dough between his fingers. "I apologized I prayed for god's forgiveness, I had my confessional, I said a few Hail Mary's. I thought Elena Gilbert didn't hold grudges." He challenges. We were staring one another down; his eyes were so damn beautiful I could have done it all day.

"You know I didn't see it before but now I know you guys are perfect for one another." Stefan chuckles. "You both have the maturity of toddlers sometimes and you bicker like an elderly married couple." I giggled; it was a pretty accurate representation of our relationship.

Damon only proved the fact he is an adolescent as he throws a chunk of mozzarella at my face hitting my nose.

"This is true. Exhibit A." He says with a smirk. He takes the pizza stone and places the finished masterpiece of it, sliding it into the oven and sets a timer.

"I need alcohol if I'm going to deal with you right now." I groan as I slide my head into my hands. My exhaustion was killing me, I didn't have the energy to even come up with any good comebacks, I was off my game tonight for sure.

"I'll get the wine, Stefan get the bendy straw." Damon jokes. All I wanted to do tonight was sleep and eat, but I knew with Damon in my bed that would be very unlikely, he seemed to be the only exception.

"Get the Sippy cup too Stefan. I don't think I have the energy to lift the bottle." I groan as my head slumps to the cold granite countertop.

"Any specific wine?" Stefan asks, I honestly didn't care I just wanted an acceptable excuse to fall asleep at six at night.

"I don't care." I waved off.

"White or red?"

"White. And a lot of it please." I mumbled against my makeshift bed. Stefan quietly exits leaving only Damon and me. I had been meaning to ask for his help on my grad speech but I hadn't gotten around to it, it was one of the many things that was stressing me out on the daily. I'm pretty sure I have some kind of anxiety disorder and if I didn't before Mason, I sure as hell do now.

"So my professor wants me to speak for my department at graduation." I mumbled, my head still down.

"You mean like a poem or like angry yelling in Italian?" he asked producing a few wine glasses from the cabinet.

"Like a speech. I'm supposed to 'inspire'." I throw up some air quotes around inspire.

He snorts as he rounds the counter and sits next to me. His hands gently slide over my back and rub it gently, just like my mom used to, whenever I had nightmares. If he kept this up I would be snoring in minutes.

"There's no way you are happy about this, you're doing it to make whoever asked you happy aren't you?" he accuses. Well when you put it like that it doesn't sound so nice…

"Gah." I groan in response, that is enough of an answer. I hear him sigh exasperatedly at my side.

"What?" I ask, finally raising my head from my hands.

"I wish you were more selfish, you would be so much more fun." He complains.

"Shut it. Anyway, the reason I told you this is because I want you to help me write my speech. Because for some reason, people actually like you. God knows why." I roll my eyes at him. His blue eyes bore into me.

"You know why Elena, I'm sinfully good looking, I have the body of Adonis and I have a hilarious sense of humor. Also I'm as chiseled as a piece of Michael Angelo's."

"No but really will you help me?"' I plead.

"No."

"Why the hell not? What do I have to do? Exchange help with my speech for sexual favors?" I ask, poor timing once again as Stefan reenters the room. He pauses slightly at the doorway before shrugging and continuing towards me.

"It's about you. It's about your experience; you are more qualified than anyone I know to 'inspire'." He says seriously.

"Yea yea yea." I reply but instantly perk up when Stefan slides me a wine glass. Thank god for wine, honestly. The glass is practically brimming with the crisp cold wine and I feel like I'm in heaven, the onl;y thing better would be a comforter wrapped around my body and a pillow.

As I take a large sip of my wine, I think. _Happy fucking Birthday Elena._


	31. In the Market for Something More

*First off I'm sorry for the confusion over last chapter, I accidently re-uploaded chapter twenty instead of thirty. And thank you to **YAZMIN V** and **the-country-princess** for catching it early for me. So anyway, the reason you all got the double update was because I had to then put up the correct chapter which I then realized it had mistakes. I however being the dumbass I am, uploaded the wrong version of chapter thirty and instead of having three updates just because I don't pay attention I left it…. And I HATE mistakes. The mistake that is practically giving me an aneurism is I said John Mayer, that song is by the Counting Crows, that was bothering me big time for some reason.*

**A/N: Lo siento for the slow updates I've been busy entertaining the mutants that are my father's family. God help me. Therefore it wasn't the easiest task to escape to my room and write for an hour like usual. So this entire chapter was written on my phone discreetly when I was pretending to be listening to one of their busted ass stories. They are leaving in a few days though and all shall be back to normal after that, including my blood pressure hopefully.**

**Que chapter on Elena and her constant existential crisis….**

…**...**

"Stop the blubbering Gilbert. You've never been one to cry." Bonnie says as she hugs me tearfully. I couldn't help the tears that came to my eyes, this week with Bonnie had been awesome but she was going back to the states. It was great having a friend here with me, someone who knew me so well, B.D ( before Damon) and A.D ( after Damon).

"I'll see you soon Elena! Only in another month or two." She repeats in my ear as her thin arms clutch at mine.

"I know. Text me when you get in." I say squeezing her another time. Damon stood a few feet away from us, giving us some space waiting politely. The three of us stood in the middle of airport security as disgruntled passengers filed around us. Bonnie was headed off to the international terminal while Damon and I were headed to a gate in the opposite direction to start our weekend away. I squeezed Bonnie one more time before smiling at her once more and turning around and walking hand in hand with Damon to our gate. I looked up at him as he squeezed my hand supportively. I wiped the last tear from my face before smiling at him.

"Thanks so much for sending Bonnie here, it was honestly the best gift I could have gotten." I said appreciatively.

"Anything for my fair maiden." He jokes smirking slightly. God he was gorgeous, honestly a gift from god. He was one hot jet setter. He had a navy blue blazer on his shoulder opening to his crisp white button down shirt , which was slightly open and tucked into his black slacks, upon my request he hasn't shaved in a few days and his stubble made him look all the more sexy.

"Like what you see?" He asks, peering down at me from the side of his nose, smirking naturally.

"Love it actually." I joke.

"Ditto." He said seriously, his eyes burning with ardent emotion. Ugh, I couldn't stand t when he did his whole undying love confession. It made me feel fantastic for a split second, and then my conscience was wracked with guilt and regret. So instead if saying anything hurtful I just remained quiet, but I can tell he noticed my body stiffen at his side, and that my silence might hurt him just as much as me saying something other than those three words back.

He's either a skilled actor or he brushed it off, either way I was thankful when he smiled and turned back facing forward. We walked up to the desk at the gate and handed our passes to the overly made up gate agent.

I practically laughed as the gate agents overly made up eyes widened as she flushed, taking in his beauty. And like the typical jealous girlfriend I possessively looped his arm in mine and said "babe" far more than necessary, effectively staking my claim. I probably should have just peed on him to mark my territory. She raised a heavily drawn on eyebrow at me before the woman's eyes flickered to my arm and up to my face and back to his before sighing loudly. She flirted obviously but after finding absolutely no reaction she frowned. However we both did get upgraded to first class which was nice, I have Damon's rugged good looks to thank for that.

And thanks to Damon's face I was sitting comfortably in a large seat with a glass of champagne in hand. Damon was flipping through a newspaper as the other passengers boarded the plane. His eyebrows were scrunched up and his features hard as he focused on the paper, I was practically drooling. He looked so domestic and so tamed, like one of those old men who sat in their chair every morning drinking a cup of coffee and reading the paper.

So Instead of expanding on my stalker tendencies and continuing to watch him, I grabbed my phone and notepad from my purse. I texted a quick goodbye to Bonnie and an update to Jeremy and Jenna before tossing it back inside my bag. I slid off my flats and put on a pair of socks before pulling my knees up to my chest and staring at the blank sheet of paper. I might as well try and hammer out that stupid speech.

The empty lines stared menacingly at me and I frowned back at them, hoping words would magically appear. Rick wanted me to talk about something in my own life, so I automatically ruled out death and any other form of blood bath and after that I wasn't really left with anything.

I jotted down a few themes, but all of them weren't really anything of value that I had experience with. The incessant tapping of my pen against the metal spiral must have caught Damon's attention because when I look up he's watching me amused.

"Trying out for the blue man group?" He asked.

"No." I huff. "I'm trying to fucking inspire." I say. This was so freaking frustrating.

"What the hell am I supposed to write about? The importance of knowing how to do a keg stand in the work place? How the hell am I supposed to inspire students who don't care?" I complained throwing my hands in the air frustrated..

"Oh cool it with the drama and angst you'll figure it out eventually." He says as he places the paper on the small side table, grabbing my hand and clasping it to his.

"Calm down Elena. You're getting yourself worked up, and I love seeing you worked up, but not this way." He says suggestively. "You don't need this speech for months just relax." He said, his blue eyes wide and calming. So I tossed my notebook and pen in my bag and wrenched over the small separator and kissed him lightly on the lips. Just his presence and his touch was soothing, it calmed me. Now all I felt was comfort as he gently and sweetly kissed me. His eyes were crinkled from smiling, he just looked happy. Happy to just be sitting there with me, and that killed me. Because I couldn't give him what he needed, someone to love him. My face must have fell because he now looked at me with a concerned look.

"I can see the self-loathing from here, cut it out Elena. Stop worrying so much. Kick back order a few shots get drunk and deal with it. You're reminding me of Stefan and I don't sleep with my brother." He says seriously and picks the paper back up.

"Only you could talk about getting drunk and incest in the same sentence and I don't question it." I said as I rested my head against the window and yawned. They had just closed the door and the flight attendants were going on about safety precautions. I sank in the leather seat and drifted into sleep before we even took off.

I woke up in a different position I had fell asleep in, I was lying horizontally against something hard but still warm. My eyes flutter open, but all I can see are the black leather of the seats in front of us and the ends of a pair of long legs. I turn my head slightly and smile at what I find. My head was resting on Damon's lap, his hand curled around me and his jacket resting around my shoulders. I inhale the scent and smile at him; he's sitting upright in his seat reading a book which he had taken the cover off. He looks down on me over the top of his book. I can't see his smile, but I can tell by the creases around his eyes he is smiling down on me.

"You passed out, no shots necessary." He mumbled. I roll my eyes and sit up, taking his jacket with me and throwing it over my front.

"What are you reading? and Mr. Hyde? Because you kinda channel it." I ask as he carefully slides a bookmark into the old, tattered book and stores it carefully. Taking way too much care in putting away a ripped up book.

"Call of the Wild. It's a first edition, someone in my family's back in the day." He says.

"Never pegged you for much of a reader."

"What can I say, bestiality is my thing." He whispers and raises his eyebrows suggestively.

I roll my eyes and slowly lift up the shutter covering the window. I groan as the light pours through the window. I could see the green coastline blending seamlessly with the farmland, and then the sharp contrast of the deep blue water. We were descending and would be on the ground in no time; I feel excitement bubble up inside of me as I sit like a child with my nose practically on the glass. No more than twenty minutes later we are on the ground. I sat swinging my feet while I sat on a bench in the warm summer sun while Damon spoke to the rental car people. This weekend was going to be fantastic, just me and Damon. I promised myself I would enjoy every second of it. I was elated just being here with him, the city at our feet.

Apparently he returned the sentiment because he came walking over toting his small luggage and spinning car keys around his finger with a ridiculously hot smile on his face. I was never much for PDA, until I met Damon. So when he surprises me by pulling me by my waist to him and passionately kissing me, I hesitate for a second. But as always it's easy to get lost in the moment with him and I had to remind myself that I was never "that PDA girl", even with Damon. So I place my hands on his chest and gently pulls back, he whines softly and pouts at me cutely.

"Let's go, I got the car and I want to see you in the car topless." He says mischievously, him and his double entandra's.

"That better mean we have convertible." I grumble as I grab my small bag and pull it behind me, my other hand laced with Damon's. And sure enough, Damon definitely took care of us. A beautiful convertible Camaro sat in our spot, I was dying to try it.

Instead of living out all 6 seasons in gossip girl, I decided it would be best for us all if I tied my hair up. I slid my sunglasses off and shed a layer, leaving me in a white lace tank and shorts. There's something about Italy that is just so beautiful. Obviously there is the natural beauty, the sparkling water, the vast farm lands and the trees. But as we made our way into the heart of Rome I was distracted by a less obvious beauty, an understated one. The small apartments on the sides of the streets, the paint is old and the window shutters are probably the same one's since their construction, but that's part of the charm.

The buildings were lived in, traditions were made in them, generations grew up in them, and they were lived in. Families were together in them. Those were the places you told your grandchildren about, or learned how to cook from your grandmother and where you spent your childhood. These roads were rich with family history and stories in each and every one. Maybe that's why it was so amazing to me; I was describing everything I don't have. And as we maneuvered through the narrow roads filled with local vendors that are what I saw the most. Places with history, a history of love and family. The only reason I'm aware that the car comes to a stops is because suddenly I can hear again.

"Well here we are. Home away from home away from... Well. You get it." He slid gracefully out of the car, I followed suit behind him. Knowing the Salvatore's taste for luxury I was surprised as Damon led me into one of the beaten up, loved apartments lining the street that I had been admiring. We climbed the old narrow wooden stairs on the side of the building until we reached the second story.

"I think you'll like this place, it's very... Homey." He said as he swung open the oak door. The place was gorgeous, completely open and magnificent. The place you could imagine sitting with cousins and uncles and grandparents for Sunday dinners and telling stories. Every window was open, letting the sun pour in, the breeze funneled in keeping the place cool and bright. It was like nothing I had ever seen before. I ran over to the window and looked down on the street, we were only a few miles away from the cities heart and as I looked out of the window, I could just barely make out the coast.

I smiled contently as I turned around, wanting Damon to share the experience and beauty with me. He was sitting in a chair behind me with a small sweet smile on his face as he watched me. The rest of the apartment was decorated simplistically, with the same rustic leather and warm palette I was used to at the Salvatore house.

"I love it!" I giggle as I run over to him. I fold myself on his lap like a Yorkie or something and curl into his side. His arms automatically wrap around me and hold me close to him. He gently runs his fingers in my knotty hair and releases the hair tie. He smooth's down my hair and sweeps it over my shoulder. His lips gently press down on my neck. My body shivers when he kisses that spot behind my ear, he knew my body better than I did. His lips press feather soft kisses to any area of exposed skin on my face and neck.

"You're being unbelievably sweet." I whisper, my eyes closed in bliss and a smile on my face.

"Mmmm. So are you." He mumbles against my skin before licking the side of my face playfully.

"Ewww." I complain and scramble against him; I pull the fabric of his shirt to my face and get rid of his slobber before relaxing into him again.

What did I do to deserve this happiness? All I've caused is misery, it's like the grim reaper follows my every footstep.

"What do you see in me?" I ask, thinking it, not meaning to say it. He shifts a little so he looks down on me; I feel his eyes probing me so I keep my eyes trained to the ceiling as I study the texture.

"I see a beautiful woman." His fingers stroke my cheek lightly. "Who could be filling up a water tower with tears from all the things she's suffered through but doesn't. I see a woman who is too selfless for her own good, she thinks too much of everyone around her and exorbitantly less of herself. I see a brave woman, independent, but lonely. I see flying monkeys and the wizard of Oz too." He said. He really knew how to ruin a moment. I hung on his every word, he knew me so well.

"What about me?" He asks and my eyes flick to his, his ocean eyes vulnerable and soft. A muffled ring came from the counter across the room, I sighed in relief. Saved by the bell.

"I'll tell you another time. You should probably get that." I say sliding off if his lap so he could grab the phone. He looked at it with a frown before bringing it to his ear.

"What?" He snaps.

"Fine. She's going to be pissed. Sure. Okay. Bye." He slides the phone in his pocket and combs his fingers through his hair.

"What about me and why am I going to be mad?" I ask, grabbing a bottle of wine that is in the fridge and two glasses.

"How do you know it's about you?" He asks with a smirk. I place my hand on my hip and stare at him.

"Well I'm the only woman dumb enough in your life to put up with your shit. So there's that.." I reply.

"How do you know it's not one of my mistresses?" he asks. But I guess the look on my face convinced him he should just tell me.

"Okay okay. My dad got you something for your birthday. I told him not to but he did. Bastard doesn't listen to anyone. I didn't even get you anything and he did." He says through gritted teeth. I couldn't care what I did and didn't receive, the fact he was upset about this at all is ludicrous.

"I don't care Damon. Can we leave our Dr. Phil worthy problems out of the equation for just two days? Now I don't know about you but it's been a long day of travel and I'd like to have a glass of wine and see if two people fit under the shower head." I say innocently. His gaze darkens automatically and his lips pull into a devilish smirk that practically take's my pants off for me.

He saunters over to a drawer and produces a bottle opener; he pops the cork with flourish and pours two equal glasses of wine. His fingers move to his button up shirt where he releases the top few before stalking towards me with a smirk holding both glasses. I take one and take a sip, it was light and refreshing. We sat back down on the long couch, AKA I was lying practically on top of him with my glass clutched in my hand. He was just so warm and comfortable; I could sit like this forever, next to Damon. Forever. What a weird word, definitely a loaded one. Forever was a commitment. But I wasn't that forever girl anymore, I used to be, I remember getting told all the time I'm the girl you introduce to the old folks, the one you put a ring on, maybe I was once and maybe not.

But I felt like I could handle forever for a second, that being with him forever was a tangible thing. But as quickly as the feeling came it went and it was replaced with mass confusion. I took another much needed gulp of wine and set the glass down, cuddling closer to Damon's hard contours.

"The fridge isn't stocked, so if you are feeling up to it we should probably run to the market. Or I can go, it's up to you." He said.

"Sure why not let's go explore." I say as I hop up and grasp his hand, pulling him up with me.

"Alright Suzy Homemaker lets go." He says as he opens the door for me, I slide past him and jogs down the ancient steps. My flats click noisily on the old road as we quickly run across it and up onto a sidewalk. After about a ten minute walk we approach about a dozen solitary tents, baskets are piled high with produce that looks like it was freshly picked.

"Buonasera." I say with a smile at one of the old men sitting in a lawn chair.

"Buona sera bella" (good evening beautiful). He smiles a wrinkly smile as he stands from his seat. My fingers run over the bright vegetable's.

"Che cosa posso aiutarti?" (What can I help you with?) he asks looking between Damon and I.

"Damon?" I ask looking at him.

" Basta produrre guarderemo in giro, grazie."(Just produce we will look around, thanks) He says beautifully, there was nothing sexier than a man who could speak Italian. His hands wrapped around a bright red tomato and he brought it up to his nose and inhaled.

"Mmmm. Smell this." He said as he tucks a piece of hair behind my ear and brings the fruit to my nose. It smells amazing; I'm surprised by how aromatic it is.

"Wow." I say as he picks up a small basket and gingerly places a few inside, all I could think about was how good that would be on a grilled cheese right now. His hands wandered over to some eggplants, I added a large onion and a few shallots.

"sposi?"(newlyweds?) the old man asked with a smile, gesturing between the two of us. My eyes flicked to Damon who smiled down on me.

"sissignore." ( yes sir.) he said without hesitation, before I could object or clarify otherwise. The old man smiled even wider as he looked between us.

"Evviva gli sposi" (hurray for the newlyweds.- and Italian wedding tradition) "Che una bella donna. I vostri bambini saranno uno spettacolo." (What a beautiful woman. Your children will be a sight.)

If I wasn't blushing before, I was now, hard. This man had assumed we were married and already was talking about kids, even though none of that was real.

"Grazie. Oh, lei che è bello, ma ha una lingua tagliente."( Thanks. Oh she sure is beautiful, but her tongue is sharp). He chuckles; the man shakes his head in understanding. Damon pays the man for the few things and I wave goodbye.

"bambini buoni fortuna!" (good luck children.) he calls out as we turn our backs and continue walking down the street.

"Where to now ?" he asks with a smirk on his face, his eyes glowing. I scoff slightly and can't help but to roll my eyes.

"Ohh please, you were too cheap to get me a ring. I wouldn't marry your ass." I say playing along.

"I can be very persuasive." He says tugging on my hand so we both stop walking. The sun shines on his eyes making them look like ice. His hands rest on each side of my neck as he pulls himself towards me. His lips meet mine softly, like we have all the time in the world in the middle of the sidewalk. His thumbs stroke my cheek and my hands rise and grasp his. Warmth radiated through my body, my blood boils like it's over a flame, and everything feels so perfect. And he pulls away, too soon, but soon enough that it preserved the dignity of the kiss. He was unbelievably sweet and I was overwhelmed by how much I was in love with him. He was the only thing that could hurt me, because I had given myself over to him completely, whether he realized it or not. In his hands he held the thousands of shards of Elena Gilbert.


	32. I Want You to Take Over Control

**HEY GUYS! I LITERALLY WENT AND MADE A GRILLED CHEESE AFTER THIS CHAPTER. I'M SO GLAD EVERYONE IS LIKING HOW THINGS ARE PROGRESSING IN THE STORY. WELCOME NEW FOLLOWERS AND READERS! AND AS ALWAYS THANKS FOR REVIEWING AND READING!**

**REVIEWS ARE REALLY REWARDING! IF YOU FEEL LIKE DROPPING ME ONE, GO RIGHT AHEAD! ENJOY THE CAPTER EVERYONE.**

_**Chapter 32:**_

It turned out my dreams of grilled cheese were closer than expected as Damon and I walked out of the small cheese store on the corner. It was about time I could return the favor and cook dinner for him even if it was just grilled cheese. The sun was setting over the skyline and it was completely gorgeous. Damon carried both bags in his hand, refusing my help. He was unusually quiet and he looked deep in thought when I looked up at him.

"What are you thinking so hard about, you're scaring me." I chuckle at him.

"World Peace, War, why donuts have holes in the middle. There's just so much to ponder." I give him a disbelieving look.

"Okay fine. Nothing really just what that oldster was saying. I mean I knew already that you are completely gorgeous and would have fucking adorable babies, but I never thought about us married. Actually that's a lie." He says smiling.

I swallowed hard. Oh god. Marriage, the ultimate commitment. I had trouble deciding what I wanted for dinner how was I supposed to decide to spend the rest of my life with someone. That is a hypothetical case anyway, nobody would want me and I wouldn't want to expose anyone to who I really was.

"I can't imagine anything being bad looking if it had half of your genetic material." I joke, elbowing him in the ribs, trying to keep things light. All this talk of what could or would happen was making me nervous. I shook off the encroaching feeling of terror and fake smiled my way through it, genuinely uncomfortable.

"Elena. There's something I want to ask you. I have for a while." He says confidently. I stop walking and freeze. He looks up at me as he drops to a knee in the middle of the sidewalk. I felt the chunks rise up in my throat; I was going to vomit on him. He couldn't do this, he couldn't dear god please don't let him this would ruin everything. His free hand grabs mine as he looks at me from the sidewalk.

"Elena" he whispers. "Will you hold these while I tie my shoes?" He asks handing me the grocery bags. A nervous giggle escapes my lips as I cover my eyes with one of my hands. My entire body relaxes as I hear his howling laughter.

"You're an asshole!" I shout at him as I drop my hand from my eyes. God was I relieved. He's completely cracking up as people walk around us, giving us both dirty looks. He wipes a tear from his eye as he continues to crack up.

"How long have you wanted to ask me that?" I ask as he finally stands up.

"A long time, meaning a few blocks." He chuckled, taking the bags back from my hand and pulling my free one into his.

"No No. You don't get to hold my hand after that. I almost shit my pants Damon. That's not okay, you do that again and I'll slash the tires on your car's got it?" I ask sternly, jerking my hand away from his.

"Whatever, it was worth it. Your face was priceless." He chuckled again.

"You're lucky we are in public, If we weren't I would have kicked your ass." I say as I glare at him.

Minutes' walk we round the corner and the small apartment comes back into view. I bound up the stairs with my renewed good mood, I couldn't wait to get out of these travel clothes and just take a shower already. He places the grocery bags on the countertop and I get to work looking through the cabinets for things I would need. I found the griddle and put chunk of butter on it and clicked on the gas stove top. I put Damon to work cutting and washing the tomatoes and cutting the block of cheese because I would probably end up losing a finger if I did it. I slapped the two sandwiches on the griddle side by side and put a tea kettle on the top of them to weigh it down. We patiently waited until they were brown on both sides before I slid them on two plates and I placed the pan in the sink. And that's how we spent the evening, eating grilled cheese and talking. I knew so much about Damon, the big things, the things you wouldn't want to tell anyone but I didn't know the seemingly insignificant details that most normal couples know. So we went back and forth with stupid little questions.

"Okay, favorite movie." I prompt as I cross my legs on the carpet. He taps his finger to his lips thoughtfully.

"Hmm. Either The Shinning or the God Father. Or Cast Away. But the original James Bond is good too, I don't know. What about you? If you say Twilight I'm obligated to kill you." He shrugs.

"No not Twilight. My favorite used to be Silence of the Lambs, but the whole murder thing kinda creeps me out now so I'm going to go with My Cousin Vinny. Classic American bullshit." I explain, I practically knew every line Jeremy and I had watched it so many times. I take a bite of my grilled cheese and place it back on the plate.

"Okay, I can see that. First sexual experience." He said with a sly smirk. I'm sure he was just dying to tell me how young he was when he lost his virginity.

"Let me guess as soon as your balls dropped and sex with your nanny?" I asked him, an incredulous look on my face.

"I asked you." He said cocking his head at me. "I'll answer after you do." I huff as I take another bite and chew before answering.

"Logan Fell, I was a sophomore in high school. So what is that like sixteen? I was drunk at a party and I gave him a hand job." I said as I blushed furiously.

"Okay…and sex?"

"First year of college, Mason." I said emotionless.

"Well I got you beat. Fifteen, lost my virginity to Katherine Pierce, little blonde haired cheerleader, she wasn't very good though. She was a senior and I was a freshman. I was even a stud back then." He smirks proudly as he takes a sloppy chunk of out of his sandwich. I felt an unjustified rush of jealously bubble up inside me; this was a girl a long time ago. That was in the past, I was his present.

"Okay. Guilty pleasure." He says.

"Writing."

"That's not guilty. Like mine are Bourbon and sex. It has to be something that you love that isn't always right for you." I explained.

"Fine. You." I say with a straight face, it made sense in a twisted way I guess, because it's true I'm not right for him in anyway. I wasn't right for him in anyway but he made me so god damn happy it killed me.

His eyes lit up and a toothy smile broke out on his face. "Awww come here you big sap." He said as he opened his arms. I scooted beside him and rested against his side as his arms wrapped around me.

"I got one. A job you would want other than managing your olives or whatever the hell you do." I say against his shirt.

"A chef. I would love to go to culinary school, get my degree, and open a restaurant."

"Why don't you? If it's something you love, go out and get it." I say hypocritically, the irony was not lost on me.

"I don't know. Maybe it's something I'll do eventually when it's time for me to actually settle down. I'm content with my life for the most part right now. Although this would be much better if we were naked." His hand rubbed my shoulders soothingly.

"That can be arranged. Which way is the bedroom?" I ask saucily.

"Allow me to escort you madam?" he said his velvet voice husky. I hop to my feet and follow him down the narrow hallway to an already opened door. It's a simple room, the bed is huge. Not as big as Damon's but pretty close. The room was neat and clean and just perfect. He leaves for a minute and returns with our bags. I unzip mine and grab a few bathroom necessities and place them in the in suite bathroom. I rummage through my luggage grabbing only a few things, probably the only nice nightgown I own and matching lingerie. I put that on the countertop. I probably won't even end up using it. With that in mind I walked back into the bedroom. Damon sat in a leather chair in the corner with his shirt unbuttoned, his pale skin showing through the space of the shirt. He sat casually with his feet up looking like Adonis.

I wanted him. His eyes met mine and he watched me as I moved. Instead of going to him and climbing on him like I wanted to, I pulled the hem of my tank top over my head and tossed it. My shorts followed them. He watched me enthralled. I'm telling you there is no better feeling in the world then taking your bra off after a long day. My clothes hit the floor with a soft thud and my bra and underwear followed suit in the same fashion. I snuck back a look over my shoulder as Damon stood with his lips slightly parted obviously ogling me. I hadn't felt this confident in a really long time, probably since high school. It was a hard thing to do, shocking Damon Salvatore. So when I did, I felt a small surge of pride that I could still be as unpredictable as he was.

I stepped into the bathroom and drew back the frosted shower curtain and stepped in the shower testing the water. I turned it up almost to the hottest it went before stepping into it. The bathroom had steamed up and I automatically felt the tension in my body dissipate under the hot stream. All that was left was excitement and burning lust and need. No more than a minute later I heard the soft padding of footsteps on the tile and the metal of the curtain sliding against the pole as he drew back the curtain and stepped in behind me. I closed my eyes in anticipation of his touch as my fingers moved methodically through my hair, letting it fall like a thick curtain on my back. His hands grip my hips gently before sliding down on the front of my thighs. He steps closer to me and I do my best to focus only on his touch and not the scalding water that only seems to get hotter with his touch. My body hums in anticipation as I step backwards and my back comes in contact with his front. My slick back slides easily along his chest as his hands move back around my hips. I sling an arm behind my head and hook it around his neck and pull him to me, angling my face so I can kiss him. Our mouths collide in a hot and passionate kisses, feverent and primal like nothing else. My hand tugs at the hair on the nape of his neck as his hands caress my backside, gently cupping it before moving up my sides and around my stomach, resting on its flat planes.

I tear my mouth away from his and spin, no longer able to take the space between us. I push him back slightly and drive him against the wall as I feverishly try to get us as close as possible. My hands latch around his neck, while his cup my face as our tongues collide, fighting for dominance. It's hot and my body is reacting to it, I would be slightly embarrassed except I felt the evidence of Damon's arousal prodding at my stomach.

I groan against his mouth and bite down on his bottom lip. He smirks as I momentarily pull back to start my journey down his body with my lips. I nip slightly at his neck before soothing it with a kiss and doing it all over again. My hands run down his chest and trace the lines of his chest and abs, I marvel at how soft and unblemished his skin is, not even a hair in sight. My lips meet his again aggressively while one of my hands snakes down his body; I grasp him firmly and pump up. He lets out a hiss of satisfaction and I look up at him devilishly before doing something I never had done before, with anyone else the idea repulsed me, but with Damon I wanted to. I was getting revolted by my own thoughts, so I stopped thinking and just did. I dropped to my knees and looked up at him, his chest slightly heaving as he watched me under heavy lids. My eyes never left his as I slowly grabbed his erection and licked the tip. His eyes fell closed as he groaned quietly. I smiled as my hands encircled him and pumped upwards as I licked his head. After doing that a few times I decided the hell with it and opened my mouth and closed it around him.

"Jesus Elena!" he half moaned half yelped as his hands gripped my hair, gently pushing it to one side of my head. I slowly released him from my mouth before going back and doing the same thing again, encouraged by his groans of approval. I take him in deeper in my mouth and try that thing Caroline had told me about. When I feel him at the back of my throat I swallow around him. I guess it worked because I hear him scream.

"Fuck. Yes Elena." He shouts, I notice how his toes curl up when I do that. So experimentally I do it again.

"Elena I'm not going to last." He says opening his eyes for the first time. "You need to stop right now or I'm going to..." his sentence is cut off by a moan as I swallow around him again. I switch to my hand as I take a few breaths.

"You've never had an issue with getting right back up." I wink and take him into my mouth again, pumping back and forth faster and faster until I hear a final borderline scream of "Elena!", and he empties into my mouth.

I reflexively swallow and shrug my shoulders, that wasn't so hard, I giggle at my own stupid pun and the sated look on his face. Damon's body slid down against the wall of the shower as he came to a sitting position. I straddled his legs slightly and my heated center rested on his thigh. I resisted the urge to grind down on his leg like I was a dog humping a stuffed animal so instead I watched him, satisfied that my body did this to him. He sat with his eyes closed and his chest heaving, his features slack. Even his head lolled to the side a bit.

"I think I'm dead." He whispered sounding quite tiered. No you can't be dead yet, I'm too sexually frustrated right now. I giggled a bit as he opens one eye. My giggle turns into a laugh as I feel something poke at my hip.

"Aaaand he's back everybody." I giggle, that didn't take long at all.

"I don't think I'm ready just yet. That was probably the most intense mangasm I've ever head. I mean had." He smirks, opening both eyes just for the purpose of winking at me.

"Ha ha ha." I deadpan.

"But I do believe I owe you an orgasm Ms. Gilbert and a good one for your troubles." He says as he slides his legs up pushing me down and closer to his erection which presses against my clit conveniently. I moan slightly at the contact. His slick hands roam my chest as he kneads my breasts and massages them, paying special attention to my nipples. I shamelessly grind myself against his leg looking for that pressure that I wanted so badly.

"Mmmm. Look at you Elena. So beautiful." He says appreciatively. "Would you like it if I helped you out a bit kitten?" he asks as a hand slides down and dances over my clit. I moan loudly in response.

"What was that baby? Say it. Tell me what you want." His voice is dripping sex, I didn't even know a voice could turn me on as much as his did.

"I want you everywhere. Inside me, outside me I don't care. I just need you Damon. Please." I mumbled breathlessly.

"That can be arranged." He says sliding his legs up even further and sitting up so I am sitting in the valley between his chest and legs. His fingers push down on my most sensitive part and I gasp as a finger slides into me. I've had enough of the build-up, I just want to come. His finger slides in and out of my slick heat so easily, and he quickly adds another. The palm of his hand digs into my clit and adds glorious pressure on it.

"Damon!" I call out.

"Oh baby you're so wet for me aren't you?" he growls.

"You. Only for you." I whisper breathlessly as I feel my body tense and tense some more. And the little composure I had over myself snapped and I shamelessly came down on his hand again and again, riding it like some kind of harlot.

"I'm going to…." I whisper.

"Do it. Come Elena." He whispers in my ear and bites on my shell and as he does that my entire body explodes, I convulse around him and collapse on his chest. I see stars as his hands stay working on me, letting me ride out every last glorious wave of my Damon induced orgasm; this was the best one yet. Once I could see straight and the stars cleared from my vision Damon slid his finger out of me and rubbed my back. My fingers were getting pruny from the water but I couldn't have cared less, I could just lay here for the rest of the night.

"Now what?" I murmur against the smooth pale skin of his chest.

"I want to throw you in my bed and never let you leave." He whispers intensely as his eyes burn into mine. A small gasp escapes my lips, and that's all it took. One small thing to say before my body was in flames again.

"So do it." I challenge. His legs slide down and I back off of him and wobbly stand up, trying to avoid my still sated and borderline unusable limbs from buckling like a new born baby deer.

"Oh I will, but you haven't washed your hair yet." He says joining me standing. His hand reaches for the shampoo bottle.

"I don't care I want you." I whine, he only smiles and squirts some shampoo into his hand before telling me to close my eyes. The water was starting to run cold but he still took his time. His finger massaged my scalp gently, rubbing small soothing circles on it. Occasionally, scratching a fingernail against it pleasingly.

He removed the shower head and methodically rinsed the suds from my hair. Before smoothing in what I was guessing is conditioner. There's something really relaxing about someone playing with your hair and knowing that it was Damon made it that much better.

He combed his fingers through my hair before rinsing it again.

"All done." He says with a kiss to my shoulder. I turn around with the intention of returning the favor. I squeeze a bit of his shampoo in my hands and go on my tippy toes and run my fingers through his matted hair that's lying completely flat on his face. I push or back and scratch my nails against his scalp. He makes a quiet purring sound as his eyes close which makes me giggle. He opens one eye and studies me with a smile.

"You're unbelievably beautiful when you smile like that Elena." He says ardently. I don't think I would ever get used to him telling me I was beautiful, every time he said it I felt like I was starting to believe him a little bit more. I wasn't as insecure these days. And as for my night terrors, they have shifted focus, nearly all them are focused around me loosing Damon. I have yet to decide which version is more frightening, what has already really happened to me or what could happen to him, definitely what could happen to him.

I gathered all of his hair into a Mohawk in the middle of his head and chuckled. His eyes are warm and loving, his swollen lips in a content smile. He just looked so happy. I detach the shower head and hold it over him rinsing the suds gently.

"There" I said smiling.

"That felt nice." He said with a shy smile.

He shakes his head like a dog whipping water droplets everywhere. I giggle at him before pecking him on the lips sweetly.

"Now can we go to bed?"

"Ask and you shall receive." I roll my eyes at him, his humor knows no boundaries.

"Did you just quote Jesus when talking about a sin?" I ask him. He only shrugs and turns the nob on the shower off. The water suddenly stops falling. He pulls back the shower curtain and wraps a large fluffy towel around my shoulders before tying one loosely around his own waist. God he looked sexy in nothing but a towel. I quickly dried myself off and squeeze the water from my hair into the tub. It was still saturated but at this point I didn't care.

"Okay I'm done waiting." I say eagerly as I take his mouth and dominate him. His soft lips envelop mine. My arms twine around his neck and I pull on his slick hair. His hands grip the sides of my face as I step back, allowing him to guide me softly backwards. My backside hits the counter and without his mouth leaving mine and he lifts me slightly until I'm sitting on the counter. My towel falls from under my arms as I clutch him closer to me, not close enough, never close enough. My chest pressed against his as his hands roamed my body and grabbed onto my back side. His hands unwrap his towel and he discards it, it lands in the open toilet with a loud splash. We both pause and laugh loudly.

That's one of the things that are unusual about Damon and me. Even in the throes of passion, we we're still so much ourselves, joking and laughing all the way.

"Hook your legs around my back." He whispers, his eyes burning into mine. I do as I'm told and gasp as my heated core comes in contact with him. I wrap my arms around his neck once more and he lifts me, supporting my bottom as he kicks the door open and places me in the bed. I'm sprawled out on the soft sheets. My wet hair sticking to my body, my cheeks pink from exertion and my chest heaving in anticipation of him. He slowly climbs over me until he hovers over my face, his weight bearing on his hands on either side if my head.

"I want you to take control." He smirks his eyes challenging me. He wants me to dominate him? It excited me, I'll how him control. I smirk as I grab his shoulders and push him to the side a little roughly so he feel on the opposite side of the bed. His eyes wide as I crawled over him straddling.

"Look at you. So confident. So sexy." He says as his hands run over my breasts and my stomach. I bend down and suck on his neck marking him slightly. He groans and starts moving under me slightly trying to create friction between the two of us. I could tell him giving over control was a rare thing, I was going to make this last and worship his body for as long as I could tonight.

"Ah ah ah. No. I have control remember." I whispered as I lifted my hips off his.

He groans and I slowly return onto him, resting on his erection just slightly. I grind my hips in a small circle on him. He moans appreciatively and my lips pull into a triumphant smile.

"You're a goddess" he chocks out as I find my hips again. I toss my head back and pure at the pressure. One of my hands steadies myself against his chest while the other reaches between us and I grasp him in my hand. He groans but his eyes watch wide and intently as I lift my hips and position him at my entrance. I sink onto him and god does it feel good.

"Yes Elena yes." He moans. I watched his face contort and as he came undone under me, it made me want him even more. My hips swivel and he hits that spot that makes me shake. I rise on him before slamming back down. My body bounces on his hard, nothing like the love making we had been doing for the past few nights, this was purely lust filled unadulterated sex. And Jesus Christ was it good. I push my hands on his thighs before I slam back down, throwing my head back feeling every inch of him. The room is filled with the sound of our moans and groans. And that's how we spend the night, getting lost in one another over and over and over again.


	33. Popping the Question

**The dress described in this chapter is the dress Nina Dobrev wore to the emmy's, you can google it ' nina dobrev red emmy dress' **

**Chapter's will be coming more quickly now because the story is coming near it's end( wahh), I've actually prewrote a bunch of chapters while I was working on current chapters so updates will be coming pretty quickly, thanks for sticking with me, this puppy is a long chapter but it's fun! I've decided to cut the ball into 2 parts because I got a little OVER excited and creative…. Unrelated this reminded me of Gatsby I FREAKING LOVE GATSBY UHHH!**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!**

"And then he took me to bed and well you know what happened then... I can go into more detail it you want. I swear Klaus is like a wild animal….you know what? No! I never hear about your sex life. And I know you and Damon have sex! Stefan said you guys are at it like jack rabbits all the time!" Caroline says pointedly as she wraps my hair around the curling iron. To tell you the truth I hadn't been listening too much of what Caroline had been telling me. My mind was elsewhere, I couldn't stop thinking about last weekend, Damon had shown me the best Rome had to offer, we looked at the history and the art and just enjoyed one another's company. But those three days went pretty fast, and I had worked like a dog all week. But it's Friday now, meaning tonight is the ball. Anddd that's why I'm currently sitting in a chair in Caroline's bedroom being primped and questioned.

"Alright I'll tell you something if you stop! Please!" I say, waving the proverbial white flag, giving into Caroline, something I'm sure she was used to by now. She squeals happily and drops the piece of hair.

"Give me something good honey, I've been waiting a while."

"Well what do you want to know? You get one question." My modesty getting the better of me, I tiptoed around the question.

"Is he good?" She asks curiously. I scoff. Good didn't even cover it.

"That was a bad question let me have a new one. Of course he's good, you aren't that good looking and not good in bed. Okay... How about Damon Jr.?" She asks raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow. I flush scarlet and shake my head in disbelief, the girl had no filter.

"There isn't much Jr. About him." I say quietly as I grab my blush and a brush and sweep it on my cheek which is quite hard without a mirror I might add. Caroline had insured I didn't look in the mirror until I was the 'finished product'.

"I knew it!" She exclaimed.

"Alright I'm done, that's enough about my sex life. Now show me this dress that I am sure is perfect." I say, intentionally turning the tide of the conversation. She squeals slightly and claps her hands before disappearing into her closet. Her room was gorgeous, everything was white with Tiffany blue furnishings, the apartment was modestly sized the only thing out of proportion was her enormous closet. I swear her closet looked like a styling room at a fashion magazine. It was outrageous.

She practically runs out of the closet holding a long garment bag and places it on her bed.

"Are you ready Elena gilbert? I'm about to blow your mind." she asks dramatically.

"Yes Caroline Forbes, blow my mind." I match her tone. She giggles as she unzips the bag, her back shielding it from my view.

"Ta Da! Happy belated Birthday Elena!" She squeals, her blue eyes wide with excitement. My gaze travels down to the masterpiece she is holding. A long dress of crimson fabric hangs even with an air of luxury.

"Oh my god..." I whisper as I approach it. It's completely strapless and looks like it would give me a little bit of cleavage. It cinches slightly at the waist before it goes back out to shape where my hips would be. It would showcase the few curves I had and it had a slight train. In short, it was absolutely stunning.

"Holy shit Caroline its perfect. You are a genius!" I said with wide eyes.

"Yay!" She squealed happily as she bounced up and down. "Now take off your clothes and ill help you get into it." She Instructed.

"I'm sure I can manage Care." I chuckle.

"Oh don't be such a prude. You're going to need help getting into this thing I'm telling you." She warns. I sigh before I tug off my sweatpants and pull off my hoodie leaving me stark in my underwear, I nervously cover my scars with my arms that I leave folded over my stomach and chest area.

"Okay missy. Hands up and suck in, just until everything is in the right spot." She says a bit nervously, I trusted her abilities I wasn't worried at all.

I threw my hands up and allowed myself to get swallowed by the red fabric. Her hands gently tug it over my head, preserving my hair pretty well. Her hands then move under the dress from the bottom as she squats and adjusts the lining and pulls it down my body. It clings to my hips and chest tightly and lets loose a bit in the train. Caroline fluffs out the bottom a bit before stepping back. Her hands clasped and a goofy grin on her face.

"Oh my god you look amazing! Oh my god!" She shouts. She runs away again bringing back a full length mirror. She spins it around and in shocked by the woman staring back at me. Her doe eyes are lined with black kohl, and slightly smoked out. A thick fringe of lashes line each eye and make my eyes look even wider. My cheeks are pink and dewy and my lips look soft and natural. My brown hair is curled slightly and twirls away from my face in a loose curl and is swept to one side artfully. And my body, the dress clung to it like a glove. It pushed my breasts up just slightly and hugged to my every curve and created some I didn't even have. I looked fantastic.

"Jesus Caroline, you are a miracle worker." I said with wide eyes as I turned to her. Her face expectant.

"Please, when you already have a nice foundation, you don't have to add too much interior decoration." I rolled my eyes and looked back in the mirror.

"Well time for my dress." She claps as she grabs a dress from the back of her door. It has blue tulle flowing from an elegant A-line shape. It has wide straps before it gathers in a jewel covered center, it was completely beautiful and she would look great in it. Caroline had already done her hair and makeup, she was the only person in we who could wear a messy updo and still make it look formal and beautiful.

"Zip me up?" She asks as she steps into the dress. I carefully walk trying my best not to tear anything but I find I can actually walk easily. I zip up her dress.

"Thank you so much Caroline. I'm so glad I met you, you've been such a great friend to me." I say smiling, it's true. It is honestly a pleasure knowing Caroline. She's such a great person and such a caring friend.

"No problem Elena. He's not gonna know what's hit him. And I love you like a sister." She says conspiratorially. I smirk.

"Likewise."

Caroline and I giggle as we slide into the back of the sleek limo Klaus had provided for us. It was a little much in my opinion but it was cool as hell. I felt like I was twelve again. Caroline and I chatted and sipped champagne the whole forty five minutes there. We finally pull in the long private drive of the Mikaelson manor. The entire tree line on both sides were twinkling with small lights, the place practically glowed. After a few minutes on the quiet road we pull up to the front if the mansion that is lit completely. Women in long fancy dresses walk with their arms linked with men in black tuxedos and for once I don't feel underdressed, maybe I'm even a bit over dressed. I don't really care; chances are I would never see these people ever again in my life, but still I was a reflection of the Salvatore's, so I had to be as pleasant as possible tonight. I just couldn't stop thinking about how Damon would look in a tux.

The driver opens the door on my side and offers both Caroline and I a hand in getting out. I thank him before stepping onto the plush carpet heading up to the entrance. Two men impeccably dressed in all black open the two doors as Care and I walk up the covered steps. I felt like i was forgetting something suddenly. I look at my empty hands and remember my clutch that I must have left in the limo.

"Oh shit care I forgot my bag in the car. Go in I'll catch up with you." I said. She nodded her head and disappeared into the room. Luckily, the driver was still there and I recovered my clutch. I did my best to climb the stairs without ripping anything or falling and I did flawlessly.

"Grazie." I thank the door men and step into the well lit room.

**DAMON POV:**

"Yea well your mom always did know how to throw a party." I trailed off taking a sip of some exorbitantly priced champagne, whatever it's not like it's on me anyway.

"The woman is like that chef lady with all the parties." Klaus trails off, looking around.

"The whole point of a joke is that you have a punch line Nik. I think the name you were looking for is Martha Stuart young knight, better luck next time." I said sarcastically. Oh the Englishmen were at full mast tonight, I'm pretty sure we even had a scheduled tea time.

"Caroline just texted me. She and Elena just got here; she wants to meet at the entrance." He says already looking at the hallway that would take us to the front of the house.

"Well look at you...The wild horse broken in. Sweaty palms?" I joke. His face twists up into a smirk.

"Likewise mate." I rolled my eyes but I knew it was completely true. I loved Elena more than I thought possible. I loved her with such a crushing intensity that anytime we were parted it was like I was thrown completely off balance. Basically, I was the grandfather clock and when she left me time stands still. She was what made me tick, so I was proverbially stuck in place. That's why I need to do this; I need to seal the deal. My fingers dig in my pocket as we make our way to the front of the house. My fingers run over the cool platinum of the ring and gently probe the stones. I needed to do this. I needed to make her mine forever. I had been holding the ring since I had talked to my father. That sneaky bastard.

_**FLASHBACK: **_

_**"So tomorrow's the day huh?" My father asks. Obviously understanding that I'm done with the serious talk for now. I don't care how old I get, I still have the emotional capability of a six year old, and you know what? I'm okay with it, I embrace it. Sure enough, tomorrow is the day.**_

_**"Yep." I replied.**_

_**"Is everything in order for tonight? The travel arrangements? The restaurant?" He asked.**_

_**I shook my head yes. Tomorrow was Elena's birthday and I had planned her a little surprise. I knew she would never willingly let us do anything for her, hence the surprise. AKA she has no choice. This isn't America; you don't have freedom of choice in the Salvatore house.**_

_**"I just need to take care of a few things but yes for the most part. I'm going to need the key for the coast house next weekend if you don't mind, for her present." I stated. He nodded his head.**_

_**"Of course. Run along, I know you would rather be out there with her out and about. Go ahead." He said shooing me with his hand. I rose from the chair and nodded at my father.**_

_**"I almost forgot. One more thing son." He said, I turned back to look at him.**_

_**His hands moved to a drawer ad pulled it open; I hear a clicking of a lock box and a squeak of a hinge. Okay, if the father act had me confused, I was dumbfounded now.**_

_**He placed a small black box on top of the desk and pushed it towards me. I looked at the box and back at him questioningly. He sat back in his chair with a self-satisfied smirk and nodded as I extended my hand to take it. I palmed the satin covers box and examined it between my fingers. I lift the unhinged side carefully ad let out a small gasp as I examine its contents. My eyes flick up to his which are warm with some emotion, joy maybe, something I haven't seen on my father's face since my mom. **_

_**"What the hell is this dad?" I ask still holding the box in my grip.**_

_**"It's a ring Damon." He explains.**_

_**"I know that." I scoff. "It's moms ring. I didn't ask for this." I said pinching the platinum band between my fingers. It was simple, but r was carved with absolute perfection, a few solitary stones twinkled under his desk light. **_

"_**Actually, it was your grandmother's first. And you know why. You only meet a woman like that once in your life and you're a lucky son of a bitch if you even find one, you need to snatch her up before she slips away." **_

_**I felt like I was in the fucking twilight zone. I hadn't thought of marriage since I was a kid, I wanted it as a boy, and I wanted that unconditional love, that other half. But I was hardened by reality; it didn't seem worth it to me after I watched my dad self-destruct after my mother's death. Love just didn't seem worth it to me, let alone tangible. So if I couldn't find love, if get the next best thing, sex. Until Elena obviously. I loved her. I loved her how I had imagined as a boy, all consuming. Now the institution of it seemed like it wasn't enough of a commitment but I don't think I would hesitate to marry her. She was the one girl, the girl I wasn't supposed to find, the girl I wasn't supposed to have. But I have her, she's my forever girl. **_

"_**I don't know what to say dad..." I trail off, genuinely at a loss for words.**_

_**"Just take it. Consider it my blessing. That girl is your everything; whether you know it yet or not. I've seen it since day one. She held your attention like no one else. Well that's on, you can leave now." He practically shoos me out.**_

_**End Flashback**_

Tonight was the night, Elena was leaving in less than three weeks, it gave us enough times to make arrangements, however we decided to do this, if she said yes. I snag a glass of champagne from a waiter passing by and down it quickly to calm my nerves. Klaus gives me a strange look before shrugging and leading us to the front. My eyes searched the room for Elena, but she wasn't insight. I even went so far to look around for Barbie, but I didn't hear anything resembling drills or nails on a chalkboard so I figured both of them weren't here. The doors swung open and in stepped Caroline, dressed in a blue dress and she practically runs into Klaus's arms. But the doors close behind her, I was about to say something when the doors swing open again.

This time it was Elena. I scoffed slightly as I looked at her. Her big brown eyes wandered around the great room before settling on me. I was openly gawking at her; I had never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life. There should be museums built for this kind of beauty. Her hair was swept to the side and sat on one tanned shoulder. Her dress was very red. Her breasts pushed up just slightly and it clung to her every curve in an almost ridiculous fashion. It was like staring at the sun, I couldn't tear my eyes away from it, to the point of it being detrimental. I wouldn't be surprised if I had a pool of slobber under me. I made a mental note to get Caroline a spa appointment.

Elena was a vision. My heart leapt out of my chest as I fingered the ring and dropped it. Pulling out my hands I approached her slowly, still admiring the view, wondering how god could make something so perfect, so beautiful, so worth changing for.

"Hey" she smiles as I get closer. Her puffy lips settle in a small sweet smile. And I can't help myself; I cup her face gently and kiss her. Probably ruining hours of hard work but it was worth it.

"Well hello to you too." She smiled that gorgeous smile, lighting up her entire face.

"My Mr. Salvatore you clean up just fine." She smirks, emphasizing fine.

I pull confidently at the lapels on my Armani jacket and spin in a small circle and stand with my hands on my hips modeling a bit more than necessary. She giggles.

"And you Mrs. Gilbert if it already isn't obvious look absolutely stunning. And that dress..." I trail off.

"Tell me it's easy to take it off." I plead, she only laughs again.

"I guess we will find out later won't we?" She feigns innocence. I hold out my arm offering it to her.

"Shall we? There are people to meet, alcohol to drink and overly expensive food to critique." I offer.

She smiles as she hooks her arm around mine.

"Sure why not." We moved to the busy areas of the home that was filled with people. Old women wearing all sorts of different animal hides, god I could only imagine the plethora of strong floral perfumes in one concentration. My personal favorite was the young women dressed in a far too casual slash stripper wear, holding onto a rich man from old money, and old age too. People like this kept things interesting mainly because they are all rich idiots who drink their weight in tequila.

So I decide it was best to skip that room, I didn't want any wrinkly old men sinking their horny little talons into my Elena. I spotted Ester in the main ball room and she smiled and waves us over.

"Ester Michelson. AKA mommy. Michelson." I whispered and led Elena over to her. Ester was a tall thin regal sort of woman, and so freaking British it was ridiculous. To the point that after an evening with her you would have the common book of prayer memorized. Maybe she would send them out as favors tonight, well wishful thinking!

Every step I took the ring weighed heavier in my pocket, I felt like golum and it was freaking me out. I wiped my palms on my pants discreetly and tried to calm down.

"Damon." She crooned and hugged me briefly. Ester's face pulls into a warm smile.

"Ester, this is Elena." I motioned between the two; Elena shook her hand and smiled at her.

"You have such a lovely home; I don't know how you would ever leave it." Elena said genuinely.

"Thank you. Oh I leave it alright. All those boys make certain of that." She replies.

"Oh my dear I have heard of you. Damon here speaks quite highly of you. And he doesn't speak highly of anybody." She says with a smile. I roll my eyes.

"Hard to believe with such a warm personality." Elena joked. Esther chuckled.

"You've met your match it seems. It's good; you need to be brought down a few pegs. Or a dozen." She quips.

"Alright Princess Diana we are going to move on. She still has to meet the god father, good fellas and scar face." I turn around. Elena mutters a quick apology and goodbye before I sweep her on to the next guests. Elena takes well to this, and after a whole she's holding conversations of her own. Everyone wants to know the new beautiful girl that had 'captured Damon's heart'.

What a load of shit they just wanted to gossip, but Elena was one of those people who could have a room fall in love with them in just a few minutes and it was easy to see she had done just that. I watch as she held a conversation with one of the richest heiresses in the country and how the woman smiled back at her and hung on to her every word.

Men had come up to me periodically claiming I was "a lucky bastard." Their wives and girlfriends stood sour faced next to them. If they all aren't lusting after the woman I love, it actually would have been entertaining. I didn't want much to do with conversation so I sat at one of the makeshift bars with a glass of bourbon and swiveled in my chair so I could watch her.

I imagined next year walking through these same halls introducing Elena to new faces and even old friends as Elena Salvatore. A lump formed in my throat and I nervously played with the ring in my pocket. Maybe I shouldn't do it tonight. She hasn't even told me she loves me yet. She said she was falling in love with me, not that she's in love with me. Maybe I should wait. A surge of self-doubt passes through my body as I watch her laugh and shake hands and hug people, completely working the room. Her doe eyes flick to mine and whatever conversation she is in she halts and excuses herself, leaving behind a very disappointed looking man. She walks towards me smiling slightly and I once again drop the ring in my pocket. She slides gracefully into the stool next to me.

"Hey." She whispers.

"Hey." I match her tone.

"Look at you Ms. Socialite. You wouldn't believe how many guys asked me if we were married engaged or otherwise. Don't worry though I defended your honor." I said. It was true, at least ten or so me came up to me and were asking about her, where they could get her phone number or if she had a boy back home. She was quite the commodity.

"Thank god." She said swiping the glass out of my hand and taking a swig. "Because that was my first question, whether of not you defended my honor." She says sarcastically.

"So Damon what are you doing sulking at the bar all by yourself. Giuseppe would be ashamed at how unsociable you are." She joked.

"Well I've been a little busy staring at you." I smile. A beautiful blush creeps on her cheeks as her eyes move downcast. My gaze falls to her bear shoulder and the long column of her neck. I wanted to run my tongue along her skin and taste her. Although that wouldn't be appropriate in the slightest, not that I care. But she would throw a hissy fit. So I'd get my hands on her another way.

"Care for a dance Ms. Gilbert? I've been dying to put my hands on you."

"I think I can do that." She smiles as we rise from the stools. I grasp her hand and lead her out into the main ballroom where couples are artfully spinning to the orchestra. I grasp her hand and smile encouragingly at her as we slide into the dance floor. I place a hand on her defined waist and shiver as her hand clutches at my shoulder.

Good thing I was taught to lead pretty well. I held onto to her and gently spun us around gracefully. I chuckled under my breath as I watched the men hungrily watching her

"What?" She asks questioningly. My hand skimmed the bare skin just above the small of her back before settling against it.

"Everyone is staring at you and I think I may have to fight a few people."

"Yea Okay." She rolls her eyes. She feels so good under my hands and I revel in the feeling of her clutching herself to me. I spin her around again and again until her cheeks are pink and she's smiling widely.

"You're good at this." She whispers breathlessly. I lean in close to her ear and whisper.

"I've got moves you've never seen." I spin her out once more and pull her tight into my chest. She giggles loudly and leans her head against my shoulder. I close my eyes in complete bliss, her warm body in my arms. I was just so happy. We carried on like this for minutes just swaying back and forth, enjoying the feel of the other on them, trapped in our won bubble of bliss. Until I feel a slight tap on my shoulder, my eyes snap open and I turn my head.

"May I cut in?" Elijah Mikaelson stands behind me. The man who tried I make a move on Elena? I don't think so. I was about to say no but Elena beat me to it.

"Of course Elijah. Damon." She warns me and gave me that look, the manors look. I grumbled under my breath as I let her go and practically storm off like a petulant child. I flop down on the edge of the room on a large chair and watch them. She is smiling slightly and he's gawking back at her like a blind man first seeing the light. I felt jealousy bubble up inside me as I watched his hand slide to the small of her back. That jealously quickly turned to rage as I sat glaring. Only I could touch her like that.

"Care for a dance signore?" A woman wearing a completely inappropriate dress asks, not so subtly pushing up her breasts. I didn't have time for this shit. I scoffed slightly as I looked at the woman.

"I'll pass." I probably said it harsher than necessary, I couldn't help it, I'm still enraged that someone else was touching her, holding her close. She woman walked away after a small sound of protest and I once again found Elena. It was difficult not to notice her in a siren red dress.

The orchestra ceased playing and the song was over. Okay that was long enough for me, I bolted up and stalked towards them. I gently tapped Elijah's shoulder mockingly.

"Mind if I steal my girl back mate?" I ask. He shakes his head no and says good bye to Elena who does the same. I watch as he disappears into the crowd.

"Well you sure didn't waste any time." She says with wide eyes.

"He was touching you too much, only I can do that." I grumbled as I took her hand. I didn't want anyone else's greasy hands on her.

"It's okay it was just Elijah." She said calming me down as she placed her hand on my forearm, gripping it slightly.

"Okay. Wanna take a walk?" I asked, I wanted to get away from all the watchful eyes truthfully, and if I was going to do it, I knew the perfect place.

"Sure." She says with a smile. We maneuver our way out off of the dance floor and through the many winding hallways of the massive place until we hit the large back door. Nobody had ventured this far into the house, so it was completely empty. I held the door open for her as she went outside and I closed it gently behind me. We strolled out along the walkway until we came upon a large lit gazebo.

"Wow!" she said as she stepped into the center and twirled around looking at the lights. "This is gorgeous."

I shrug. "Yea it's okay. But nothing is gorgeous when you're in the room Elena." I said as I approached her. My fingers ran down the skin of her soft cheek. She smiled shyly and pecked her lips against mine. I placed my hands on her hips and she placed hers on my shoulders. It was so quiet out here, it was just us. We slowly swayed in small circles, her warm body clutched to mine. This was it. I took a deep breath.

"Elena?" I asked against her hair.

"Hmm?" she responds lazily.

"I need to ask you something." My hands slide into my pocket. This is it.


	34. There is No Such Thing As A Clean Break

_**Sorry, I'm watching supernatural on Netflix and it's easy to get caught up in ( ITS REALLY FREAKING GOOD I SUGGEST IT) and one more episode turns into 'oh just one more episode' then I'm sitting on my couch crying two seasons later with a gallon of ice cream and a spoon so my apologies, Sam and Dean are my weakness.**_ _**This chapter is emotionally exhausting so get out the tissues.. If you haven't noticed already the way I have written Damon and Elena there are subtle role reversals. ( For example, in the show damon can't commit initially, he thinks he is selfish but can't be around her, however I wrote Elena in that way because of her 'dark past' that I babble about for chapters on end. So if you see any Damon quotes that are in Elena's dialogue that is the reason!)**_

_**Thanks for reading and reviewing! Enjoy**_

_**PS- Does anyone else think it's stupid that Papa Mikealson's name is Michael…? That makes me uncomfortable.**_

"Okay? What is it?" she asks. Her face scrunching up into a worried look as she looked up at me. _Do it, ask her. DO IT! _I think. Her eyebrows pull together and I want to smooth the skin with my finger. I couldn't ask her, it was too selfish. We hadn't even talked about what would happen when she left yet. This was premature. _Pussy_ I think. _NO, do it. _

"I just wanted to ask you…" My voice wavered slightly. _Marry me, Elena. Marry me. Be my future. Be with me forever_. Now all I had to do was find my voice and say it. Her eyes locked with mine and I was instantly warm and comforted. I looked at my own scared expression reflected in her big brown in them as I opened my mouth a small shriek echoed in the empty yard. I closed my mouth and looked at her confused, was it her who made that sound? Her eyebrows scrunch up and her eyes scan the yard.

"I wanted to ask you to…." I started before being cut off again.

"Elena? Damon? Where the hell are you guys?" A shrill voice called out aggressively. My fists clinch in anger, really? Whoever the hell is interrupting me is going to get a punch.

"I swear if you're having sex in a shed or something and you ruin that dress I'm going to kill you!" A disgruntled Caroline called out.

Seriously? I was about to bear my freaking soul out here and Malibu beach Barbie had to screw it up. Her piercing voice echoed in the yard followed by obnoxious heel clicks all along the patio until the Barbie herself is in front of me. If she wasn't a woman I would have taken a swing at her for screwing up what should have been the perfect proposal. He didn't just cock blocked me, possibly marriage blocked. Bitch.

"What could you possibly need right now Caroline? What is so god damn important?" I snap as I stomp my way over to the gazebo entrance. She places a hand on her hip.

"I don't like your attitude and I'd watch it or I'll take out your eye with my stiletto kay?" she says sweetly.

"You both need to come inside, Klaus and I looked everywhere for you two. We even had to check the bedrooms because I know how you two can get. But I would probably give you a prize if you were even able to get that dress off of her because it's like a glove, let me tell you…" She babbled on, my anger bubbled up again.

"Caroline, the point please? Like now Barbie?" I mocked. She narrows her eyes and gives me a death glare before continuing on, she was like an angry kitten.

"Ester is about to make the whole announcement introduction thing and all the little Mikealson's and dates are supposed to have some tradition dance thing and supposedly you two were supposed to do it with us. So move your little horny asses we have to go back inside." She turned around and clicked off along the walkway. We both stood and watched. She promptly turned around and scolded us.

"Get! Let's go!" she shouts. I huffed before turning back to Elena who smiled faintly at me.

"Let's go I guess." She said and carefully stepped down from the gazebo. We walked quietly to the house and I'm glad she didn't ask any more questions or ask me about the conversation Caroline interrupted. We stepped back into the bright light of the house and followed the stream of guests towards the staircase where the Mikealson's stood looking down on the guests. Even Michael or papa Mikaelson stood on the staircase. Michael Mikaelson, what an original name. The main staircase was massive and twisted up to the second and third floors. The banister was lined with more twinkling lights as they all stood looking down on the room's occupants.

"Welcome!" Elijah's voice boomed from the top of the steps. "Thank you for joining us. You know whenever my mother brings our family together like this, it's tradition for us to commence the evening officially with traditional dance. Tonight's pick is a centuries old waltz. So if all of you could please find yourself a partner and please join us in the main ballroom." He smiled and the family descended the steps. Always the spectacle. My eyes snuck to Elena beside me who wore a small smirk.

"They're a bit dramatic don't you think?" she whispers conspiratorially.

"Of course they are look at them, it's ridiculous." I sneer. "It would be rude not to dance you know?" I smiled slightly at her and extended my hand. Her gaze flicked from my hand to my eyes before she rolled her eyes and shook her head slightly. She placed her hand in mine and smiled.

"It is tradition." She says. I wrap her arm around mine and lead her to the main ballroom door's that had just been opened for the first time tonight. The gold furnishings glittered beautifully as the guests lined the dance floor. While the Mikealson's and Elena and I, moved to the center. Her face was slightly flushed and I could tell she hated being the center of attention but at least I could make it fun. The orchestra played a soft song while we lined up. First started Ester and Michael as they spun gracefully. Next started Fin and Kol, next was Klaus.

"Follow my lead and you'll be fine." I say and grab her hand leading her straight down the line. Her innocent eyes flick to mine and stay there as we begin to move. It's so easy to get lost in her chocolate depths, it's like I can see everything that she is in them. Like gateway's to her soul. Wow do I sound like a bullshitter right now or what? We turn the corner and her head straightens out, but I can't keep my eyes off of her for even a moment. I stare at the delicate profile of her face and scoff; I don't know how it's possible for someone to be so perfect, so stunning.

"You're exquisite you know that?" I whispered. She shyly looks up at me with her wide eyes only emphasizing my point.

"Thank you." She smiles. And finally I pull her into my arms and we spin in a large circle. She didn't even know how perfect she was. My eye's never left her's as I led her about the dance; I couldn't help the stupid love struck smile on my face. I felt overwhelmed with the need to tell her I loved her. So I did.

"I love you Elena." I whispered against her hair. I didn't expect anything back, maybe I expected her to barf on my shoes or something but she just stayed against my chest silently.

The music changes and more couples join us on the floor, all spinning in conjunction with the slow music. I reminisced back on when I first met her. It was funny, the man I was before and the man I am now.

I thought I had everything all figured out then, I was arrogant, I still am. I didn't believe in love, I struggled with emotions, I was lonely. The only proof of love I'd ever seen was between my parents' but that didn't last long and I watched as it destroyed my father. But holding her against me and feeling that undeniable emotion of love flooding my brain and heart, I have no idea how I ever denied it was impossible to love. What I still don't get is why me? Why do I get her? It doesn't make sense, either she's here to save me or I'm here to save her. Even my thoughts sound crazy, but there is no other explanation. She is too good for me, too pure, practically angelic. So here I was, a changed man almost six months later because of this woman. This one woman, who has seen more pain in her life than most, and deserves every happiness in the world but receives nothing, me instead. I absentmindedly press my lips to her soft hair and burry my face in it, she smells like lavender and vanilla.

Her hands curled around my arms and she clutched herself to the lapels of my black jacket, her eyes were closed and her face relaxed a smile on her face.

"Mmmm I like you in a tux Mr. Salvatore." she mutters appreciatively and runs her fingers down my chest along the hem of the jacket. My entire body catches fire at just the simple touch.

"And I like you better with nothing on, but this dress comes second I think." I flirt, doing that eye thing she loves.

"Yea well I hope you like my sweatpants because as soon as we get home, I'm putting them on." She whines slightly, thank god I wasn't a woman, they wear too many clothes and have too many hormones. I swear at least half of Elena's expenses are for her hair products, makeup and chocolate for when she's, well you know. Uhh and thank god for that, honestly I'd take hard-on's any day over that.

"Home." I repeat, more of a statement, I like that she thought of it as home.

"Home." She repeats with a small smile. And I guess you could say that's when I had my 'white picket fence moment', I saw it all, everything I wanted.

I saw Elena walking down the aisle, her eyes locked only on mine, dressed in a white gown with her face glowing, her plump lips pulled into a smile and her cheeks red with embarrassment. I saw the honeymoon I would take her on, the clothes scattered on the floor, staying up at night just to watch her sleep curled into my side. I saw the rings on her finger, the constant reminder she is only mine to have and to hold which I will for however long I live. I saw children running through the halls of my house with dark hair and chocolate eyes, a little girl as beautiful as Elena that I would undoubtedly have to invest in a shotgun for. I saw little boys running around the house with blue eyes and brown thick hair. I saw it all; everything that used to make me sick to my stomach was now all I could ever hope for. **That** would be home. And I couldn't wait to take her there and to build it with her. After almost an hour, I couldn't wait anymore.

"Let's get out of here." I suggested as I spun her out and pulled her to me. A slow sexy smile forms on her lips.

"Let's go." She whispers.

_**~Elena POV: one week later AKA THE LEAST SMOOTH SEGWAY INTO ANOTHER PART OF THE STORY~**_

Five days. That's a work week, usually I would be jumping for freaking joy, but everything about this week was different. Everything. This was it, the last five days I had in Italy. I had to say goodbye to people, something I should be used to considering how familiar I am with the concept, but I'm not. I have been on edge since the party last week; ever since Damon told me he loved me I had been stiff. I had done my best to avoid the situation, turn the other way and ignore it and it looks like Damon had taken similar measures, we hadn't even spoken about what would happen when I left. I couldn't escape it now, a constant pit in my stomach, I should have known better. This will only end in pain.

I stared at the bags I had tossed in the center of my room. There was no hiding from it now, in five days I would be home, in my uncomfortable cold bed. Damon wouldn't be beside me. I wouldn't go to work and see Caroline and I wouldn't be here for Stefan or any of my other friends. I had drawn this out, I had tried to convince myself it wasn't happening for a while but I had to start packing, even saying my goodbye's to some people. I knew Damon, he would try to talk me into something or out of it, and he wouldn't let me go easy. I wanted him more than anything, which is why I had to go; nothing he could say could change my mind. It wasn't realistic me staying here or coming back after graduation. I had a family at home. And what could I even offer him? Lately he's been talking about settling down in the future. Why would I hinder that when there is some woman out there who will be his Mrs. Salvatore gladly and will fit the bill. She won't be broken, she won't have dead parents, a dead homicidal ex, she'll know how to cook, and she'll know how to be everything he wants from a woman. I would never be that woman for him, I wanted to but I knew, I was too far gone for that. It hurt like a bitch, but it's what was best for him. And if I really loved him with every fragment of my being like I know I did, then that's what I needed to do, for him.

I dreaded our goodbye more than anything in the world. I can't be selfish with him. I systematically begin packing my bags as the tears roll down my cheeks quickly. My own weakness infuriated me! I should have known better, to fall in love. I should have stopped myself, I should have moved out when it became too much, I should have pushed him away, which is the last thing I want to do. Right now all I wanted to do was pull him closer. I shoved my shoes in the bag angrily and I ended up just shoving the cumbersome bags out of my way and sliding down against my closet door sobbing, like the little broken girl I am.

Why couldn't I be normal? Fall in love, marry, have kids, be happy. No guilt, no regret, minimal pain. That was all but an intangible pipe dream for little old Elena Gilbert. A rap of knuckles at the door got my attention. I quickly wiped my face on the sleeve of my sweatshirt as I said "come in", my voice thick with tears. The door swings open and a suspicious looking Damon enters.

"Hey are you…" he trails off. If he asked if I was okay I was going to kill him. Apparently the look on my face told him enough, because he said, "never mind. What's eating you Gilbert?" as he walks over and slides down next to me cautiously, like I'm a rabid dog. Which makes sense because I'm pretty close to one emotionally.

"It might have something to do with the heaping pile of luggage in the middle of my room." I growled. I was not in the mood. I was too angry, and I shouldn't be lashing out on him, it's my existential crisis not his. I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my forehead against them. I huffed angrily.

"You can hit me if you want, actually no. You can hit Stefan!" he jokes. I was too caught up in my own self-loathing to even notice what he was saying, I heard it but didn't comprehend. A slow tenitive hand rests on my shoulder and rubs it gently. It relaxes my body instantly, which makes me even angrier. I've become so dependent on someone else! I knew I was weak before this, but this is an all-time low even for me.

"Let's take a walk." He said quietly, probably concerned with my behavior. I peeked through my fingers at his ice blue eyes looking sympathetically down at me, I didn't deserve sympathy. But I took the bait; I slowly put my knees down. He smiles a little bit and suddenly talking a walk sounds great. He stands up and extends a hand to help me up. We walked quietly along the stone path in silence; I'm guessing he was giving me time to think which I appreciated. But I was done thinking; I was emotionally exhausted so I focused only on the sound of rocks crunching under my feet. I was about to walk across the grass to our usual walking trail when he lightly tugs my hand and nods towards the barn. I guess he wants to go riding, great now I'll even have to say goodbye to the horses and I'll probably cry.

Damon gave me a tight, stiff smile before pushing open the large door and leading me inside. I gasped as we entered the barn, flickering lanterns sat scattered around the barn creating a twinkling effect. It was gorgeous. I spun around looking at how beautiful it was. It was gorgeous, but why is it here? I looked back at Damon and felt my heart drop; my smile fell from my face as I watched the pained expression on his face. His eyes swept over my face studying me, he was worrying me.

"Damon? What is this?" I ask, my voice sounding thoroughly confused.

"This is us." He whispers. He gulps and looks down before he looks back up at me. I'm still stuck in the twilight zone of confusion; I stare blankly at him waiting for an explanation. A barn covered in horse shit isn't the best idea for dinner, so I don't know if that's what this is or not. My eyes sweep the room again and there is no table. Oh no. Oh god, no please no.

"Elena, this is where I first kissed you. Where I fell in love with you Elena. And it's only fitting this is the place I ask you to be mine for the rest of our lives. I want all of you, the pieces, everything. I want you to annoy the hell out of me for the rest of my life, I want you to make me the better man I am when I'm around you, I want to be by your side foe everything life throws at us, And I want it forever. I want to call you mine forever." He says passionately, his eyes blazing.

My mind was blank. There was nothing.

But then there was that feeling again, in the pit of my stomach. That feeling that made bile rise to my throat. I was too stunned to say anything, too stunned to fight back. I watched with an open mouth as he sunk to one knee on the floor of the hay covered barn and grabbed one of my hands. His striking blue eye met mine and I was hypnotized, all I could think about was how much I was about to hurt him. He wasn't supposed to do this, not with me.

"Elena." He whispers, sounding like a dying mans wish. One of his shaking hands grasped mine and held it tightly.

" Marry me?" He deadpans. His face hopeful, his hands shook slightly as he raised an object up to me. The lanterns around us flickered throwing a shine off of the ring in his fingers. I was close enough to see it was beautiful, so intricate, no doubt an heirloom. And as my brain processed more and more and eventually caught up to the present the more I knew I was going to break his heart. I wanted to scream yes, every fiber of my body wanted to. But I couldn't, I couldn't do that to him. He would live an unfulfilled life with me, he deserved the best quality of life there was, and he wouldn't have that with me. He deserved so much more than who I am.

The silence dragged on uncomfortably. I couldn't meet his eyes. However at some point he rose from his kneeling position to stand up. He could have been there minutes or seconds, I don't really know how long. But every second felt like days, I could tell I was breaking his heart.

"So that's it huh? You can't even answer me?" He snaps. I jump slightly at the tone of his voice, I deserved worse, but it was still uncomfortable.

"I can't." I whisper, looking up at him. My eyes pleaded with him but he was cold, closed off again. He was the Damon I met in the garden when I first came here.

"You are your own worst god damn enemy Elena! You think you don't deserve something so you sabotage it be willing to take Elena a risk Elena, that's what life is. It's about life and loss; you've had enough of loss indulge in the love. Do what you want for once!" He pleaded, his eyes warming slightly. I couldn't find any more words, only _I can't _swirled in my thoughts.

"Unless you don't love me, unless I'm not enough, unless you want to walk away right now." He interrogated. I had to hurt him, I couldn't be soft with this, I needed a clean cut. I would have to say horrible, selfish things that would hurt him. Necessary evil's, and suddenly word's exploded out of my mouth.

"Damon, I can't do this! We are too different this would never work." _**Lie.**_

"Bullshit! We are perfect for each other Elena. Forget about everything else and answer me this. Do you want this?" It was his turn to plead now. Silence. I count thirty seconds of silence before I meet his eyes again.

"So that's it huh? You're just giving up. Giving up on being happy?" I turn back around. "Damon. I'm not giving up." _**Lie. I'm throwing in the towel.**_

"All you've done is give up." He scowls. His hands run roughly through his hair as he paces back and forth like a zoo animal in captivity.

" I'm sor..." I say reflexively, but I keep my expression cold and closed off, I needed to if I was going to get out of this barn looking like I don't care about him.

"Don't. Don't. say it Elena. It's my turn to talk. Relationships aren't perfect, I've never heard of one and frankly I have never been in a functioning one. I get it, you're broken. Trust me I get it. You may be able to go home and forget... But I can't Elena. Because I am so wretchedly in love with you, I don't know how to feel or act around you, I don't even recognize who I am anymore. You occupy my every dream and thought during the day. It's painful trying to keep myself away from you. Your smile makes my knees weak, and even just looking at your lips lights my body on fire. I haven't cared about anything for years, you brought a rush of feelings back I thought were permanently expelled from my body to the forefront. You gave me hope and love. I'm willing to accept your flaws in all because that's how much I love you Elena and I see that you do too." He all but practically shouts it. And like a switch, it felt as if my emotions flipped off, if only it were that easy. I had to be horrible to him, I had to. I took a breath before I opened my mouth.

"You know what I see? I see a man who never got the love he needed. I see a confident man on the exterior that hides behind his sarcasm and supposed cockiness but in reality you're afraid to admit that you do get hurt. But most of all I see someone who needs and deserves unconditional love and happiness for however long you live because you are good Damon. That's why it's not real, you can't love me. I can't give you anything in return. I can't be that unconditional love that you and I both know you want and need Damon."

"Don't tell me it isn't real Elena! You don't know jackshit about what I feel! Go ahead leave if that's what you want, it doesn't matter! I'll spend the rest of my life with one goal, loving you. And if there is an afterlife, I'll love you then too. So don't you dare tell me this isn't real! I know it and you know it and you are lying to me but most of all you are lying to yourself." He said, slowly cooling down.

"I have never been that guy, the emotions guy. I would shit myself laughing at the idea of love. Few people challenged me and even fewer tried to get to know me. Nobody knew I was deflecting until some seemingly insignificant girl comes to live with us. Elena, you are the only person on this planet who can hurt me anymore. You're a mess Elena. You are a torrent of emotion and gorgeous chaos. But…" He trails off. My blood boils, that's what I am, chaos.

A mess, A project, someone who needs fixing.

"What Damon are you going to help fix me? Everyone always seems to want to fix me! Am I just another new project? Guess what I can't be fixed! I'm broken! An empty shell. I can't put myself through anything else and I sure as hell am not dragging you into it Damon. Stop trying to put me back together!" I scream, hot angry tears clouding my vision. All everyone wants to do is fix me, they don't get it's not possible. I look up at him and feel the guilt wash back into my body and the switch flicks back on, I feel so sick, so guilty, like I could drown in it.

"It's better for both of us this way." I whimper.

"Bullshit! How is this better for anyone Elena? How? Tell me how never seeing the woman I am in love with again will be better for me? We've gotten through so much more together but you are just throwing it away. You are so close Elena. Don't give up on us. Let yourself feel"

"Oh I feel it Damon, I feel everything! And guess what it sucks. I came here with the intentions of continuing living my typical cookie cutter life, doing my job and coming home. I can't give you what you want Damon no matter how much I want to! I can't be the person you want me to be. I care too much about you, which is why I have to let you go. "I sob.

Only numbness and exhaustion left in my body, I don't even feel guilt right now. I turned around, I turned my back on him. The man who took the skeleton's in my closets and helped me bury them, without judging. I turned my god damn back on him.

"So you don't want to marry me." He sounded so defeated, the man on the pedestal was no more, he looked just as broken as I felt. I had to finish this.

"I don't want to marry you." _**LIE.**_

"I don't want to stay in Italy." _**LIE.**_

"And I don't want to come back…" _**LIE.**_

"So you don't love me." He asks.

"No. I don't love you." _**LIE. **_

And with nothing more said between the two of us, I walked out on him. I tried to ignore the sound of glass breaking and tables being overturned as I shut the barn door and hurried away from it. I ran on the pathway, trying to focus on the sounds of it like before, but even that didn't drown out the sounds of destruction coming from the barn. Tears completely overcame me as I thought of all the things I had said to him just to make him resent me. So it would be easier for him and for me, a clean break. I just wished it didn't happen so soon. How the fuck was I supposed know he would propose? I made it back to the house quickly and ran up the stairs crying, completely blowing off a concerned Stefan.

"Elena?" he called after me. I all but slammed the door to my room and collapsed on the floor in a pile. I ferociously shook as the tears kept coming and coming like ocean waves and how his pained crystal eyes burned into mine. My fingers fumbled in my pocket until I felt my phone. I scrolled in my contacts until I found it. I pressed call and hoped to god it would get picked up

"Hello?" Caroline's chipper voice answers to my relief…

"Caroline." I croak.

"What happened Elena?" She asks, concerned. I had no other choice, I needed my best friend.

"I happened." I whispered.

_**Sorry emotional chapters are difficult to write and proof read ( I didn't proof read so… sorry,) I hope that it was okay…. Let me know. Thanks guys! **_


	35. Walls

_**Here's to the road to literary redemption…. This chapter is going to jump around a bit back and forth between Damon and Elena POV's. UHH sorry but Netflix is a constant distraction, luckily I finished supernatural and I'm going to try my best to wrap up this story. I hate writing them fighting (rhyme city bitch) but I have to do it…. Sorry guys. Enojy!**_

Walls are strange things, useful. They give you privacy, they keep you protected, and they create a sense of security and comfort. They are strong, not easily destroyed but not impossibly. I wonder how many sledge hammers it would take to take down one of Caroline's warm brown wall I was currently staring at. How many people it would take it down, probably a few men. And no, I wasn't just sitting there pondering construction, I was trying to put my finger on the moment that my own walls crumbled to shambles and rubble, leaving them easy to mantle, leaving me vulnerable. Unlike these four walls, it took only one man to break them irreparably. I thought I knew pain after my parents, I thought I had felt all the pain the world had to offer after Mason, but all of it paled in insignificance went it came to him. _Damon_. It hurt to even think his name.

I think it was that challenging personality at first. The fact that he didn't look at me with pity, he didn't care what I had gone through, he treated me like he would treat anyone else initially. But when I think of the initial swings of the sledge hammer on my own walls, it's much clearer. However his initial treatment was not the greatest, I secretly appreciated the normalcy. It was that smile that was the first swing of the sledgehammer; the way his eyes burned into mine the second, the third was his compassion. Even thought it was a hidden trait, he was soft, sweet and caring. But I think the final blow was him proposing. My stomach churned at the thought of it. I wanted nothing more than to scream yes, kiss him and stay for him, build a life with him. But I can't be selfish with him; I can't do what I want, because whenever I do, the people I love most get hurt. I can't even bring myself to cry or be upset; my guilt blankets every other emotion. I don't deserve to be upset and cry.

I brought this on myself, and I couldn't feel bad for myself. I wonder what he's doing right now. I imagine him sitting in the leather chair in his room, with his shirt unbuttoned, holding a large glass of bourbon. Just enough that you could taste it on his lips. I imagine his black hair flopped over his forehead in disarray from him running his fingers through it from exasperation. What hurt the most was knowing I wouldn't be there to taste the liquor on his lips or run my fingers through his hair, I wouldn't be able to look into his eyes and try to set things right, it wasn't my place anymore. Just a few hours ago it was, but now it's not. All I can see in my head is the pain in his clear eyes, how bad I really hurt him. Those eyes that had always captivated me had always been so filled with joy and humor. But all of those memories were veiled by this one; I watched his heart break from the things I said.

And although I willed myself not to cry, tears streamed down. But they were for a distinct purpose, the tears that rolled down my face were not for me, they had nothing to do with my self-loathing, they were for him. Everything was for him, it always will be.

A squeak of a door hinge and soft padding of feet come down the hallway, Caroline flips the light on. She smiled at me and walked over, flopping down on the cushion next to me. My lips form into a ghost of the smile at the sight of Caroline bare faced without makeup, her bouncy hair in a ponytail and wearing pink fuzzy pj's. That smile quickly faded as her mouth set in a frown and her eyebrows pulled up and she looked at me concerned. And just like that I was sulking again.

"Hey. How are you doing?" she asks softly. There it is. The 'how are you?' question, I've been asked that more times in my life than anything else I think. I tried not to get annoyed because it was Caroline, and she genuinely wanted to know how I was doing.

"I'm a mess." I laughed humorlessly. My fingers played with the hem of my shirt anxiously.

"I'm so sorry Elena." Caroline whispered softly. No, don't be sorry for me. I deserved this.

"Don't be sorry for me Care. Be sorry for Damon. He didn't do anything wrong, and I just wrecked him. I don't deserve to be comforted, this entire thing fault.

"Come on Elena don't be so hard on yourself. Couples fight." She shrugs. She's saying that now, when I told her what I actually did I'm sure she wouldn't feel the same way. This wasn't just any fight.

"No Caroline you don't get it." I said hanging my head, beating around the bush.

"You're right I don't. Tell me. Sometimes it helps to get things off your chest." She suggested. The only thing I had told her on the phone when I had called was a tearful 'Damon and I had gotten into a fight'. Understatement of the year. She deserves an explanation since she was being so hospitable and sweet.

"It's not just another fight Caroline." Tears cloud my vision uncontrollably. Her eyebrows knit in confusion.

"He proposed to me Caroline." My hoarse voice rang out, I kept my eyes fixed on the coffee table and prayed she would understand, I couldn't take loosing anyone else tonight. A few seconds of silenc dragged on.

"Wow." She dead pans, her blue eyes wide in surprise. "I guess I kinda saw it coming but it's still weird thinking of Damon doing that. I'm guessing you didn't say yes." She smiled sadly. I shook my head and twined my fingers together nervously.

"I wanted to. I still want to. I couldn't imagine a happier life then with Damon. But I can't. I can't do it Care."

"Can't or won't?" She asks cautiously.

"Both. I can't do that to him. I'm not all there Caroline. I'm never going to be that normal girl who breezes through life, I have some vital pieces missing. I can't dump my emotional angst on him. He deserves the best things in the world and I'm far from it. I can't let him settle when he could be somewhere better. And I won't. No matter how much I want him." I said.

"You love him." Caroline said softly.

"Yes." I answered. She smiles slightly.

"That wasn't a question. I know you do. You wouldn't sacrifice your happiness and your future if you weren't in love with him Elena. I know that you think there's something wrong with you Elena, but the only thing I see is an extremely selfless person. You are so selfless it's a fault." She chuckles. I watch her cautiously, confused why she wasn't judging me.

"And don't think you are getting off lucky with the whole 'I'm not good enough' talk because I'm just going to ignore your whole self-loathing thing because that's a whole conversation in and of its self. What I'm struggling with is whether or not I should slap some sense into you or send you into sainthood." Caroline shrugged.

"I'm hardly a saint Care." I scoff. "I can't even think about what the things i said to him must have done. I lied, over and over again. I tore him down. And this whole thing was to prevent pain for him and I end up hurting him more and more." I asked.

"What did he say?"

"He called my bluff which made me even more angry, he was so close to making me give in, but I couldn't. You should have seen him Caroline. It was like watching the life drain from his eyes. I destroyed him." I cover my eyes with my hands and sob silently.

"It's okay Elena. He's a tough kid. It's you I'm worried about." She says concerned. She really was my best friend, even when I'm undoubtedly in the wrong she's comforting me. One of her hands soothingly rubs my back. I don't deserve this comfort.

"I can take the pain Care, it's self-inflicted. It's his pain I can't take." I mumbled.

"Maybe you should call him." She suggested.

"I'd only make things worse. I don't think an apology could cover it. And I don't want to apologize because of the things I said, because I'm right. I'm no good for him. I only feel sorry for hurting him so badly. What kind of person does that make me Caroline?"

"Just that, Elena. A person. It makes you human. We make mistakes. That's our thing." I laughed humorlessly. "You know it wouldn't hurt you to go after what you want Elena. Damon seemed quite alright with your arrangement. In fact I have never seen him more generous, approachable and sweet as he is with you."

"It's better this way, he'll get over me."

"Maybe." She frowned. "Alright. I'm calling an official timeout." She said as she hopped up. "Before you even think of saying anything else we need a few things. Food and a movie."

She rummages through the cabinets and returns with an armful of bags and jars. Caroline is such a fantastic person, god I was going to miss her. She puts on a movie and hands me a jar of Nutella and a spoon with a smile before she focuses on the TV. I sink back into the couch and absentmindedly watch the movie, without really watching it. My mind was on him. All I could think about was maybe that would be the last time I would ever see him. He might not want to see me before I left. I don't even know if I wanted to see him again. What had I called it? A clean break? But there was nothing clean about what I had done.

After a few hours, Caroline went off to bed, leaving me to my own thoughts, in the dark with only with my own thoughts.

_**"You're your own worst enemy."**_ His words echoed in my head. I winced, because it was so true. I sabotage myself. Better me than him.

I curl onto the couch even tighter, the only light in the room supplied by the moon shining through the window. A shiver runs down my spine and I wrap the blanket around my shoulders and look outside at the silvery cast of the moon. So here I sat in self-imposed isolation and silence, not to mention darkness in a catatonic state like I had for the entire night. The apartment around me was quiet as the dead, all but the soft drip of tears settling on the hardwood floor. There was nothing else to do but stare at the mess I made.

_**DAMON POV: **_

I miss the times when things were so cut and dry. I had to only worry about myself and my brother. Everyone else could go to hell as far as I was concerned. It was times like this that I wish I hadn't thrown the whole 'fuck the world' mentality out the window, because this would have never happened. I wouldn't have opened myself up, I wouldn't have made myself so vulnerable because now look at me, destroyed, my world upturned. Maybe I can just snap back to the way I was before her, because obviously she wants nothing to do with me. I'm so fucking confused, it was times like this I missed my mom the most, she would have told me what to do. I couldn't exactly confide in my father, and that's just too weird with Stefan, so cue the bottle. There are so many times I have no fucking idea what I'm doing these days, like I don't know now.

I laughed humorously at the ceilings I have been staring at for what must be hours. I bring the bottle to my lips and don't even cringe at the large gulp I take down my throat. I lift it again only to find that I had emptied it completely. I frown and throw it on the ground, the glass splits into millions of shards that tumble on onto the floor in a fine powder, and some coarse pieces shine from the moonlight through my window. That'd be a bitch to clean up tomorrow. I'd have to fix that when I woke up.

_**"What Damon are you going to help fix me... Guess what I can't be fixed!"**_

I winced at the sharp words that replayed like the weather channel in my head, over and over again, a continuous loop. I wasn't even mad right now, you know why? Because I'm drunk. And when I'm drunk I can't smell her shampoo and perfume, I can't taste her lips, I can't even think straight, so I don't have to think about what tomorrow will bring and the things I should have said. So anything to block out the pain, even if I smell like a bar, even if I taste vomit and copious amounts of liquor it's better than smelling the roses and dealing with the fact that she left me. I lay on my back flat on my bed and watched as the room spun around me.

_**"I don't want to marry you."**_

I squeeze my eyes shut and sit myself up against the pillows of my bed. And I saw her, over and over again. Her brown eyes fading, the tears she was trying to hold back, but then the things she would say. I was confused. Her mouth was sharp, but her eyes spoke volumes. For every insult and negation of anything I said, her eyes swelled with contradiction. She was an emotional martyr.

Yes, maybe it was premature to propose but she was the one who said there are only two things for sure in life. Being born and dying, and when I found what I wanted why would I waste any time? But it's obvious that it wasn't reciprocated. My hand hit the cool, smooth bed sheets beside me that has been her place every night for I don't even know how long. The coldness felt alien, my body felt frozen without her body heat and even just her presence.

I close my eyes again and try to feel something, anything. Maybe I'm just having some weird trippy dream. I search for any emotion; to prove this wasn't real. That I would be startled awake in the night to find Elena's head resting against my chest and her pulled tight to me. But I knew better, I knew this was no dream. Because if I was in a dream, I wouldn't feel this empty. I wouldn't feel so god damn hollow inside like I do right now. I wish I felt something, just to remind me that I do have a heart, what's left if it at least. I drunkenly toss a hand over my eyes and work to clear my head, anything about her I shove to the outside of my mind and build a wall around it.

Maybe I deserved it; I wasn't good enough to be happy. I blame my head for my own heart's mistake, I should have known better. And I don't know what I'm supposed to do, but she is probably out there crying so maybe I will too. I'm alone after all. A knock at the door shakes me from my drunken tirade. I don't even bother looking at who it is, there is a bout a .05% chance that it would be Elena, and even drunk I know that the probability of me being disappointed is more often than not. My eyes stay trained on the floor while a pair of feet cross the wood and stop in view. Stefan. Any and every semblance of an emotional wall went up in the presence of someone now. Self-preservation I guess, it's easier for when people undoubtedly leave. _Cue the sarcasm, _I think.

"What the hell Damon?" Stefan asks angrily.

"What specifically about hell do you want to know? The fire, Lucifer, what? You're going to have to be more specifinick!" I mumbled drunkenly turning my head slightly and smirking at Stefan. His face was crumpled up in disgust, good thing I didn't care.

"What the hell did you do to Elena?" He growls. Ahh just what I needed, a judgmental brother accusing me.

"I didn't do anything Dr. Phil!" I replied. I'm sure he was rolling his stupid eyes at me, but the ceiling needed more visual analyizations.

"Why is it that I don't believe you?" He demands. Ughh he is so touchy and nosy, if I had control of my motor skills right now I'd probably punch him.

"Believe what you want brother." I said looking at the small dimples in the ceiling. How did a ceiling even stand up? That's some weird shit. It's like magic or something.

"You're drunk, and mad. That's really unhealthy for a normal person, let alone you." Stefan says judgmentally.

"You `know what I want Stefan? I want you to fuck off, and leave me alone like everyone else? Kay?" I slur and flipped face down on my bed, giving him the hint to leave me the fuck alone. He stomped out of the room right on cue, I sighed into the sheets beneath me. They smelled like her, I flipped my head to the other side and drifted into a drunken sleep. The last thing that passes my conscious thoughts is, _**"No. I don't love you."**_


	36. Goodbye

_**The departure chapter; I don't really know what else to say other than there are a LOT of goodbyes in this chapter, like a ton. Whatever! I hope you enjoy.**_

The first thing I looked for as we pulled in was the faded blue Camaro in the driveway. It was gone. I don't know if I feel relieved or disappointed. I grabbed my small suitcase out of Caroline's trunk and wheeled it up to the door of the Salvatore's house. Caroline had been quiet almost the entire ride, I was too. This was it for us, at least for now. We had promised one another that we would visit once a year if possible but still, she had become my best friend and I wasn't ready to leave her and face reality again. I turn back around and look at her, she already has tears running down her face and her mouth is fixed in a pout. I had spent the last five nights at her apartment with her after the fight and if anything we got even closer. I was even offered a job at her company anytime I wished to come back. It seems like all signs pointed for me to stay in Italy, which is why I was so scared to stay. Things never worked out for me, everything falling in place seemed too good to be true, I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her small shoulders and hug her. She hugs me back with more enthusiasm and squeezes me tight.

"God Elena I'm going to miss you so much." I say thickly. I feel tears prick at my eyes and I sadly smile as I pull back to look at her.

"I'm going to miss you too Elena. I want an update at least once a week, you hear me?" She demands which makes me smile. I nod my head yes and wipe a tear away.

"Kick some ass Forbes. Next time I see you I want to see your name on a label!" I smile. She chuckles and wipes away her own tears.

"What the hell am I supposed to do without you? I'll need to make friends…" She trails off. After one final smile and another hug, I promise to call her when I get in and she gets in her car and drives away. Good bye number one down and god was it hard.

But this would be even harder; could I just walk in the house like everything was okay? What did he tell them? Did he tell them anything? Where is he? My mind fired off a million questions and finally I just decided to walk in. The house was quiet and it seemed nobody was home so I wheeled my luggage to the steps and carried it up. It was weird how much I have missed this place when I had only been gone four days; I missed it more here than I did in Mystic Falls halfway around the world. Even the smell of the house I missed, so I slowly walked up the creaky wooden stairs appreciating the small quirks about it I would probably never see again. I stop at the door to my room and place my luggage in front of the door but before I open it I look across the hall at his door. It's shut and in a moment of courage I didn't know I had, I grasp the knob and turn it. The door swings open and the room is empty, still in pristine condition. Even just by standing in the doorway I smell him. I shake my head and slowly close the door.

"He's not here. Ran off a few days ago." A deep voice calls from down the hallway, startling me. I jump slightly before I place the voice.

"Well I can't pass any judgment considering I did the same." I answered carefully as I looked at Giuseppe, who was leaning against a door frame down the hall a bit. I didn't know how he would receive me considering I was the person who broke his son's heart. He took a few steps forward and my body tensed in anxiety. The wrath never came, only a small reassuring smile.

"Relax Elena, I'm not angry with you." He stated matter of factly.

"Why not? You have every right to be." I asked. I wish someone would yell at me and tell me I was wrong, I was sick of people telling me I did the right thing if that's how I really felt. I deserved to be hated.

"Because you don't see what I see. Putting aside whatever altercation you two had, you don't see the growth each of you has made. With Damon it's small things. Like how much he smiles now, even when you aren't around, he's just happier. More balanced, he's learned to be selfless and that more often than not, other people will always come first. Not to mention that he actually speaks to me now." He scoffed and then continued. "But it's you that I see the most drastic changes in Elena. You're more open, receptive to others. You don't walk on egg shells anymore, whatever demons you had, you confronted and you've finally moved on. You've become an even stronger woman because of it. And I'm sure your parents are proud to have a daughter like you Elena, in whatever you choose to do in life. Because even as a host parent, I couldn't be more proud of you. You're an adult, you can make your own choices, and you're a fantastic woman Elena. And whatever you did I'm sure it was for a good reason." He finished.

"He didn't tell you?" was all I could muster up, my brain was still scrambling to process everything he said.

"No. And honestly I don't want to know. It's between you kids. But I mean this when I say it Elena, you are the best thing that's ever happened to him and if he lets you go off easy I'll be shocked, because I may not have raised that kid the way my wife would have, but I didn't raise him to be an idiot." He said seriously.

"How can you be so good to me after everything I've done?" I ask guiltily.

"Like I said, the improvements overshadow the mistakes. You're family Elena." He says with a small smile. I close the short distance between us and wrap my arms around him as I stand on my toes. He stiffens for a second, probably for being caught off guard but then gently pats my back. I pull back and smile a watery smile at him.

"You don't give yourself enough credit Giuseppe, you raised two fantastic men in less than optimal circumstances. You are a far better parent than most. I don't know how to thank you for all you have done for me." I say tearfully. He frowns back at me and in the lighting it looks as if his eyes might be tearing up, but I tell myself it's just a glare.

"Have a safe trip back to America Elena. Our door is always open for you." He said with a knowing smile as he walked down the hallway and disappeared into another room. I smiled, he didn't say home. I walked into my room and assembled the remaining luggage against the wall; each was stuffed to capacity and sealed up completely. I decided to do one quicker sweep of the room before I called it a night. I skimmed through desk drawers and looked under my bed, in the closet and in the bathroom for anything else I could have missed. I couldn't help the feeling that I was missing something really obvious, but the room was clean. The only things left out was my purse, a pair of shoes, an outfits and my carryon for the next morning's flight. And as I sat in my bed for the last night in Italy and flicked off the lights, I wished he was beside me.

**THE NEXT DAY; **

We stood at the place I had met Stefan what seemed like years ago, in actuality it was only months. My first interaction with a Salvatore, we both were so excited to either be meeting somewhere new or to be somewhere new. Stefan flashed me a smile, seeming to remember the same thing.

"Well this is poetic. Saying goodbye from the same place we said hello." I joked, trying to hold back my tears. Stefan smiled and pulled my luggage up on the belt for me.

"Thanks Stefan, you don't know how much this means to me" I sigh trying to hold back the tears that fill my eyes for the umpteenth time today.

"Oh please! It's no sweat Elena. You're family." He shrugged, unphased. "I'm happy to do it, although this shouldn't be my job to do." He growled.

"I'm sorry by the way, how everything went down. I'm really sorry. He should have been here to see you off, selfish bastard." He says his sympathy turning sour. Even at the mention of him my body responded, I stiffened. I wasn't surprised Stefan was torn up about his brother's and my less than good departure. But the last thing I wanted was to create a rift between brothers.

"Don't be bitter with him Stefan. It's my fault. He just needs his brother right now, if you can't do it for him I ask you do it for me. He needs you right now, whether he admits it or not… I'm going to miss you Stef." I say, no longer being able to contain my tears. It was like he was part of my family, like I had gotten one more brother. He was so caring and sweet, I'd miss him so much.

"You're practically my brother Stefan." I laugh through my tears. A small as smile appears on his face before he envelops me in his arms and gives me a warm embrace, squeezing me tightly. I smile through my tears and kiss him on his cheek.

"I'll watch out for him Elena, don't worry." He whispers against my hair. "Don't be a stranger Elena; you have my number if you want to talk. And you are welcome to come home anytime." He said knowingly. God how I wish this actually was my home.

Home. Being with the Salvatore's was the closest thing to home I have ever felt since my parents died, maybe even before that, it just felt right. But here I was being taken out of my element again. Correction; taking myself out of my element. _You're doing this to yourself Elena. This is your choice_ I think.

"Same goes to you and Da..." It was too painful to say his name; it was like a sharp claw scratching at the surface of my heart. I clear my throat and practically whisper.

"Your brother. I'll show you how the American's do it, we'll get a burger and drink beer or something." I smiled sadly. I check my watch and sure enough I needed to get moving, god knows how long it would take to get through security and customs. I sigh before wiping a few stray tears out of my eyes and saying my final goodbye to Stefan.

"Thank you so much Stefan. I'll talk to you soon." I promise. He nods his head.

"If you don't call me when you get in safely my dad will send out a search party. I'll hear from you in a few hours?" he asked. I nodded my head.

"Love you Elena. We'll all miss you so much." He kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back, something I remember my dad doing whenever I was upset. I pulled away from him and with a few more tears I wave goodbye.

I take a deep breath and turn my back on part of my family. As I walked away I turned my back on Stefan, I turned my back on him too. The man I loved, the man I would do anything for, including leaving him because I was no good. He didn't believe that I loved him; I had never said the words, but if he was to believe one thing I hoped that it was I did it because it's what's best for him. If only I could see him again, stare into his fathomless blue eyes for another moment, taste his lips one more time, hear his silken voice call my name.

"Elena." A voice calls loudly on cue and I spin around in shock. But it's not the voice I long to hear, not the voice that melts me into a puddle. Stefan is rushing towards me again, practically jogging; I take a few steps to meet him, worried now.

"Stefan what's wrong?" I ask. My brows furrowing in concern, my palms start to sweat.

"I forgot to give you this." He breathes and produces a thick envelope from his jacket. I take it from his hands and examine it; it had only one word on it, scrawled in delicate handwriting. _Elena_

I look up at Stefan questioningly even though I knew damn well who it was from; I would know that handwriting anywhere.

"It's from him. Did you really think he would let you leave without something dramatic happening?" Stefan asks with a small smirk.

"Thank you." I say as I slip it into my blazer pocket where it sits like a brick. I reach on my tippy toes and give him one final hug before disappearing into the security lines, not looking back. The whole process goes by in a blur; I'm far too distracted by the gentle nudge of the envelope against my side to care much about anything else. I hand the customs agent my passport and look around me. My fingers drum mindlessly against the table top as I catch myself in the reflection. I hold back a sob at the girl I see. She's perfectly normal on the outside; she looked like any other person. But I saw deeper than that, I saw who she really is. Empty.

There weren't even any chunks of her left, no traces at all. She had shattered in the barn that night, all over the floor as she watched the man she so desperately loved pour out his heart to her, she lied. She tried to make it easier for him, because it was easier to be hated, it was easier to lie and take the easy way out then it was to fight. She had left him to clean up the shards, only it was irreparable, because she, because I would never be whole without him. I had scattered my pieces all over Italy, a reminder that I don't deserve the best of what life had to offer.

I mutter a small thanks to the officer, struggling to keep my tears at bay. All I could think about was his face when I told him I didn't love him. He looked so broken, so hurt and it tore away at my insides. How his face fell, that look haunted me in every dream. Every time I slept in the past few days, my nightmares have woken me up. But it's not mason who haunts me, it's my own words and his face.

I uncharacteristically board the plane early and sink into my leather chair in first class. The seat next to me is empty and I keep praying that somehow he will materialize beside me. But any weak thread of hope still dangling was severed as the door was shut. I should have known better than to hope he would show up, I barely slept last night thinking of all the possibilities he would pop up and what I would say to him. More often than not, it ended with me coming back after graduation, because I knew if I saw him again I would cave.

The seat next to me would remain empty for the flight. So I leaned back into the seat and closed my eyes for a moment, only when I woke up for takeoff, I wasn't surrounded by warmth and love. I was met by an empty cold chair of where Damon should be. I don't know why I had felt hope, in the airport I thought he would show up. But why would he?

The captain dimmed the lights and soon enough the cabin was filled with silence. The weight of the letter burned in my pocket like an ember and I couldn't wait any longer. I pulled it out of my blazer pocket and sat it on my thighs. The cream card stock was smooth and unscathed, not even crinkled on the edges. I pick up the heavy envelope and try to slow my breaths, which are becoming shallow. My hands shake nervously as I anxiously flip it over and slide my finger along the top of it, effectively opening it.

I stare at the broken seal with hesitation. I take a few more deep breaths before looking back down at it and removing the sheet of paper stuffed in the envelope. His artful cursive scrawl litters the page and even his hand writing makes my heart ache.

_**Elena,**_

_**I'm not writing this to rehash the feelings that you found so nauseating the first time. I'm not writing this to beg you to come home to me or to let me join you, despite the fact that I would beg on my knees for you to do so, I'm not going to ask you for that. Even I can't allow myself to be that's elfish, even when it comes to you. **_

_**No, if you are reading this it's because I couldn't bring myself to see you again, I was too cowardly. Instead of doing this the right way, I'm writing this as a final goodbye because I'm too much of a prick to be able to see you again. My version of a clean break I guess. First off, I wanted to apologize. And I began writing this letter with every intention of doing so, but now I don't think I will. Because I'm not sorry. I honestly don't regret a second of what we had together, whatever you want to label it as, even if you recall it as a mistake. I don't regret kissing you, I don't regret opening myself up to you, I don't regret falling in love with you, and I don't regret asking you to marry me. What I do regret is not being enough to anchor you, but I should have known that from the beginning, because the truth is no matter the changes I make I'll never be good enough for you. I'm surprised I was enough to hold you for as long as I did, the truth is I don't deserve you Elena.**_

_**Some days I think I hate you, I wish I could wipe you from my memory, that you would be stripped from my life for leaving me, for leaving me less than functioning without my livelihood. But the anger, it doesn't last for long, I always think of that smile, the smile that could melt anyone, my father's heart, me. I know you think I'm angry, I won't lie to you Elena, that first night I was furious. Chalk it up to my ego I guess, but I couldn't believe it. But I know that it's the right thing to do. But I'm not now, I promise you that. No hard feelings. There is no way I could ever stay mad at you. Being away from you has been torture and knowing that if you are reading this I didn't have the balls to see you again before you left makes it that much worse. I'm okay right now, as okay as I can be. But really it's the same thing I had been worried about since we got together, not being enough for you. I had come to terms with it and decided a long time ago that if that time would come I would do the noble thing and let you go, but when that time came I couldn't. I still can't. What is being bitter going to solve? Nothing. That's why in writing you this, closure. We all make choices in life, they define us, they make us who we are. They are the structure for our character. I just wish you happened to be more selfish, and that's selfish of me to say, but you already knew that.**_

_**I see you everywhere. I feel the ghost of your touch. Thinking about you hurts. I avoid the places that are saturated with your memory. I can't stand to sleep in my bed and feel the coldness of the sheets where you should be. I can't take that when I opened my eyes this morning, my arms lay limp and aren't wrapped around you pulling you to my chest, feeling your skin against mine. And every now and then I touch a shirt or pillow and I'm assaulted by your scent, it stuns me every time. I walk around haunted by the memories of you. **_

_**I respect your choice Elena, I won't contact you again I just needed you to have some closure. I hope you get the best out of life, I honestly do. I want you to get everything that you want out of life, I want you to meet a nice guy, who makes you feel good, I want you to get married and have a bunch of beautiful babies, I want you to have success in your job and every other facet in your life. I want you to be selfish; I want you to be you. I want you to find happiness, whether one day it is with me or whatever lucky bastard you find, I want that for you. And I didn't get that before, but I do now, even if it's not with me.**_

_**And I know it's in your nature to worry about everyone and everything, but I don't want you to worry about me. I'll be okay Elena, somehow I will be. I've sworn myself off of women for a start, what's the point when someone over 6,000 miles away has your heart? I may not have been give you want out of life, but at least I can give you that.**_

_**Well I guess I should say goodbye for now. And thank you, thank you for changing me. For helping my relationship with my father and getting back to the real me again. Good luck in wherever life takes you. **_

_**I'll always be waiting the wings Elena, I'm yours Elena, you will always have that piece of me, and you'll always have that shard. **_

_**P.S- Keep the ring, it wouldn't do a justice to my mother's memory on anyone else's finger. **_

_**Damon**_

Tear drops spilled onto the page, making the ink run and create blotches. When I didn't think I could hate myself anymore I picked up the envelope only to have something fall in my lap. It was the ring, the ring he had proposed to me with. In that moment, I wished I was dead. I slid the ring onto my finger and cried silently. Thank god the lights were off. I looked out the window next to me, hiding my face.

I watched as the plane climbed higher and higher and how the green farmland dissipated into cities only to be covered by a thick blanket of wispy clouds. It was no use trying to talk myself out of crying, so instead I let it flow continuously and focused on pitying myself.

I often forgot that I did this myself, that it wasn't another twist of the universe, I instigated it. And with that realization, my self-pity turned to self-loathing. I was the source of my own pain, but more importantly his pain. It was my choice, and that's something I had to deal with for the rest of my life. Choice. The word rang in my head. Choice. Choice, sacrifice, mistakes. I reach into my bag and grab my notebook and pen and write 'grad speech' at the top of the paper. On the next line I write only one sentence.

_We all make choices in life, they define us, they make us who we are._

_**Wahhhh. He didn't see her again, this even sucked to write but don't you worry, we are on our way folks. **_


	37. Some Doors Closed, Others Forced Open

_**This chapter skips around kinda a lot so sorry, but I think it shows the fragments the characters are currently in, also I'm adding a new bit to the storyline that I came up with as I was writing the beginning to this chapter with the whole diary thing, it was a complete writing improvisation as was most of the story, but let me know if you like it because I have some interesting ideas for using the diary. Let me know your thoughts!**_

_**Thanks for reading!**_

**Damon POV{ pickup from last chapter}**

I slid in a few cars behind the black Mercedes inconspicuously and carefully watched as Stefan and Elena stepped out. Christ she was a sight for sore eyes. But she didn't look herself. It took every semblance of self-preservation for me to not run out and scream her name, kiss her and beg her to stay. I wanted to jump out of the car and kiss and hold her and apologize. I wanted to hear her voice, see her eyes clear so I wouldn't be haunted by the last time I looked into them, tear filled and hopeless. She's holding herself differently, she's stooped over a bit and not even a smile passes through her expressions. _Maybe she's as destroyed as I am._ I think, trying to hold on to some hope even though she made it clear I wouldn't be missed when she left. But I just can't stay away, hence me semi stalking her at the curb of the airport right now. Five days apart and I was suffering, the marathon hadn't even started yet.

Stefan unloads the bags and pulls a few up to the baggage check on the curb, after a few minutes they make their way inside. I quickly get out of my car and cross the street, narrowly avoiding being hit by a cab and walk into the terminal. I do my best to blend in with the people around me as I watch her concealed from view.

I continue the internal battle I've been fighting for days, should I do something or just let her go? I've made it this far. I followed them to the airport, if I don't do it now I'm an idiot. How should I approach her? What if she shoots me down again? I run through a hundred possible scenarios in my head, all ending with even more heartbreak. She and Stefan suddenly stop in the middle of the terminal and talk. She looks a little upset and fake smile's her way through whatever she is saying. I can still read her like a book, but Stefan seems unfazed by the subtle changes I see in Elena, because let's be honest. Nobody knows Elena like I do, in every sense.

Stefan smiles indulgently at her and takes her in his arms and squeezes her. A wave of rage rolls through my body, I'm jealous of my own brother. He gives her a small peck on top of her head before parting with her with a sad smile on his face. He struts off in the opposite direction coming pretty close to me, but I can't tear my eyes away from her and at this point I don't care if he sees me. All I can think about is that this might be the last time I ever see her, and she's walking away from me.

Stefan suddenly stops and pivots in the other direction running now. He calls out her name loud drawing the attention of other travelers and she turns, spinning a wave of chestnut hair with her. Her face looks almost, hopeful? I allowed myself to think it was me she was hoping would show up for her, me who would kiss her in the middle of a crowded airport and take her home, to our home.

But it was Stefan who called out her name; he continues running until her meets her. I slowly walk a little closer so I can watch them; I stay hidden by a kiosk. He stops right in front of her and pulls something out of his pocket and hands it to her. Her face goes pale and her face looks up at him questioningly, it's the letter.

_Go to her_. I think but my feet don't move. I stay lost in the sea of people, standing solitary as I let my entire future turn and walk away from me, and this time, she didn't come back.

**ELENA POV [ FOUR DAYS AFTER DEPARTURE]**

I'm awake again. And I don't feel right. It's not right in this bed, not in this house, not even in this country. I let myself believe for the first few nights it wasn't the nightmares why I was waking up, only the time change, but I knew better. And I'm not surprised honestly, the nightmare's had ceased for a while, if I'm being honest with myself, I didn't have any when I slept with him. Maybe it was the guilt that was eating me alive and the only way to deal with it was punishing myself, I knew I didn't deserve a full night's sleep, not after what I did to him. I was back in my apartment; I've been home for almost four days now. But not all of me is here, any improvement I had made in Italy stayed there. I came back even more damaged than when I left. Jenna, Jeremy and Bonnie were so happy to see me and I could barely muster up a smile. Even when I could finally forget about him for a minute, someone would ask me a question about that guy I met in Italy, or about the people I met, even the sounds of a frying pan sizzling and the smell of tomato sauce set me off. And I told the people closest to me about him, I did. But something's I needed to keep to myself, for my own sanity. And every time I was reminded of his smile or saw the color of his eyes in the sky, my heart stopped. Only for a second, but enough to make me feel like it was my last breath. I had diverted back to my ways of fake smiling and claiming I was okay, I was the furthest thing from okay. I sickened myself. Anytime I walked by a mirror I looked at the person I became and cried, which is why any mirror is conveniently stored in my closet. They say mirrors are windows into a person's soul, and when you look into it you see who you really are. I saw someone not worthy of happiness, on the same level of Mason Lockwood, a monster who causes nothing but excruciating pain to everyone around them.

I lied through my teeth to Jenna and Bonnie, I said that he and I left as friends, and would visit one another eventually. I told them he and I were on good terms and we spoke every few days. If only that were true, I figured it would be best to give them a sesame street version versus reality TV. I didn't even flinch as I lied to them, I felt guilt, but I was so used to lying by now. I might as well but them to ease with my lies. And when people asked me why I was less talkative than usual I would blame it on the jetlag, the time change, anything. But fake jet lag can only last for so long.

It was my apartment, but it wasn't my home. The smell wasn't right; it smelled of what is probably mold, not of leather. My bed wasn't mine; it was cold, and smelled only of me. None of these things mattered, it was him that mattered. He had changed any routine I had, infiltrated every normalcy and now that's all I knew. I had to learn how to live without it now, without him. So when I woke up in the middle of the night screaming into my pillow, I didn't seek anyone, I had no strong arms wrap around me or any words of comfort whispered in my ear. So like I had done before him, I started naming the simple facts about myself I knew.

_I am Elena Gilbert. My parents and exboyfriend are dead. I think Jeremy is doing drugs again. I'm graduating from college in a few weeks. I'm in America now. And I made the biggest mistake of my life._

That calmed me down a little, the more I accepted my reality, the easier it would be. At least I hoped it would. The room was dark and I knew it was probably sometime in the middle of the night. I stare at the black ceiling for minutes before deciding to flip on the light on my night table. I squint at the brightness and reach under my mattress to where I had made a habit of placing my diary. It had been my saving grace, the only place I could actually get things off my chest. That was until him. When I started confiding in him, there was no need anymore, I told him everything. It lost its personability, it remained only for the things I couldn't tell him, like how much I loved him. My fingers poke between my mattress and I find nothing. So I gently roll off of the bed and inspect, there's nothing there. I walk to my desk and open the drawers, looking for the small, leather covered book that was me in entirety, but nothing was there. I started panicking slightly as I tore apart my room looking for my journal. I checked everywhere, drawers, empty luggage, olds bags and I found nothing. I tried to remember where the hell I had it last when I remembered, I never packed it. It was sitting under my bed in Italy, every thought important enough for me to document, every confession and desire was written in that book, and it was in the Salvatore's home. I felt myself grow nauseous. I had thought that I Damon was finally clear from me; if anyone found my diary it would have disastrous consequences. I quickly rush to the bathroom and get violently sick. I lean against the cool porcelain of the bathtub and wonder what Damon is doing right now, and pray for his sake he doesn't find my diary.

**DAMON POV ( Seven days since departure)**

My hands sift through the paperwork in front of me, and before I can make any excuses I sign my name and shove it into an envelope and seal it.

"_Carpe Diem" _her voice echoes in my head, that's the only encouragement I need.

I quickly address it to _The Tuscan Cooking Academy _and place it in the mailbox. I make my way back into the kitchen and sit on the stool, the stool she so often would slump in and just watch me cook in silence with a content smile on her face. Even its chair pad was worn from her constant use, if it didn't hurt so much to think about her I would have smiled. I rested my face against the cool marble and closed my eyes, trying to fight off the memories that rushed into my brain just at a glance at something unimportant.

Stefan walks on egg shells around me, thinking I'm going to lash out. I do, at my father, but his new found patience with me prevents any relief. I wish someone would just fight with me like she would, passionately. But I should know better, there was no pain killer strong enough to numb me, no fight vicious enough to help my frustration and not enough alcohol in the world to forget her smile, her softness, her scent.

How the smallest things trigger memories, I don't know. But I'm drowning in them all over the house. My eyes always stray to her bedroom door, half expecting for her to walk out of it. And like the masochist I am, I relish in the memories. Letting them consume me, and spit me out worse than I already was. I yawn and pull myself out of the chair, deciding it was time for me to retire. I trudge up the stairs and walk the hallway that looked normal. Everything looked normal, but felt wrong. Like it was a mirage, it seemed like normalcy, unscathed, but it wasn't tangible, because nothing felt right anymore. There wasn't any laughter in the house anymore, there were no muddy running sneakers sitting in the mudroom, there was no light coming from the crack under her door, the house even seemed darker. And in a moment of strength, or maybe weakness, for the first time since she left, my hand grasped the cold metal of the door handle to her room. I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I took a breath and pushed it open. I flicked the light switch on and I was shocked, it looked anything but normal. The furniture was there, but it wasn't the same room. The pictures stuffed in the mirror and every other surface possible was now only abandoned space. The books stacked on her night table looked like they were never there. The hairbrush and makeup that usually littered the vanity was spotless. Not even a strand of chestnut hair of her's was left behind. I walk around touching the furniture with my fingertips looking for any traces of her. I even dropped onto the bed that she made and smelled the sheets, but they were clean and smelled only of detergent, she couldn't even leave me that comfort.

I need just one possession, just a piece of evidence that she was here once. Just one thing and I was determined to get one. I open her closet door and enter, it's spotless. I go back into her room and open the drawers of her dresser looking for anything, but they are all empty. The more I look for something of hers the less I find. I feel the white hot rage gnawing up at me, not at her. Never at her. At myself, at the situation, at the fact that I wasn't enough, at the fact that I had nothing to remember her by.

I stomp across the floor to her bedside table and look through the drawers, getting more desperate and angry every moment I find nothing. My breath is coming in small pants now as my frustration grows. I slam the drawer closed with too much force and the small table flips, the delicate glass lamp on top of it tumbles to the floor and shatters into a million pieces. That only adds to my anger, and with nothing left to break but mirrors around me I shove her mattress with both hands, tipping it of the bed frame in rage. The mattress hits the ground with a soft thud and I collapse on the floor in a heap of anger. A strange smack sound echoes off of the wood. I turn to the source of the sound, which appears to come from under the bed frame. I temporarily pause my temper tantrum and investigate. I go to my knees and then onto my stomach and look under the bed. A small book sits solitary on the wood. I reach out and grab it and pull it out into the light. And sure enough, it is a small book, leather wrapped with a clasp. I flip it over curiously and find no clues to what it is. Without hesitation I open it up and I feel my face distort as I read the first few words written in neat handwriting on the first page.

_Dear Diary, _

_Today will be different. It has to be, I will smile and it will be believable. The smile will say 'I'm fine, thank you. Yes. I feel much better. I will no longer be the sad little girl who lost her parents, or the unfortunate woman who narrowly escaped her murderous boyfriend with her life. I will start fresh. Be someone new, that's the only way I'll make it through. My first day in a new place, a new country. The plane is finally descending, I'm excited, nervous but above all I have this weird feeling that something going to change. Like something big is going to happen." _

I slam the book closed as I struggle to piece together everything. I've seen this book before. Often I would catch Elena writing in it diligently on the window seat, every time she would snap it closed when I walked in and sit on it. She thought she was stealthy but I saw it. I gasp as it finally clicks that I have HER diary. The thing that she tells her darkest secrets that she wouldn't dream of saying to anyone else. I practically feel the power of having the item in my hand. My anger had dissipated now, left only by confusion. I have two choices, burn it. Let everything go on as the world intends it to, or read it. Which posed the question, I found it. And as a proclaimed fatalist I can't help but to think there is a reason I found it. With another deep breath and prayer that what I was doing was right, I opened the book again and immersed myself in reading.

"_Like something big was going to happen. I figured I should use the parting gift gave me as my new diary, it being a 'new chapter' in my life and all. The pun is not lost on me and for some reason it's actually really funny to me right no. Maybe it's because I haven't more than ten hours combined in the past week. I don't know why but every night has been getting consistently worse. The nightmares are so real, I wake up gasping for air like I was still trapped in the car in the lake or even worse I wake up with my ribs aching, curled into a ball waiting for Mason to deliver the next blow. Well the plane is descending and the flight attendant just asked me to put up the tray table, I'll finish my entry tonight. Wish me luck with the Salvatore's for some reason I feel like I'll need it."_

The writing cut off just after that and for the first time in more than a week a feel a genuine smile grace my lips, it was like her talking directly. Hearing all the things I never had the chance to, and I couldn't get enough. I continued on in suspense. The next entry continued on the same page after a space of few lines.

"_Shit has already hit the fan. I would break something right now but it's my first day here so I think I'll just write."_

I smirk as I think of what she must be referring to, her anger is present on the page. The ink is much darker on this part of the page from her pressing down on it so hardly, there are even small holes punctured through the paper where she pressed too hard.

"_For the sake of writing chronologically I'll save my ranting for the proper part of the story. Let me start from when I landed. I was glad to finally get out of the plane I had spent almost nine hours contained in, I was finally here. I had been waiting years to do this, and after everything that happened last year, I didn't know if I would actually get to get my semester abroad, but here I am. I have persevered. I thought that nothing could ruin my good mood, I was wrong. It was ruined only hours later. After finally locating baggage claim which was where I was supposed to meet Stefan, I finally found them. He and his driver were holding a sign that said my name. Driver, I know right? Drive your own damn self-lazy ass."_

I laughed loudly at her uncensored thoughts. She was so raw, and reading this was like being with her, I wasn't in pain. I was at ease.

"_Stefan is gorgeous. Tan, tall, green eyes, muscular and really sweet. I was beginning to feel like things would be okay here. If his welcome was any indication. The one thing I can say for Stefan is that he talks far much more than I can listen and he has a tendency to pry, and I wasn't exactly auctioning off my deepest darkest secrets that he wanted to know about. I did my best to politely steer the conversation away from myself and asked about him, he talked about himself for the next hour. I'm making a note here that if I ever need to get out of conversation, just ask Stefan about himself and I'll be safe."_

I couldn't help but frown as she was talking about how much she liked Stefan when I knew what she would write about me first, but I still continued.

"_We finally got to the house after a long drive in the country, and let me tell you, it's beautiful. It isn't a house, it's a mansion. Even from the outside I loved it, it looked like a house lived in by generations. A house that had memories, its occupants undoubtedly had their fights, but there was doubt that whoever lived in the house had made memories in it. And somehow its exterior reflected that. It's rustic and exactly what you picture when you think of an Italian Villa. The inside is just as gorgeous, yes the floors are scratched and the stair's carpet is worn out in particular spots but it just added to the charm. I loved old houses. So naturally after cleaning up a bit, I started to explore. I walked out through the backdoor and instantly liked what I saw. I decided I would spend a lot of time out here this summer, it was so naturally beautiful. There was a small walk leading off to I don't know where but I decided to walk over the grassy hill. After a while I found a small garden, it reminded me of my mothers and instantly made me happy. God how I miss them. I really was enjoying myself until he came. I thought he was a worker, had I known he was the son of the man letting me into my house I wouldn't have spoken to him like I did. Who am I kidding? I still would have said what I did. He just infuriated me! Insulting me! "You probably couldn't afford it'. I don't know how I didn't punch him honestly. _

_He was the devil personified. Stefan looked like a leper next to him; he was the best looking person on the planet by far. His pale milky skin offset by that mass of black hair on his head, only to be outdone by eyes I didn't know could ever be that blue. If that's what eve saw in the garden of Eve now wonder why she hopped on that. I didn't know someone could be so beautiful. And that smirk, if lips weren't already enough, he smirked at me. But like most devil's he spoke, bated, made me feel like shit and had me so mad I was debating kicking someone's ass I had just met. I stomped back to the house only to go back to dinner to find him again cooking, and guess who he was introduced as Stefan's brother Damon. Damon and Damien are suspiciously close; I still think he is the devil's spawn. And to make things worse, he is such a good cook. I felt his eyes on me for the entire meal, and even though he was probably gazing at me with contempt, my body still caught fire from his gaze. And when he addressed me and my eyes met his crystal one's I knew he would be my downfall one way or another. I would either end my stay in Italy with a murder charge or in love with the man, there is no third door."_

The entry ended suddenly. My mouth was agape, my body burned. I read the last sentence a third time and one more for good measure before closing the book in shock. She had felt it too. She had known just as I had, that it was inevitable. Something would happen between us. At the time I thought she would be another notch on my bed post, but looking back I had more intuition than I originally thought, it was always going to be her and I. There was no third door.

I stood up from the floor with the diary in my hand and righted the mattress and lifted the night table upright. I had gotten far more than I had wished for, I had gotten every thought she couldn't articulate, every insecurity, and every want, written in her script. I had found something of hers finally.


	38. Father Figures

**I like the idea of the diary because Elena is narrating the story, we hear and watch things play out according to her but even she doesn't share everything. I know some of you don't like the idea of Damon reading Elena's diary but it is a necessary evil, and think of it from Damon's POV, he honestly doesn't think he will see the love of his life ever again, and to find something where she pours he heart out about EVERYTHING was too tempting.**

**ANYWHO; THIS CHAPTER HAS LOTS OF DIALOUGE AND SKIPS AROUND A SHIT TON SO SORRY,**

**PS I suck at writing speeches sorry**

**ENJOY**

_"I felt safe and carefree when I was with him."_

_"He makes me... Happy."_

_"I don't remember a time feeling more alive."_

_"He's making it easier. I don't wake up scared for what's going to happen that day. Mason is nothing but a passing thought when I'm with Damon."_

_"He consumes me. Everything about him, his passion, his shyness, that smile. I feel senile around him, everything else is a blur and he is clear as day."_

_"I'm falling in love."_

Word after word her writing bounced around in my head. I was so confused. So fucking confused. And happy, was this happy? Nowhere near as happy as I was with her, but I was okay because it was almost like I was with her. But I have no idea what to do with this information. Did she love me? Did she lie? Why would she do that? A hundred questions fired around in my brain before I sat up in my bed and flicked the light on, there was no way I would be sleeping well tonight. It was rounding on two weeks since she has left, and she's been in my thoughts every moment. I pull the small diary out of my drawer and open it up, pushing aside the massive wave of guilt and remorse for reading her diary. I knew it was wrong, I did. I knew it was a gross invasion of privacy, but I couldn't stop. It was my only standing connection to a piece of her, and I was white knuckling it.

"_It was the dream. Less like a dream, more like a flashback. The day Mason pulled a gun on me. I had innocently gotten home from my run and found him there." _

The breath caught in my throat as she went on to explain every grisly detail of that night. Something's she wrote about she had never spoke to me about, something's I remembered, vaguely at best. But this night I remember specifically. This was the night I woke up to blood curdling screams coming from her room. I rolled out of my bed and sprinted across the hallway throwing open her door and flicking on the light. The room was empty; I remember thinking someone was in the house. But she was thrashing in the bed. I just remember grasping her and calling out her name, it pained me to see her struggling so much. I think I loved her even then.

"_And then I opened my eyes. Despite the panic, in a still dazed dreamlike state, he was clear. He was the first thing I saw. He was the first thing I touched. And I latched on. Embarrassingly enough, he was exactly what I needed. In all the panic and fear, he was the calming presence that anchored me to reality. All I had to do was look in those concerned blue eyes that even in the dark smoldered down at me. He had done more for me than I could have imagined and he had no idea. I had misjudged him more than anyone else. I remember his name on my lips and that was all, not the dream, not the horrible memories, because when he was looking down at me it was too easy to forget the mess my life was. And because I have no idea what else I am supposed to do, I jump into his arms. He's not even surprised, considering I've pulled the waterworks out on him before. How could he act so kind and compassionate to me? I didn't deserve it, but I was glad for it. He was the perfect distraction for me; even just his hands rubbing soothing circles on my back gently made my body ignite. I forgot what I had just dreamt of when he tucked my head into his strong chest and cocooned me in his long arms, I was safe with him. And as if he hadn't done enough, he stayed with me. He slept in my bed with me, he held me against him and I clutched right back at him. My neediness is appalling but he was so selfless. And with the comfort surrounding me and his heat warming me like a blanket, I drifted off to sleep and asked Damon not to leave; I was long gone before I heard his answer."_

My hands shook as I snapped the journal closed. I gently placed it on the bed beside me as I ran my fingers through my hair. I remember exactly what I said, "I'll never leave you Elena." And maybe it wasn't I who had left her but that didn't change the fact that I had told her I wouldn't

I had promised her

**ELENA POV:**

Four years of hard work were ending tomorrow. Four years of stress, unsaved word documents, student loans waiting to be paid off and dare I say learning. I walked the familiar halls that had been practically my home for the past few years and snuck into Rick's office. He looked up with a bright smile on his face and set down the massive book he was reading.

"Elena come on in!" he got up and ushered me through the door.

"Hey Rick." I replied in a voice that didn't even sound like me anymore, it was disinterested and withdrawn, which is exactly what I've been since I got home.

"So what's up Elena?" he asked, settling back into his leather chair. I shrugged and pulled out a folder from my bag.

"Nothing really, I just wanted to run my speech by you really quick, just to make sure I don't embarrass myself tomorrow." I said. It would be good to have another set of eyes on my writing and it would prevent me from making a fool out of myself.

"Sure. Why not? Let's see it!" he said eagerly and extended his hand. I slipped the typed sheet his way and sat back in the chair. I twisted my fingers nervously as I stared off at some vase in the corner of his office. After a few minutes I feel his eyes on me and I self-consciously look up grimacing.

"Oh god." I worry. "it's bad, isn't it?" I ask, panicking.

"That's not what I was going to say Elena. It's good. Very good. Very insightful for someone your age. And there seems to be a lot of emotion behind it." He says peeking up at me before glancing back down at the paper. "Care to elaborate?" he asks.

_No. _"To tell you the truth Rick, I'd rather not. Sorry." I apologize. His lips twist to the side and his eyebrows crease as he looks at me.

"Elena is everything okay with you? The first few days I chalked it up to the time change but now I know for sure you aren't acting like yourself even remotely."

My hands push a chunk of hair out of my face before knotting in my lap again.

"I'm fucked up Rick." I breathed.

"Woah! Elena!" he said. It was easy to forget that he was my professor sometimes, he had become some sort of father figure to me.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

"Tell me what's eating you."

"Rick, I wouldn't even know where to begin."

**DAMON POV:**

I paced back and forth in the hallway outside of my father's office, my mind going in a million directions. If I hadn't worn out the carpet in front of his desk already, it would be gone by the end of the night. I quickly decided to just do it and knocked at the large wood door.

"Come in." My father's deep voice called out. I opened the door and didn't even bother taking a seat, I just continued my pacing, the only difference was the small audience I now had.

"Are you going to continue the walkathon or are you going to tell me your current existential crisis?" He said with a smirk. "Or maybe it's not that at all. No, maybe it's Elena? Going to America maybe?"

I stopped pacing and faced him.

"How'd you know that?"

"Been there done that. I may not be the most observational parent but I can read the signs Damon. You forget that she lived under the same roof as me as well Damon. I see how you're acting now, since she left." He cocked his head challenging me.

"I'm not going to deny that I'm a wreck if that's what you're waiting for dad." I said walking quickly around the room.

"You misunderstand me son. You know your mom left me? Didn't stop me from chasing her all over the globe. All I'm saying is I can relate." I ran my hands through my hair and shook my head.

"It's different. You knew mom loved you that was just a fight. She told me she doesn't love me dad." I said running my fingers through my hair, the pacing starting once more.

"Christ son take a seat." He said. "I spoke to her before she left Damon. The girl was a mess, a guilty wreck, it's not my place to say how she feels or not but honestly this isn't about her right now. Regardless of her, what do you want Damon?"

"Her." I spoke plainly.

"Is that it?" he asks.

Yes. There's honestly not one thing I wanted more than Elena, forever.

"Yes."

"Then why are you second guessing yourself. I let you make your own choices and make mistakes, but I've had enough of it now. Step up and go get her. This girl is everything you want and everything you want a future with. I thought I taught my boys to go after what they want, despite the possible outcomes. She's the best thing that has ever happened to you and if you let her slip through your fingers you are a dumbass." He said with his lips pursed and head slightly cocked. That was probably the longest time my father had spoken in his entire life.

"My flight leaves at two. I'll call you when I get in." I said hurrying out of the room.

"There's my boy." He chuckled. "Bring her home Damon…" He said with a smile. Even he wanted her back. With a final pep talk I ran up the stairs and started packing immediately.

**ELENA POV:**

"Well Fuck." Rick said as he sat back against his chair. I smiled at the irony before I shook my head and agreed with him.

"I know." I said resting my head in my hands. God I wished he was here. I missed him so much. I was barely functioning without him, I was hooked and going cold turkey was taking a huge toll on my body and mind.

"Why'd you do it Elena? If you loved the guy and he loved you, you were happy there! Why didn't you say yes?" he asked with a small frown.

"It's not that easy Rick, I wish it was but it isn't. It's not just a yes and no. I had to be practical, as much as I wanted to play the selfish card for once I knew I couldn't. It's not realistic; I can't give him what he needs. Because I'm not a whole person, I'm not capable of being…"

"Elena, come on. I know you, I know that's not what this is about. Sure it's common knowledge you have a master's degree in self-loathing, but you are using this Damien kid as an excuse. This is about you isn't it?" he asks. His green eyes concerned. I sat quietly in the chair for a while thinking things through, yea I didn't feel worthy.

"I know Rick it's just, I know it's ruining everything good I have going for me. I just don't know how to get past thinking that I don't deserve to be happy and normal. I know what's wrong with me, but there isn't exactly a five-step program for my situation."

He ran his fingers through his sandy blonde hair and shook his head back and forth a bit before meeting my eyes with a slight smile.

"I think the best thing you can do for you right now is forgive yourself. You need to understand that your parent's deaths weren't your fault Elena. It was chance; it was in no way your fault Elena. And same with Mason, he was a deranged boy Elena, a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off. You can't go through life harboring this resentment for yourself; you might have lost your only chance of happiness because of it. Nobody else can do it; it has to be something you decide to do for yourself." He finished looking at me thoughtfully.

"When did you get so old and wise Rick?" I asked smiling.

"Since I put a little bourbon in my morning coffee." He said cheerfully taking a swig from his mug. I chuckled at him.

"You'd like Damon, he's a Bourbon drinker. You'd like his humor." I said.

"Well why don't you go to Italy and drag his ass back and we'll get to find out." He shrugged.

"If I ever do that you'll be the first to know. Thanks Rick. See you tomorrow?" I asked getting up from the chair and walking to the doorway.

"No problem Elena. I'll see ya there kiddo." He waved as I slid out of the room.

_**The next day:**_

I stared at myself in the mirror and frowned. This was freaking weird; I pushed my hair off my face and looked at myself once more in the mirror before grabbing my speech and shoving it in my clutch. I walked back out into the den where Jaime and Bonnie were already dressed in their graduation garb. They both smiled brightly at me and quickly ushered me out the door. The campus was very busy today, families running around trying to get pictures of all their son's and daughter's entrances on camera. I smiled sadly as I thought of how my parents shouldn't be here, _but that wasn't my fault_. I thought smiling; I was getting better at this.

Its strange how four years of work came down to one two hour ceremony, it was surreal that it was over. I would have to find an actual job, eventually my own house and move on with my life, I still felt like a kid. I nervously crinkle my speech in my hands as my row is finally seated. Graduation drags on an hour before I really start feeling vomit worthy nervousness. And when I see Rick stand up from his seat on the side of the stage and make his way to the large podium I instantly feel like I'm going to shit myself. His deep voice echoes loudly from the speakers.

"Our foreign language program is being represented by a very bright young woman fluent in English, Bulgarian as well as Italian. She just recently had the privilege to study abroad for six months in Italy and she is this year's selection for Duke Italian Honors Award. Ladies and gentleman, Elena Gilbert."

I took a deep breath before rising from the incredibly uncomfortable white chair and carefully side stepping the others in my isle, trying not to fall. I worked to calm my breathing as I walked up the isle towards the stage. I flipped the paper between my fingers and fidgeted slightly_. I can do this. I can do it. _ I thought as I climbed the stairs and didn't fall, success.

I stood at the podium and smiled nervously. I scanned the crowd and chuckled quietly as I saw Jenna and Jeremy waving their arms ridiculously to get my attention. I took a final deep breath before looking down at my paper.

"Good Afternoon everyone. I'm Elena Gilbert and if you haven't noticed I'm really nervous so bear with me please. The strangest thing for me today, is that I still feel like I am kid. I shouldn't have the responsibilities I do; I shouldn't have to worry about the bill's that's my dad's job." I say clearly, doing my best to keep my voice clear. The audience laughs and I'm beginning to feel more confident. My eyes scan the crowd and I see a flash of blue eyes before it's gone.

"There is always something to be wanted as a kid growing up, mostly independence. When we were young it was always a new toy to be had. We wanted to ride our bikes around the block by ourselves and dressing ourselves. But we didn't mind falling back on mom to make the bed and make our lunches. Then middle school came around, the girls wanted brand clothes and were worrying about getting their first boyfriends, we wanted to go to parties alone and have our own cell phones and do nothing in return. Leading to high school, we wanted to do everything by ourselves. We wanted car keys and to go out with our friends without curfew, which bring me to my point.

Priorities. It's something we have had since childhood, although they weren't always in order. Dinner before dessert, homework before TV. These things were dictated to us and we followed them blindly. Except for the desert one, I had a box of hostess snack cakes hidden under my bed for most of my life. But then we grew up, and things weren't so simple anymore. We were given freedoms, curfews and eventually car keys. We had to prioritize.

We were given the freedom to put one in front of the other. Boyfriend, friends, popularity and somewhere down the list was school. You could get away with it in high school, but college is different, you are forced to prioritize. If you don't you're looking at no job, no money and a not so inviting patents basement." I said, the crowd laughed again. I stopped for a second; I sucked in a loud breath and stared into the audience. I saw him. Black hair, blue eyed perfection. I quickly look away; it must be a figment of my imagination. I quickly recover and continue speaking, searching once again for who I thought I had just seen.

"After losing 2 people close to me I had obsessed myself with success in the second half of high school until the past two semesters when I had the chance to go to Italy. I expected to learn a lot, and I did. I learned trends in the Italian business markets, I learned the correct conversion of kilometers to miles, I eventually figured out steering wheels are on the right side, and you have to drive on opposite sides of the road. Also that Italian police officers are very forgiving and kind to foreigners that don't know how to drive in Europe. I also learned that Italians don't talk as much with their hands as people from Brooklyn think they do. What I didn't expect was to learn a lot about myself. I met someone there who was the opposite of what I had been taught about priorities. He had an erratic personality and a rough exterior but he lived for himself. When he wanted to do something he did so without hesitation. He channeled his passion into something he loved. My parents always told me this; we are only guaranteed two things in life, a birth and a death. The rest is up to you. However long you have on this earth, do what makes you happy. Take a chance; chase your dreams, read corny lines in your graduation speech." A loud roar of laughter encouraged me. My eyes swept the audience for any trace of me, but I found none. I guess I had imagined him. My fingers clutched at the small chain around my neck that held the ring Damon had given me.

"Carpe diem. And it took leaving home and living in Italy for it to click for me. So be ambitious, adventurous, take risks and learn from trial and error. And never pass up an opportunity. There will always be a million reasons not to do something, you only need to latch onto one good one and ride it out. So I guess what I am trying to say is success will always be there, you can always push that much further for a promotion and be that much more successful. But happiness is immeasurable. Be bold, chase what you want, don't let it slip. You have a long life ahead of you to become a CEO. Happiness should always be your first priority." I finished and smiled in relief. I did it. And I didn't fuck up! I practically beamed as I walked off of the stage to thunderous applause. If only they knew how much of a hypocrite I was, but I knew the first thing I did when I got home was going to be booking a flight to Italy, Damon was my happiness and u was going to go after him. I had turned my back on my happiness. My everything. Well I guess it took me saying those things in front of thousands of people to finally grasp the importance of my own words and actions. I needed to get him back.

Alaric gave me a wide smile as I walked by him and a proud nod. I carefully walked down the grass aisle and giggled as Jaime stuck out his hand from his aisle seat and high fived me. I uneventfully slid into my chair and breathed a sigh of relief. And instead of listening to the last speech and the name's being called, I let my mind drift to Damon. Would he take me back? Was I going to just show up on his doorstep I should I call ahead? My mind raced for minutes and when it was my turn to receive my diploma I didn't even hear my name called, the person behind me graciously nudged my shoulder. And just like that, three handshakes and a diploma later I was a college graduate. Only an hour later I watched as the hats fell from the sky like rain. I quickly grabbed the hat closest to me and made my way over to where Jenna and Jeremy were standing.

"Elena!" Jenna squealed happily. "Congratulations! That speech was awesome!" She said excitedly, her blonde curls bouncing as she jumped towards me and wrapped me in her arms.

"Thanks Aunt Jenna!" I giggled before turning to my bear of a brother who had grown at least six inches since I last saw him and had bulked up big time.

"Congratulations Elena!" he smiled before picking me up off of the floor and squeezing me.

"Jesus Jer." I choked out as he pulled me tight against him. He chuckled before safely putting me on the ground.

"Good to see you guys too, what's it been a week?" I chuckled. They were acting like they hadn't seen me in a year.

"Four days but who cares I'm excited. But it's hot as hell out here!" Jenna smiled.

"I know it's pretty gross. Do you wanna head back to the apartment?" I asked. They both nodded.

"Okay let me just go grab Bonnie and Jaime both of their families are coming back to the apartment too. I'll meet you guys there?" I ask. They both agree, give me one more hug each before heading off to the car. I watch them walk away before I rummage through my bag looking for my phone. I walk towards the fountain where Bonnie said we would meet that was off the beaten path a little bit. My finger hovered above the contact information for a minute; did I want to do this?

_Yes. Yes I did. _ I wanted to do this, so I pressed down and put the ringing phone to my ear. I walked quickly through the trees before kicking off my heels and carrying them in my hands.

"Hello Giuseppe?" I asked a bit nervous. I kept walking as the fountain came into view.

"Elena?" his voice questioned.

"Yes Giuseppe hi. Umm I was wondering is Damon there? I really need to speak to him." I asked, not recognizing my own voice, all strung up and nervous.

"Elena…" he trailed off. "He's not here." He said quietly. I frowned as I sat on the side of the fountain.

"What do you mean he's not there?" I asked, there was a slight movement in the corner of my eye who I assumed was Bonnie. I turned to greet her, the phone still glued to my ear as I awaited a response. But it wasn't Bonnie who I saw.

"Damon?"


	39. New Promise, Borrowed Phrase, Blue Eyes

**THAT'S RIGHT. AM I CRAFTY AS FUCK OR WHAT? This is my final chapter of this story, and I just want to take this time to thank you all so much for reading and following this story. I will continue writing thanks to all of your encouragement, I already have plenty of ideas I'm thinking about a few prompts I've already started writing. I'm going to try to write two separate stories, one being a Pride&Predjudice story and the others being a TVD (of course.) Thanks again for the support, **

**ENJOYYY! (*Epilogue will be up sometime soon*)**

"Damon?" my voice rung out in the silence. He stood in a white button down with black pants staring back at me. My heart pounded in my chest and my breath was fleeting, I felt like I was about to pass out. His eyes bore into mine, and despite the blood pressure spike I had from seeing him, I felt at ease. His lips pouted slightly as he took a few steps towards me.

"That was an...Interesting speech. Congratulations." He said curtly, his face emotionless.

"You're not supposed to be here!" I blurted out nervously. My eyes widening as I realized my mistake. His step falters a little bit before continuing on.

"Why not?" His silk voice growls, god how I missed his voice. His blue eyes blaze at me, but his face remains as stoic as before. I struggle to find words as I look at him. God how did I ever leave him?

"You're not supposed to be here, I was coming to you." I whisper feeling like I could cry, scream or laugh. There was no handbook for 'what to do when you leave your boyfriend from Italy that loves you and you love him but you lied about it'.

"Elena?" a muffled voice calls from the telephone I'm still holding onto.

"Giuseppe I'm going to have to call you back." I whisper into the receiver and hang up. Suddenly I feel pretty dizzy and I stagger my way back to the fountain and sit down. I close my eyes and try to convince myself that he isn't here, maybe I'm crazy. But I open one eye and sure enough he's still there, only closer. He's sitting a few feet away from me at the base of the fountain. Finally with an emotion on his face, easily identifiable, it's worry.

"What do you mean?" he asks quietly.

"I mean I was just calling you to see if I could come back. I needed to see you." I say staring at the ground, I willed my eyes not to look up at him; it would just be too much. Every nerve of my body was on edge.

"Why?" he asked. I had enough of the monosyllables, I wanted to hear him speak and see him. I opened my eyes and stared at him and quickly got to my feet pacing in front of him.

"Because….because. Because…Damon. I. I wanted to apologize." I said running a shaky hand through my hair.

"What do you have to apologize for Elena? Leaving?" He asked his voice staying low and controlled.

"NO, not leaving! I left you behind, I lied, I did everything wrong that I could have done wrong. But you know what; the one thing I'm NOT sorry for is leaving you. Because I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing by you, and I know that there is never going to be an apology that could cover the magnitude of pain I must have inflicted on you but I'm sorry Damon. I'm so so sorry." I cried, tears coming fast now. I stuttered for an embarrassingly long amount of time, all the while I was screaming I LOVE YOU in my head. Why couldn't I just say it? His eyebrows creased together and he steepled his fingers over his nose.

"I found your diary." He whispered tenitavly.

"You did." I said, prompting him. It was his turn to look at his feet as he answered.

"I read it." He practically whispered, tossing me the small leather bound book.

"You fucking what?" I practically shouted.

"I read it. And you know what I know it was wrong. But it was the closest thing I had to you, and like you, I'm not sorry for doing it."

"Is that why you're here? Because you finally got your answer?" I said, reducing into tears that clouded my vision. He didn't even get to hear me say it first, he had to read it. I wasn't even that upset he read my diary; I know I should be angry but I'm not. I'm more angry that he had found out I loved him from a book instead of me.

"I know it's wrong. I shouldn't have done it." He said frantically, looking completely defeated.

"That's not what I'm angry about." I said crossing my arms and letting the tears run down my face freely. Damon and I have never been one to hold back in a fight. He got up from his sitting position and came close enough to me that if I reached out, I could touch him. And I wanted to touch him more than anything.

"Then why the hell are you yelling at me?" He asked, his hands running through his jet black hair that threw off rainbows in the sunshine.

"You know don't you?" I accuse.

"Know what Elena?" he asked throwing his hands up. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"If you don't know why are you here?" I asked, pouting like a petulant child.

"I'm here because I promised you I'd never leave."

"No you didn't, you never promised me that." I said. Why were we arguing? He was here for me? Why was I so god damn angry?

"Yes I did Elena. I promised you that night, the first night stayed with you. You were already asleep, but I promised you Elena." He half pleaded half shouted.

"I'm here because you are the one good thing in my life that I have going for me. I'm here because you make me a better man and I make you a better woman. I'm here because if I let you slip away, there's no point. I'm here because if I don't do my best to get you back then I'm wasting my life away. Because you're my livelihood Elena." He said passionately, his blue eyes blazing. I smile through my tears as I stare back at him.

"What does that mean Damon? Where do we stand?" I ask disbelieving. There's no way he could still want me.

"It means I still love you Elena, and no time apart and nothing you can say to me will change that. Not now, not ever. But I'll respect your decision, you decide where we stand." He said softly. His hand moving up to my face and gently cupping my cheek, my head spun from the heady combination of his touch and the fact that he still wanted me.

This was it. I was going to say it. I looked at the book in my hands and threw it back at him. He caught it by reflex and looked up confused at me. This was it.

_**DAMON POV: **_

"Go to April 16th." She said in a quiet voice. I barely tore my eyes away from her long enough to look down at the book she was handing back to me. She was so beautiful, and she was standing in front of me. _She was going to come back to me that must mean something. _I think. She nodded at me with wide brown eyes swimming with tears, I wanted so badly to crush her to me and ease her pain. But I was too scared. Scared she would push me away. I had to wait for her to say yes, or say anything at all.

I flipped through the worn book quickly until I got to the entry. I looked up at her one more time, committing every detail to memory in case she ran again.

" _April 16__th__, 2013_

_Dear Diary,_

_Today was no different than the last. The trees are the same colors they were yesterday. The sky is still blue. So why is everything so different? How is it one emotion can evoke so many feelings, traits and bring small details to the surface you've never noticed. Like how the sky isn't all that blue when compared to Damon's eye's. He had the type of eyes you named crayons after. That even the color of cream didn't suit his flawless skin. Ink didn't have enough dimensions to be an accurate representation of his hair. And I practically had heart palpitations when he smiled, that smile was so rare, but he so often showed it to me. But that's not why I needed him so much. It was his compassion, his ability to put my mind to ease and his passion that finally made me realize. I lied when I said this day was no different than the rest. Because today, I figured out that in in love with Damon. I love him. And I'm scared. I love him."_

My breath hitched in my throat and the book slipped from my hands as I heard her echo the last words.

"I love you. I have loved you. I love everything about you Damon. I left because I love you, and I'm still here because I love you. I was coming back to you because I love you." She whispered staring at me with tears in her eyes. Could it be true? It had to be, this was written months ago.

I look up at her and burn; I toss the book to the side and her face in my hands. And like I had been imagining doing since I saw her up on the stage, I closed the distance between us and I kissed her perfect rosy lips.

I feel myself metaphorically back away from the ledge I've been teetering on since she has left me. Every press of her perfect soft lips against mine healed the cuts, glued back together the pieces, and made me whole again. I savored every moment, every swipe of her tongue, the taste of her, how her body molded to mine perfectly. How after all this, she did it for me. The ultimate sacrifice, not that she was right to do it, but that just spoke volumes to how much she loved me, and with that realization, I kissed her harder. She reciprocated and we fell into step like nothing had happened, we were just two people madly in love.

I pull back from her and keep my eyes closed, her company being enough. My forehead rests against hers gently.

"I love you so much." She whispers sweetly.

"I know." I steal her line and when I thought things couldn't get any better I opened my eyes and saw her laugh. I saw the way her nose crinkled and her eyes closed tightly. She was so beautiful, and now that I knew she loved me I was never going to let her go.

"So now what?" I ask, playing with a loose strand of hair and tucking it behind her ear, leaving my hand lingering at her cheek.

She laughed, and just like that she was gone and I heard a loud smack and my face stung. She slapped me? I rub my jaw slightly.

"OW! Jesus Christ what was that for?" I look at Elena who is still holding her hand up triumphantly.

"For reading my diary." She mumbled before pulling at my collar and kissing me again. She shoved me playfully. Her eyes wide with a slight sparkle and her perfect mouth pulled into a bright smile.

"Oh please you love me and my 'sarcastic wit that only I could pull off' or what was it? 'My eyes they should name crayons after'." I laughed. She only tossed her head back and laughed.

"I didn't tell you that so I you could hold it over my head for the rest of my life." She said rolling her eyes.

"The rest of your life?" I asked quietly. She smiled slightly and nodded.

"For the rest of my life Damon." She said, god I loved how she said my name. This meant she was saying yes. I laugh as I grab her and hug her tightly; I no longer try to memorize every detail, because I'll have a while to do that. For now I just appreciate it, her. The smell of her hair and the feel of her in my arms, even the thought of her being mine forever is more than I could have asked for.

"So that's a yes?" I whisper against her hair.

"Not unless you have a ring." She says seriously before reaching down her shirt and pulling up a small chain, on it my grandmother's ring. I smile, she really does love me, and she's mine. She drops it in my hand.

"Continue." She says ushering me on.

I drop to one knee and smile up at the amazing woman in front of me, knowing all too well I would fight with her later but right now was perfect.

"Elena Marie Gilbert. I promise to be your punching bag, your crying shoulder, your super glue. I promise to fight with you over stupid things, I promise to kiss you every day, I promise to love you for the rest of our lives and most importantly I promise to hold your journal over your head forever. Will you please marry me?" I asked smiling, already knowing the outcome this time around the block.

"Hell yes." She giggled. I grasped her hand and slipped the ring her finger in its rightful place and smiled up at her. She beamed back down before dropping to her knees in front of me. And I kissed her, not like this was the last time. Like there were years and years more to kiss her. So I kissed her slowly and sweetly. And that's how Elena's friends found us, on our knees at the same level, kissing one another, complete equals.

_**Later that night**_

"Hmmm let me think. The worst part was probably following you to the airport watching you hug my brother and walk away and I didn't have the courage to go talk to you." I said as I traced patterns on the skin of her naked stomach. My chin rested on the top of her head and I stared at the stark white ceiling of her bedroom. Her body was pulled tightly to mine and it was bliss. God I had missed her. Every piece of her. She giggled against my chest and twined her fingers with mine.

"That's really stupid. You know that right? If you would have come up to me I would have stayed." She said thoughtfully.

"What about you? What was the worst part?" I asked. There was no better time about to talk about what you did wrong then in bed, after perfect sex.

"Hmmm, I'd probably say the letter. As soon as I saw the handwriting I knew it was from you. I thought I had enough self-control to wait until I got back to America or maybe just not read it at all. But that lasted until takeoff. I ripped it open and cried the entire time." She said. I frowned and apologized.

"No it's okay. Because that's where I got the idea for my speech, about you obviously, and if I didn't write the speech I wouldn't realize how wrong I was. And then poof, there you were. Like clockwork. P.S, you smell like plane." She giggled.

"Well yea I do, I only got into the states an hour before your ceremony started cut me a little slack woman. Am I always going to have a strait jacket type leash or do I have to rethink my engagement?" I ask playfully missing the sound of her laugh. She giggles and burrows into my chest.

"You tell me. Do you need to be tied up?" She asked.

" Mmmm. Baby when you say it like that it sounds nice." I purred into her ear.

"Ohh shut up." She says rolling off of me slightly and throws the covers off of herself. She got up and walked over to her dresser. My eyes followed her naked form, my hands rested behind my neck as I watched her. She was really mine this time, it was starting to sink in.

"Stop gawking it's creepy." She chuckled as she turned around and slipped the large tee-shirt over her head.

"It's romantic Elena." I said in my fakest, sappiest voice. She rolled her eyes as she flopped down on the bed next to me.

"Yea sure that's what it is." She smiled and settled into my side again facing me. I turned slowly so we were face to face and smiled at her, pushing strands of hair away from her face.

"Do you think your family liked me?" I asked nervously, I knew how important their opinions were to her.

"I know they did. Jenna was in love with you just from what I had told her and the fact that you flew over 5,000 miles to see me. Plus she's a sucker for a pretty face." She smiled stroking my cheek.

"And am I pretty face?" I asked smirking. She rolled her eyes and kissed my lips softly and lovingly.

"The prettiest."

"Not possible, you're the prettiest. And Jeremy?" I asked. He seemed nice enough, a pretty good kid. He was very protective of his older sister, and I was appreciative of it.

"He's just looking out for me after Mason, that's why the whole Spanish Inquisition if you were wondering. But once you offered to play call of duty with him and Jaime you won him over." She smiled.

"Good, I'm glad." I smiled. I was so blissfully happy right now; everything that had happened up until this point had been so worth it in the long run.

"So speaking of family, how's everything going at home?" she asked. I smiled, she called it home. Everyone there missed her terribly; it was like the light from our lives left with her.

"It's a bit boring at home without you, everyone's feeling the loss. Especially Caroline, she just shows up at the house now because she has nothing else to do." I chuckle. "But everything's going well with dad, Stefan's good too."

"Good. Caroline is going to be so excited. Stefan's going to be my brother!" She says happily.

" Everyone will be thrilled, especially my father. I have a question…" I trailed off.

"Shoot." She said.

"Where do you want to get married? Here or at home? It's up to you…" I trailed off, I was honestly curious.

"Home." She whispered. That one word spoke volumes.


	40. Epilogue thank you everyone

_**I can't believe this is it, 40 chapters of a story that I thought would last ten, maybe twenty. Almost 400 reviews, over 130,000 words, 250 followers and 141 favorites. I honestly can say that I didn't expect for this story to work, have any followers or to invest as much time in it as I did. And I'm proud to say this is my first completed writing project. Thank you all so much for the continued support, you all are amazing. **_

_**Check out my new story if you have time! ( Flash Forward) **_

"I'm thinking the orchard. We'll have to do a run through of the vows before we send out the invitations so its timing is perfect during sunset. But then I guess we'll have to take into account the changing seasons and then daylight savings too." Caroline prattled on.

I was far too concerned with my finance who was sitting beside me kissing the side of my neck and nibbling at my ear while Caroline had her back turned than with whatever she was saying. I giggled as his hands found my sides and tickled me slightly.

"ELENA DAMON!" Caroline shouted. We both jumped and glared at her.

"Stop being cute and pay attention to your wedding plans." Caroline ordered. Damon pouted prettily before smirking and pressing one more kiss to the corner of my mouth before obediently looking back at Caroline with his smirk in place.

"Alright wedding planner Barbie continues." I stifled a chuckle and scooted closer to him. Caroline rolled her eyes before turning her back to us again.

"Remind me why we let her do this?" He whispers in my ear, I shivered. His blue eyes were trained on mine with a playful glint.

"Because she threatened to follow us on our honeymoon if we didn't and I'd rather not have audience for whatever we do. And she also threatened to fire me." I said with a smile, just looking at him, appreciating my fiancé. God I loved being able to call him that. Soon I would be Mrs. Salvatore. I would finally be his, and he'd be all mine.

"Mmmm that's right." He said against my hair, making me squirm against him.

"And you are very right, Mrs. Salvatore, I don't want an audience, I don't see us getting out of bed much. Unless you're into that sort of thing, I live for your **pleasure** my dear." He smirked and did that eye thing I love. My body burned from his words, he smirked back at me knowing exactly what he was doing to me.

"I'm not Mrs. Salvatore yet buddy. It's Gilbert to you. And, no. I think I want you all to myself. Now you better stop before I tell Caroline to leave and I take you home and to bed." I warned as he continued his assault on my neck.

"Hmmm. Soon enough Ms. Gilbert. And I quite like that plan, I haven't seen you naked in what like four hours? I'm going through withdrawals." He pouts. My mouth opened in shock.

"Jesus Christ Damon should I call a press conference and you can tell the whole country or do you want to just keep screaming it?" I asked as I shook my head at him. I twisted my ring around my finger and tried my best to listen to Caroline and visualize the place on our wedding day. But the details didn't matter to me, I doubt I would notice what color flowers I was holding, I'm pretty sure I won't remember the cake, even now the only thing I can think about is Damon waiting at the end of the isle for me. I guess you could say I have a one track mind when it comes to him.

And as I sat with Caroline obsessing over my wedding and Damon's hand rubbing circles on my back and his bright eyes smoldering into mine I thought of how we had even got to this point.

I was going to throw up. Everywhere, all over my nice white dress. Why was I so nervous, my feet weren't cold. They were on fire, I couldn't believe today was finally the day he became mine for the rest of my life. Maybe when we'd go out now girls would stop staring at him since he had a ring on his finger, doubtfully.

"Elena fifteen minutes, we have to start walking down soon!" Jenna shouts from downstairs, which makes me pace even faster.

My long dress drags along the hallway had walked thousands of times, sneaking into Damon's room in the middle of the night; us sprawled out in the middle of the hall reading books. I smiled as I paced past the door of my old room. Have been back in Italy, home for 6 months. It was strange how easily everything fell back into place when we got home. Caroline's offer for a job still stood and I took it. We ended up only working at the company for a month or two before we decided we could do better on our own. Caroline opened her own design studio and I took care of the business aspect's, the label just got picked up by the largest department store chain in Italy, I couldn't be more proud of Caroline.

Even on my return, there were no hard feelings. Stefan and Giuseppe welcomed me back with open arms and were both thrilled to hear about the engagement. And honestly, I thought things couldn't get any better. But the past six months have been perfect, I fall more in love with him every day. I'm feeling better than I have ever felt, and I'm finally learning to forgive myself and move past things. I'm not afraid anymore, I'm not afraid to let people in because yes, there is going to be loss. But there's always going to be love too. And with that realization I stopped my pacing and walked down the old staircase that I had run up angrily after meeting Damon the first time, kissed him on, ran down trying to get away from him after the barn and eventually climbed again when I returned home.

I started the walk to the isle behind Caroline, Jenna and Bonnie who were chattering excitedly. You couldn't wipe the smile off of my face if you tried, and as we came over the hill I heard the music. This was actually happening. Jenna smiles widely at me before she places her arm on a smiling Rick's elbow. They start to walk down the small hill slowly and I watch as Caroline and Klaus as well as Bonnie and Jaime disappear.

"Elena." A deep voice calls. My head swivels and I smile even wide as I see him. Giuseppe is smiling at me, his green eyes soft and full of tears as he places an arm out for me.

"You look beautiful Elena. Damon's going to have a coronary." He chuckled. I laughed and hugged him. I couldn't have picked someone better to give me away in place of my own father.

"Thanks Giuseppe." I smiled and grabbed his arm, took a deep breath and came over the top of the hill. There were a lot of different things to look at a wedding, especially at your own wedding. But all of them paled in significance next to him, he stood in an all-black suit at the end of the aisle with his head down and his hands wound together. But then he looked up, and the pure joy on his face and sparkling in his eyes made me almost stop in my tracks. If I didn't have Giuseppe next to me ushering me along I would have stopped and stared at him. He was so gorgeous and so happy, and so…mine. This is it, exactly what I wanted, him.

There was no slate clean enough on the planet to give myself the fresh start I had always thought I wanted. But I was searching for the wrong thing. I know that now, I don't want a clean slate, because if it wasn't for those years or pain and torment I wouldn't have found him, I wouldn't have fallen in love with Damon. I want every mistake and misfortune to be out in the open, I wanted to be accepted and love despite all of my marks and blemishes. And I had found it with Damon. And with the months that passed, turning to years I learned there was nothing more valuable in life than love. Love between siblings, friends, family, and the love between my husband and me.

My love for Damon is always changing, like the woods in autumn. You are attracted by bright eyes and colors that look promising and the new and strong feelings it represents. The vivid colors have a shelf life though and all good things come to an end eventually, time will change it.

Winter is an unforgiving season, sharp. It retaliates bitterly and rabidly. You are forced to adjust and adapt. The winters will be cold, as cold as the words we yell at one another when we fight, because everything we do, we do with passion. But when the spring comes around we thaw, we remember all the good things, every emotion that had attracted us in the beginning.

Everything feels like new again. But when the fall comes back around, you suddenly remember that it was all worth it, because his love doesn't die, his love doesn't wither, it's relentless and resilient, withstanding any fight, storm or problem. Our love is a constant cycle set in motion by nature. It wasn't supposed to happen but it did, and I thank god every day for it.

I know I'll be okay, because when he's with me, the pieces fit. The gaping hole I thought would remain unfilled is overflowing. And for however long I live and he is by my side in heaven or hell, I am Damon's. All of me. No shards of who I used to be, only who I am now.

_**As a reader, you see a story with a finite begging and end. As a writer, you say that the end is never the end, just the beginning, and the start of a new story. There will always be characters you wish you wrote more of, more detail, better story arcs and loose ends that remain untied. There's always something more, there's always more than one interpretation, that's the beauty of writing, for every person it's different, you walk away with something different. I honestly hope that I left no unanswered questions or unresolved plot holes ( that were too major) , reflecting back on the story I know I could have done better and balanced it with more from supporting characters, but I'm using this as a learning experience for my next writing pieces. Thank you so much for your continued support, for reading, reviewing and being a part of the story, I'm very grateful to have you all.**_

_**Thank you soooooo much.**_

_**Emily**_

_*** p. s stop by my page and read my new stories if you have the chance***_

There was no slate clean enough on the planet to give myself a fresh start 8i had always thought, but i was searching for the wrong thing. I know that now, i don't want a clean slate, because if it wasn't for those years or pain and torment i wouldnt have foumd him. My love for Damon is always changing, like the woods in autumn. You are attracted by bright eyes and colors that look promising and the feelings it entails. The vivid colors have a shelf life though and all good thints come to an end eventually, time will change it. Winter is an unforgiving season, sharp. it retaliates bitterly and rabidly. You are forced to adjust and adapt. The winters will be cold, as cold as the words we yell at one another when we fight, because eeryhing we do we do with passion. but when the spring comes around we thaw, we remember all the good things, everything feels like new again. But when the fall comes back around, you suddenly remember that it was all worth it, because his love doesn't die, his love doesn't wither, it's relentless and resilient, withdtanding any fight, storm or problem. Our love is a constant cycle set in motion by nature. It wasn't supposed to happen but it did, and I thank god everyday for it.

I know I'll be okay, because when he's with me, the pieces fit. The gaping hole I thought would remian a void is overflowing. And there are no shards of who I was, there's only who I am now. and right now and for however long I live and he is by my side in heaven or hell, I am Damon's. all of me.

As a reader, you see a story with a finite begging and end. As a writer, you say that the end is never the end, just the beginning, the start of a new story. There will always be characters you wish you wrote more of, more detail, better story arcs and loose ends that remain untied. There's always something more, there's always more than one interpretation, that's the beauty aid writing, for every person it's different, you walk away with something different.


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